Dear Xi, I wrote you but you still ain’t calling
I left my cell my pager and my home phone at the bottom
492
PapaTahm3 days ago
+93
You know this is a fake letter because there is a lack of Capitalization .
93
-ram_the_manparts-3 days ago
+61
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
61
StarblindMark893 days ago
+35
PICK UP THE PHONE YOU CRAZY B******
Peace be upon Sun Wukong.
35
No_Indication96303 days ago
+1
Sun Tsu - Appear crazy and demented, r*** children, therefore no-one will want to be around you.
1
DashingDace3 days ago
+31
I sent two peace deals back in Autumn, you must not-a got ‘em
31
NateTheRoofer3 days ago
+25
Regime’s not gone I’m wondering why,
I bombed Iran at all.
Approval rating’s out the window
Election losses in the Fall.
25
logicalzoro3 days ago
+3
Probably it was a problem with the post office or somethin
3
lostroadrunner223 days ago
+14
Dear chairman Xi,
Did you know chairman meow? Please dont send arms and stuff to Iran. We are POWERFULLY AND FULL OF MIGHT but we need you to not do things because I am MIGHT AND POWERFUL GRRR
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
14
Unlucky_Battle_69473 days ago
+2
And please? He never says please.
2
Rynowash3 days ago
+26
My daughter’s probably pregnant too, and I’m pretty sure I’m also the father…
26
logicalzoro3 days ago
+9
Guess what i m gonna call her. By the name of Bonnie
9
kosmokramr3 days ago
+10
I sent two letter back in autumn you must not’ve got em
10
Svennis793 days ago
+4
Boss move from Xi would be a reply.
"I won't if you don't"
4
Eyeshield_sena3 days ago
+2
I am making Suno music out of this
2
krypticus3 days ago
+2
> Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not’ve got ’em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em
But anyways, f*** it, what’s been up, man? How’s your daughter?
My girlfriend’s pregnant too, I’m ’bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I’ma call her?
I’ma name her Bonnie
2
Playful-Sleep-67503 days ago
+1
Lose this number lol
1
xParesh3 days ago
+135
One minute he’s shitting on China and then he gets into a war with Iran to distract from other domestic issues and is now kowtowing and kissing Chinese ass.
Things must really be bad on his special military operation
135
smltor3 days ago
+22
I think this is why he had McDonalds delivered to the door of the White House ahahahaha
"No I am still a fat arsed American!!!!"
Imagine if it had been fat panda or whatever that weird chinese food place is.
22
dragnansdragon3 days ago
+5
Phat panda is a large weed corporation on the west coast. I'd be down for them to deliver
5
smltor3 days ago
+1
I'd be down for them to deliver to you (how I read your comment) but also to him. Just trash him out for a few years in a fake office while we get on with life.
What is the panda place Americans like?
1
SirKnottinghamVII3 days ago
+1
Panda Express?
That place doesn't even compare to some Chinese food places in my town
1
xyzzs3 days ago
+2
Did you read the first paragraph of the linked article? It sounds more like a threat than ass kissing.
2
[deleted]3 days ago
+96
[deleted]
96
Space_Ape20003 days ago
+25
"I've had good talks with General Tso... he is very hungry to make a deal... and he is very wise, but a wird guy, he said "Good fortune is coming your way".. And then gave me winning l****** numbers"
25
-ram_the_manparts-3 days ago
+6
In bed
6
Playful-Sleep-67503 days ago
+1
I mean everyone knows general tso's chicken
1
Every-Development3983 days ago
+7
put Jupiter missles in turkey.
7
[deleted]3 days ago
+10
[deleted]
10
vector_search_blue3 days ago
+5
Just like Mochi ice cream wasn't invented in Japan
5
RadicalOrganizer3 days ago
+3
Wait what? Have I been lied to about THIS as well as everything else??
3
jyper3 days ago
+1
Googling I see claims it was invented in Japan but some claim it wasn't originally using ice cream but frozen rice milk so that might account for the controversy
1
Hetares3 days ago
+1
On that topic, I live in Japan and love explaining to the locals that how their 'Chinese cuisine' either doesn't exist in China or have had their taste so irrevocably altered to suit their locals that it should be considered another dish altogether. Still tastes good tho.
1
jyper3 days ago
+1
There we go
Definitive proof that Taiwan is not China!
(General Tsos was invented in Taiwan by a chef who fled the mainland and worked as a chef for the nationalist government although original version was less sweet then the one popular in America)
1
Time-Industry-13643 days ago
+5
He is honestly dumb enough that there is a distinct possibility that he thinks General Tso is an actual Chinese general lmao
5
Spiritofhonour3 days ago
+3
[He was an actual general of which the dish was named after him](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuo_Zongtang).
3
WatRedditHathWrought3 days ago
+2
Wait, the general only has one chicken?
2
Capital-Control3083 days ago
+1
General Tso Chicken is Taiwanese. I doubt if you would find it in China
1
Laughing_Zero3 days ago
+35
Which letter of the alphabet did Trump send? /s
35
ben_howler3 days ago
+3
Trump knows a letter of the alphabet? You sure?
3
labor_day_baby3 days ago
+5
I’m sure it was a lot more than just one letter. It was a jumbled mess of a letters and words riddled with typos, poor grammar and written in 24 point font so Donald Jesus Trump could read it prior to sending.
5
EditedRed3 days ago
+12
Xi be like "jah man" while crossing his fingers before giggling.
12
wastedgod3 days ago
+10
Did he say pretty please and thank you?
10
CHEVIEWER13 days ago
+3
Of course.
3
cetootski3 days ago
+1
He must wear the best Mao suit.
1
h00labal00la3 days ago
+1
He probably did ‘Chinese eyes’ while he was asking…. Sirry irriot.
1
Hetares3 days ago
+19
Well, since he asked nicely...
19
The_Corvair3 days ago
+11
Even wore a suit!
11
Katashi903 days ago
+26
China deals with Venezuela oil, he hits Venezuela. China deals with Iran oil, he hits Iran. And now he says "please don't fight back"? What is this man-child thinking? Even 3-years-olds asian kids are more sensible than him, despite having lived out more than 80% of his lifespan.
26
rando14593 days ago
+3
Maybe the nefarious plans of the American Oligarchy and MIC are more complex than the propaganda we see from the oligarch owned news outlets.
3
andruszko3 days ago
-9
China is "allies" with Iran, but they need to decide how much value that alliance has.
On one hand, they can not send aid, the regime can run out of money and capitulate on negotiations, and China can then resume receiving Iranian oil (and try to stave off significant economic loss).
On the other hand, they can send aid which keeps the regime afloat, and HOPE they outlast the US blockade, all while taking significant economic losses in the meantime. If the US indicates it's prepared to keep this up long term, it could be in china's best interests to let the regime capitulate. Provided they have some of their own assurances that they can get that oil again.
So yes, reaching out to China to put some pressure on them (to in turn put pressure on the regime to negotiate a deal) is, in fact, a valid and sensible approach.
-9
Katashi903 days ago
+13
In what sense? US was the initiator to screw with China. China wasn't even fazed by Trump's tariffs. There's not a single move made by Trump that was ever in good faith towards its allies and trading partners since the start of his second term. And he's expecting China to give in for what **HE DID**?
For decades american propaganda often brands rivals as aggressors and glorified their own conflict involvement. With Trump at helm, the US is not even hiding it now. China is now forced to weather through his antics for the next 4 years.
13
andruszko3 days ago
-11
What are you even talking about? This has nothing to do with "feelings" or "trump bad".
You're saying trump talking to China isn't sensible. I told you exactly why reaching out to China to keep them out of this is sensible, and why if China stays out of it things could end sooner while minimizing economic impact.
Clearly you aren't thinking logically here and are instead throwing a temper tantrum.
-11
Katashi903 days ago
+7
Y'know what's the biggest thing Trump could've done? Keep his hands out of Venezuela. Keep his hands out of Iran. Your explanation addresses the current events in form of consequence, but never address the causation behind them.
So when you say it's wise for China to minimize the economical impact on their part, where is the wisdom for US to **NOT** start a economical catastrophe by avoiding what they did?
And also, what makes you think asking China to keep their hands off would end everything? Trump's the one initiating the blockade, not China. Trump's the one whom put the UAE and his Middle East allies in this difficult position. Why would China be the one on the receiving end of stick for this crisis that wasn't initiated by them?
Here's a better solution : Call off the blockade. Accept Iran's terms gracefully. Negotiate for free global transit on the Straits of Hormuz. Wouldn't that end things sooner?
7
andruszko2 days ago
Yes, accepting an agreement would end things sooner. To accept an agreement, it requires China to not support Iran and drag things out. The US needs China to put pressure on Iran to come to an agreement sooner.
Thus, trump talking to China is sensible because it ends things sooner. Proving my point.
You aren't complaining about the war, you're complaining about diplomacy to end the war sooner. Which is wild.
0
Katashi902 days ago
+1
Why is China the one that needs to do something about this? Iran made it clear what their ceasefire conditions are, and US **IS THE ONE WHOM REFUSES TO ACCEPT THOSE CONDITIONS**. Why does China have to apply pressure on Iran to adhere to US interests?
Iran dragged things out **BECAUSE** US is the one whom refuses to admit that they are the ones whom has to accept Iran's demands for assassinating their head of state, making it a declaration act of war.
You're wild for gaslighting yourself saying it's China's problem for not cleaning up the mess of a bed US made for themselves. Jeezus.
1
MikeSteamer3 days ago
+6
Sad analysis. Note the timing, Vance announced no more weapons to Ukraine and Trump says China suddenly decided not to send weapons to Iran. Also, turn off the taps of Chinese imports for Amazon and Walmart, MAGA will revolt. Successive administrations turned a blind eye to the massive low-cost imports from China because it allowed most Americans to maintain their standard of living despite inflation.
6
andruszko3 days ago
-1
Vance did not announce no more weapons to Ukraine. Why are you inserting yourself into conversations if you can't even be bothered to read anything but a headline? It's like you're trying to spread ignorance.
NATO brokered a deal, AWHILE back, to purchase US weapons and route them through Ukraine. This allows the UK to still receive weapons, and allows vance/trump (despite them being idiots) to tell their voters they kept their promise and stopped paying to help Ukraine.
That 2025 deal that vance referenced has zero impact on this discussion with China now. And what the f*** are you talking about Amazon for? Such a weird comment.
-1
GreatGojira3 days ago
+7
Trump begging China more to support their allies.
Maybe Trump could learn from Xi on why it's good not to stab our allies in the back.
7
chickyloo42by103 days ago
+7
Xi does what Xi thinks is best for China. But China isn’t going to take anything the US says seriously unless they stand to benefit from it.
7
Helldiver-xzoen3 days ago
+7
Big strong trump is "asking"? I thought his whole schtick is that he **\*\*DEMANDS\*\*** things, or else his foes face annihilation at his whim? Is trump actually just a weak manbaby? /s
7
Fair-Doughnut30003 days ago
+6
That would be "beg" Gina.
6
moop-ly3 days ago
+12
dear burgeoning power that’s witnessing a power in decline - plz stop helping the enemy. the fact we financed their rise just adds to the hilarity of it all
12
planetarybum3 days ago
+4
Yes, let Russia do it.
4
Illustrious_Hotel5273 days ago
+4
I'm sure Xi appreciated the Winnie the Pooh background used on the paper..
4
BOPSurfcasting13 days ago
+6
Two big tankers, one linked to China and the other one possibly linked to China sailed through in the last few hours but other than that there is no other real movement in the strait.
6
maybelying3 days ago
+4
Was it a beautiful letter? Are we going to hear next week about the very beautiful letter Xi sends back to him?
4
kombiwombi3 days ago
+1
Xi has already replied. "We're already not sending weapons". Whilst sending weapons.
Edit: if I were in Xi's shoes there would be no way in this moment that I would be able to resist arranging a couple of Air Warfare Destroyers to take me on a fishing trip off the coast of Taiwan.
1
MeatImmediate65493 days ago
+3
What is Chinese for, "New phone. Who dis?"
3
vector_search_blue3 days ago
+3
"Sir, Mr. Xi sir, please do not arm Iran"
f****** pathetic
3
SwvellyBents3 days ago
+3
What? You mean begging on social media doesn't work?
3
charlie_s12343 days ago
+3
Did he write the note inside a crude drawing of an underage girl again?
3
Micksar3 days ago
+3
“You cheated on me… when I specifically asked you not to?”
3
Leverkaas25163 days ago
+3
If Xi is smart...and he most certainly is... he'll do what Putin does: assure Trump that of course he won't do any such thing, and then do it anyway.
3
toorudez3 days ago
+2
Did he fold it into one of those throwing stars from junior high?
2
FUThead20163 days ago
+2
Dear China,
I saw on Fox News that you are sending weapons to Irban. But he’s got no cards, ok? Everybody says so. He’s finished. We sent the country into, they have no ships. Not a single ship and they had many. And I asked your prime minister that it’s gotta stop. I call him Mr Prime Minister, when you meet a world leader it’s done a certain way, a good way to be honest. Probably not the way I’d do it.
2
Fit_Plum64673 days ago
+2
Sure thing Dumbass. I mean Donald.
2
_jump_yossarian3 days ago
+2
Show us the letters, donny!
2
TheGreatNemoNobody3 days ago
+2
Dear Xi,
Pweeaseeeeeee? :3
Signed, DJT
2
jcrestor3 days ago
+2
Dear Donald,
no.
Yours truly
Xi
2
satanzhand3 days ago
+2
Trump creativity was the factor:
To President Xi,
A very strong man, much stronger than me,
He runs a big country, the best country around,
Five thousand years of culture, very profound.
Now Xi, I'm told, and many people say,
That weapons to Iran might be on the way,
Missiles and drones, very bad, very sad,
If this is true, Xi, that would be bad.
The Strait of Hormuz, a very tight squeeze,
Nobody wants oil at two hundred, please,
The Houthis are there, they love when things burn,
More weapons for Iran, not a great turn.
So Xi, my friend, and we are great friends,
Let's make a deal before something ends,
No weapons to Iran, they have enough,
Those Ayatollah guys can be very rough.
Call me, Xi, we'll do something great,
Perhaps some tariffs we can negotiate,
Together we'll win, the best kind of winning,
Keep the weapons home, stop all that sinning.
Xi, you look very good,
Better than Biden, as everyone should.
- DJT
2
Murray383 days ago
+1
Is this the big fat hug he wanted from Pooh bear?
1
JPJackPott3 days ago
+1
Where’s the big thumbs up meme
1
Mr_Kinton3 days ago
+1
Xi: Listen baby, I’m sorry, just wanna tell you don’t worry, I will be late, don’t stay up and wait for me—Say again, you’re dropping out, my battery is low—just so you know, we’re going to a place nearby, gotta go
1
kl1220023 days ago
+1
To the cult or to the public?
1
ninjahosk3 days ago
+1
Oh, bother.
1
Severe_Air_43533 days ago
+1
Like trump knows China hates you
1
AustinSpartan3 days ago
+1
be a buddy
1
Darkhallows273 days ago
+1
“Please don’t send Iran weapons, I’ll make shitty AI memes about you!”
1
Ok_Interest_90063 days ago
+1
Trump going to get a big fat hug, that’s the only way he can get hugged. Someone has to try and reach around the fat b****** to make it happen. Poor Xi
1
Blake__P3 days ago
+1
Did he try begging or saying pretty please?!
1
betawings3 days ago
+1
"pinky promise" -Xi
1
pabodie3 days ago
+1
How many kinds of idiot and coward can he find?
1
RunningPirate3 days ago
+1
Dear President Xi,
Please don’t send weapons to Iran.
Bigly yours,
Donald Trump.
1
rsa13 days ago
+2
That is followed by the text:
> if you want, I can rewrite this to praise President Xi. Would you like me to do that next?
2
omnibossk3 days ago
+1
He copied the Epstein card drawing and signature for good measure.
1
TrashCapable3 days ago
+1
What a joke.
1
ahernandez503 days ago
+1
Trump is so tough and respected that he's down to begging Xi now. Pathetic PoS of a PotUS.
1
ahernandez503 days ago
+1
Trump started the Iran war to keep China from getting their oil. Now he expects China to stop supporting its main oil supplier? What kind of an IM BE CI LE do we have as potus?
1
HinDae0853 days ago
+1
I hope Xi said "How bout i do, anyway."
1
PermaDerpFace3 days ago
+1
Duhh ok
1
RockerDawg3 days ago
+1
Weak
1
Schnuckiputzen3 days ago
+1
..espeshally not those anti-aircraft carryer thingies, okaye?
1
Extension_Design_6993 days ago
+1
It is a bit alte for Iran, send them to Cuba
1
GarbageThrown3 days ago
+1
A letter? You want me to believe that the dementia toddler who can’t read is capable of sitting down and marshaling his thoughts long enough to write a letter? Or that he had someone else do that while taking diction like it’s 1985? A letter that would take how long to arrive? When he could do that over the phone or email? Come on.
1
SkywalkerTC3 days ago
+1
Trump just doesn't get it. Like himself, China's words can never be trusted, there's no point trusting them and telling everyone they agreed. And even if China doesn't directly ship weapons to Iran, intelligence sharing alone can be decisive. Did trump even mention this part in the letter? Or just sending weapons? If Trump TACOs on the promised 50% tariff after China aids Iran anyway, that's just incompetence.
1
aaeme3 days ago
+1
'Asks' is a euphemism for 'begs'.
1
Blank3k3 days ago
+1
Xi will tell trump he wouldn't send weapons, then call Putin and have a giggle at how the orange buffoon falls for it every time, look he's even tweeted about it!
China should be sanctioned and boycotted for being a state sponsor of terrorism and a brutal dictatorship that oppresses the people of China.
1
Fercaichoa2 days ago
+1
The country that should be sanctioned is Israel for being a terrorist nation and brutal tyrannical regime that oppresses the people of the Middle East.
1
dnight223 days ago
+1
Weakest president in history
1
KeepCalmCarryOnKY3 days ago
+1
Was outlined with the shape of a woman or winnie the poo?
1
BranSh812 days ago
+1
Did him say please pretty please? 🙏
1
isekai_cheese2 days ago
+1
this photo has so much [meme potential](https://i.imgur.com/ZwPPZ8R.png) lol
1
xxInsanex3 days ago
Just like Trump China is only interested in $$$
Once Iran opens the checkbook everything coming out the orange guy's mouth is irrelevent
0
karsh363 days ago
So he asked, they haven’t agreed. All the lies, everyday
117 Comments