Is it weird to kind of take pride in being a people-pleaser?

for me, being helpful feels good, thats just human. the only problem is when you're the only one not on your own priority list. Lowkey the goal isnt to stop people pleasing, it's to be selective about who gets that energy. Not everyone deserves VIP access to your sanity! remember that lol

It isn't weird unless you're putting yourself in dangers. We should love ourselves. We should be helpful towards others but not in a way where you have to be in danger for someone else.

It’s not weird to feel that way but not always a good thing, just look out for yourself please I also had similar tendencies and it did not go well in the long run

I don’t think it’s weird, it makes sense why it feels good. Being helpful and making things easier for people is genuinely a nice trait. I think the problem is when it stops being a choice and starts feeling like something you *have* to do, even when it drains you. That’s when it turns from kindness into pressure. If you can keep that part of you but still have boundaries, that’s kind of the best of both worlds.

I think it's weird to take pride in anything that's not an achievement.

The reason it's unhealthy is because you'll always be putting others before yourself which isn't a good mentality to have. People will constantly take advantage of you if they can tell you're a people pleaser, and you'll start to put yourself in uncomfortable situations just for the sake of other people. You need to put yourself first because no one else will. I've been a people pleaser my whole life and I can't tell you how much I was taken advantage of, especially as a teenager and a young adult. I have only now just started doing what's best for me instead of being concerned about others and I'm in my 30s. Edited for spelling

I take pride in it but it is exhausting and from time to time folks will catch me with my head down and the most sad look they’ve ever seen on my face because my people-pleaser battery has simply run out of its juice for the day and I don’t have enough left in me to even please myself. :/

My phychologist and I had a discussion on this once. I too am a people-pleaser 😅 *not professional advice - just my experience* Her advice and how we worked through it was to redefine the meaning of 'People-pleaser' and name ways this has helped me and ways it has hindered me and to find the balance. People pleasing can be seen as you are kind, friendly and attentive to others needs which is a strong skill for management positions and client services. In my case it also meant avoiding conflict and this has come in handy for internal disputes and being seen as the level headed person. If you do have people in your life or have had situations you can recall, where doing too much for others has made you feel bad or exhausted you mentally and physically - look at setting up proper boundaries that make you feel comfortable. Say no if you have given it some thought and you don't want to do whatever is asked.

I don’t think so! When I describe myself I often say “I enjoy being friendly and accommodating” because I genuinely get a ton of satisfaction out of doing for others. Just don’t people please so hard you come to harm. Just because I’m usually nice doesn’t mean I can’t stand up for myself, and I will not allow someone to exploit my giving nature.

People pleasers don't seek gratitude, they seek approval- which is sad because they're depending on an unreliable world to tell them they have value. People who actively seek gratitude are being manipulative and transactional. They're the ones who end up saying, "After everything I've done for you!"

Not weird at all as it is very common. Speaking from experience I got help to correct it and started out with self help books because it is not serving to you to be a yes person as it can be draining. It is okay to say no sometimes and it is okay to live a life with balance and set boundaries with others including friends and family and by being a people pleaser we don’t get to do that. If someone says jump or asks you to do something you don’t have it to do it in their timing. Do what works for you and your schedule and your joy and your life when it’s convenient for you as that is what is more balanced and normal. Hope that helps, from someone who took years in conquering that.

I don’t know about pride but it makes me feel good too. The world is a very dark place these days and if I can make it even slightly better for some people then I’m ok with small sacrifices here and there I take care of my needs* when I’m by myself at night which is more than enough for me *I realized that sounds pretty sexual but that’s not how I meant it. I just meant I do things that make me happy

nah you’re not weird, i get it. there’s something kinda nice about making people happy and getting that “thank u” vibe, even if it drains you a bit. just don’t forget to refill your own tank too

Basically, because doctors make decisions, while insurers make coverage decisions. The doctor decides what you need, the insurer decides what they'll pay for. Not the same role, even though it affects the outcome.

It's lose-win, so people feel sorry for you.