Married people, what stood out about your partner that made you decide that they were your person?

they wanted to be around me, even when i had nothing to give, not rush forward or hold back, they just wanted to BE there, with me.

His character- he’s a really good man and I knew that whenever I truly needed him he’d be there and he always tries to do the right thing. I want my kids to have a dad like that.

We could talk for hours and easily make each other laugh. 25 years later, that is still true. Comming up on our 19th Anniversary. Feels like one long conversation we’ve been having since we were 14.

It didn't feel like a decision but a recognition that I had met my wife. I knew as clearly as if she'd had a big sign reading Wife over her head. Grass is green. Fur is soft. She is my wife. These are things I knew with equal confidence. 

Probably the thought that if I could change my life, I probably still wouldn't, because that means I might not have ever met them, and that's a life I don't want to see.

We’d been together a few years, living together for two when COVID happened. Suddenly, he was the only person I saw and interacted with in person, almost exclusively, but it wasn’t annoying. It was mostly just… fun. Like being at summer camp just us and our dogs. I was super worried about a bunch of stuff of course but when it was enjoyable to spend so much time with one person and not suffocating, I knew I could marry him. There was a moment during that time when I was spiraling about the possible end of the world, and he looked at me with a confused look and so earnestly asked why I worried about things I couldn’t control. He has this golden retriever energy that is such a salve to my existential anxiety.

I could picture my life with her and I was happy with that life.

She was a good mother and she wanted to be the mother of my babies, so I married her, adopted her daughter and knocked her up. Best decision I ever made.

He has a heart of gold and I’ve never met anyone genuinely that good hearted.

Everybody else I dated made me nervous; her presence has always been soothing and calming. EDIT: this isn't a negative statement about my exes, btw. But there's a difference between a woman who makes me feel like "oh man I hope she's impressed with me" and one who makes me feel like I don't need to work to impress her. That safe feeling like it's okay to let my guard down, okay to show weakness and vulnerability, that I could fail in front of her and she'll still love me just the same -- I've only ever gotten that feeling from one woman.

Honestly, we met young. I had previous relationships that didnt commit to me so I thought the same would happen with him. He stood firm and stayed with me. We are going into our 18th year together. I can't see my life without him.

He made me a better person. Not because he tried to change me, but because of who he is. There’s something in the way he shows up, in the way he treats people, that made me want to be better… to rise to that same level of goodness. I admire him for his character, his heart, the quiet strength he carries. And through it all, he loves me unconditionally… even in the moments when I don’t feel like my best self.

She was a hard worker and kind. 20 years later and life is great (she is still a hard worker and kind). If you have hard work and kindness you can overcome anything.

I felt safe with him. Like I could be 100% myself and nothing I did would make him stop loving me. (I also thought he was hot, funny, etc. but it was the feeling of safety that sealed the deal.)

Big heart. Put MY daughter first. I didnt have to explain to him she was more important he just kind of fell into that father figure role and now hes her dad after being together 6 yrs. And we have another baby together too. Hes such a good dad. And smart. And funny. And talented. Lol. Those are just bonuses. 🥰

His capability to handle things and to be a masculine protective and loving man

It was the first time I felt completely safe

I couldn’t shake him off. I tried distancing myself and doing all of my Immature dating drama BS. Self-Sabotage and inability to feel comfortable being close to someone. He just stuck solidly by me and let me know he would be there when I decided to trust it. 

Sense of humor, intelligence and depth of character. 35 years later he still makes me laugh. We often still stay up way too late talking for hours.

I'm autistic. He is the only person I know whose company I can tolerate indefinitely without feeling the need to withdraw and recharge my social batteries. Also, he's the person I admire the most in my life.

Made me laugh daily.

He's so thoughtful and reserved, and I wanted to spend my life luring him out of his shell

Maybe it’s cliche, but he understood and still understands me like no one else. I don’t have to explain my reasoning for most things, compromises don’t feel like a loss, and he just gets me.

She treats me like I hung the moon and likes to f*** me. 10/10 would marry again.

I caught him flipping my journal closed. I had left it on the table to go get a drink and I saw him close it when he sat down so that he wouldn't accidentally see anything.

He quoted Good Night Moon to me. (We were both parents of teens at the time)

Soon after we started dating she went away on a trip and the thought of not seeing her again depressed me. I knew then. Together 26 years this coming August.

He had a job. j/k this is an inside joke with my husband because it’s VERY true for both of us, and on mid-marriage inspection, it was both of our bottom line first checkpoint because our previous mates were unemployable. To quote my husband, “it seemed you were able to keep a job and be somewhat desirable to employers.”

Love reading all the comments, gives me hope.

On our first date, she said to me "I feel like you don't like me" and I was touched by how honest and vulnerable she was with me right out the gate.

After ending up in bed together within an hour of meeting each other later that same summer my now wife and I went on a ten hour road trip together to an SCA event in Kamloops Canada. We conversed, back and forth about life values, the ENTIRE trip. I knew she was the one. She had relationship trauma from her parents divorcing when she was a teenager and also her own previous relationships so it took a bit longer to finally convince her, to marry me, but we had already admitted to each other that we were falling in love with each other on an entirely different trip that same summer.

He's really smart and he also thinks I'm really funny 

He loves me fo me any size any stress he just love me more everyday

Not being able to answer this question is one of the reasons I'm getting divorced.

The way I could be completely myself around them and still feel deeply loved.

Huge t***

I met him on the apps. He literally just chatted with me for an entire month before we met. Just got to know each other, chatting like friends. No sexual weirdness, no uncomfortable pictures, no pressure. Then we did finally meet, he felt familiar, like being home

My husband was so sensitive to all my needs.

Being 100% on the same page

When we did stuff with our common friend group, we just meshed in ways that the rest of the group didn't with either of us. And she's the most intelligent woman I've ever met.

Her brains and wit. One day she came to me and read a German poem (badly, she had no German) about 7 roses in a garden. She saw the beauty without understanding the words. I knew then that I would need to marry this girl. And I did.

I remember the moment I wanted to marry my now wife, we were just chilling on the couch, been living together for 2 years now, and everything was just so pleasant. I didn’t think I’d ever find such peace with someone else, and so we got married and now expecting our first child and things are still as calm as ever.

Long legs, a great sense of humor, and a high sex drive