Dear Xi, I wrote you but you still ain’t calling
I left my cell my pager and my home phone at the bottom
492
PapaTahmApr 15, 2026
+93
You know this is a fake letter because there is a lack of Capitalization .
93
-ram_the_manparts-Apr 16, 2026
+61
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
61
StarblindMark89Apr 16, 2026
+35
PICK UP THE PHONE YOU CRAZY B******
Peace be upon Sun Wukong.
35
No_Indication9630Apr 16, 2026
+1
Sun Tsu - Appear crazy and demented, r*** children, therefore no-one will want to be around you.
1
DashingDaceApr 16, 2026
+31
I sent two peace deals back in Autumn, you must not-a got ‘em
31
NateTheRooferApr 16, 2026
+25
Regime’s not gone I’m wondering why,
I bombed Iran at all.
Approval rating’s out the window
Election losses in the Fall.
25
logicalzoroApr 16, 2026
+3
Probably it was a problem with the post office or somethin
3
lostroadrunner22Apr 16, 2026
+14
Dear chairman Xi,
Did you know chairman meow? Please dont send arms and stuff to Iran. We are POWERFULLY AND FULL OF MIGHT but we need you to not do things because I am MIGHT AND POWERFUL GRRR
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
14
Unlucky_Battle_6947Apr 16, 2026
+2
And please? He never says please.
2
RynowashApr 16, 2026
+26
My daughter’s probably pregnant too, and I’m pretty sure I’m also the father…
26
logicalzoroApr 16, 2026
+9
Guess what i m gonna call her. By the name of Bonnie
9
kosmokramrApr 16, 2026
+10
I sent two letter back in autumn you must not’ve got em
10
Svennis79Apr 16, 2026
+4
Boss move from Xi would be a reply.
"I won't if you don't"
4
Eyeshield_senaApr 16, 2026
+2
I am making Suno music out of this
2
krypticusApr 16, 2026
+2
> Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not’ve got ’em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em
But anyways, f*** it, what’s been up, man? How’s your daughter?
My girlfriend’s pregnant too, I’m ’bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I’ma call her?
I’ma name her Bonnie
2
Playful-Sleep-6750Apr 16, 2026
+1
Lose this number lol
1
xPareshApr 15, 2026
+135
One minute he’s shitting on China and then he gets into a war with Iran to distract from other domestic issues and is now kowtowing and kissing Chinese ass.
Things must really be bad on his special military operation
135
smltorApr 16, 2026
+22
I think this is why he had McDonalds delivered to the door of the White House ahahahaha
"No I am still a fat arsed American!!!!"
Imagine if it had been fat panda or whatever that weird chinese food place is.
22
dragnansdragonApr 16, 2026
+5
Phat panda is a large weed corporation on the west coast. I'd be down for them to deliver
5
smltorApr 16, 2026
+1
I'd be down for them to deliver to you (how I read your comment) but also to him. Just trash him out for a few years in a fake office while we get on with life.
What is the panda place Americans like?
1
SirKnottinghamVIIApr 16, 2026
+1
Panda Express?
That place doesn't even compare to some Chinese food places in my town
1
xyzzsApr 16, 2026
+2
Did you read the first paragraph of the linked article? It sounds more like a threat than ass kissing.
2
[deleted]Apr 15, 2026
+96
[deleted]
96
Space_Ape2000Apr 16, 2026
+25
"I've had good talks with General Tso... he is very hungry to make a deal... and he is very wise, but a wird guy, he said "Good fortune is coming your way".. And then gave me winning l****** numbers"
25
-ram_the_manparts-Apr 16, 2026
+6
In bed
6
Playful-Sleep-6750Apr 16, 2026
+1
I mean everyone knows general tso's chicken
1
Every-Development398Apr 15, 2026
+7
put Jupiter missles in turkey.
7
[deleted]Apr 15, 2026
+10
[deleted]
10
vector_search_blueApr 15, 2026
+5
Just like Mochi ice cream wasn't invented in Japan
5
RadicalOrganizerApr 15, 2026
+3
Wait what? Have I been lied to about THIS as well as everything else??
3
jyperApr 16, 2026
+1
Googling I see claims it was invented in Japan but some claim it wasn't originally using ice cream but frozen rice milk so that might account for the controversy
1
HetaresApr 16, 2026
+1
On that topic, I live in Japan and love explaining to the locals that how their 'Chinese cuisine' either doesn't exist in China or have had their taste so irrevocably altered to suit their locals that it should be considered another dish altogether. Still tastes good tho.
1
jyperApr 16, 2026
+1
There we go
Definitive proof that Taiwan is not China!
(General Tsos was invented in Taiwan by a chef who fled the mainland and worked as a chef for the nationalist government although original version was less sweet then the one popular in America)
1
Time-Industry-1364Apr 16, 2026
+5
He is honestly dumb enough that there is a distinct possibility that he thinks General Tso is an actual Chinese general lmao
5
SpiritofhonourApr 16, 2026
+3
[He was an actual general of which the dish was named after him](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuo_Zongtang).
3
WatRedditHathWroughtApr 16, 2026
+2
Wait, the general only has one chicken?
2
Capital-Control308Apr 16, 2026
+1
General Tso Chicken is Taiwanese. I doubt if you would find it in China
1
Laughing_ZeroApr 15, 2026
+35
Which letter of the alphabet did Trump send? /s
35
ben_howlerApr 16, 2026
+3
Trump knows a letter of the alphabet? You sure?
3
labor_day_babyApr 16, 2026
+5
I’m sure it was a lot more than just one letter. It was a jumbled mess of a letters and words riddled with typos, poor grammar and written in 24 point font so Donald Jesus Trump could read it prior to sending.
5
EditedRedApr 15, 2026
+12
Xi be like "jah man" while crossing his fingers before giggling.
12
wastedgodApr 15, 2026
+10
Did he say pretty please and thank you?
10
CHEVIEWER1Apr 15, 2026
+3
Of course.
3
cetootskiApr 16, 2026
+1
He must wear the best Mao suit.
1
h00labal00laApr 16, 2026
+1
He probably did ‘Chinese eyes’ while he was asking…. Sirry irriot.
1
HetaresApr 15, 2026
+19
Well, since he asked nicely...
19
The_CorvairApr 15, 2026
+11
Even wore a suit!
11
Katashi90Apr 15, 2026
+26
China deals with Venezuela oil, he hits Venezuela. China deals with Iran oil, he hits Iran. And now he says "please don't fight back"? What is this man-child thinking? Even 3-years-olds asian kids are more sensible than him, despite having lived out more than 80% of his lifespan.
26
rando1459Apr 16, 2026
+3
Maybe the nefarious plans of the American Oligarchy and MIC are more complex than the propaganda we see from the oligarch owned news outlets.
3
andruszkoApr 16, 2026
-9
China is "allies" with Iran, but they need to decide how much value that alliance has.
On one hand, they can not send aid, the regime can run out of money and capitulate on negotiations, and China can then resume receiving Iranian oil (and try to stave off significant economic loss).
On the other hand, they can send aid which keeps the regime afloat, and HOPE they outlast the US blockade, all while taking significant economic losses in the meantime. If the US indicates it's prepared to keep this up long term, it could be in china's best interests to let the regime capitulate. Provided they have some of their own assurances that they can get that oil again.
So yes, reaching out to China to put some pressure on them (to in turn put pressure on the regime to negotiate a deal) is, in fact, a valid and sensible approach.
-9
Katashi90Apr 16, 2026
+13
In what sense? US was the initiator to screw with China. China wasn't even fazed by Trump's tariffs. There's not a single move made by Trump that was ever in good faith towards its allies and trading partners since the start of his second term. And he's expecting China to give in for what **HE DID**?
For decades american propaganda often brands rivals as aggressors and glorified their own conflict involvement. With Trump at helm, the US is not even hiding it now. China is now forced to weather through his antics for the next 4 years.
13
andruszkoApr 16, 2026
-11
What are you even talking about? This has nothing to do with "feelings" or "trump bad".
You're saying trump talking to China isn't sensible. I told you exactly why reaching out to China to keep them out of this is sensible, and why if China stays out of it things could end sooner while minimizing economic impact.
Clearly you aren't thinking logically here and are instead throwing a temper tantrum.
-11
Katashi90Apr 16, 2026
+7
Y'know what's the biggest thing Trump could've done? Keep his hands out of Venezuela. Keep his hands out of Iran. Your explanation addresses the current events in form of consequence, but never address the causation behind them.
So when you say it's wise for China to minimize the economical impact on their part, where is the wisdom for US to **NOT** start a economical catastrophe by avoiding what they did?
And also, what makes you think asking China to keep their hands off would end everything? Trump's the one initiating the blockade, not China. Trump's the one whom put the UAE and his Middle East allies in this difficult position. Why would China be the one on the receiving end of stick for this crisis that wasn't initiated by them?
Here's a better solution : Call off the blockade. Accept Iran's terms gracefully. Negotiate for free global transit on the Straits of Hormuz. Wouldn't that end things sooner?
7
andruszkoApr 17, 2026
Yes, accepting an agreement would end things sooner. To accept an agreement, it requires China to not support Iran and drag things out. The US needs China to put pressure on Iran to come to an agreement sooner.
Thus, trump talking to China is sensible because it ends things sooner. Proving my point.
You aren't complaining about the war, you're complaining about diplomacy to end the war sooner. Which is wild.
0
Katashi90Apr 17, 2026
+1
Why is China the one that needs to do something about this? Iran made it clear what their ceasefire conditions are, and US **IS THE ONE WHOM REFUSES TO ACCEPT THOSE CONDITIONS**. Why does China have to apply pressure on Iran to adhere to US interests?
Iran dragged things out **BECAUSE** US is the one whom refuses to admit that they are the ones whom has to accept Iran's demands for assassinating their head of state, making it a declaration act of war.
You're wild for gaslighting yourself saying it's China's problem for not cleaning up the mess of a bed US made for themselves. Jeezus.
1
MikeSteamerApr 16, 2026
+6
Sad analysis. Note the timing, Vance announced no more weapons to Ukraine and Trump says China suddenly decided not to send weapons to Iran. Also, turn off the taps of Chinese imports for Amazon and Walmart, MAGA will revolt. Successive administrations turned a blind eye to the massive low-cost imports from China because it allowed most Americans to maintain their standard of living despite inflation.
6
andruszkoApr 16, 2026
-1
Vance did not announce no more weapons to Ukraine. Why are you inserting yourself into conversations if you can't even be bothered to read anything but a headline? It's like you're trying to spread ignorance.
NATO brokered a deal, AWHILE back, to purchase US weapons and route them through Ukraine. This allows the UK to still receive weapons, and allows vance/trump (despite them being idiots) to tell their voters they kept their promise and stopped paying to help Ukraine.
That 2025 deal that vance referenced has zero impact on this discussion with China now. And what the f*** are you talking about Amazon for? Such a weird comment.
-1
GreatGojiraApr 15, 2026
+7
Trump begging China more to support their allies.
Maybe Trump could learn from Xi on why it's good not to stab our allies in the back.
7
chickyloo42by10Apr 16, 2026
+7
Xi does what Xi thinks is best for China. But China isn’t going to take anything the US says seriously unless they stand to benefit from it.
7
Helldiver-xzoenApr 16, 2026
+7
Big strong trump is "asking"? I thought his whole schtick is that he **\*\*DEMANDS\*\*** things, or else his foes face annihilation at his whim? Is trump actually just a weak manbaby? /s
7
Fair-Doughnut3000Apr 15, 2026
+6
That would be "beg" Gina.
6
moop-lyApr 15, 2026
+12
dear burgeoning power that’s witnessing a power in decline - plz stop helping the enemy. the fact we financed their rise just adds to the hilarity of it all
12
planetarybumApr 15, 2026
+4
Yes, let Russia do it.
4
Illustrious_Hotel527Apr 15, 2026
+4
I'm sure Xi appreciated the Winnie the Pooh background used on the paper..
4
BOPSurfcasting1Apr 15, 2026
+6
Two big tankers, one linked to China and the other one possibly linked to China sailed through in the last few hours but other than that there is no other real movement in the strait.
6
maybelyingApr 16, 2026
+4
Was it a beautiful letter? Are we going to hear next week about the very beautiful letter Xi sends back to him?
4
kombiwombiApr 16, 2026
+1
Xi has already replied. "We're already not sending weapons". Whilst sending weapons.
Edit: if I were in Xi's shoes there would be no way in this moment that I would be able to resist arranging a couple of Air Warfare Destroyers to take me on a fishing trip off the coast of Taiwan.
1
MeatImmediate6549Apr 15, 2026
+3
What is Chinese for, "New phone. Who dis?"
3
vector_search_blueApr 15, 2026
+3
"Sir, Mr. Xi sir, please do not arm Iran"
f****** pathetic
3
SwvellyBentsApr 15, 2026
+3
What? You mean begging on social media doesn't work?
3
charlie_s1234Apr 16, 2026
+3
Did he write the note inside a crude drawing of an underage girl again?
3
MicksarApr 16, 2026
+3
“You cheated on me… when I specifically asked you not to?”
3
Leverkaas2516Apr 16, 2026
+3
If Xi is smart...and he most certainly is... he'll do what Putin does: assure Trump that of course he won't do any such thing, and then do it anyway.
3
toorudezApr 16, 2026
+2
Did he fold it into one of those throwing stars from junior high?
2
FUThead2016Apr 16, 2026
+2
Dear China,
I saw on Fox News that you are sending weapons to Irban. But he’s got no cards, ok? Everybody says so. He’s finished. We sent the country into, they have no ships. Not a single ship and they had many. And I asked your prime minister that it’s gotta stop. I call him Mr Prime Minister, when you meet a world leader it’s done a certain way, a good way to be honest. Probably not the way I’d do it.
2
Fit_Plum6467Apr 16, 2026
+2
Sure thing Dumbass. I mean Donald.
2
_jump_yossarianApr 16, 2026
+2
Show us the letters, donny!
2
TheGreatNemoNobodyApr 16, 2026
+2
Dear Xi,
Pweeaseeeeeee? :3
Signed, DJT
2
jcrestorApr 16, 2026
+2
Dear Donald,
no.
Yours truly
Xi
2
satanzhandApr 16, 2026
+2
Trump creativity was the factor:
To President Xi,
A very strong man, much stronger than me,
He runs a big country, the best country around,
Five thousand years of culture, very profound.
Now Xi, I'm told, and many people say,
That weapons to Iran might be on the way,
Missiles and drones, very bad, very sad,
If this is true, Xi, that would be bad.
The Strait of Hormuz, a very tight squeeze,
Nobody wants oil at two hundred, please,
The Houthis are there, they love when things burn,
More weapons for Iran, not a great turn.
So Xi, my friend, and we are great friends,
Let's make a deal before something ends,
No weapons to Iran, they have enough,
Those Ayatollah guys can be very rough.
Call me, Xi, we'll do something great,
Perhaps some tariffs we can negotiate,
Together we'll win, the best kind of winning,
Keep the weapons home, stop all that sinning.
Xi, you look very good,
Better than Biden, as everyone should.
- DJT
2
Murray38Apr 15, 2026
+1
Is this the big fat hug he wanted from Pooh bear?
1
JPJackPottApr 16, 2026
+1
Where’s the big thumbs up meme
1
Mr_KintonApr 16, 2026
+1
Xi: Listen baby, I’m sorry, just wanna tell you don’t worry, I will be late, don’t stay up and wait for me—Say again, you’re dropping out, my battery is low—just so you know, we’re going to a place nearby, gotta go
1
kl122002Apr 16, 2026
+1
To the cult or to the public?
1
ninjahoskApr 16, 2026
+1
Oh, bother.
1
Severe_Air_4353Apr 16, 2026
+1
Like trump knows China hates you
1
AustinSpartanApr 16, 2026
+1
be a buddy
1
Darkhallows27Apr 16, 2026
+1
“Please don’t send Iran weapons, I’ll make shitty AI memes about you!”
1
Ok_Interest_9006Apr 16, 2026
+1
Trump going to get a big fat hug, that’s the only way he can get hugged. Someone has to try and reach around the fat b****** to make it happen. Poor Xi
1
Blake__PApr 16, 2026
+1
Did he try begging or saying pretty please?!
1
betawingsApr 16, 2026
+1
"pinky promise" -Xi
1
pabodieApr 16, 2026
+1
How many kinds of idiot and coward can he find?
1
RunningPirateApr 16, 2026
+1
Dear President Xi,
Please don’t send weapons to Iran.
Bigly yours,
Donald Trump.
1
rsa1Apr 16, 2026
+2
That is followed by the text:
> if you want, I can rewrite this to praise President Xi. Would you like me to do that next?
2
omnibosskApr 16, 2026
+1
He copied the Epstein card drawing and signature for good measure.
1
TrashCapableApr 16, 2026
+1
What a joke.
1
ahernandez50Apr 16, 2026
+1
Trump is so tough and respected that he's down to begging Xi now. Pathetic PoS of a PotUS.
1
ahernandez50Apr 16, 2026
+1
Trump started the Iran war to keep China from getting their oil. Now he expects China to stop supporting its main oil supplier? What kind of an IM BE CI LE do we have as potus?
1
HinDae085Apr 16, 2026
+1
I hope Xi said "How bout i do, anyway."
1
PermaDerpFaceApr 16, 2026
+1
Duhh ok
1
RockerDawgApr 16, 2026
+1
Weak
1
SchnuckiputzenApr 16, 2026
+1
..espeshally not those anti-aircraft carryer thingies, okaye?
1
Extension_Design_699Apr 16, 2026
+1
It is a bit alte for Iran, send them to Cuba
1
GarbageThrownApr 16, 2026
+1
A letter? You want me to believe that the dementia toddler who can’t read is capable of sitting down and marshaling his thoughts long enough to write a letter? Or that he had someone else do that while taking diction like it’s 1985? A letter that would take how long to arrive? When he could do that over the phone or email? Come on.
1
SkywalkerTCApr 16, 2026
+1
Trump just doesn't get it. Like himself, China's words can never be trusted, there's no point trusting them and telling everyone they agreed. And even if China doesn't directly ship weapons to Iran, intelligence sharing alone can be decisive. Did trump even mention this part in the letter? Or just sending weapons? If Trump TACOs on the promised 50% tariff after China aids Iran anyway, that's just incompetence.
1
aaemeApr 16, 2026
+1
'Asks' is a euphemism for 'begs'.
1
Blank3kApr 16, 2026
+1
Xi will tell trump he wouldn't send weapons, then call Putin and have a giggle at how the orange buffoon falls for it every time, look he's even tweeted about it!
China should be sanctioned and boycotted for being a state sponsor of terrorism and a brutal dictatorship that oppresses the people of China.
1
FercaichoaApr 16, 2026
+1
The country that should be sanctioned is Israel for being a terrorist nation and brutal tyrannical regime that oppresses the people of the Middle East.
1
dnight22Apr 16, 2026
+1
Weakest president in history
1
KeepCalmCarryOnKYApr 16, 2026
+1
Was outlined with the shape of a woman or winnie the poo?
1
BranSh81Apr 16, 2026
+1
Did him say please pretty please? 🙏
1
isekai_cheeseApr 17, 2026
+1
this photo has so much [meme potential](https://i.imgur.com/ZwPPZ8R.png) lol
1
xxInsanexApr 15, 2026
Just like Trump China is only interested in $$$
Once Iran opens the checkbook everything coming out the orange guy's mouth is irrelevent
0
karsh36Apr 16, 2026
So he asked, they haven’t agreed. All the lies, everyday
117 Comments