ListNook

Legitimate-Tip-2149 Apr 2, 2026 +623

US: I will crush you with epic FURY! Iran: No, I will crush you harder! US: Oh yeah? Well then today I will crush you in the most intense way possible! Also US: Anyhow, so talks are going great.

623

GalaxianEX Apr 2, 2026 +157

Also also US: Btw, we already won and if they don't accept it we are really going to get serious for real this time

157

fleebleganger Apr 2, 2026 +80

But our allies totally need to help us or we will hate them forever but we have zero need for our allies

80

SaturdayNightPyrexia Apr 2, 2026 +41

Also. The economy is great and we have so much gas.

41

Possible_Rhubarb Apr 2, 2026 +9

The fact that Trump always lies, is starting to make me wonder if the US really does have "plenty" of oil.

9

Facts_pls Apr 2, 2026 +7

I'm starting to wonder if US is a real place or did I get Truman Showed the last time I visited before Trump took office. Never felt like going there again.

7

SaturdayNightPyrexia Apr 2, 2026 +1

No way we do. We use oil more than water.

1

fern-grower Apr 2, 2026 +1

I'm beginning to wonder if the USA is a real place. I'm thinking Wonker land as Trump looks like a Umperlumper.

1

raikou1988 Apr 2, 2026 +4

"Alot of people say we have the best gas in the world. Nobody has gas like we do."

4

SaturdayNightPyrexia Apr 2, 2026 +3

Are we talking crude or flatulence? Def the latter....

3

Ardalev Apr 2, 2026 +1

I mean, at least that last part is true, the president is certainly passing a lot of it, at all times!

1

Scottiths Apr 2, 2026 +12

But also we are just going to leave and it doesn't matter if the straight remains closed. If anyone else wants it open they can do it themselves. Trump is such an idiot, and I am being unkind to idiots with that comparison.

12

few Apr 2, 2026 +2

And, this is not a war, but it's also way shorter than all those other wars. And, it's really easy now to open the strait. But somebody else needs to do it because we're tired of winning the most everything ever.

2

zefmdf Apr 2, 2026 +1

Also US: f that Springsteen guy btw haha enjoy filling up your tank

1

GotEggs Apr 2, 2026 +21

America is back to winning, so much winning. The families of the solders went to him, they went to him and said ‘please sir, finish the job.’

21

jimicus Apr 2, 2026 +18

Funny, beacuse I'm sure an awful lot of people would say the same thing to Ronald McDonald.

18

KE55 Apr 2, 2026 +7

The main priority of this infantile US administration is probably thinking up a s*** 'tough guy' name for the next wave of attacks.

7

Blrfl Apr 2, 2026 +8

Canada: [I'm crushing your head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t4pmlHRokg)!

8

JazzyJockJeffcoat Apr 2, 2026 +2

Hah that was my first thought !

2

bwpopper37 Apr 2, 2026 +1

I thought of the one where he gets into it with the guy who's pinching faces.

1

Blrfl Apr 2, 2026 +1

[Never mess with a pro, buddy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM5_dgKDsrc).

1

Obvious_Cranberry607 Apr 2, 2026 +1

Squishing faces.

1

John_Mark_Corpuz_2 Apr 2, 2026 +14

That's probably their "talks" so yeah, doing oh so "great".

14

swizzcheez Apr 2, 2026 +3

Sounds like the opening act of a romcom.

3

mdeeebeee-101 Apr 2, 2026 +5

Pretty much the essence of it.

5

graviousishpsponge Apr 2, 2026 +2

This honestly could be a hate sex sext.

2

Dry_Ass_P-word Apr 2, 2026 +2

Funny how Iran doesn’t seem to recognize that there’s a new regime in charge according to trump. Shes really hot but apparently goes to school in Canada or something.

2

synapse187 Apr 2, 2026 +1

All bark, no bite.

1

malsomnus Apr 2, 2026 +195

Can we stop pretending that "USA says it will kill Iran" and "Iran says it will kill USA" count as news? Because this seems to be like 80% of the sub's content at the moment.

195

bigtallbiscuit Apr 2, 2026 +28

Well it seems like either one of them following through might have negative repercussions.

28

Betrayus Apr 2, 2026 +23

There could be some positive though, if we enter a true world wide recession and taco bell is struggling enough they might finally bring back the 7-layer burrito

23

PatSajaksDick Apr 2, 2026 +11

They brought it back a couple months ago

11

Jae_Rides_Apes Apr 2, 2026 +2

Well then maybe Jack In the Box will bring back the Chipotle Chicken Ciabatta!

2

Facts_pls Apr 2, 2026 +1

Will they'd convening news then

1

hamcicle Apr 2, 2026 +5

Words. What are they even?

5

AlcibiadesTheCat Apr 2, 2026 +1

What about the McRib?

1

joelfarris Apr 3, 2026 +2

Again? Do we have to?

2

buttchugreferee Apr 2, 2026 +4

I'm ready for Taco Bell to win the the Franchise Wars and then maybe we can finally get the three seashells

4

AlcibiadesTheCat Apr 2, 2026 +1

Such as the front falling off?

1

ITrageGuy Apr 2, 2026 +9

The news and politics subs are brutal. First step to fixing them is banning clickbait sites like the Daily Beast.

9

RontoWraps Apr 2, 2026 +11

Listnook has just gotten so infested with bots on all the main subs. It’s a real problem and I think it’s self-serving to manipulate user count and growth to influence its trading price. It’s disappointing because I like this platform and social media format but the QA is atrocious.

11

BlackTriceratops Apr 2, 2026 +47

Iran uses CRUSHING ATTACK

47

Electronic-Radio-383 Apr 2, 2026 +16

-130hp US uses Epic Fury Iran goes back into a Pokeball.

16

Schytheron Apr 2, 2026 +24

Iran uses UNREDACTED EPSTEIN FILES IT'S HIGHLY EFFECTIVE!

24

dayglo98 Apr 2, 2026 +1

It is highly effective!

1

StrengthToBreak Apr 2, 2026 +13

See guys? The war us basically over. Nothing to see here.

13

Roselily808 Apr 2, 2026 +89

It's almost like the orange recipient of the esteemed FIFA Peace Prize isn't all that interested in creating and maintaining peace. Of course Iran will retaliate. Why wouldn't they?

89

cartoonist498 Apr 2, 2026 +26

Other charter members of the FIFA Peace Board Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and UAE were even calling yesterday for the war to keep going. Reminds me of those "X days since last accident" signs. It's been ~~1~~ 0 days since the Board of Peace last called for war. You can't make this shit up.

26

7ddlysuns Apr 2, 2026 +4

I hate how they just abuse words

4

Wonderful-Pause1048 Apr 2, 2026 +15

T has no plan and no cards. And as long as he declines advices from experts with knowledge of military strategy and makes his own decisions, there will be no end of this war in sight.

15

twitterfluechtling Apr 2, 2026 +13

> T has no plan and no cards. I'm not so sure. The plan was market manipulation, and it seems that is going great. Iran is just a tool, he doesn't give a shit. If Iran actually attacks US on US ground ("terror" attacks), that's a bonus for Trump: ICE gets re-legitimized, xenophobia spikes, and just wait what he makes of that to push through authoritarian policies and meddling with the midterms.

13

Wonderful-Pause1048 Apr 2, 2026 +2

That's possible; I suspect there's some calculation behind it on P's part, but ultimately, we can't read their mind.

2

toorudez Apr 2, 2026 +2

Trump doesn't need experts. According to RFKJ, he has a molecular understanding of everything and is the smartest person to ever walk the earth.

2

Wonderful-Pause1048 Apr 2, 2026 +2

ohhh, I‘m sooo sorry, I forgot 😱 🙃

2

National-Two2417 Apr 2, 2026 +2

Of course he wanted a peace prize before he gets next year's FIFA 2027 warmonger prize.

2

thordh5 Apr 2, 2026 +2

Because they have absolutely no way to retaliate against the US? I mean they can activate terror cells but that isn't going to do any real damage. At most they could cause enough damage to truly infuriate the citizens of the US which wouldn't be great for Iran either. The fundamental truth of the matter is that American power is rooted in having the strongest military in the world and Iranian power is rooted in the ability to negatively affect the economy of half the world. The US just isn't in that half and Trump doesn't give a single shit about his allies. Iran will retaliate; there isn't any reason not to in an existential battle. It's just that Europe, Asia, and Africa will pay the price. Almost all the damage the US will suffer in this war will be damage to reputation.

2

RoddBanger Apr 2, 2026 +11

Are we cutting wrestling promos?

11

Return0fTheNerd Apr 2, 2026 +4

If so can someone please throw trump off the Hell in a Cell and be done with his lying ass for good? "BAAWGAWD HES BROKEN IN HALF"...

4

Pobbes Apr 2, 2026 +2

Yes, actually. If you consider that is how President Loser views political speech (made up bullsbit that makes his crowd cheer him), and recognize that Iran is just mirroring because it is clearly effective then, yeah, these are wrestling promos.

2

TheZardoz Apr 2, 2026 +2

I mean, the president treats everything like he’s the leader of a heel group. Once you see it in that way a lot of what he does makes more sense to me.

2

Otherwise-Sun2486 Apr 2, 2026 +36

Just crush trump and his family and all his goons

36

SurprisedJerboa Apr 2, 2026 +1

Hopefully they don’t target the Billionaires that put Trump back in office.

1

pabodie Apr 2, 2026 +6

Is anyone else starting to understand what the board of peace is about? It’s a protection racket. Trump is gonna do the smash and grabs just on principle. It has nothing to do with planning. It has nothing to do with anything geopolitical. It’s a global shakedown. Greenland was the threat that he couldn’t follow through on. Venezuela was the first taste. Iran, he thinks is not going to be a quagmire. Cuba he thinks is next. Of course, reality might collide with this four dimensional Queens in 1980s Mafia chess.

6

bbqyak Apr 2, 2026 +2

We still have 3 years to go, who's next after Cuba?

2

pabodie Apr 2, 2026 +3

I mean, IRL we are looking at an emboldened China and Russia. So Taiwan and Poland might interrupt his stupid game.

3

Henry-8th Apr 2, 2026 +18

Trump is a burst arsehole.

18

ppface12 Apr 2, 2026 +11

looks like one as well

11

JimmyTheJimJimson Apr 2, 2026 +9

Interestingly the only way that Americans will actually support this is if there’s some sort of terrorist act on American soil. So, expect that at some point soon. Then everyone will support this orange turd and want an invasion to happen.

9

jaymemaurice Apr 2, 2026 +3

The scariest thing about our timeline can be found in Winston's recounts of the perpetual war between Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia. I have no doubt that the US bombed Iran and also that it will never displace the guerilla forces entrenched. There will not be peace in the middle East. This is by design. Perhaps the biggest unspoken truth in the whole Iranian war situation is that it's actually a propaganda war ON THE Americans BY Americans that Americans who don't know how to fight it or even that they are under attack. There are so many concurrent beliefs about the state of the war - none of which can be verified. In media, everything is a construction thus everything is deliberate. The whole situation, flip flopping on communication etc. is absolutely contributing to a massive wealth and power transfer that does not benefit the common American. So many are focusing on the carrot on a string dropped in front of them that nobody is even able to comprehend where the string goes or what they can do about it.

3

milkonyourmustache Apr 2, 2026 -2

This is an existential war for Iran, they *tried* peace, they negotiated in good faith and their concessions were more than expected, but the US and Israel had no intention of finding peace. Iran *always* had the ability to throttle the world economy via the Strait of Hormuz, but they didn't recklessly exercise it. Even now they're using the Strait to selectively hurt the US and it's allies, it's a strategy to end global US hegemony by ending the petrodollar and the privilieges it brought (near infinite borrowing & money printing) the US has enjoyed and abused.

-2

michaelskott Apr 2, 2026 +22

I get what you’re trying to express, but to pretend like Iran has tried peace and good faith negotiations is just not in line with history. You can take the negotiations of the last 30 years and see that they never live up to their end of the deal. They do whatever they can to stall to try to get nuclear weapons in order to maintain their tyrannical hold over the citizens of Iran. The government of Iran is not the people of Iran.

22

HablarYEscuchar Apr 2, 2026 +1

Of course they want nuclear weapons. They have a right to them, since Israel has them, and they need a deterrent, as we are seeing.

1

ProbingPossibilities Apr 2, 2026

Islamic theocracy that killed 30,000 of their citizens and deliberately bombed civilian targets around the gulf “have a right to nukes”. Dumbest take on the internet today.

0

HablarYEscuchar Apr 3, 2026 +1

El pais que ha atacado a varios países de su entorno, ha hecho un genocidio de 70000 palestinos y subiendo y está empezando otro igual en el Líbano ya las tiene y a nadie parece preocuparle. Tienen el mismo derecho a tenerlas que Israel. Desde el mismo momento en que Israel las tiene.

1

IamEzioKl Apr 2, 2026 +9

You either sponsor terror or you 'negotiate in good faith', it can't be both at the same time.

9

chief_blunt9 Apr 2, 2026 +2

Didn’t they kill like 20-30k protesters like last month. Yea sure they tried peace.

2

milkonyourmustache Apr 3, 2026 +1

That's a strawman? They negotiated for peace with US and Israel, and all reports suggest Iran gave the US & Israel what they wanted & more. How Iran tackles dissent internally is another issue altogether, one which wasn't a concern of the US & Israel. This isn't a conflict to liberate the Iranian people, it's one of middle eastern conquest.

1

MarkRemington Apr 2, 2026

U.S. should've started this war *before* all the Iranians who were angry and brave enough to fight the regime were gunned down. Now all that's left are the regime supporters and cowards.

0

chief_blunt9 Apr 2, 2026 +1

Oh man now the us is getting blamed for not attacking sooner. I love the internet

1

Shitzu_Death Apr 2, 2026 +1

I am crushing your head!

1

crazedizzled Apr 2, 2026 +1

This reminds me of halo with friends back when I was 12 years old. Yikes

1

Throwawaymaybeokay Apr 2, 2026 +1

"I am crushing your head!"

1

TheUkrTrain Apr 2, 2026 +1

I thought trump was having successful negotiations with Iran recently, what happened?

1

SpiritedMolasses4402 Apr 2, 2026 +1

Iran has a right is all I am saying

1

Objective-Clue5087 Apr 2, 2026 +1

Trump started the war and is heavily protected along with his family. Most of us do not want wars, and had no immediate problem with people just because they say they hate us for the last several decades. Yet, we are the ones who will suffer for Trump’s war. Russia is making money again win-win. Israel is using the US to defeat its enemy win-win. Trump makes out, but the American people do not.

1

Responsible_Milk2911 Apr 2, 2026 +1

Oh my god just kiss already

1

Typingdude3 Apr 2, 2026 -8

Translation: Iran's terrorist clerics vow to keep the war going because surrendering means prison or death for them.

-8

gbninjaturtle Apr 2, 2026 +11

Same for our terrorist cultists

11

divot31 Apr 2, 2026

I wish I faith in the department of justice. He'll any department really.

0

Ultra_Metal Apr 2, 2026 -11

Empty threats from a dying regime breathing its last few breaths. They keep threatening the apocalypse but only manage to launch a few rockets and drones every day, most of which get intercepted. Their rate of fire is going down and will soon be zero.

-11

Etjdmfssgv23 Apr 2, 2026 +3

But the straights still closed …

3

Ultra_Metal Apr 2, 2026 -6

No, the regime is letting many ships through and undermining its own strategy.

-6

IShitMyselfNow Apr 2, 2026 +2

> letting many ships through So they're still in control of it? ETA: And haven't Iran's attacks stayed pretty consistent the last 3 weeks?

2

Keeltoodeep Apr 2, 2026 +7

Terrorist attacks on civilian shipping have always controlled choke points. You too can close down your local airport with a couple drones. It’s a bad war strategy and a desperate effort to end the war because it causes a coalition to turn against you. Targeting civilians as a course of war is not going to win you any friends. https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/dozens-countries-discuss-coalition-secure-passage-through-strait-hormuz-2026-04-02/ Also to your ETA. No. Israel saw the lowest volume of missiles on mar 31 and the GCC lowest on Apr 1 I think. I’ll edit for numbers and links. https://x.com/marioleb79/status/2039457381344514411?s=46&t=5cDzFBmJidEH4qu2xcZCgQ Lowest on the GCC was yesterday. https://x.com/marioleb79/status/2039085349930971410?s=46&t=5cDzFBmJidEH4qu2xcZCgQ Lowest launch numbers mar 31 reported targeting Israel.

7

MuTron1 Apr 2, 2026 +1

Why do you think that’s undermining their strategy? The strategy is being able to use their ability to pick and choose which ships get through. They can’t compete with the US and Israel in terms of military might, but they can use their ability to decide which ships get through to force US allies to act against US interests. All it takes is for Iran to demand that the only ships that get through are those that are bound for locations that forbid US military to enter their airspace and not purchased in USD, it’ll hobble the US economy and its ability to project power

1

Fitz911 Apr 2, 2026 -3

Anyone watching the world cup in June?

-3

Iran Vows ‘Crushing’ Attacks on US After Trump Threats

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