My girlfriend(19f) and I(18m) have been together 6 years. Yes we got together very young and haven’t experienced even an ounce of real life yet, but I am having a problem with my attraction to other women.
I love my girlfriend an insane amount, and honestly could have balanced my time with her and actual friends or family better in the past but it is what it is.
Currently my problem is I must talk to much. We were watching a show and a pretty woman came onto screen, though it was animated obviously she looked good and I commented, my Gf also commented on the good looks. The character continues to say she has 15 wolfs and knows white lotus kongfu or whatever. I expressed my shock and said “bagged” as it was the uncle in the show on a date. She usually finds it funny but I find myself going to far all the damn time.
It’s not intentional i just don’t know why I do it, I do have fantasy of a three sum or something but I highly doubt it would happen as my gf is very jealous and not into sharing which I understand and neither am I ironically which I am working on if I want to have this fantasy one day.
This makes me feel like a terrible person even typing this out. I used to watch p*** frequently but realized it was effecting me personally in a bad way, I used to associate it with turning me on FOR my gf or just a quick release but realized it’s not good for my mental health so I stopped recently.
I’m not to sure what I am looking for posting on her besides insight? Maybe telling me how bad of a dude I am will help🤷🏽♂️ I don’t do this often but often enough to realize it’s a problem. Than she gets mad and I get even more pissed and we can’t work passed it.
I guess maybe I need help working through my own mind? I know I am very young and still need time to find myself but I would consider myself pretty mature and thoughtful which is why I hate myself for doing this.
I appreciate ANY insight anytime has, whether it’s criticizing me in a good or bad way I know I need to change this. It makes her insecure but I CONSTANTLY reassure that she is exactly what I want! Body type, personality, anything that she has I want. But obviously there are other attractive women out in the world even though this was an animation.
Apologies for the book. Just want any opinions, don’t hold back I need to grow out of this.
TL;DR: “lust” over other women in front of girlfriend with slight comments, need to find out how the f*** I stop or something, I don’t even realize it come out than she’s mad and I just sit there pissed at myself.
EDIT: as I made this in the bathroom, she locked me out of our room and our new apartment. That’s fine, but something I had in my mind as well, I’m not sure if I can’t post this here🤷🏽♂️ I think I can tho. A few years ago she was hanging out with friends at a park, drinking and slopping drunk, I had my best friend walk her home.
She told me tonight that her and around 5 friends all showed there b****. Not a big worry but kinda makes me feel a way as something happened In the past. She hung out with a dude she likes or liked. Probably currently likes tho idk. She lied to me about where she was, had her sister lie to yadayada whatever we talked and I believed she didn’t do anything because what else can I do? But she was also drinking with him, I JUST found out about this b*** thing and I kinda gave her a “what” look and she says “I was fucked up and it’s not like it turned us on” I get it whatever, but she was also drunk with this dude a few years ago🤨
I’ve tried to put this out of my mind as I’ve brought it up maybe twice years later which kinda makes me feel like shit. Anyways just wanted to add, maybe somebody has a similar experience. I love her a lot, she is beautiful,…smart? But I love her personality, out work ethic might not lineup but I know how to provide. I’ve really tried my hardest to make this work but I’m not sure.
I’m just so young and don’t want that to get in the way of my desire to have her successful in my life. Personally it’s hard in my mental but I guess just let me have it.
Comments