can’t sleep unless i’m completely exhausted

You should look up to revenge bedtime procrastination; when you spend all day grinding or dealing with stress, your brain refuses to sleep because it feels like you didn't get any actual time to yourself.So you stay up until you pass out just to feel like you have some control over your day. You're definitely not alone with that

I had severe nightmares and trouble falling asleep for pretty much my entire childhood/ young adulthood Now that I'm older it's not as bad. I don't work or have school anymore so I'm actually allowed to sleep when I'm tired. I self medicated a lot too, with weed and alcohol mostly. I genuinely think I have a sleeping disorder though I've not been diagnosed. I did try a few different sleep aids when I was younger and a couple over the counter too when I was younger and I hated all of them, mostly for drowsiness or nightmares again. Not to say I don't think meds couldnt help others, I really think a good night's sleep is waaayy underestimated how important it is, and I have friends that got so much help from sleep aids. You should really talk to a doctor if it's a real problem, I'm not guaranteeing it will help, but there's a possibility of it so it's always worth trying

No computers or screen time for 2 hours before bed. No food 2 hours before bed. No stressful activity 2 hours before bed. You don't need any fancy supplements just good sleep discipline. Screen light especially screws over your body's circadian rhythms and keeps you awake longer.

yup...i stay awake as late as 3AM and its very hard to fall asleep tired or not...

I don't think it's the revenge bedtime procrastination others have mentioned. I think, more simply, it's stress and exhaustion. There are an infinite number of things that could be on your mind. And once the day is over and the immediate tasks (work, commute, dinner, clean) are done, your brain is still in a sort of rushing around mode and starts having racing thoughts (it sounds like) of everything it could possibly think of because now that the immediate tasks are gone, there's plenty more to fill the void.  When this happens, I try to forgive myself for not sleeping. I try to be like hey. Shit happens. Beating myself up is only gonna make the situation worse. I try to forgive myself for the fact that it's 2am or whatever and I haven't slept yet. Usually that kinda helps and then I try to focus on something else NOT RELATED to the next day (eg, I imagine floating down a river).  Before bed, to prevent this, I:  - dim the lights  - absolutely no Instagram or Listnook (or any infinite scroll apps with awful political and social content)  - maybe YouTube or TV if I want.  - I try to just breathe and let go, let go of my thoughts for the next day, let go of my stress about what I did or didn't get done that day, let go of my worries of what people thought of me, etc.  - breathing helps. Analog activities helps. I play guitar a little, super quietly, just whatever random stuff comes to mind or easy 4-chord songs from online tabs.  - honestly I sort of sing to myself on rough nights. I just hum a song or mutter the lyrics or something like that.  The biggest thing to avoid, in my opinion, is the crushing anxiety that comes from "oh f*** it's 2am and I can't sleep and tomorrow is gonna be shit and-" etc.  That anxiety just makes the problem worse which makes the anxiety worse, etc. it's a positive feedback loop.  To let go of that anxiety I have to let go of today, let go of tomorrow, and just... Forgive myself for whatever it may be, and try to focus only on the present. (Imagine floating on a river, etc).  I hope you can resolve this soon :). I know how crushing and draining it is. Let me know if you have any more questions :)

Try Ashwaganda, kava or magnesium! They help quiet my crazy mind ALOT and i feel energised the next day

Melatonin is the answer.

Get an app that teaches mindfulness, like Headspace. This will teach you to quiet your mind when it's racing. Sleep will come more easily. You don't have to be at the mercy of your racing thoughts. You can learn to control them. Also, cut out caffeine

Yep, I can’t sleep until I crash. Hate it

Remove all screens from the bedroom. Bedroom should be for sleep and sex only. When you lie down, start to count backwards from 300 in 3s. Say each number in your head as you go. If you find this too easy and your mind keeps thinking about other stuff, do 700 in 7s. The trick is thought task should be difficult enough that you can focus on that solely and keeps you from thinking about other things. If you lose count or where you were (this will happen when you get close to sleeping) then just start over. It really works. Challenge yourself to get to zero. I’m yet to make it to zero.

ADHD?? I am and I'm the same way. It sucks so much 😔 But also I'm in perimenopause and recently started having terrible night sweats. So now I literally dread going to sleep. I forgot to air one of my pillows out and now it's still damp. I change the pillowcases every day but the pillow itself is damp and I swear I can feel it through the pillowcase. So I'm using a different pillow but that one isn't as comfortable. I'm miserable 😖 I have to make an appointment with a new Dr cuz my old one left the practice and I don't like the one that's left.

i think that's the point tho.

ur body is tired but ur brain keeps running that’s why you only fall asleep when you’re completely exhausted...set a simple routine before bed everyday.. try reading or listening to calm music.. those can help your mind slow down.

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yeah i always need to read or listen or watch something in order to make myself sleepy, kinda annoying

I take about six meds to make myself sleep. My insomnia was/is quite severe. Yours sounds as bad and it might be a good idea to reach out to a doctor to see if they have advice. Meds aren't a failure. They're just a bit of help, like a bandaid.