I think I’ve been more stressed than I realized

The other day I was brushing my dog. And the whole time I was doing it I was stressed about it, like I had to hurry through and get to the next thing. And then it suddenly dawned on me. WHAT next thing? I'm literally not doing anything. There is nothing in the world I have to do except brush this dog and have a nice moment with him. I have to remind myself of that often. Things feel like they "take long" but really... What are we trying to rush to go do? It's so much undue stress and anxiety.

I definitely do not underestimate it. A couple years ago I moved to another city in another state, I was all by myself and knew no one. I very quickly realized how that feeling of isolation translated into not feeling safe (everything being completely on me, no one nearby to turn to if I needed help, etc.) and that made me so anxious and stressed that I didn't sleep for about 2-3 days. Anywho I'm good now, but yeah.. I'll never underestimate how important the feeling of safety is again.

Yes I completely understand, even when all work is done , housework is done , my mind still finds something to be worried or considered about.

I lost my job 2 years ago. For 6 months after that, even after I got my job back I was always stressed. It took about 3 months of having my job back before I could relax and just believe my world was not about to fall apart any second.

Yep! For 23 years. It wasn’t until I got single and settled down that I was like “Wait! Is this what it feels like to not be in flight or fight every waking moment? Holy shit!”

Hooo baby. I am now on high-blood pressure medicine and an anti-anxiety. I told my doctor, like I need something so I don’t feel like punching people in the throat. My husband had been diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, I was already the organizer and paperwork person. Now I was organizing so many appointments at so many places and meds and insurance companies and bills. So that when I Was at the grocery store dealing with a normal grocery store annoyance I felt I was going to explode. And the I did. But only a little. I had nose bleeds. Like gushers. Over 20 minutes. Several Times a day. One was so bad, I googled how long before you go to urgent care or ER. I was already 5 minutes past that, so gave it some More time. Saw my PC a few days later and started down the find the right HBP Med. Relaxing is a conscious decision. Time, place, effort. I do ok for a few minutes. I am still working on the in the moment relaxation steps. And I remind myself I don’t have it as bad as others. I just really suck at chilling. That’s why my husband is such a perfect match. He’s awesome at chilling. He’s my rock. But now he’s my rock I have to worry about. Stress is very real. It is very damaging. I’m glad you are recognizing it, and, more importantly, doing something about it.

Yes, but I found for me cutting screen time so I wasn’t doom scrolling, checking news or social media helped. Real weird when you think about it

Calm is something you absolutely have to create, it's not there by default. Modernity has not created a world where you will feel calm and relaxed by default - if anything there are more stressors and more pressure to fit more into your time. I think a very longstanding human challenge is finding calm and protecting it from everything else in life which is trying to disrupt it. The world has managed to plant brainworms in us which disrupt from the inside, on top of all the external disruptions.

occured to me too (the resting but not resting - weird)

Not really! I have a huge support network and my family and friends feel like the best safety net ❤️

Yes, sometimes I can do it, but sometimes it's hard. But calm is.

I think it's very common. You really don't realize it because it come on slowly. I think a hike or a walk around town is a good way to gain perspective.

Take a break have some vacation or a beer

oh wow. this is me. i never feel relaxed. even when i’m kicked back on the couch watching a show and logically know everything is okay.