‘I came, I saw, I conquered:’ Trump set to claim victory in Iran at primetime address

> Loses war Trump: “Oh look we won! I love winning. Are you tired of winning?”

My father in law was spewing a bunch of maga c*** and none of it made any sense. Literally none of it. Him: "Democrats want us to be socialist" Me: "No, people are tired of being held below water with no way to get back up. They want their power back and to you that sounds like socialism when in fact it's democracy." *next dumb topic* Him: "I think I'm going to say I'm illegal so the government will take care of me" Me:"they don't get benefits and you're on social security" These morons will believe every word that comes out of Trump's puckered sphincter of a mouth.

What's that saying about not playing chess with a pigeon. Not matter what happens, they'll flip over the board, shit all over the place and strut around like they won.

And the people with IVs of Kool-Aid running into their veins will believe it.

Does Iran know that they lost?

So he wants to pull up markets one more time before crushing them over the weekend again. Got it.

Lol so there will be a pop in the market tomorrow and then when the reality of the situation sets in over the three day weekend, we’ll crash in Monday haha

If it means no more loss of American soldiers lives (or worse) then I'll take it. But this is something we should constantly be hammering him on.

Wouldn’t be surprised if Iran lights up a few ships in the Strait as Trump delusionaly claims victory. Bonus points if the media covers it split screen

"Victory"? lol. Launching hundreds of missiles from hundreds of missiles away. Big f****** deal. Now open the Strait, you f****** fat old sack of shit.

Does "Mission Accomplished" sound familiar?

Settle down Comodus.

Do they still have the "Mission Accomplished" banner in storage?

Great job Dingus Khan.

The Vietnam war strategy, declare victory and leave.

You claim victory, I claim victory, we all claim victory!

He's going to announce complete and total victory and along with the great victory comes the draft, you know, for future great victories.

We have always been at war with Oceania. We are at peace with Eurasia.

The man insists he beat Joe Biden. What else is he going to say?

I can’t wait to hear Iran’s response afterwards

Will the “Mission Accomplished “ banner be gold

He'll ramble about Biden or whatever for 20 minutes first. He couldn't sell this war to anyone, not even the maga freaks. It's not over; we'll be feeling the effects for decades.

I hope that everyone makes fun of him for saying he won. He didn't do regime change. The SON of the former leader is in charge. That's hardly regime change. He isn't going to open the Strait. It was totally OPEN before the war started and NOW it's not! He isn't going to get the nuclear material. So they can dig that out and start with 60% refined uranium. He hasn't struck a deal where they say they won't obtain a nuclear weapon (unlike the JCPOA which is scrapped). Iran is likely to charge a toll for going through the Strait. Gas prices are up over a dollar in the US. Anymore winning like this and we'll all be on the street.

"Mission Accomplished"

F***** can claim anything he wants, doesn't make it true. Maybe he should get "declaration" advice from Michael Scott.

"Mission Accomplished"

Whatever. Just go back to golfing so we can clean up your mess and then you can go shuffle your mortal coil and we can have a sigh of relief.

Veni, vidi, vamoosi!

How that Hormuz Chili doing for you Trump? Shitting your pants even harder because the world is pretty upset right now.

what did we win? We got some soldiers killed, we invaded a sovereign nation that wasn't a threat to us no matter how big of assholes their regime was...a regime that is still in power....and we murdered a lot of people including children....oh yeah and we pissed off the entire world by f****** over the global economy...and we spent billions upon billions of taxpayer money - our money - to do something that literally only made all of our lives objectively and measurably worse in every way. There is literally not a single minor thing you can point to here that is a win. taxpayers: the amount of OUR money Trump has literally stolen, gifted to himself, wasted on failed vengeance campaigns led by incompetent fools, or spent literally murdering people both abroad and domestically in just this term so far is astronomical. Only a complete fool could possibly be happy.

I don’t buy. Could be the ultimate April’s fools.

He basically delivered everything that Putin asked him. High oil price, showing the Middle East that US can't protect them and pissing off NATO allies.

What has he conquered exactly? Americans bank accounts?

He thinks we are all as gullible as he is! Don’t watch- ratings are something he cares about. They will have bots watching to juice the numbers.

How? "We have bombed all the girl primary schools and there are no more to bomb. We won."

Iran will troll and bomb stuff while he's talking. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Who cares what he might say? It's worthless.

What’s the under/over on a massive Iranian missile and drone barrage right when his bullshit address starts?

Hope he does it on an aircraft carrier with a big Mission Accomplished banner so we have fun pictures from this Middle East failure like we do from Iraq.

\*insert image of George Bush "Mission Accomplished"\*

He got everything he wanted: Higher oil prices for the EU, a excuse to lift sanctions on Russia, and an excuse to pull out of NATO so he can threaten the Western Hemipshere freely. You're the stupid ones if you seriously thought he cared about bringing democracy to Iran, or preventing nuclear weapons.