If you absolutely had to have a tail but it could be any kind of tail you wanted, what kind of tail would you choose and why?

Don't really care as long as it is prehensile - I only have one working arm so it'd come in useful!

Marsupilami - if I have to have a tail I want to go all out

A small one like from a bunny or hamster that won't bother me when I'm wearing pants or sitting or whatnot

Fox tails are definitely the best. Soft, fluffy. You can use it as a cushion or to keep yourself warm.

Stegosaurus

Monkey tail 🐒 but it must be proportional to my body so I can use it to hang and climb

I think it'd be cool to have like a beaver tail so I could swim faster

Yeah, a kangaroo tail that can act like a third leg.

Prehensile. I want a tail that’s useful.

Tigger’s tail, duh.

I'd want a tail with a club at the end like an ankylosaurus

Peacock. Go big or go home.

Octopus limb. Strong, prehensile, and grippy, but easily folded because it's boneless. Plus it comes with its own brain, so keeping it under control wouldn't be too much of a burden on my primary brain.

I want Mario's Tanuki tail

Scorpion

If I had a prehensile fox tail about 3 foot long and very bushy, I could tuck it between my legs and use it as my entire outfit. I would dye it different colors for different occasions and at night, I could use it to brush my teeth while I juggle.

Squirrel - built in nap blanket

I think I’d want something that feels cohesive with how much proportional vertebrae it would take up. I’d like it to be balance assisting and mildly prehensile, like it would be cool if I could loop it around my kiddo to pick them up. I think it feeling sort of monkey like would make the most sense for the human body plan. Now, I would like to make a few other modifications to go with it, if possible, I’d like my hips to be better aligned for a sloped quadrupedal gait, with slightly longer arms and shorter legs. I think this would make this most useful and satisfying.

Kitsune, then it's fly by butt to all my destinations like Tails. Most people just poop out of their butt but I could fly with mine. Heck, I could fly and poop to save time on the work commute.

Cats tail as long as I am also as agile as a cat and therefore can cover my eyes with it when I sleep. Actually can I just be a cat please

I would rock the skunk tail

Cat tail. Something long and thin enough that I could fidget with it when my hands need something to do but sleek and unobstructive enough to not always be in the way

Very long flexible but big at the base. I played a dragon in a local play once, and had this wonderful big tale. I could sit on it like a seat, I could knock stuff around, and push people with it, I absolutely loved it. It's probably good I don't have one for real.

Prehensile

I'll take the kangaroo tail! Built in seat.

Tigger

A dino tail with a thagomizer.

Snow leopard tail. A built in duvet.

Yooooooo I want the Pokémon Ninetails tail. I would dye it to match my hair color. It would look siiick.

Lion. Fun fact: the tuft on the end is also a toy for the cubs to play with. My cats would LOVE me.

the classic "devil" tail I think with the little arrow end. probably black and not red though. it's cute and I wouldn't have to worry about grooming it as much as a fluffy one

I'd like a tail I could grab things with and hang from. I feel like it would be fun and useful.

A beautiful long black horse tail. Elegant, easy to arrange through pants, and I could flick the 💩 outta any fly that dares come near!! Plus, it'll be really cute when I run 😁

water activated mermaid tail, why?

Some kind of long prehensile draconic tail with spines and a sharp s**** at the end. I would have special bangles made to wear on it. I want it to be useful yet intimidating to match my style lol

I’d have a Tigger tail, good for bouncing, good for sitting on (like a tripod) and weighty enough to smack people with.

Biggest thickest fluffiest tail so I can wrap it around me to keep warm, use as a seat, I could snuggle in for a little nap. Also, as i wiggle it it would cause enough draft to cool me in summer.

I'd be ok being tailed by most security organizations, I'd be uncomfortable with any private organizations following me around.

Spider monkey tail. Use it for hanging atound and shoplifting. Or platypus tail so I could swim faster.

Orca. I [27 y/o] have had an undying fascination for orcas since I was a kid (ironically after watching Blackfish for the first time).. maybe someday I'll be able to go back to Seaworld for the first time in a decade+.. good times.~

Racoon tail

Rat tail. Just love rats and would love that connection

There are these odd recurring things in my dreams like this. Largely inconsequential in context. But I often have a very prehensile furry tail. Like, back when I was in orchestra. Sometimes I'd have an anxiety dream before a performance. And the dream would mostly be about getting the harder parts right. But, incidentally, we'd all use our tails to turn the pages of the music. People also often have counter shading. Stuff like that.

Fishtail. Specifically, mermaid in style. I already have an artificial one and it makes me *far* more functional in the water than I am on land, so I wouldn't mind making it permanent. (I have mobility issues on land.)

Andalite

Horse tail so I can wave ppl away when they get to close to me

I would want a prehensile tail; it would be like having a third hand.

Nightcrawler's tail from X-Men. Another functional appendage would be nice.

A prehensile tail so I could grab stuff and just hang around.

Proportionally large Squirrel tail

I think I'm in a mood today because immediately I decided a Pitt Bull tail so when people pissed me off I could pretend to be super happy and break their knees with my wagging tail :D

A bunny tail. It's fluffy. Would get caught anywhere

A ninetails tail so I could be the most glorious weeb ever.

Does an elephant trunk count? If yes then I want that one.

Definitely a cat tail. You could communicate so much just with body language. Plus imagine how useful it would be for balance. I'd be climbing everything.

def cat tail because they express so much. tail down = okay let’s leave her alone for the time being. tail straight up = she wants to hang out. swishy tail = play time. so easy

This is something I’ve devoted more thought to than I care to admit. And I can’t thing more glorious tail than a humansized red squirrel-tail. To snuggle up with, wrap around my neck on a cold day, flirt with. The possibilities are endless.

Xenomorph! Stabby AND slicey!

Big fluffy Persian cat tail!

Just came here to say I used to b locked up with a woman who has a 3inch long tail she could wiggle

I'd choose a sturdy prehensile tail. That would be incredibly useful.

Striped hyena tail. They’re so cute and fluffy but not too long to be inconvenient. Id also get the awesome spiky Mohawk back stripe they have and exclusively wear open back shirts to show it off. They’re such pretty animals :3

When I was very young, I wanted to have a tail, for a long while, it was a great thing to pretend!

Just not one of those 360 degree spinning poop flinging ones from a hippo. Yucko

Prehensile! The places that it could go...

Kangaroos tail 🦘 Because to stand up right they lean back on it which keeps them steady, so I could basically have my own seat wherever I go.

squirrel - they look fluffy

A golden retriever tail with all the feathers that I could whip in the wind to show you how happy I am!!! 😃 

Clouded leopard tail. Long, warm, fluffy, beautiful, and I could carry it in my mouth for comfort.

Peacock bc it’s pretty.

Fox

Probably a strong prehensile tail, like an Oppossum’s or Pangolin’s. Kangaroo tail could also be useful. I think that a Snow Leopard, Marbled Cat, or Clouded Leopard tail would definitely be my top pick if it were just for the looks. But having a strong tail sounds like it’d be more fun and useful! So it’s a hard choice lol

Something prehensile would be pretty sick.

I want a monkey tail. I could hang from trees and stretch out my back like an inversion table. I could use it as a third hand — especially to hold things in place while I use the other two hands to work on it.

Prehensile tail that I can coil into a spring to bounce around. It will have a retractable hand. It can light up and change colors like a pixel whip, for dancing, playing with, and making light shows.

Prehensile.

A kangaroo tail so I could bounce around n shit

Prehensile!

Kangaroo would be badass.

I thought you meant feds lol

Peacock, obviously.

I love fox tails they are so pretty but on the other hand, maybe a tail with spikes for protection??

Related: Jay Mohr on Christopher Walken’s musings about having a tail https://youtu.be/lFgITnZcjNI?si=y9k91NEnim5jH1Af

obviously a monkey tail, reclaim what was once ours

Ankylosaurus tail for whacking folks with.

I mean it has to be monkey tail, right? It seems most functional. Alligator tails or kangaroo tails seem too big amd bulky to be practical for a human. Giraffe tails are pretty much just for show. So monkey?

I’d pick a **prehensile monkey tail**. Basically a third arm: hold my phone, groceries, snacks, maybe even shake hands while it’s holding a drink. Function > fashion.

Just one that I have remote control over! I enjoy climbing so that might help!

I have been thinking about making myself a tail for some time now. I spend a lot of time home alone with my dog and I think it would be a great communication aid. Happy wagging, drooping sad, curled up alert. I think she would love it. Just haven't worked out a mechanism yet.

Big fluffy one that I can curl in.

A prehensile tail. A fifth appendage would be cool AF.

One like Avitars, Marsupials, Cats

Prehensile

Prehensile, though I've always been jealous of my German Shepherd. Not sure why, precisely, but have always thought it would cool to have one.

Spider monkey - strong and prehensile.

While fluffy tails would be fun, a prehensile tail that could support my weight would actually be useful.

The kind that monkeys hang from. It just seems fun

A really really long one so I can use it like lasso

I’m going to use this as a conversation starter! My husband would want a white tail, like a deer. I want a monkey tail that I can use to hang from limbs.

Prehensile tiefling tail

Cat tail. My cat does so much communicating with that thing! Plus I have chronic conditions that make balance hard.

Dachshund tail

A docked tail. It's more hygienic and a predator can't grab me by it.

Cougar, because I like cats and it's flexible enough it wouldn't make using the toilet to complicated. I'm guessing toilets would look a lot different if humans had tails

Prehensile

Does a mermaid/selkie tail that only shows up in the water count? If so I am 1000% picking that (if I can choose the color, seal tail please :3) Otherwise some sort of prehensile tail, like a monkey or sth

Definitely a snow leopard tail.

Monkey tail. Its strong, strong enough to hold up my entire body weight. And it's around 2 1/2 feet long

A skunk like tail! The girl skunk in Disney's Bambi wrapping herself in it and coyly hiding behind it is peak flirty and shy!

A peacock's! If you have one, you might as well show it off!

A monkey tail that i can hang by and stuff but with fur like a cat.

Always wanted a cat tail. Flexible, agile, helps balancing, soft fur... Purrfect.

Beaver!

Puma or bunny.

It'd be around a foot and a half long, with more fur at the end, orange, waggy but not really prehensile. Doesn't everyone think in depth about what tail they would have? /s

Possum or monkey. Something prehensile. Maybe an iguana tail for self defense.

A big fluffy one that I can snuggle with.

Fluffy fox tail

One that could grab stuff.

I have a toddler and has weirdly thought about this before LMFAO. definitely like a bushy raccoon kinda tail

Dragon tail that shoots fire and comets...and laser. Pew pew

Cat or horse. I want form over function.

monkey tail like a saiyan just need to... not look at the moon

Haven’t seen a chameleon mentioned yet, but they have prehensile tails that can support their body weight and then you have the cool color changing aspect, presumably(?)

is it to scale? like if i choose a squirrel tail will it be to scale for a human or a tiny squirrel tail

A beagle tail. Because I'd like to be reminded about my dearly departed beagle.

I’d want a tail like a snow leopard!

Scorpion. I can't believe nobody else picked this. It's shiny. Nobody's going to crowd you on the subway.

Soft white fox tail🥰✨

Saiyan tail

I would choose a tail like my Fox Face Pomeranian dog so we could be twinsies.

Iguana tail so I can whip stupid ppl with it

Rattlesnake. It ensures me a good amount of personal space.

Ankylosaurus Why? \[aluminum baseball bat noise\]

A fox tail. Soft, elegant… and just enough to make people wonder what I’m thinking.