If you could have a 30-minute conversation with anyone you've lost, but you couldn't tell them they're dead in the future, what would you talk about?

My best friend and I talked the day before she died. She said, “It’s so weird. It’s likely life is divided into two distinct parts: one before you and one after you. I know I had a life before you, but I can’t remember what it was like. It must have been dull.” I said, “Same. I can’t imagine having a life without you. I’m so glad we’re friends.” She was so intertwined in every aspect of my life. That night, she went to bed with a migraine. She combined Ambien with an opioid and didn’t wake up. I would spend the 30 minutes telling her just how much she meant to me, even though I already told her. I just miss her so f****** much.

I wouldn't talk about anything 'big.' I’d just want to sit on the porch with my grandad again and talk about the garden or what he’s planning to cook for dinner. It’s the mundane, everyday stuff you miss the most once it’s gone.

Just to talk about memories to hear it from their perspective 1 last time.

I would just cry and hug them like crazy.

I'd tell him not to be ashamed of having AIDS and that he was a beacon of light to so many of us. He knew he was going to die, we didn't.  F*** I miss you so much Will.

My husband of 31 years that I lost in 2020 to Covid. We never got to say our goodbyes properly. I would just love to tell him one last time how much I love him and, how much he means to me. I would like for our children to tell him he was such a great dad, and to hug his grandchildren one more time. He was a very special man, and his death was so tragic. He went into the hospital alone, as we weren't allowed to go in with him because of quarantine. We couldn't communicate well due to the hospital's terrible wifi. He fell quite ill and no longer able to communicate. I could only communicate with the nurses, and God love them... they were so busy. After I tested negative and he was no longer contagious, I was finally able to go to the hospital. But at that point he wasn't able to communicate and was not conscious. He woke long enough to get agitated that he couldn't speak, and I finally realized why. I asked him if he was trying to say he loved me, and he shook his head yes. I said and the kids too. Again he shook his head yes. Then he closed his eyes again. That was only a couple days before he passed. He suffered for about 5 weeks before he passed. It was horrid. I think he took every ounce of what he had left to tell me he loved me, because he knew he didn't have long. He passed on my daughter's birthday.

I’d find a way to tell him about my “friend” who had chest pain at 29, and died 2 days before the cardio appointment… so that when his chest started hurting at 29, he went to the ER instead of scheduling an apt that never came because he died

I would tell my mom how much she means to me, how blessed I am to have had her as my mom, tell her how much I love and appreciate her. I would also hug her like crazy. I miss her so much.

How awesome their kid is

I would use those 30 minutes with my late dad to stress the importance of him getting a will sorted.

I would pet him and hug him, and tell him he was the best kitty. Then I'd watch him purr himself to sleep in my lap.

nothing, Id just have my dad hold me for 30 minutes but internally try to savor all of it and ration it for the rest of my life.

I’d start a conversation about forgetting the future and could he play something on the 12- string and pass me a beer.

tell her how much i love her and how badly her brother misses her.

With my grandpa, probably joke about the state of the world (he lives cynical humor), chat music tastes, and probably discuss memories

I would ask them if they ever thought about drinking less.

I'd probably just listen. The fragile uniqueness of a person's mind is hard to notice until you're a bit older.

I suppose I’d ask my great grandfather about his experiences in WWII. He died in 2015, and I was too young and self centered to really pay attention. He worked hard his entire life, and he was a truly fascinating man. I’m even named after him, so it’s a great regret in my life that I didn’t know him better.

I would tell my ex that it is not our choice it just is. I would have chance to be with her now. There was a accident in my past where I hit my head hard. I don't have all the memories of what happened and some of the memories I do have may have been dreams. It has been strange remembering one thing and being told by my family a different thing happened.  I remember telling her that we are not meant to be together. I probably wouldn't recover or be the same person. She should move on. It was mean for me to say but I love her and didn't want her to be stuck with me. A different memory is she told me that she couldn't do it. I wasn't the same person. She needs to move on. If I told her that then maybe both memories could be the same and I could find her again.

Lost my mom, best friend and grandpa the with months of difference…. I would tell them how i much i care for them even if i never show it because i hate being emotional

>If you could have a 30-minute conversation with anyone you've lost What if they werent lost? Before my mom passed she lost alot of her hearing, and it was really hard to realize that loss of communication... no longer being able to tell her about my promotion, or a hard day at work, a vacation I took and the places I saw... it was very heartbreaking. After she was gone I found out about legacy writers "Legacy writing is **a way of documenting your life experiences, values, and opinions to share with others**." I'd love to know things like when she met my dad.... what her father thought of that, what she wanted to be when she grew up, so many questions and conversations that didn't happen. Don't wait for the conversations. I'm going to work on everything I remember to pass on to my daughter, so she knows her grandmother didn't like purple... and all the other stuff I can remember. Don't wait.

i'd just want to catch up on all the little things we missed, like all the inside jokes and stories that never got told. the big stuff is cool, but man, it’s those everyday moments that really hit different.

My nana

If you don’t tell them they are dead, how can you talk about stuff? My mum died when my oldest was a toddler and I’d want to talk to her about my children, but then she would know she was dead because she didn’t know them.

I’d take with my grandmother about my kids, my husband and about dogs. My dog would probably be right there lying on her feet, because she was sort of person dogs spontaneously loved.

I’d just let my dad talk. About his garden, the neighbors he hated, the birdhouse he was planning to build—anything. I spent so many years nodding along while checking my phone, not realizing that his "boring" stories were actually the soundtrack of my life. I wouldn't say a word. I’d just listen until the timer hit zero.

Id let my best friend talk about whatever he wanted

My dad. I would talk to him about whatever he wanted to talk about. Just seeing him & talking to him again would be amazing

I’d tell them how much they mean to me, how grateful I am for them, and how much they helped me grow as a person. And I’d try really hard to say this with sincere, vulnerable emotion and not say it flippantly or make a joke like I alway would and now wish I didn’t. I’d tell them for real and make sure they knew.

It would just be me yelling at my dad for 30 minutes.

I wouldn’t even have to talk. I just want to hug my grandma one last time.

That conversation is going to be 30 minutes of them trying to figure out how they are alive again.

I’d talk to my cousin who was a drummer and just talk our lives along with family.

Would just hug my mum for 30 minutes straight.

How much I love him and have loved him.

I’d talk to my great grandpa again to hear and maybe record some more stories

I'd see my grandma and give her the chance to hold my baby. She wasn't able to physically hold her and could barely open her eyes by the time we made it to see her before she passed. Not quite words, but it'd be my biggest wish

My grandma. She passed Friday night. I would just talk about how excited I am to speak at graduation, maybe the prom dress I just got, or even how excited I am for college . I just want her to know I’ll be okay, and that I’m gonna work really hard for a good job and future.

My mom and dad divorced before my 2nd birthday. Mom and I moved across the country not too long after, and I would only seen him one or two times per year. He died when I was eight. I would just like to sit and listen to him tell some of the stories of his life. To get to know him as a man instead of this childhood idealization of how he was.

I'd ask her to talk about one of her recipes she'd meant to teach me but we never got to. (I was only 19 when she died) One of my fondest memories is when she shared the 100ish year old carrot cake family recipe and we talked about who passed it to her and how she changed it a little bit to reflect that "carrots are different these days" and "The recipe from your grandmother (that was my mom's mother-in-law) calls for walnuts but I don't like walnuts so I switched it for pecans" I'm so glad I know the history behind that cake recipe. I want another conversation like that. Also her chicken fried steak was the bomb and I've never had its equal so I wanna know how to make it.

I’d have a 30 minute conversation with my mom about my kids. She died when they were 3 and 1.5. They’re teens now and I just want to tell her about what they’re up to.

I recently found out that my family qualifies for citizenship of another country by descent, and I think my grandfather would think it was pretty cool that we’ve learned so much about his grandparents so we could talk about that.

Not exactly what you're asking because I have lost them but they're not dead, but I'd tell them that they mean a lot to me and maybe just chat about whatever for the entire conversation. I never actually got to say goodbye to that group of people and there won't be a chance to now, especially the person who brought us all together. She wasn't doing well mentally the last time we all spoke and I just hope she's okay. She would always say that she didn't intend on living to 30, but she's 31 now and I only hope that things have gotten better

I would want to ask my dad why his pride was so much more important to him than acknowledging the harm he did and trying to rebuild a relationship with me.

My grandfather lost an eye during WW2. He died when I was 5. I'd probably ask him about the war

I would talk to my grandmother about football. She was a distant woman, loving in her own way that I was definitely too young and frankly self absorbed to understand. (Although traits I share, ironically enough.) She was brilliant, kind, generous, and she adored football. She met my now husband twice. Once at the wedding and once before. They spoke about football and she clearly adored him, so much so, she hugged him. This was unheard of. I have never wanted to understand something more. Nowadays I watch women's football as a way to remember her.

It's hard to say to pick nust one. My grandpa passed in 1986 and Grandma in 2005. I mostly would like to ask more questions about their youth and listen to their stories, or even sit quietly with them in companionable silence, cross-stitching or playing cards with Grandma, or hanging out with Grandpa 5aking a boat ride or even just listening to old records together as he sits in his favorite chair. Alternatively, I would also be over the moon to see my favorite teacher/high school mentor who passed in 2006. She was an amazing and special woman. Granted it would be extremely difficult not to speak about their passing. I'm not sure I could keep it quiet. I suppose it would depend on their demeanor and how aware they are, such as would they notice and question that I've aged considerably since seeing them last? It would be difficult to tell them about all the things in my life since I last saw them. It would be so hard not to get emotional and tell them how much I miss them. Oh and also, John Lennon and/or Steve Irwin. 🙂

Pretty much anyone I lost, just to have small talk with them.

I would grill my dad about his military, post-military and "occult" experiences.

Whatever they wanted to talk about. Just to hear their voice again would be everything.

30 min is not enough time. 4 of the 5 knew the end was coming, 1 was unexpected. Most have been gone for several years so they would know something was different.

I.... don't think that I could do this. I would probably just cry and refuse to leave after the 30 minutes. I miss my little brother. It'll be 17 years in a few months. I miss you Matt.

Why he lives so careless and reckless is something I’d definitely talk about. That was my best friend from high school. He died in a motorcycle accident right after our senior year. We called him “ play too much “ as a nick name for always messing around.

Ask my Grandma to show. me how to make her custard filled pastries that were the BEST ever. Lost recipe. Love and miss her

I'd give anything to talk my girlfriend one more time. Car accidents, man.

The past

My mom She died a year ago. Suddenly. I rushed her into hospital and she died after 2.5 months in intensive care. Never saw it coming. Still think about her daily and miss her dearly. She was my only close family. I'm worried if I was a good son, if she missed anything in life that I could have provided, was she happy last years of her life. She was sick most of my life but she recovered, but I guess the illness took her toll and nobody told us it could happen so suddenly. She was kind to a fault, she would help people even if it meant harm to her. And people abused her kindness. I felt like I was her protector later in life. I just hope I did a good job and that she got to enjoy the last years of her life in retirement without any stress and worry. Because she deserved it after a very hard life. Love you mom, I miss you very much.

My dad died when I was a kid. I’m now in my 50s with children of my own. I just like to talk about parenthood.

I would relive reading Matilda to my brother up in the maple tree in the front yard on the perfect branch with pillows. He was 7 years younger than me and died a year and a half and change at 37 from a stroke in his sleep. I miss his laugh and that we were repairing our relationship. Also, to tell him I lied while playing Marco Polo, because I really was “fish out of water.” 🫶🏻🏳️‍🌈🥰 I wish I could tell my daughter I’m sorry for the accident. She deserved to live longer than 23 minutes.

My brother in law drowned to death about 10 years ago. I'd talk to him and let him know how important he is to me. My sister is 10 years older than me and they met was I was around 12. He taught me how to drive a standard among other things. Miss him lots.

I would like to visit my papa again. I'd ask him a few things. First, tell me more about him, his past, and his dreams - he did big things and was different from others, I'd like to know about things he planned to do and ideas he had. Then, I'd like to ask him to tell me some things I need to learn in life, he was an intelligent, capable, and self reliant person and I would've loved to learn from him for a lifetime. Last, if given the time, I'd hope to talk about how impactful he was in my life and how so many years later, I still think of him, measure myself against him, and strive to be like him. To end the convo, a great big giant hug. I'll try to hide the tears, and if not, I'll truthfully say they are full of joy. He was a good person and planted the seed of something good inside of me. I'm thankful for it everyday.

I would just tell him how much he means to me and that he was the best teacher I could have ever asked for.

My sister died at 39. I'd ask more about the pain she was in but hiding.

I'd ask my granddad about his poetry. He wrote it on the backs of envelopes and receipts for his whole life, read them aloud to people, and yet never talked about what he loved about it or how it made him feel to have people praise it. It was just a thing he did. I'd like to know how it was a part of his life and not just something he produced.

Ask my dad what happened and why he treated my mom like that and why he didn’t want to see me grow as a man He overdosed on speedball or threw himself off a bridge by Fashion Valley mall in San Diego in the early 2000’s at 35 ish years old Wish I was old enough at the time to tell him he still had life and was a beautiful man I was only 10 at the time though and felt him on my shoulder as an angel at his funeral I’m 35 now and would bro out with him about things if I could We played Bob Marley - Legend at his funeral He was a well known surfer in La Jolla RIP Guy Millot I miss you always and navigate our struggles together and continue to grow for both of us

one of my best friends from high school. we ended up growing apart when i went off to college, and our paths kind of diverged. it was always in the back of my mind that i wanted to catch back up and play dnd with our old party. he died in a car accident last year i think if i could i'd just want to play dnd with our friends again, watch movies, and have a sleepover

My grandpa. He was born in 1910 and died in the 80s when I was like 12. I wanna hear all about what it was like growing up back then and his time in the Navy

I’d just talk about my day. Nothing special, just the mundane stuff — what I had for breakfast, a joke I heard, or how the weather is. I’d spend those 30 minutes just listening to their voice and their laugh one last time. Sometimes the 'secret' to a good conversation isn't what you say, but just being there.

I already have deep regret that I was not able to be with my mom in her final lucid moments and the overall traumatic, fast way she passed that I think about this "what if" constantly. I just want to TALK to her again. Tell her I love her, ask her about her life. All the things that I now think about as a mom myself that I would have appreciated her insight on. I miss you Mommy. 

I’d tell my mom all about her grandchildren and ask her if I was that big a pain in the ass as a kid

I'd just want to talk to my aunt again and tell homer how much she saves me from my own self slipping into the actions of my birth mom. How much she inspired me to choose kindness. And if it's ok I could call her mom instead

I would love to talk to my mom again after 21 years of her being gone and I'd ask her everything I now wish I had known about her.

My best buddy died in a motorcycle accident. If I could talk with him for 30 minutes, I would talk about how much he means to me and about how much fun we had since the first grade. I might also tell him I love him but he would laugh at that. This is a sad exercise.

I’d like to know what my grandmother’s dreams were. She never had much autonomy in her life and I wonder what her younger self hoped for her future if she even had much. She grew up during World War II so things were grim. I feel like she spent most of her life doing what was expected of her. I realised as an adult I never really got to know her. I think about her everyday and I *really* hope I get to meet her again.

I would tell them that me and his dad are still together after losing him and that he is so missed by the whole family and that we love you so very much and it’s so hard for your dad

I'd just shoot the shit with my mom for 30 minutes. I don't miss talking about the serious stuff with her, I miss talking with her about silly things and cracking dumb jokes. She always knew exactly what to say to get me to laugh and relax. And I would also tell her all about my nephew that she never got to meet and I'd make sure she knows how much I love her.

Id tell my step dad that I tried my best.

I’d listen to my mom talk about her flowers. And spend time in the garden with her. RIP mom 11/1/2008 wish you could see my beautiful family.

I would ask my dad to tell me about some of his life experiences and I would just listen.

I’d sit there with my dog, pet him, rub his ears, scratch the spot between his eyes, scratch his belly, smack his butt and tell him he’s a good boy for 30 minutes straight.