4-year “relationship” that feels like a situationship, am I forcing something that isn’t there?

I need honest opinions because I feel stuck between what I feel and what I’m actually experiencing. 29F I’ve been involved with this guy 33M (let’s call him Steve) since 2021. He considers us to be in a relationship, and he doesn’t like it when I call it a situationship; he says it’s disrespectful. But the truth is, it doesn’t feel like a full relationship to me. We don’t really go on proper dates or spend consistent quality time together. Most of the time, he’ll get an Airbnb, we meet there, spend the night together, and then he drops me home. That’s been the pattern for years. (Airbnb because, I consider it neutral ground and also because he lives out of town, he doesn’t pay the bills in my house so, in a man's mind he wouldn't set foot where he doesn’t farm) He does provide financially, but mostly when I ask, like paying for my random day meals, hair, nails, or even clothes sometimes. But it’s not really matched with emotional presence. To be very honest, it feels like begging, i am very financially stable, its just that as a 1st born daughter, i am trying to learn how to ask for help or even things. Emotionally, I don’t feel deeply understood or prioritized. We also don’t integrate our lives, he doesn’t like meeting my friends or being part of that side of my life, my interests bother him so much, he says they are very male dominant hobbies, I am a biker and he fears that a lot, I go for hikes, he hates it, I love camping, he is too monied to sleep in a tent. I barely know his interests no matter how hard I try! (I actually gave up) We’ve had ongoing issues over the years, especially around how we handle conflict. Recently, we had our first big fight where I handled things badly (I got drunk, yelled, and acted out), and I’ve taken responsibility for that. But even outside of that, I feel like this dynamic drains me. I want a deeper connection, emotionally and in how we actually spend time together, not just something that revolves around convenience and sex (even though the physical side is good). What makes this more confusing is that he talks a lot about the future, he says we’d be a “badass couple” and is very serious about having kids with me. But that doesn’t seem to match how things are in the present. You know what the fucked up thing with me is, I do care about him, i dont know if i really love him, and I can see potential & i probably shouldn't. But at the same time, this has been going on for years without really changing. My questions are: 1. Does this sound like a real relationship, or something more like a prolonged situationship? 2. Can something like this realistically grow into a deeper, emotionally fulfilling relationship after this long? 3. Am I holding onto potential instead of reality? I’d really appreciate honest perspectives