ListNook

frazorblade Mar 30, 2026 +78

Anyone got Ja Rule’s take on this?

78

DaKingaDaNorth Mar 30, 2026 +6

Ja Rule's got be like "stop asking me shit"

6

hickorymonkey Mar 30, 2026 +6

That X got him thinkin' he was DMX, then he switched to Pac, now he's tryna be him next.

6

fonzdizon Mar 31, 2026 +7

WHERE IS JA!!??

7

G-DevilOrion2077 Mar 31, 2026 +2

I’m here to honor Ja

2

aipac125 Mar 30, 2026 +36

Also Dave- lets bomb Greta Thunburg

36

Emergency-Amount2548 Mar 30, 2026 +24

If someone has a strong stance on Greta Thunburg, it's a giant f****** red flag

24

wookiebath Mar 30, 2026 -14

Lots of people don’t like antisemites

-14

LLREnew Mar 31, 2026 +10

Being against genocide isn’t antisemitic

10

wookiebath Mar 31, 2026 -9

Who said it was?

-9

IllustriousGas8850 Mar 31, 2026 +3

You in your last comment? Provide an example of her being antisemitic

3

wookiebath Mar 31, 2026 -3

I didn’t say that

-3

IllustriousGas8850 Mar 31, 2026 +1

You said “lots of people don’t like antisemites” in response to a comment discussing opinions on Greta, implying she’s antisemitic. I’m only aware of her stance that Israel is committing genocide. Can you provide an example of something she’s done that you deem to be antisemitic?

1

Crystal_Pesci Mar 31, 2026 +4

Misspelled “Pro Genocide Israelis”

4

wookiebath Mar 31, 2026 -8

Never heard of them

-8

Crystal_Pesci Mar 31, 2026 +5

Deaf don't hear

5

wookiebath Mar 31, 2026 -3

Or nobody cares what antisemites say

-3

Crystal_Pesci Mar 31, 2026 +3

You, in this case, being nobody.

3

EmergencyLook2802 Mar 30, 2026 +103

Never thought I would agree with this guy but hey a broken clock is right twice a day

103

Im_Ur_Huckleberry77 Mar 30, 2026 +18

But wait, let's take a look at the undercarriage.

18

explainingjane Mar 30, 2026 -1

Five, three. Sloppy as hell

-1

KoosGoose Mar 30, 2026 +2

This one was slow and right over the plate.

2

codithou Mar 31, 2026 +2

at one point he said apollonia’s was the best pizza in LA and i agreed with him then.

2

x7leafcloverx Mar 31, 2026 +2

A broken toilet is only as good as it is deep.

2

TugJobTony Mar 31, 2026 +2

I’m going to start using that. Thank you.

2

x7leafcloverx Mar 31, 2026 +1

Ha, you're welcome!

1

covfefenation Apr 1, 2026 +1

This makes no sense in this context Or any context, really

1

x7leafcloverx Apr 1, 2026 +1

You’re only as wise the paper bag is thin.

1

Haunting_Tax_3684 Mar 31, 2026

I understand that a clock not moving would be right 2 times per day but what if that broken clock was moving at a wrong speed then what it’s supposed to go at, then it would never be the right time, so you’re analogy doesn’t line up.

0

ohjeezs Mar 30, 2026 +33

Thanks Captain Obvious

33

jeno_aran Mar 30, 2026 +22

Thanks for the bold stance Dave Portnoy

22

NashvilleDing Mar 30, 2026 +22

I hate agreeing with him. Damn you tiger

22

2401PenitentTangentx Mar 30, 2026 +43

Dave Portnoy 100% drives shit faced multiple times a week

43

SoulCycle_ Mar 31, 2026 +8

based on what lmao

8

Crystal_Pesci Mar 31, 2026 +10

His entire bottom shelf personality

10

gummo_for_prez Mar 31, 2026 +4

If cocaine was a person

4

soscbjoalmsdbdbq Mar 30, 2026 +6

Tbh he probably just ubers all the time lol but hes always drunk as hell

6

felis_scipio Mar 30, 2026 +6

Seriously when is that scrawny sack of shit ever not drunk?

6

IllustriousGas8850 Mar 31, 2026 +1

He probably just has a driver. Like all rich people

1

optimis344 Mar 30, 2026 +1

You sure he can reach the pedals?

1

xXMoo_OomXx Mar 30, 2026 +55

I would rather jump ass first in a d**** factory than listen to a f****** thing Port not says.

55

Miles_the_AuDHDer Mar 30, 2026 +19

Time to head to the d**** factory

19

MichaelMyersEatsDogs Mar 30, 2026 +9

Is that a factory that makes Dave Portnoys?

9

Im_TroyMcClure Mar 30, 2026 +12

Kinda weird you’re here commenting on something he said then

12

IkeClantonsBeard Mar 30, 2026 +31

Dude likes to jump ass first into a d**** factory, nothing wrong with that.

31

Diciestaking Mar 30, 2026 +4

Not a single thing wrong with that

4

Neggor Mar 30, 2026 +2

D**** factory was closed today.

2

xXMoo_OomXx Mar 30, 2026 -16

That's a very good boy, yes you are. Roll over do a trick.

-16

_Badwulf_Bruh__ Mar 30, 2026 +9

F*** that’s bad. Delete this please.

9

MichaelMyersEatsDogs Mar 30, 2026 +6

I agreed with your first comment but what the hell is this man? An absolute miss

6

Im_TroyMcClure Mar 30, 2026 +14

Seems like you have a d**** factory to visit

14

smellb4rain Mar 30, 2026 +4

Watching him lose a shit load of money on the Super Bowl was the only time I’ve ever been entertained by that walking trash bag.

4

DethKlokBlok Mar 30, 2026 +3

I used to enjoy the pizza reviews before the pandemic and before I realized what a sick he was.

3

Ok_Literature6953 Mar 31, 2026 +1

Or in the timeless words of El-P, he can "run naked backwards through a field of dicks" for all I care about his jagoff opinions.

1

bigstrizzydad Mar 30, 2026 +13

I'd rather ride with Tiger than listen to a racist scumbag like Portnoy.

13

jsakic99 Mar 30, 2026 +3

Dave Portnoy: The voice of reason, lol

3

Sinisterminister77 Mar 30, 2026 +3

Avid Trump supporter during Iran worried about Tiger Woods killing someone

3

Etzell Mar 30, 2026 +17

Credibly accused rapist Dave Portnoy?

17

thecoastertoaster Mar 30, 2026 +2

I would have never suspected i’d hear words of wisdom from Portnoy’s mouth, but here we are in 2026.

2

worksnake Mar 30, 2026 +2

Not a huge Dream Theater fan, but gotta agree with Portnoy here.

2

CategoryHotStuff Mar 30, 2026 +2

He’s 100% getting out of the DUI. He didn’t refuse the breathalyzer and denying additional hospital testing is your right. Lawyer beat the same type of DUI for a buddy of mine. He told the cop f*** off he ain’t giving blood, got charged. It was thrown out at the prelim by a c**** lawyer..

2

l4funandlove Mar 30, 2026 +2

He should really look in the mirror. Hes promoted so much hate that kills... but hey why be self reflective when ur rich

2

kennyloftor Mar 30, 2026 +4

here come the racist losers that glaze portnoy

4

CrittyJJones Mar 30, 2026 +2

I'm not a fan of Portnoy, but he isn't wrong in this situation.

2

ComicsEtAl Mar 30, 2026 +3

Nobody loves Captain Dave enough to tell him to sit this one out.

3

RarelySqueezed Mar 30, 2026 +4

So you think hes wrong?

4

ComicsEtAl Mar 30, 2026 +2

I think he’s a drunk and an a****** who needs to sit this one out.

2

RarelySqueezed Mar 30, 2026 +2

Hes for sure an a******

2

LivedLostLivalil Mar 30, 2026 +6

A negative test for alcohol (police said he had no alcohol in his system, so I'm curious what test they are talking about) doesn't automatically mean he was taking another substance like the police suggest. No one should ever agree to a urine test by police without a court order. It just takes one cop needing a case to prove themselves to charge you on a false positive or a positive based on regular foods. They are trying to do their job investigating you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take steps to protect yourself from people who are trying to put forth any potential crime they can think of.

6

rekipsj Mar 30, 2026 +9

Generally, you are talking sense, however, in order to have a Florida driver's license you consent to giving such a test. Failure to do so is a second degree misdemeanor and a pretty good sign to a jury that you've got something to withhold. An attorney would tell you in this case, if you don't have anything in your system, test repeatedly.

9

LivedLostLivalil Mar 30, 2026 -1

Admittedly, I'm not from Florida and am not clear on the law, but he did get tested for alcohol, putting him in full compliance with the state of florida. He didnt give additional testing. I'd also much rather take a 2nd degree misdemeanor over a felony because I ate a bagel that has poppy seeds on it or took Sudafed. One month in jail on the test the cops give only for the lab testing (which was expected to take 6 months) to be thrown out for someone "mishandling the evidence" (according to my lawyer, the cops got the lab results back and instead of admitting to fault themselves, they said the evidence got contiminated and I'm free to go). No apology, for wild accusations of drug trafficking that kept me in jail, nothing. I'd never even drank or did drugs before.

-1

rekipsj Mar 30, 2026 +1

He doesn't get to pick the test he does. Your lawyer generally wouldn't be wrong, but that's why the Florida system is set up this way. He may have avoided jail had he complied. He still may be he's in a very conservative county that punishes harder than the vast majority of the rest of the state. That said, I am waiting for a sweetheart deal to come along.

1

LivedLostLivalil Mar 30, 2026 +1

Yes, but they already did test him. They tested for alcohol, but they are asking for more urine for more testing since he had no alcohol in his system. I don't see enough evidence to charge him with a DUI in court, so they will end up giving a generous plea deal to avoid losing in court. Edit:I see now, it was breathalyzer so that probably not enough fro Florida. Still, I'm never giving my urine or blood to police officers without a warrant again. Too much cognitive bias and inability to change their initial impression (I was nervous, so I must be hiding something).

1

mojo-jojo-was-framed Mar 30, 2026 +3

People get the benefit of doubt when they’ve earned it. Tiger has not earned with his multiple car incidents and drug incidents

3

LivedLostLivalil Mar 30, 2026

I doubt your sense of justice considering you think mojo JoJo was innocent.

0

YouGO_GlennCoCo Mar 30, 2026 +1

Tiger has long since lost the benefit of the doubt and honestly there comes a point where there is simply too much circumstantial evidence to ignore.

1

ninjaface Mar 30, 2026 +4

DOWNVOTE THIS DIPSHIT. Pizza bro says stuff while ruining sports with his betting BS. FUUUUUCK dave porthole.

4

Im_TroyMcClure Mar 30, 2026

Yes I’m sure all of sports betting is being held up by this one guy

0

CrittyJJones Mar 30, 2026

Yea sports is sooooo ruined lol

0

Yiplzuse Mar 30, 2026 +2

Countdown to Dave Portnoy getting a DUI starts right now.

2

better_every_day14 Mar 30, 2026 +3

Broken clock I guess?

3

robbadobba Mar 30, 2026 +1

In other news, Portnoy gives random pizza joint a 6.4.

1

Movinginplace25 Mar 30, 2026 +1

Apparently you don't care about yourself or the people that love you but maybe think about the other souls on the road. Nice role model.

1

Leather_Egg2096 Mar 30, 2026 +1

How horrible of a person do you need to be to care what this guy says? How many families has he destroyed getting people addicted to gambling?

1

PiaggioBV350 Mar 30, 2026 +1

Guy could a 100 chauffeurs and a golden car. But no let me drink flip.

1

realbobenray Mar 30, 2026 +1

Why does Tennis World USA give a shit what Dave Portnoy says about anything, let alone Tiger Woods?

1

Reeko_Htown Mar 30, 2026 +1

Can Dave even see above the steering wheel?

1

SnooLobsters6766 Mar 30, 2026 +1

This from the guy who managed to work “libt*rd” into a pizza review.

1

cabbages212 Mar 31, 2026 +1

Can it be Portnoy? /s

1

TheShipEliza Mar 31, 2026 +1

Dave def strikes me as a guy who never ever drives drunk so this is a big and important thing.

1

tissboom Mar 31, 2026 +1

When Dave Portnoy has the high moral ground… You know you’ve lost

1

Devilofchaos108070 Mar 31, 2026 +1

I guess scumbags can be right occasionally

1

Ok_Sun6867 Mar 31, 2026 +1

Regardless of WHO said it, He IS going to kill somebody if he continues to drive intoxicated.

1

monkeyhoward Mar 30, 2026 +1

Maybe it will be Pete Carroll and Dave will get his wish. Wouldn’t that be ironic

1

twstdbydsn Mar 30, 2026 +1

Can Portnoy even see over the steering wheel without a booster seat?

1

smellb4rain Mar 30, 2026 +1

How bad do you have to f*** up to have a piece of work like Dave Portnoy calling you out?

1

carlboykin Mar 30, 2026 +1

Honestly surprised Portnoy didn’t defend him. He defends every other rich person that does terrible shit.

1

Rich-Obligation1310 Mar 30, 2026 -7

I don’t remember asking.

-7

beanlikescoffee Mar 30, 2026 +1

That’s the great thing, you don’t need to

1

Rich-Obligation1310 Mar 30, 2026 -8

Thanks genius

-8

beanlikescoffee Mar 30, 2026 +2

No problem since you think the world revolves around your permission to speak. Sometimes nuance is missed!

2

space_cheese1 Mar 30, 2026

The pizza man speaks

0

BreastTickles Mar 30, 2026

He will kill somebody. But he's rich, famous, and if he kills with a car he won't suffer any consequences. I'm sure he's already been told to decline any sobriety test no matter what.

0

Dave Portnoy slams Tiger Woods over DUI: “You’re gonna kill somebody”

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