Do you think people ever truly change, or just get better at hiding who they are?

I feel people really do change, with trauma and emotional impacts on oneself being the most contributing factors. Often perceived as regrets. At least in those situations where things are quite serious!

i think some people definitely change, but a lot just become better at masking their true selves. it’s a wild mix of growth and self-preservation, honestly.

I know from experience that people can fundamenally change. It's sure not easy work, though. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who intentionally hide rather than do the work, but I think that, mostly, we tend to hide from ourselves more than anything. You can arrive at a false sense of having changed when you've really just gotten better at sublimating, and people can pretty easily get stuck there.

I think its both. It also depends on the person's past and what it is they are trying to change.

I think people can change, but not in the way we often picture it. A lot of people say “yeah yeah, I’ll change, don’t worry”, but I have a hard time believing it when it’s supposed to happen fast. Real change takes time. It usually comes from life hitting you a few times, from screwing up, learning, trying again, failing again and going through that whole “die and retry” loop. For someone to really change, it has to matter to them and that kind of meaning usually only comes with time and experience. So yes, I think people can change, just not instantly.

Change happens gradually over time but yes absolutely. Are you the same now as you ever were, or have you changed? If you’ve changed what makes other people not experience the same thing?

People change. People become more comfortable or less comfortable with who they are as they grow up and age. Personally, I've had some fundamental changes in thoughts and philosophy as I read more books, as I traveled globally outside of a small town where I grew up, met all sorts of other people, etc.. Willingness to change based on what you learn is a super power to me. Not a lot of people are willing to change their underlying assumptions and beliefs even when presented by an overwhelming amount of facts that contradict those assumptions and beliefs. I do believe there are some people that won't change. Not because they can't, because the have no desire or drive to change or they have a psychological disorder.

depends on situation

People can certainly change, it will usually be accompanied by a rather emotional state of regret and joy at the same time. For those who've learned to disguise this, to give this perception to others, for the purpose of deceit, even that will be revealed with enough pressure.

I think there are people who do genuinely change-for good and for bad. I also think there are a few that do get better at hiding who they really are. Eventually, they will reveal their true selves.

I'm honestly concerned by people that ask such questions. Have you seriously not changed in your entire life?

It depends. Are they toxic and manipulative, probably not. Are they too nice…yes…they will toughen up.

People don’t change, but they can grow and learn and make conscious decisions to be a better version of themselves. We all have ranges of possibilities, and personality traits have different expressions. A person who is an arrogant know it all can have experiences that teach them some humility and they can learn to appreciate other people’s knowledge, but they will probably still be a person who wants to be respected for their knowledge. Underlying personality traits don’t change, but those traits can have a positive or negative expression and people can mature into a more positive expression of their personality.

tbh i think the question itself is kinda flawed because it assumes theres a fixed "true self" underneath. ive changed a lot in the past few years and i genuinely dont recognize my old self sometimes. like old me was terrified of conflict and would agree with everything, now i can actually say no to people. is that hiding or changing? feels real to me but maybe someone from my past would say im just performing. i think the line between growth and masking is way blurrier than we like to admit

I knew someone really well for 40 years who gradually changed over time. This was someone who had treated me poorly, and who I never thought would apologize, but surprised me with, not just an apology, but with matching actions. I came to realize that they did their best at the time, and strived throughout their life to do better, often failing, but never giving up. I have to respect that.

In my experience, it’s tricky to tell the difference, because a lot of the time people just memorize the ‘right and wrong’ things to say and do, without learning why. They lack curiosity and self reflection, and they aren’t changing nearly as much as they think they are. They’re just changing behavior without understanding why it matters. It’s unsustainable, because they will always come from a place of: “Well, I changed all this stuff for you, so you should be happy (and shut up) now. Stop asking for so much.” They hide behind that, while secretly resenting you for holding them accountable and not letting their bs slide. They feel like they’re giving extra, when really, it’s basic respect and consideration. They don’t get that it’s not extra care, it’s the bare minimum, and no one should have to ask you to do the minimum in the first place. Frankly, you’re lucky if anyone has the patience for it, especially as you get older. It’s actually ridiculously simple. Be respectful and fair, or have unhappy, unfulfilling relationships. We all have stuff we need to work on ourselves, and those of us that do the work are happier for it. So you can either double down, which imo is often harder and self destructive af, or just do the work. People who actually change don’t need to be constantly explained to and negotiated with on how to treat others, cuz they looked at themselves and learnt respect, dignity, give and take, healthy boundaries, all the stuff that makes relationships functional, fair and enjoyable. Also, you can have healthy conflict with these people, where small things don’t blow up into a ridiculous argument with insults and yelling, or other toxic behavior that disrupts everyones lives. They listen and work with you to resolve whatever’s going on. They don’t go below the belt. They don’t hold it over your head after, either. From what I’ve heard it’s anticlimactic and boring, but calm lol.

Depends on the person. I noticed people who are more educated and have higher emotional intelligence tend to embrace new things, admit that some of their past beliefs may have been flawed, and therefore, change. People with lower EQ tend to thing that they are always right and this prevents them from changing.

Hiders hiding, changers changing. It's a matter of preference.