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Announcements Mar 28, 2026 at 3:00 AM

Do you make your own birthday cake, and if so, why?

Posted by gr8plan

I have parents, two siblings and two adult kids, now long-distance. I always bake the birthday cakes for everyone's birthdays, sometimes boxed, sometimes from scratch. I always ask them what type of cake they want and that's what I make. No one bakes a cake for my birthday or asks what I want. My (elderly) parents like to take me out for a birthday dinner and I order a dessert. My daughter and sister may join us. I asked for a boxed cake this year, no luck. It's about 3 weeks past my birthday and I made one for myself tonight. I thought it would feel comforting, but now I just feel lonely, so I thought I'd share it here. Here's a picture, just a boxed cake, didn't try to clean up the edges or anything like I would have if I'd made it for someone else. [https://imgur.com/HmPhnW5](https://imgur.com/HmPhnW5) Do you live alone, and if so, how do you celebrate your birthday? Do you make a cake for yourself?
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gr8plan Mar 28, 2026 +6
You know what? I'm gonna stick a darn candle in this thing, sing myself a song, and blow the candles out! It feels a little pathetic but I'm worth a cake, dang it! OK, candles, lit, sang to my myself, blew them out. [https://imgur.com/a/6imCJ9n](https://imgur.com/a/6imCJ9n)
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SAINTnumberFIVE Mar 28, 2026 +2
That sucks that nobody made you a cake. I typically order by my own cake because I’m picky about them and usually have something specific in mind for my birthday, however, should somebody happen to buy me a cake as a surprise, I certainly wouldn’t turn it down. I’ll eat just about any kind of cake, even a disappointing one. I did make myself a cake, one year, like a professional cake from scratch, and I’m never doing it again.  This year, I don’t have my cake situation sorted out yet, however, I do have a plan to go off to the mall on my own, go to Mrs. Fields cookies, buy a single frosted chocolate chip cookie and eat it there by myself. 
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gr8plan Mar 28, 2026 +2
Perfect!
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h_amphibius Mar 28, 2026 +2
I’m sorry nobody made you a cake :( happy belated birthday though!! I normally get a pie from village inn. Sometimes I order it myself, sometimes my boyfriend gets it for me. My mom occasionally gets me a cupcake or mini Bundt cake but it doesn’t happen every year
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gr8plan Mar 28, 2026 +1
What is your favorite pie?
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tryin_to_chill Mar 28, 2026 +1
Cherry Pie, pumpkin pie, chocolate pie, sweet potato pie
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Signal_Fox8743 Mar 28, 2026 +2
I love that cake. The people in my life don’t do anything for me, so I’ll get a carrot cake or cheesecake for myself.
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[deleted] Mar 28, 2026 +1
[deleted]
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gr8plan Mar 28, 2026 +1
Aww, I would make one for you if I knew you. Does that feel lonely? If not, did you feel a shift - like how did you get used to it?
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[deleted] Mar 28, 2026 +1
[deleted]
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gr8plan Mar 28, 2026 +2
Ah - expectations. I learned expectations of others is just setting myself up for disappointment. On one hand, I love being alone - doing everything they way I like. At the same time, I feel the need to bend to my mom's desire to take me out to dinner on my birthday because she will feel guilty if she doesn't do something to recognize it. So my birthday is for her, lol. Nice chatting with you. :)
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Swimming-Sleep-1935 Mar 28, 2026 +1
i always make my own cake bc i'm super picky about flavors and i'd rather have exactly what i want than pretend to like someone else's choice. still sucks that nobody made one for you tho, sending birthday hugs 💕.
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gr8plan Mar 28, 2026 +1
Ha! I get that. I tend to do a lot of the cooking in my family, but they have all made boxed cakes for their kids, so I know they can! I'd rather have a boxed cake with my family than anything else - no dinner (we already don't do cards or presents) - just a simple cake. I think it's feeling that I'm worth the effort, in the same way that I think it's worth my effort to make a cake for them. Thank you for the hugs! It's so nice to have a place to share and be heard.
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Pizza-ist-Liebe Mar 28, 2026 +1
I'm sorry that nobody made you a cake, but even more so that you are feeling lonely and not appreciated 😔 I think that where I'm from, adults usually don't get a cake. There often is one, but mostly because when you invite family over, traditionally you eat cake in the afternoon. Same goes for work. But the person who usually spends the most time in the kitchen would probably also make the cake. That being said - I don't know you, but I'd like to hug you and give you a cake. It wouldn't be the most beautiful or impressive one you've ever seen... But I am very confident it'd taste good ☺️
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tryin_to_chill Mar 28, 2026 +1
When mom was alive she either made the cake or went and bought an expensive one. I don't celebrate mine. But recently, I did buy a cake for a friend of mine. It was a 4 layer dual German chocolate cake from Dillons or Kroger. It's $25 but it's worth it.
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sweet_fiction Mar 28, 2026 +1
That is a replica of Matilda’s chocolate cake. I’m sorry others don’t give you the same effort you give to them. You deserve better and I’m glad you made your own birthday cake. Don’t depend on anyone else, don’t wait for anyone else. Sometimes we got to do things ourselves and you showed yourself self love by making your special cake. Happy belated birthday OP!
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Plump-Tamika Mar 28, 2026 +1
Oh man, that's rough! It's totally understandable why you'd feel lonely when you go above and beyond for everyone else and don't get that same love back. Making yourself a cake, even a boxed one, is a great act of self-care though. Maybe this is the year you decide what YOU want to do for your birthday, no matter what!
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Comfortable_Rip6435 Mar 28, 2026 +1
For my last birthday I went on a vacation and spent my birthday alone in the mountains. I knew I'd probably be alone on my birthday anyway and being in the mountains doing fun stuff beat being sad at home.  I like to make cakes and have done so for friends and family birthdays over the years. I only had one person ever actually make a cake for my birthday and we're not even friends anymore. 😕 I dunno. I guess I like birthdays but growing up it was never really treated as a special thing, also my sister and I's bdays are 3 days apart so it was always shared. I kinda want someone to make a big deal about my birthday one year, but I mean I turned 30 and the only person who gave me a card was my sister. It can feel really lonely when no one makes an effort to make you feel special! 🫂
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MontanaPurpleMtns Mar 28, 2026 +1
I always make my own because it’s my mom’s recipe and is labor intensive. I don’t care for most cakes because they’re boring, and too often, dry. I like baking so making it myself is kind of a present to me all by itself.
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Scuh Mar 28, 2026 +1
When I was younger my mum would make cakes for my birthday. I used to make my own cakes after that and decorate it with chocolate frosting, toasted almonds and cream. These days I find a cake in a cake shop that I want and buy it.
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HeCalledMeLucifer Mar 28, 2026 +1
Of course! It’s an excuse to make a cake that I like. Normally I’m making them for other people. Everyone has different favourites so the ones I’m making for others are not ones I’d choose myself. I hope you enjoyed your cake! You made the right decision having one. 
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Commercial-Session17 Mar 28, 2026 +1
I don’t bake but I always wanted to try
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Think_Section_7712 Mar 28, 2026
No.
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