Colombia authorizes the use of euthanasia to stop the spread of Pablo Escobar’s hippos

Humans can hunt them. At least that is what they do in Africa

Somehow all of that inbreeding didn’t cause big problems for them.

The only thing that kills them in Africa is the dry season.

Bull sharks

What’s stopping them in their natural habitat? I have so much trouble grasping invasive species. It’s weird to me how they are unoptimized for a place and yet are outcompeting species that are optimized for the region.

Seriously, my hippos barely have any babies before they get too old and die 😞

Was not expecting the game to be mentioned in the time line today damn

Idk math sounds off on that one

Once all of earth's mass has been turned into hippos, where is the rest of the mass to make enough hippos to reach the goal going to come from?

He didn’t need smart hippos

Inbreeding isn't the end of the population as long as you weren't super unlucky with the initial parents' genetics. Yeah, they might not be the blue ribbon show hippos, but they're still hippos living with unlimited food and no competition - they're gonna survive to adulthood and have kids despite any minor defects. 

Most problems with inbreeding happen when it continues, i.e. brother-sister relationships for multiple generations. This is one male, 3 females. First generation is half siblings and it quickly stops being direct relationships within a few generations. Yeah, you have some limitations in the gene pool, more chances of certain diseases popping up, but not inbreeding like you imagine it or what happens to dogs after people force breed brothers and sisters for a century.

I second the proposal for the titanoboa. A thing of beauty.

They ate fish, not giant animals

I think that Spinosaurs would fit really well into the Amazon

It'd be even cuter since it's extra big!

This comment is ridiculous. One super jaguar can't kill all these hippos no matter how enormous it is, what we need is a pride of mega-lions. They will also be easier to find than the super jaguar once they eat all the hippos and move on to the surrounding villages as they starve.

Why don’t we just put up some 5G towers down there then they will turn gay and die out.

If Red Dead Redemption has taught me anything, it's that all you need to kill anything instantly without warning is a Texan mountain lion.

I propose Smilodon Populator!!

We would, but thankfully that bill didn't pass because a bunch of people realized how incredibly ill-tempered hippos are.

Nutria were basically the test run.

I.... Yes, as a Cajun creole coonass....that was my first thought. "How fatty....what kinda cuts you get....how hard to hunt from an airboat...licenses.."

I’m the f****** hippo guy!

They’re basically huge aquatic wagyu.

There was a proposal long long ago to introduce them to Louisiana specifically to hunt and eat them. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/how-the-us-almost-became-a-nation-of-hippo-ranchers-180982244/#:~:text=The%20only%20one%20way%20to,America's%20low%2Dcost%20meat%20supply.

In the US we looked into setting up hippo ranches in the south east

Manatees, too, apparently....

"No sleep til Hippo!!"

wild animals are generally better to eat than farmed ones

Neutering hippos is extraordinarily difficult. See, when males fight they will absolutely go for the groin, so male hippos have a way of yanking their testes about a foot up into their body cavity to protect themselves. So neutering a male hippo is just as hard as spaying one, if not harder (because at least the uterus doesn't *run and hide* and force you to go searching for it).

They've tried. There was a documentary about it.

Much safer too. They kill more people than any other big animal in Africa.

I kissed the joke then read your comment. Dude chose violence.

If its a big bump we call it a line

Only when they're hungry

Culling is a correct term as well, but euthanasia is appropriate here as well. Euthanasia is the procedure, even if you disagree with the reason it is performed. In [veterinary](https://www.msdvetmanual.com/management-and-nutrition/euthanasia/euthanasia-of-animals) terms, “Euthanasia refers to ending the life of an animal in a manner that minimizes pain, distress, and anxiety before loss of consciousness.” “"We have a euthanasia protocol that seeks to guarantee technical and ethical criteria to carry it out in a safe and responsible manner," [Minister of Environment and Sustainable Development of Colombia] Vélez said. The [procedure](https://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2026/04/13/latam-colombia-hippos-euthanize-escobar/6671776105886/) includes chemical and physical euthanasia and requires prior confinement of the animals to minimize risks. The cost per hippo can reach up to $14,000, including sedation, the operation and final disposal through on-site burial” They’re not just inhumanely butchering them like culling chicks in a blender at a factory farm or letting d***** trophy hunters make them suffer.

No don't ruin it. I like the image of my head of some very nervous vet tech trying to use a syringe on a animal that could bite them on half.

He's actually correct. The only megafauna that survived were those that evolved along side humans in Africa. Everywhere humans spread lost their megafauna.