If you woke up a billionaire tomorrow.. What's the 1st thing you'd do?

I'd refer back to that excellent post about winning large sums of money,  and keep it to myself until I had all of the preparation set up to use it. 

Check the value of the currency I have billions in

Immediately out myself by buying a tub of Kerrygold rather than Dairygold.

If I woke up a billionaire tomorrow… I would probably apologise to that person for waking them up

Sleep in

I'd go into work and pay all of my coworkers $1,000,000 to quit on the spot to absolutely f*** management over.

Assume something had gone horribly wrong

Literally drop off the face of the earth. Vanish like I never existed

The same thing I do every morning: try to take over the world.

A friend of mine recently got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, he has 2 young kids and a wife. So the first thing I'd do if pay off his mortgage and have them both quit their jobs so they can spend as much time together as they can. I'd take care of everything and set up some kind of trust for his wife and kids.

Scream from the top of my lungs, "What's going on?"

Buy land and build houses for me and my close friends/family to all live right next to each other

Go back to bed I’m too rich for this shit

Quit my job

Start making doctors appointments because I can finally afford medical care

Buy LinkedIn and shut it down.

1. Pay off all of my immediate family's bills and student loans (mine were discharged last year!). 2. Buy my wife a modest house with a pool. 3. Squirrel away a few million for the future. 4. Trusts for our two young sons for their future education and/or endeavors. 5. Keep working at my own law firm and no longer charge clients. I'd take on the craziest criminal and civil rights cases Pro Bono. I'd hire some people and really push to become a leading firm that helps people for that purpose. No fees. No charges. Team up with the Innocence Project. 6. Travel with my wife a few times per year, family a few times per year. 7. Create a modest monthly budget that wouldn't allow us to fall into high revolving debt. 8. Randomly go around and putting money into forgotten projects to benefit mankind. Ya know altruistic things like that. Edit: 9. Start a Super PAC that heavily pushes to get rid of Citizens United, to codify Roe v Wade, to introduce term limits for Congress, to return taxes to FDR like times. There's a lot the more I think about stuff!

do good with it. i wish I had that kind of money to be a philanthropist. Take what I need to make my family comfortable, and just spread goodness.

Get up from bed and have a pee. Even billionaires have to pee.

Have a cup of coffee.

Delete LinkedIn forever

Fill up my tank

My first move isn’t anything flashy… I’m locking everything down.. lawyer, accountant, investments, trusts.. making sure the money lasts and grows. Then I’d take a step back somewhere peaceful, reset and move smart. I’ll donate to charities. After that yeah I’ll enjoy it… but quietly

2 chicks at the same time

Start training to be Batman.

Probably call my psychiatrist thinking I was having a manic episode.

Go to sleep again coz I must be dreaming 😭

setting up meetings with financial advisors and bankers. after all that is done with, I imagine at least a week before I can start spending, I'd resume my search to buy a home but things would be very different now.

Make sure the process of making me rich included paying off the Taxes owed. Do ***NOT*** want to end up being hounded by the IRS

Donate a few million to local food banks, and international charities. If that sounds generous, remember that it's only a few million and I have at least a billion.

Build homes non-profit

Work out how I can best give it all away. Maybe keep a million for me to live off but the rest is going to make the world a better place. No one needs a billion anything.

Buy citizenship in another country

1. Pay off everyone's medical bills in as many hospitals I could find. 2. Sprinkle it around to as many extended family members I could find. 3. Donate at least $500,000,000 to medical research and sick kids on gofundme (would just scroll down the list and start dropping $200K a pop or something for a few hundred pages lol. 4. Buy a small plane and Bugatti Chiron hypercar. 5. I'd be satisfied in only having $10,000,000 left over (no kids so don't have to worry about generational wealth).

Buy my niece a wheelchair accessible van.

Disappear my family, use the remaining wealth to undermine the other billionaires in the world, destroying their wealth, bringing about their downfall, and redistributing the money back to the people. If i fail, I disappear myself to some tropical island and just live the rest of my days in paranoid solace. If I’m successful, I disappear myself to the mountains and live out the rest of my days satisfied and finally at peace with myself.

Donate 990 Million to SO many places.

Use the wealth to create a coalition of worker coops to usurp mega corporate holds on different industries, with conditions that if they try to go public they have to pay back every dollar I invested 10 fold so it destroys the company. Basically, I would set up a wide range of competitors so I can make money, pay people right and by not being publicly traded that fiduciary duty enshittification does not happen. Since no shareholders, or endless enshittification or corner cutting to pad profits for the owner class, that massive waste can instead be used to pad employee wages and keep costs competitive. That way we are cheaper, higher quality, and people love working for us. Usually families sell out and go public but with those contingencies and doing it as a business alliance I can weaponize end stage capitalism against itself. Then using the money I would get involved with politics and bribe oh I mean lobby, to reverse the interpretation of fiduciary duty. I would spend money on research to prove long term investments, and investing in employees and doing the opposite of enshittification is actually the real fiduciary duty. Then I would invest in all those public companies and when they keep enshittification I sue them as a shareholder for failing to carry out their fiduciary duty. Keep repeating this so I can weaponize the economic rigging against the owner class instead.

Become a millionaire

I can tell you what i wouldn't do....work

Yell “Surprise!” at him and watch him have a panic attack.

Buy the Pizza Hut that laid me off as a delivery driver and close it down. 

Buy my friends houses, donate to cancer research and do whatever I can to make Donald Trump's life a living hell every waking minute.