I was just thinking about this randomly and got curious.
Growing up, a lot of us heard things like “be strong” or “don’t overreact,” and it kind of became normal. At the time, it didn’t feel like a big deal, but now I wonder if it shapes how we deal with things as adults.
Like sometimes people open up easily, and sometimes it feels really hard to even put feelings into words.
I’ve started noticing this more in day-to-day life, especially in how people react to stress or awkward conversations.
Do you think the way you were raised has influenced how you handle emotions now, or do you think it’s more personality?
Yes definitely, when you are young and growing, the way you were talked to, treated etc makes a big impact on how you are going to see things, communicate and feel when you are an adult.
Proof of this is most personality disorders tend to develop more or less depending on your childhood/ teenage years.
2
Sea_Cookie_8683Mar 30, 2026
+1
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
It’s kind of crazy how the way we’re spoken to or treated early on just becomes our “normal,” and we carry that into adulthood without even realizing it. The communication patterns, the way we react, even how we see ourselves… a lot of it traces back there.
I guess the difficult part is most people don’t connect the dots until much later, if at all.
1
kebabypatatasMar 30, 2026
+2
Yes, exactly, a lot of people don’t realise but the good thing is that people can always get better and learn to break patterns!
2
SelectiveSurrenderMar 30, 2026
+2
Yeah, I definitely think how we grew up affects how we handle emotions.
My mom used to say “don’t cry” and “be strong” all the time. Even now, I still find it really hard to cry in front of people — it feels almost uncomfortable.
It’s interesting how those little phrases stick with you and shape things without us realizing.
Do you feel like your upbringing influenced you a lot in this area too?
2
Sea_Cookie_8683Mar 30, 2026
+1
*Exactly this. And what hits different is, I'm a girl, so crying was never something I had to justify. If something hurt, I could just let it out. That was always okay for me.*
*But when I look at the men around me, my friends, my father, it's a completely different story. The pain is still there. You can feel it. But it just sits inside them, quiet and heavy, with nowhere to go.*
*My father, for example. I've watched him carry so much over the years and never once say "this is hard for me." Not once. Not because he's unaffected, but because I think he genuinely doesn't know that he's allowed to be.*
*And my friends are the same. They'll joke about something that clearly hurt them. They'll go silent in moments where I'd probably cry. They've just learned to compress it all down so deep that even they stop recognizing it as pain.*
*That's the part you said that really stayed with me, "it becomes your normal." Because that's exactly it. They're not suppressing consciously. They just never got shown another way. The silence was modeled, and so the silence continues.*
*It really does take so long to connect those dots. And honestly, some people never get the chance to... :(* If it’s hard to be a woman, it’s just as hard to be a man.
1
Previous-Incident446Mar 30, 2026
+2
for sure, the way you grow up really impacts how you deal with emotions. if you were taught to bottle things up, it's tough to just open up later on. it's wild how those lessons stick with us into adulthood, right?
2
Sea_Cookie_8683Mar 30, 2026
+1
Yeah, it really is.
It’s like those habits get wired in so early that even when you *want* to open up later, it doesn’t come naturally. You almost have to relearn something that should’ve been normal in the first place.
And yeah, it’s kind of wild how deeply it sticks… most people don’t even realize where it’s coming from.
1
Sea_Cookie_8683Mar 30, 2026
+1
*funny timing, i was literally just listening to something on this and it made me feel that men do feel, they just never got the permission to*
[https://youtu.be/bdBC5dM5baE](https://youtu.be/bdBC5dM5baE)
1
AncientDamage7674Mar 30, 2026
+1
Where do you suppose we learn such things if not from our guardians?
1
Sea_Cookie_8683Mar 30, 2026
+1
Yeah, exactly… it mostly does start there.
I think we pick it up from what we see and experience at home, not just what’s said but what’s *not* said too. How emotions are handled, whether they’re allowed or shut down… all of that quietly teaches us what’s okay.
Of course, other things influence us later as well, like friends or society, but those early patterns usually come from our guardians.
1
Minnymoon13Mar 30, 2026
+1
I grew up in a very stressful home with a single mom, she was always buried out, now she did try her best with me. But I really wish she would have just worked on herself more with her emotions and things probably would have been fine
1
HotHelp3692Mar 30, 2026
+1
Totally!! have u ever noticed? Kids that had family trauma at childhood already has the capability to face dramas in life
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