Is there a personality trait about yourself that you recognize is bad, you loathe, but are also unable to change? If so, what is it?

I take things personally even when I know they weren’t personal. Like logically, I get it. Emotionally, I’m already in the shower replaying it and winning the argument 6 hours later.

I catch myself not actually listening to what someone is saying, but just waiting for a gap in the conversation so I can say the thing I’ve already prepared in my head. I hate it because it’s selfish and dismissive, but my brain just goes into autopilot mode during social interactions and it's a nightmare to switch off.

I'm a dreamer. An ideas person. Starter, not a finisher. Lazy. I hyper commit to something for a short period of time until I get bored and move on. Games, business ideas, novels, subjects of interest. I become all consumed by them for a few weeks and then just never finish anything. I can plan it, come up with infrastructure, create the scaffolding, and then just... Stop. I'm naturally disorganised in general but weirdly meticulous with planning and building a framework. Just not filling it with anything or finishing the job, so to speak.

Being unorganized. I have add and wish I could change it, medicine helps but I’ll never be how I want it to be

I cant initiate/maintain friendships. I am a lot of fun. I do cool things often. When in a group, I can thrive. But once I go home, thats it. No texting. No calling. No planning the next event. Nothing.

I can get quite unpleasant if something unexpected happens.

Need for approval or validation… haha… right guys????? Right?

Maybe it’s just depression or adhd, but having an awful executive function. Just getting myself to DO anything, for example I have a TV console I just bought and it’s been sitting in its box for 2 weeks now. It’s not laziness I swear to god, but it sure as shit looks like it. Sometimes prescriptions get sent back because I can’t get myself to go and pick them up like it’s awful and greatly affects my quality of life but no matter what I have tried nothing changes

Not sure if this is a personality trait or a mental illness but I avoid things.

A.D.D. paralysis- a state of feeling overwhelmed, frozen, or unable to act, often caused by an overload of tasks, decisions, or emotions. Unlike typical procrastination, this "shutdown" response is often involuntary, stemming from the ADHD brain’s difficulty in prioritizing and executive functioning. It often manifests as task paralysis, choice paralysis, or mental fog

I get angry for no reason. Anything can set me off.

I overthink, underact, and then regret both...

I’m lazy, smoke too much weed, don’t exercise, horrible hygiene, eat garbage food, skip meds, bad memory, don’t actively listen, moody, selfish, obsessive about small things, too much screen time, don’t sleep, always tired, major procrastinator, not productive at work, blow money on stupid shit, no savings, credit card debt…should I keep going? Most of this is likely due to epilepsy, and undiagnosed ADHD.

I overthink everything… even things that haven’t happened yet

I’ve never been good with

I’m way too judgmental. The only caveat is I don’t ever let my thoughts become words and have it affect the person. Still not great

I can be bossy and moody

Procrastinating things that I WANT to do. I once spent two hours scrolling on Instagram while I keep telling myself “okay, time to hop on Minecraft after this one!” and then I scroll anyway. Partially social media addiction partially ADHD not making that first thing any better

I ruminate, particularly over the past.

Lmao I'm a f****** doormat. Physically and mentally abused as a child, so I'm absolutely desperate to maintain the peace, even if it means tolerating a LOT of abuse. I've been cheated on twice, because I absolutely refused to confront it and potentially have a difficult conversation. I'm an absolute chicken shit when it comes to any type of confrontation because I learned at a young age that it didn't end well to try and stand up for yourself. Forty years later and it still takes a LOT for me to finally react to something. I'm sure there's a medical term for it.

I'm bad at maintaining willpower. Diets, workout plans, growing out my hair, I end up bailing after a while. I get bored or sad and it stops mattering to me.

Being too attached to a single person , it's like a really really shitty thing

Procrastination. I put everything off until the very last minute.

I lack critical thinking

I realised i kinda have two that especially together, are absolutely toxic. Im a vengeful person, and im patient.

I have a chip on my shoulder about things that I feel like I deserve but don’t have, often when deep down I know that I haven’t *actually* done anything to deserve it

I say so many things I regret and don’t know how to stop. I wish I were better at saying the right answer,

I'm very petty and narcisstic

Overthinking everything to the point I ruin my own peace:/

I overthink everything to the point where even my own thoughts start arguing with me and somehow, they never lose.

ADHD comes with explosive anger issues sometimes Mix that with being 6’6” tall and built like a linebacker with resting b**** face I accidentally terrified an entire tattoo parlor a couple of weeks ago when I was joking with my wife about making me wait even longer because she decided to do something extra without warning me I swear to God, I thought they were gonna call the cops on me the looks I got. Now imagine if I actually yelled and got physical, all I did was raise my voice

I’m too honest. And I involve myself in other people’s drama, legitimately because I want to help, and get burned every single time. 

I hate my tendency to shut people out. I give off this false impression that i’m so amazing but the truth is i’m barely keeping it together. And i’m one more suicidal thought session away from completely snapping.

Im very much as cynic. I'm very hesitant to see the best in people/trust them because in my experience, strangers are often the ones to laugh at/judge me. And im horrifically shy in certain situations. I don't dance at most parties (concerts i will) or sing unless im in my car or purposefully do it off key. Id rather cheer the brave people on.

I don't care much about my health. Any reactions are viewed as "ah, well, guess I shouldn't do that"

I'm lazy. I hate it but it's so hard to change because...that's effort and see previous statement.

Self loathing.

My forgetfulness. I thought it would get better when I quit smoking, and it did a bit, but I am still a silly goose and things slip from my thoughts pretty easily. I tend to compensate with alarms, my calendar and tons of notes to myself.

I'm self centered, usually only worried about myself and my own struggles to the point of ignoring clear signs of distress and cries for help in my friends. That being said, I'm not saying I'd let them hurt themselves if I knew they were going to, but I'll ignore stuff like them asking if they can talk to me about something important because I know I'll zone out and not pay attention. If I try to ve supportive, it sounds/feels disingenuous and fake.

I don’t care. I have to force myself to act the way I think I’m supposed to in situations rather than having no emotions.

I have a crazy amount of imposter syndrome. I have no doubt it’s slowing down my career a bit. I’m confident in what I HAVE done, but not in what I COULD do.

I hold on to grudges and slights against me. Comes from people taking their anger out on me while I was growing up, and not apologizing for it. And no one willing to admit guilt over it, treating me like the aggressor for even being offended by it. I learned to carry that deep inside.

I have a hard time initially connecting with children. I want to, so I say and do the same things I see other people do successfully but it’s like the children sense something in me. I can’t seem to keep them engaged. Once I know a child I am totally locked in with them and we get along great. Like my nephews. But I can’t get the trick with kids I don’t know well. And everyone says people who are good with kids are special. I try so hard to be that way!

Being able to tell someone when they did something that bothers me. My ex would become violent (didn't hit me tho) whenever I told him something that bothered me so now I am absolutely terrified to tell anyone when they do something that bothers me. I know it's not anyone's job to fix me or tip toe around me, and I know I'm being toxic by secretly being upset about stuff and not speaking about it, but I would need extensive therapy to fix it which I cannot afford

Impatient

I used to stress eat big time. I am still working on it, but I know it's there, so I need to be super careful.

I’m loud! I laugh loudly and I’m always laughing! It’s too much for some.

I'm fairly selfish to and have very low empathy for people I do not care for (read : outside of family and friends). That being said, I don't loathe it. But I do recognize it's bad.

Being hard to love.

So many things.

I argue just to argue. Not that I argue for no reason, but If I know Im right, I will argue with someone about things that don't really matter to me. And I know this because I can be deep deep deep into an argument and as soon as the other person acknowledges that either Im correct or they're not as correct as they thought, I immediately lose all interest in continuing the debate. Like they could end up "winning" after that for all I care, as long we both acknowledge either Im right or you're wrong. It's a trait that has caused a lot of unnecessary problems in my romantic life (If I wasn't traditionally handsome, it might've prevented any romantic relationships at all if im honest), and online has fucked up my blood pressure, possibly irrevocably.

Being inquisitive like I get it asking so many questions a day can be overwhelming for some people but it’s just how my brain works, I can’t control it

I am extremely self-conscious. I’ve been like this since I can remember, and I kept thinking it will get better as I age, but I’m 46 now and there’s no end in sight. Part of it is also that I’m very self-aware, which is normally a good thing, but of course I take it to another level.

Responding to texts. I just keep pushing it off, "later" becomes "tomorrow" and next thing I know it's been weeks/months/years. I know it's a****** behavior but I just can't stop.

In relationships, ignoring red flags and running on false hope. I can excuse bad behavior for nearly everything even though I know it's not in my best interest.

I push away anyone who disagrees with me. IDGAF if I've known them for years. Not really sure how I fix it. But I'm really good at purging people from my life....too good.

Getting into petty back and forths on Listnook.

I am very, and I mean very apathetic towards people who are not in the immediate circle of people I care about, and if you leave my circle, my concern for you dissipates quickly. Including immediate family. I was not this way when I was younger, but made this transition during my time in the military and I have been unable to break it. I am well aware of this and make a conscious effort to engage with people to work and show care/concern about them daily. Sometimes I am successful, most times I am not...

I know exactly what I need to do and then just… don’t do it. Health, fitness, admin, all of it. The knowledge is there. The gap between knowing and doing is where I live most of the time. I’ve gotten better at not beating myself up about it though. That used to make it worse. Now I just try to make the next small thing easy enough that I actually do it.

Oversharing, always trying to make people laugh, persistent fear that I’m disliked.

I can't stop building things at 3 AM instead of sleeping. My wife gave up asking me to come to bed. I know it's destroying my health but the quiet hours when nobody needs anything from me are the only time my brain actually works

I have anger issues, born from my self loathing and depression. I don't know if I'm unable to change... I'm trying, I'm trying really hard, everyday, to just... Not let my frustrations and anger get the better of me. I have a daughter, and I don't want her to be scared of her Dad and his mood swings...

When I meet a new person, they start at a 100 for me. I'd do anything for that friendship, go out of my way for their happiness, remember random things they mention, and squirrel it away in my brain to do something for them later. But from that 100, it's a countdown, and even the very human/selfish things they do makes their score decrease for me. And I won't mention it till I'm fully apathetic towards them, and then I cut them off. Most people warm up to people, I cool off of people. I think it's called "New doll" or some such. I get a new doll and play with it till it let's me down. So weird.

I interrupt people all the time, have been doing it since I was a kid. It’s so rude and I’ve tried so hard to change it and I’m better than I used to be but I still do it.

I cry when I’m angry. I hate it, it takes away from how the other person views my feelings.

My “personality trait” is something that is inextricably tied to my disability. I’m Autistic, and sometimes I say or do things that make other people uncomfortable, and I don’t always have the foresight to see the potential outcome or the ability to see their discomfort after the fact. They just end up walking away eventually and they stop talking to me. So then I infer that I did something wrong, and so I stop talking to them, because I never meant to make them uncomfortable in the first place, I just wanted to talk and interact with people cause I’m really outgoing. I hate that my disability impacts every relationship, friendship, job, etc… People assume that I’m too immature to handle input or feedback from them, or they aren’t straight-forward. They beat around the bush, assuming I can infer whatever it is they want when I can’t. I hate every ounce of it, and I hate that I’ll never get rid of it.

I just generally dislike myself and don't wish to deal with people but have a craving for conversations, friendship and connection. I feel I do not deserve that so I am an avid a****** to everyone

I’m pretty vain about my looks.

Being afraid to be fearless and bold with confidence without over thinking.

Throwing back the energy i receive. Or when someone disrespects me i go into no f mode and shit down all my feelings

I speak firmly so people assume I am on defense mode all the time but that’s just my personality. 😫

I hate how much attention I get from my noticeably gigantic hog

Procrastination

Uh... Being me?

My phobia of elevators. Sometimes taking the stairs is inconvenient or exhausting but I'd take it over being in an opaque moving box with no view of the outside world.

If I dissappear into problem solving mode I forget I'm actually dealing with people and not pieces of a puzzle. I see how I can help someone achieve their stated objectives, but don't stop to consider the ramifications of the solution and how the process makes them feel. It doesn't always lead to problems and sometimes people are grateful, but I've also inadvertently made people cry or shut down. I dislike that I lose empathetic perspective and forget about the entire human being with their own agency. I genuinely try to help.

I'm quite morally strict. Mostly, that's a good thing, but it can make it difficult in social situations.

I have a rude tone of voice. People started pointing this out to me pretty late in life, in college. I started to be hyper aware of my tone and how I say certain phrases and words, or even my approach. Having a resting b**** face doesnt help either. I try to give comedic responses to mask that at time and it'll turn out like deadpan jokes. I also will talk excessively at times to mask it. Ive been working on this for 10 years but even last year my Co worker pointed this out saying I sounded rude and bossy at one point. I profusely apologized to her and explained all this to her. Now I am even more mindful especially with the new hires whom I usually train.

I push beyond my boundaries and give too much for people I care about without saying anything, then get disappointed when they don’t do the same 🫠

I am arrogant and lazy.

Organization and planning. I wish I could be one of those people that has everything organized and tidy but I can't no matter how hard I try.

Being quiet

I can't talk to people unless it's about a clearly defined topic in a clearly defined setting. I'm a teacher, and everything to do with the students and even parent-teacher-conferences are not a problem at all, I like those conversations, they're structured and usually easy. But small talk with colleagues in the teacher's room? Can't do it. I have nothing interesting to say to them, and what they talk about is completely alien to me. I'll rattle forever if you ask me about games or movies but casual small talk, my brain just shuts off. As a consequence there are 3 people I'd call friends, one of whom I married. I have long suspected that I may be autistic in some way (there are other signs too) but it feels weird trying to get that diagnosis at 41.

I hate how I overthink everything to the point it steals my peace, and even knowing it’s toxic, I still catch myself doing it like it’s second nature.

procrastination. i see the deadline comin and just... stare at it. the dedication to avoidin my own life is doin heavy lifting

Procrastinating

My default probability expectation is if its worse for me, it will happen, no matter how rare it could be. Even though historically, I have relied on luck when I really needed it and gotten through some serious pitfalls relatively unscathed. So I have data that says otherwise, yet I still think that way.

Pretty bad procrastinator. I can let my intrusive thoughts really take my mood down. I internalize and blame myself for everyone bad mood. So if my wife is mad about something that happened at work for whatever reason I think it’s my fault.

A few, in fact.

I overthink. I think about things that don’t deserve that many hours of thought, when another human unburdened by that trait might just make the decision and move on.

"Unable to change" is not a thing. The brain can always be rewired. It may take a long time with in-depth cognitive training, but it is always possible to change.

Oh yeah. Off the top of my head, I have quite an avoidant personality and are awful at dealing with conflict, I get stressed fairly easily, I have social anxiety, I procrastinate, I have imposter syndrome but I also know that I'm lazy. Could probably go on.

Addictive personality/genetics/whatever you want to call it. I don't know how to stop-with anything I Like. Luckily, i am addicted to weed. Unfortunately, I am addicted to weed. It's not fun. I take everything personally, although I know that in 90 percent of the cases, it's not. But emotionaly, I can not deal in an adult manner with this. I Always crumble. And that was even before weed.

trust issues, istg I'll be on my d***h bed and still have it

my OCD

Blunt

Not being willing to share my troubles with others because I'm not important and I see helping others with their own problems as being of the utmost importance. The lack of self value will actually kill other people's trust in you, and they'll never actually ask you about it because I don't f****** know... They're not used to asking(?) or getting a response that doesn't minimize your feelings, so resentment is bred on both sides where the person who does all of the supporting but none of the complaining will feel like they can't talk to anyone because nobody should have to take on their burdens. While if i have to guess, the person who gets all of the support ...maybe they realize that the other person doesn't tell them anything and assumes they aren't trusted? Even though they never ask lol. This is a pattern I have been trying to break for years, but it's really f****** hard to do. Because like, I really don't want to burden people even if I've learned over the years that in friendships you have to take on each other's shit to keep trust alive it's UGH IT'S REALLY HARD because I'm not even like a real person most of the time lol.

Im very bad at keeping in contact with people. I dont know how many times I've had a friend or colleague move away or change jobs and we say "Dont be a stranger" but then I never reach out. Missing people doesn't come naturally. It's like dysfunctional object permanence but with people. Though I'm a champ at connecting like there was never distance or time when I see people again, even years later. 

I'm super f****** lazy.

Overthinking. I know the answer in 5 minutes but I'll spend 3 days analyzing it anyway.

Anxiety equaling no filter and over talking in social settings. And interrupting- I have to work really hard not to interject. And I get negative and doom and gloom.

I’m I’m feeling miserable, I’m bad at hiding it

I'm very cynical. When I see people posting or responding to posts that sound like total bullshit, I feel like I have to call them out. It doesn't solve or change anything, but I just can't stop myself from saying something. There's one sub I'm in that a person posts basically the same thing every day. Its stupid information that doesn't do anyone any good, but I still rag on them for posting it when I could just scroll on by.

I often speak over people and i want to stop. Trouble is I know where the conversation is headed and it's my impatience that causes this.

I wish I wasn’t so f****** insecure, jealous, and/or had any but of self esteem. It’s been ruining my life and relationships for as long as I can remember.

I can be insecure and needy.

My temper. Mostly, it’s verbal duputes. Sometimes I wish I can see myself in third person and tell myself to chill out. I’m easy to get along with but around certain people I just can help myself.

The rigidity and unable-to-let-go-ism of my autism. I really really wish I wasn’t like this.

I loathe my self-loathe…

I’m usually right, usually ahead of you, and terribly impatient. It understandably makes people feel like I don’t listen, think they are dumb, or I am disagreeing, but I’m actually usually agreeing with the point they haven’t thought of yet, but will get to shortly. This would all be manageable if not for the impatience.

My social anxiety. I don’t like going out and seeing people, and would rather talk thru a phone. It really bites me when it comes to going to the gym, I have only been able to go a handful of times.

Hey OP. I’m a 49 year old married father of two. My most negative personality trait is that I’m bitchy as all hell and retain grudges forever. I’m honestly like a teenage girl when I get going with my acidic bitchy tongue. I don’t like it about myself one bit.

the thought that i didnt choose the best option, makes it much harder to appricate things i already have

Breaking promises, so being a liar

Smoke cigs, get angry but cant call people out. People pleaser to a fault. Hate working. Start a lot of hobbies then move on. Cling too hard to partners. Dont cling hard enough to friends.

I feel guilty about EVERYTHING and dwell constantly about things that happened years ago. Yes I’m in therapy. Yes it helps. But this trait isn’t going anywhere, just gotta learn to rein it in.

I ocd ruminate and obsessively think about people. I also hate that I stop responding to people then ghost them or answer weeks or months later just cause idk how to end a conversation properly

I feel like I need to help anyone that struggles. I can't stop it, and if I don't help it eats at me. It also saps my energy, causes me to be overworked, and puts everyone's problems on my plate.

I ghost people all the time. It's a huge source of shame for me.

I go to the gym/exercise four times per week. I have done this for nearly 10 years, after I decided I needed to get my act together in my mid-to-late 30’s after a lifetime of no exercise. I do three days weights and one day cardio. I’ve only ever missed sessions due to genuine illness or if I’m away from home for a few days. However, although I made very good progress at the gym with both building muscle and losing a significant amount of weight, I have to *force* myself to get out of the house every. single. time. I become the world’s best procrastinator, finding all sorts of random shit that must be done before I can leave the house to go to the gym or for a jog. I’m doing it now. I should have gone out the door over half an hour ago but I simply had to fold some clothes first, then check Listnook (!?). I *know* I am going to exercise so there’s no point delaying it. I *know* that dragging my heels is simply stealing quality time away from myself that I could be enjoying post-workout, instead of kicking myself about my flawless procrastination. But I still do it. Four times a week.

I hate that I’m so compassionate—I feel sympathy and empathy for everyone, even ex-offenders. It’s the same with this “urge” to help. It’s like I’m always in a rush, but if I see someone struggling, I’ll approach them and ask if they need help. I can’t help it. I’ve tried to change, but now I’ve accepted that it’s my nature… even though sometimes it feels like a nightmare 😊

I have a difficult relationship with my mother, and she doesn’t take note of me saying I need space, me actively ignoring her and showing I need more space, and she continues to hound me for attention and closeness I don’t want, when backing off would achieve more. I absolutely hate this. Yet in my dating life, I turn into her. I badger people I am interested in for attention, push to hang out, to get more intimate, to have emotional closeness. Without fail, it backfires, and I hate when I notice myself doing this. Yet I can’t seem to stop. It makes me very unhappy as I seem to be constantly sabotaging my own chances AND imitating my mother’s behaviour which I hate.

1. I make excuses to myself to justify my drinking. 2. Unless I am really intentional about catching myself doing it, I find myself feeling almost obligated to have an opinion on everything. I think it's a behavior from my work. I literally get paid to have opinions so if I'm a wallflower I'm not doing my job. So I have to remind myself in my personal life it's OK to simply say I have no opinion and I don't give a shit about this. 3. I absolutely love the feeling after I'm done doing a big cleaning of my house. I feel super accomplished, everything feels so fresh and clean and comfortable and I promise myself I'm gonna keep it clean. Then a week later I'm looking around wondering how it looks like a bomb went off in my house. 4. I frequently by Exercise related things telling myself I'm going to get in shape. Then the thing has come and they just sit there. Why? Because when it comes to exercising, I'm just flat out lazy. I don't know what the hell it is about exercising but I just absolutely hate it. But I can do other physical activity and not hate it like doing yardwork. It's kind of strange. 5. I have a very low tolerance threshold for disrespect, being lied to or somebody not taking accountability. I've cut many people out of my life entirely, even immediate family over it. I am constantly told I am overreacting but I have to be honest with myself and the honest truth is I don't think I am. I just think way too many people have normalized tolerating unhealthy levels of disrespect either because they are just people pleasers or they just lack the courage to pull the trigger on shutting somebody out. Nothing more important than self-respect. So I stand by my decisions but it does lead to a lot of dead relationships which isn't always fun. 6. When I encounter a situation where the evidence I have observed makes me think somebody did something wrong or dishonest, I tend to more or less just confront them and say why did you do XYZ instead of explaining my observations and ask them for their side of the story. It's bit me in the ass a few times and there was a really good reason for XYZ that was totally innocent and not some nefarious story that I told myself. The list could go on. We're all works in progress. Having this self-awareness to recognize these things that is what makes us all able to work on them.

I'm selfish. I think about isolating myself even when I know people just want to spend time and share some smiles with me. I'd rather hole up with music that makes me depressed as hell. Like that's the only true thing I wanna feel is my heart being ripped out over and over again.

Bipolar

I'm in love with love. And that's not good. It hurts the people I meet. And ultimately, it hurts me too. So, to make it stop, I no longer go near the opposite sex. I hope wisdom will find me, otherwise I will persist in my chastity.

I procrastinate on literally everything even when I know it will stress me out later. I'll have weeks to do something and still wait until the last possible moment. The anxiety of rushing is way worse than just doing it early would have been but I keep repeating the same pattern over and over.

My go to reaction to things is “that I’m not worth this persons time.” Or “I’m not good enough to do this task.” The mental gymnastics I do is so much fun, which makes me look for reassurance and that turns into me thinking I’m needy and annoying. It’s a vicious circle. I’m working on changing it.

When I get angry at one thing.. im angry at everything.. :(

I never had any real ambition and never could stick at anything fir long. Also, I can't handle conflict and avoid it like the plague.

there are not a lot of people who make me genuinely annoyed to be around, and this is a positive thing. when I do meet them, I'm pretty good at just disengaging and avoiding, which is also, imo, a positive thing. the actual problem is that if I am in a position where I can't disengage, like at a work meeting or like meeting someone's new partner, I have 0 natural defenses. I can just *feel* myself becoming such an a******, even when it's completely uncalled for. sometimes a personality just rubs me the wrong way and that's not anybody's fault! but my mouth gets away from me even when I'm consciously trying to stay polite and that really sucks

I am very proud and judgmental.

I am an absolute know it all

I assume worst case scenario all the time. It makes it difficult for me to relaxed until I am 100% sure something turned out okay. It makes every event and interaction hell.

Very low self esteem/self worth. It's f****** crippling. I know exactly why I'm the way I am... but have no idea how to change it. Every 'success' or bit of 'progress' - even multiple such instances - can be completely undone with just one failure, one rejection, one instance of being left out. It sucks.

I tend to interrupt people. I really try not to, but sometimes I just get overly excited in my head and interrupt.

I'm too trusting in people and it makes me vulnerable

A hate and anger colouring my consciousness permanently. Its exhausting and shit.

I'm very naive

I interrupt A LOT. I really try not to, but I have (medicated adhd) and just can’t control this. It’s usually when I get to the end of the idea before the speaker. I hate it so much.

I am easy to despair and self-sabotage as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I try to stay hopeful but at the same time I just want to stop trying.

i'll spend 3 hours researching the perfect solution and then do nothing about it