Don’t want kids

Kids are great, I love my daughter more than anything in the world. But you also have to sacrifice a lot of the things you used to do - be it scrap them entirely or just reduce them a lot. I wouldn’t trade her for the world but it’s undeniable that it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. If you don’t want kids that’s totally fine - never let yourself get pressured into something you don’t want, especially when it comes to having children.

There is one thing that I can say on this topic with certainty: people who don't want kids should not have kids. I won't ever try to convince someone otherwise.

We chose not to have kids and it worked for us. I don’t think I had it in me to be a good mother; I would have hated playdates and having to deal with other parents. I think I ended a very long line of mothers regretting their kids. My grandmother was just awfully mean to my own mother. My mother just wanted to be a good mother, and she is. We’ll leave it there.

It’s your life and your choice. We have freedom to choose in life. Don’t let anyone sway you one way or the other. If you never have kids that’s okay. If you change your mind someday that’s okay too. Enjoy each day!

They’re going to tell you that you need kids in your old age. I’m old and no you don’t. Long term care insurance is much better.

Me and the wife don't want kids as we both have chronic illnesses. Life is generally good, we get to see our friends with children, and spoil the kids, and it works out well. Don't have children if you don't want to and don't let people try to Shane you into having them either

I never wanted kids, I told everyone I didn't want kids, ever. But then I suddenly did want kids. I'd spare you the story, but I think hormones also played a big part in my change of view. It's a very big change, from childless to suddenly becoming a parent. Almost my hole life is about being a parent. Money I earn, vacations I take, stuff I buy, the way I decorate my house, what I do with free (but also work) time, it's all adjusted to my kids. Some things slightly, some things majorly. And I do it with love and joy, because I love them with everything I've got. It's so much fun to see them growing up, learning things, exploring the world in their own way! On the other side it can also be hard, as a parent suddenly everywhere you look you see danger. Balancing your protective instinct with the fact they also need to learn things for themselves can be hard. Same as setting boundaries without being affected by their tears or screams. Every kid is different, which makes it fun and a challange at the same time. If you don't want kids and keep your freedom, just don't have kids. My eldest says she will never have kids. I tell her her opinion can change, but whatever she chooses, I will be totally fine as long nobody pressures her into anything.

Your life your choice simple. Just listen your heart n stick to it. There are pros n cons for every choice. But it's your choice that decides your life.

I'm 34, I'll be 35 next week. I was ten toes down when I was your age and I still am today. I can hardly take care of myself adequately, I can't imagine trying to take care of a kid too

My Wife and I decided that we didn't want any children whatsoever, so I had a vasectomy procedure done early last year. However, when I got home from the hospital after the operation, they were still there..

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The only person who can decide whether to have kids or not is you, and no one else. Have a happy life!

To start off. There's way more people that should not be having kids that already do. Ya hear about these nightmares all the time. People tape kids to their crib so they can go out and party. There's also a lot of people that would be great parents, but do not have kids. Me personally I love being a dad. Granted I only have 1 son. But he's a damn good reason to keep going in life. I'll have someone to pass the torch. But that's a cultural thing. Not all backgrounds have.

Nothing bad will happen to you if you don't have kids.

Me (32f) and my partner(30f) dont want kids. We have 2 amazing pups and honestly love it especially hearing takes from our peers who are parents. We are happy with our decision and have no plans to ever change our minds now or later on this subject. Very happy and content with our lives and decisions. It is obviously very good that as partners we are aligned so that both parties are fulfilled in regards to this topic.

I’m 25F too haha. I’ve been torn abt it for some time, bc I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but I hate the idea of bringing innocent lives into this garbage world we live in today. I already feel stressed and anxious for them. But I saw someone online say that there’s never been a “peaceful” time, the world has always had problems. And actually this time is better than in the past bc we’ve got stuff like women’s rights and better healthcare. It made me realize that there are always going to be things to stress about. I’d prefer to have kids and have them raised right, maybe they can have a part in making this world a better place. Lots of people with questionable morals are having kids, and we cant have them shaping future generations.

Prepare for tons of people to tell you, "You don't want kids?! You'll change your mind! I never wanted kids, because I'm too selfish but it amused me to no end that strangers seemed to know me better than I knew myself. I'm 40 and thankfully those comments have died out.

Good for you girl. I’m gonna be 32 in a few months and I still don’t want kids

Woman in my mid-40s, zero kids, zero regrets. Do what feels right to you. Do I care whether or not other people have kids? Not really, as long as they take proper care of them.

/r/Childfree might have some perspectives from that particular side of the camp. It's a big decision.

I’d rather someone say they don’t want kids and don’t have any than for someone to have kid(s) and abuse them.

Didn't want em when I was 20. Still don't want em at 46. My wife feels the same. My brother has 3. My friends all have kids. They are all tired, at their wit's end, worried, and some have confided that they regret it, even though they, of course, love them. You can't have everything in life. Meaning, you can't live the traditional 2.5 kids with a marriage life *and* live the child-free awesome life. So, just make sure not to buy into the whole 'oh, you'll feel different after you have them!' horseshit. And if one day you decide you *do* want to have kids, or via a surrogate, or adopt, then great, do it! But don't do it out of some sort of existential fear of loss of legacy or anything like that. Kids are great. They are funny. They are interesting. They can bring a lot of joy to one's life. But know this, life is also oh so f****** cool without kids and you don't owe anyone, or the world, your offspring. That's just weird.

Check out r/childfree and also r/regretfulparents. If you don't 100% want kids, you shouldn't have them.

Seems like it is your choice if you dont want then it is okay if you want then same i mean you are 25 capable to take decision and surely you know the consequences becoz parents not gonna like it and maybe your future husband or his family is same way react so you can see if u want or not that is upto you

Nothing wrong with not wanting nor having kids, your choice entirely. I felt the same at 25 and 35 and then at 42 changed my mind and I can't even tell you why I did. Now I have 1 kid (terrible teenager now) and my one regret in life is that I didn't do it sooner.

I‘d love to have children but we have problems due to a uterus anomaly. Personally i don‘t see much longterm goals beside kids. I mean sure you can travel more etc but missing out on seeing your own child grow up etc is somehow sad in my mind. On the other hand i clearly see the world in it‘s current state and do not find it a safe place. Capitalism everywhere, pressure on people, human values are less worth than ever in the last 80 years. Everyone gotta find his own purpose and way :)

I love my babies more than I ever thought possible. They’re still little but it’s incredible to have that close bond with another human and to watch them become whole people. It’s still mind blowing to me that they exist. It’s a love like no other you can experience in life. I’ve wanted children for ages because I have so much love inside me that I want to share. That being said, it’s also the hardest thing one can do. Kids require sacrifice, endless patience, but more than that, they force you to face your past and confront the pain your inner child still holds. It’s not for the weak and refusing to address these will just perpetuate the cycle of harm. You pass down every victory and failure down to another human regardless of your intentions or desires. I firmly believe that if you don’t think you’re up for the challenge, you shouldn’t have kids. Parenthood is both brutal and breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time.

acho que ter filhos faz parte de ter uma experiência de vida completa. A gente estuda, trabalha, namora, casa... Não acho que passar por todas essas experiências seja obrigatório, mas deve ser bom. Além disso, é interessante ensinar alguém a viver e acompanhar essa pessoa crescendo. Então, se eu fosse ter um filho seria por vontade própria, o motivo mais justo para mim mesma. Fodam-se as justificativas "altruístas", por exemplo, manter a economia ou aumentar o número de fiéis para alguma religião. É cada balela que inventam. Quero mais que as instituições se lasquem. Dito isso, não quero ter filhos.

I've known since I was 9 years old I never want kids (cuz that's when my period started and was explained that's what it's for lol) I'm 45 now and still feel exactly the same way and never had any regrets.

I personally don't ever want them because I don't want to pass down whatever is cursed with my genes. But if I had a partner who wanted kids I'd probably adopt

Similarly like you, I never had the feeling or urge to have kids. Some of my friends describe it as an undeniable desire from within to have kids, like this natural urge they can’t resist. They don’t have a logical reason for why they want it but just that they feel ready and it’s a natural thing to do for them. Sure I love children and I think my cousins are so sweet. But always I’m very happy that I’m not having to deal with the responsibility for their entire futures and life’s consequences and choices…. It makes me feel so relieved… Maybe I would like to have a daughter like the girl from that series Girlmore girls, but you literally have to be willing for any type of kid coming your way if you take the choice to have one because they could be disabled, psychopaths or get addicted and make poor life choices not having anything to do with you as parents and upbringing. But you will feel affected by them deeply anyways … Even when I was a kid and had babydolls I never felt like wanting a real baby for myself. This mindset never changed so I just decided it mustn’t happen for me in this lifetime

First of all I am not by any means trying to change your mind, I’m just sharing my personal experience. No kids life is great! I was convinced I didn’t want kids for all of my twenties. I had a great time, focused on my career, travelled a bunch, went out with friends whenever I pleased. 10/10 highly recommend at least waiting until you’ve had time to enjoy your youth. That said around 32-ish I started kind of wanting kids. I’m not sure why. I’d been with my husband for eight years by then so it’s not like anything had changed. I thought maybe it was a hormone thing and it would pass, but now I’m 34 and three months pregnant with my first. It was very planned and very wanted. I just kind of settled down and the things I wanted changed, I guess. That’s not guaranteed for everyone though. I have friends the same age and older who are still happily and intentionally child free. The mother/childfree split hasn’t effected our friend group, but that does take a level of mindfulness. My child free friends are living beautiful, fulfilling lives just as I am very happy to be expecting a child. My only advice is to be careful and give yourself room to assess and reassess your feelings over time and be content with changes, or in your feelings staying the same. Enjoy your 20s, build your life, see the world, fill your life with good people and let yourself figure things out year by year.

That depends on your worldview. When I was younger my belief was that I would be living my best life on my own, without dependents and that would allow my husband and I to travel and do the things we love without any obstacles. Now that I'm older I have travelled enough and tried many things and worked adequately, I think life has more meaning than this. Love is a big part of life, and without sacrifices and suffering the amount of love we give is limited. So this year I became more open to the idea of life. From love comes life, and from the love in a married relationship, creation of life is a natural next step.

I'm a woman, turning 58 soon. I never wanted to have children at your age, I never wanted to have my own children ever, and I can't have them now, the ship has sailed. I couldn't find a doctor that would tie my tubes when I was young, and I was a smoker so once I hit 35 they still wouldn't tie my tubes and yet they wouldn't prescribe birth control pills anymore, so every time there was sex in my life there was that everlasting fear of pregnancy. I think kids are a great promise to the future for people who want them and want to have families with children, but me and my mostly childless girlfriends are all OK with not having kids either as a conscious decision or as a thing that wound up happening. Don't do anything that you don't want to do. I found a dude who felt the same way and we've been together for well over 20 years. We haven't even gotten married but we are dedicated to each other. If you decide you want a life-long companion who loves you, find someone who feels the same way as you do about children. Best wishes to you, my young friend!

I’m 33F, and until very recently, I was exactly where you are. I’d built a life that I loved. One that involved many hobbies, a career, and the autonomy to navigate the world without having to worry about anyone’s needs but my own. I didn’t just "not want kids"; I hadn't planned for them at all. Then, last month, I took a trip to Japan with my husband. Prior to the trip I was having nosebleeds which I blamed on travel anxiety. I have a chronic condition and I thought that was acting up. It wasn't. I found out I was pregnant in a Japanese hospital. I’m terrified. I’m 100% scared of the responsibility, the physical toll on my body, and how this affects the independence I fought for with tooth and claw. I’m high risk and currently on bed rest, which is its own kind of mental test. But here’s the shift in perspective you asked for perhaps? Sometimes life makes a choice for you that you were too certain to make for yourself. For me, it came with this weird clarity too: I’m keeping this kid (if the pregnancy progresses). Not because I was convinced by a pro baby argument, but because I realized that my set in stone plan was based on a version of me that didn't know this version of the future existed. Still terrified tho!

I'm 45 f and I knew I never wanted kids from a young age and I never had kids. My husband of 12 years doesn't want kids either. So finding someone who felt the same way was a big step. I don't regret it. But the only thing I would tell a woman about, to warn her about. Is to know that you can have the surgery to become sterilized so you cannot get pregnant, but that doesn't stop the biological clock from ticking sometimes. It will make you feel emotional sometimes but if you truly don't want kids, it will never change your mind. I'm still traveling and enjoying the world and I love being able to just grab my purse and run out anytime I want.

If you want kids, use all means you have to get them. If you don't want kids, use all means you have to not get them. If you are not sure... don't have kids.

If I think about it rationally, kids are more messy, expensive and stressful than any other prospect i can think of. That rational approach might lead me to conclude that kids are not something that will benefit me. However, I think it's always important to balance up a rational take with deeper musings. For example - 1: I often imagine my ancestors. I imagine the line of my relatives that, logically, must go back all the way to the beginning of humanity. I think about all the struggles, the genetic attributes that forged the path to me over hundreds of thousands of years. It makes me sad to think I might be the one to end that line; that I'm the dead end. There's beauty that I feel compelled to pass on. 2 - I'm not sure if can imagine a purer expression of love than gazing into the eyes of a person that is a combination of you and your partner, and having those eyes gaze back, right onto your soul, with all the love and trust in the universe. Having kids isn't a practical decision, for me, it's a yearning that comes from beyond.

I was 100% against having kids for my whole life so I’m with you. I enjoyed my life and my hobbies and sports and my free time. I had a great life. In my early 40s I changed my mind - I still had sports and hobbies, still had a great life, but I had more money, more spare time, and perhaps a bit of need for meaning in my life or something like that? Having a kid then wouldn’t have been such a big sacrifice anymore. So we had a kid. I was mid 40s and my wife was early 40s. He’s wonderful. He’s great, I love him, I love the responsibility and the challenge of raising him to be a good person and the joy of sharing with him the stuff I love and supporting him in finding things he might love. I definitely prefer my life now, and wouldn’t trade my life with him for anything. But if we hadn’t had him our lives would have been great too. Your life can be great with or without a kid. If you never have a kid you’ll never know what it’s like so it’s not like you’ll really be “missing” it. BUT you’re 25 - you’re so young. You might change your mind. You might not. Just don’t make it your whole identity that you’re loud and proud childfree, because if you do change your mind, you don’t want to be too embarrassed or proud to just… change your mind.

If you really don't want kids make the commitment to get your tubes tied and stop thinking about kids.

I know people say kids are great and as a parent they are but they are also forever, unless you are willing to put them first then don't have kids. There are so many parents who don't, they still want to live as if they don't have any. If you feel you don't want them right now that's fine, go enjoy life, do the things you want to, save money or whatever you want. If you decide in the future you want kids then you can, and you won't feel you are missing out on life. But if you choose not to ever have kids then that's okay too, no one should have kids if they aren't 100% sure they want to spend the rest of their lives supporting and caring for those kids. And you do, because it's not only them, it's their kids etc.

Because I am a crisis foster parent for children up to 4 years old and been doing so for more than a decade, I can give a unique perspective on children. I fostered more than 20 children. Sometimes a few days/weeks/months. Some others for a few years, but always temporarily. And to me and for me, it’s the little children in their first three years of life are the absolute best. Like education and graduating advanced studies, will bring you in contact with and to new levels of society and people, as this is also the case with foster parenting. I see parts of society that most people never see but also stay in contact with people who are new parents. I keep experiencing the joy, the frustrations, the happiness, the innocence, the purity, the wonders of the world that children bring and come in contact with. And that is what makes me happy. I get to experience the world again through their eyes. I keep my soul young and engaged. It gives me meaning and purpose and I help those babies and children. In return I get unconditional and unlimited love and affection back. They show me the world is a beautiful and wonderful place. I have teens of my own and I get to teach them also how parenting works, for them later in life. My rewards are to know I make the world a little bit better, I help people, I get love and affection and see the beauty in the world. I was a wedding photographer and I then also get to have the nicest models ever.

I've seen people who didn't want children get talked into it or being put into this position by circumstances (e.g. adopting a dead relative's children). It did not make them suddenly want kids. It made them and the kids miserable. Think long and hard about this decision if you ever feel like changing your mind—not because no one could ever want children, but because not having kids should be the default unless you're incredibly certain you do want them. It's an enormous commitment. Also, the mother will sacrifice much more than the father.

27m, not interested in having kids either. Too expensive, too much of a hassle, and the world climate is not something I want them to grow up in right now

Sorry I can only agree. 28F and me and my husband stay kids free as well. We enjoy our freedom way too much to give it up and Im not sure if its a good idea to set kids into a world with its current future.

i don't want kids , it seems like an awful miserable existence. i see how my sister is with her kids and while she's an excellent mother , she also get burnt out and frustrated and her kids father isn't much of a help. Me personally i prefer quiet days, being gone all night with friends, sleeping in. i just couldn't imagine having to take care of gremlins when I'm hungover, sick, in a bad mood etc etc i don't have the patience, time or strength.

i have never wanted kids and i still don't. even if i did, i could never afford it.

I knew from earliest childhood I never wanted them and my opinion never changed. I am SO glad I never had kids. I have traveled the world and have been able to live my life exactly how I want without being tied down with rug rats. Don’t let anyone talk you into changing your mind. Get used to shutting the attempts down hard!

I want kids

A child you choose to have (emphasis on choose here as the conception might not have been planned but you chose to keep the child and chose to love the child), is one of the most beautiful, incomparable type of love and joy I have ever experienced. The type of love and joy I wish for all to experience in their life. Because I've lived the single life. I've lived the DINK life. Nothing comes close. To see your baby run up to you when you get home from work. To cuddle your baby in bed during bed time. To see your baby's excited face as they show you simple joys. Just like Grinch, my heart grew a few times larger the day my son was born. And I didn't know I could experience love and joy like this. I have no idea how to convey this feeling to you. All I can say is that, if reincarnation is real and I get to choose again, I will choose this life again so that I can be with my wife and son. If I'm sent back to the past with my current knowledge, I will relive my life exactly how it was, shitty though it may be, because that'd mean I get to see my wife and son again. That, is my perspective of having children, and no other relationship or material things in life can come close to compare.

If you’re 25 you don’t have „lots of time“?, depending on if you already have a partner, a stable income, a home that’s suitable, etc. You should decide in the next year or two and get to it . If it’s not a definite yes, then it’s probably better to not have kids. They require a lot of patience and sacrifice, but can bring a lot of joy, but the ratio is different for everyone and no one can choose for you. I recommend spending a lot of time (like a couple of full days) around people with young children and decide afterwards

I've met plenty of older women, who cried their eyes out because they didn't have kids and a partner and would die alone. That somehow became the biggest fear in their old age. It's worth taking into consideration, as is if you meet a good man who wants kids.