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Announcements Apr 1, 2026 at 12:28 AM

Men of Listnook: If you could trade an inch for an inch (height/length), would you? What would you change?

Posted by MajesticChain7940

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JimJam28 Apr 1, 2026 +6667
Can I trade girth for girth? If so, then slim me down and chud me up, hoss.
6667
Carribean-Diver Apr 1, 2026 +2547
Hung like a trashcan lid.
2547
Jak_Atackka Apr 1, 2026 +722
They used to call him Ol' Hubcap
722
Antoak Apr 1, 2026 +223
The  "Hubble Microscope"
223
crowmagnuman Apr 1, 2026 +42
I just woke up my whole family laughing at this lol
42
MyBlueBlazerBlack Apr 1, 2026 +23
"Ey there Cappyyyyy!" 
23
soggyballsack Apr 1, 2026 +70
More like a tuna can.
70
Ubermenschbarschwein Apr 1, 2026 +20
He can’t touch the bottom of the tuna can. But he will rip the sides out.
20
Mrlin705 Apr 1, 2026 +5
Like a cheese wheel
5
Dale_Cooper47 Apr 1, 2026 +175
>slim me down and chud me up, hoss. Not all was lost in Alexandria
175
RemotePotatoe Apr 1, 2026 +221
"Slim me down and chub me up, hoss" When they said they should have sent a poet, this is what they hoped for.
221
Maverick_OP Apr 1, 2026 +17
Call it "The Slab"
17
4LostSoulsinaBowl Apr 1, 2026 +32
"Like a cheese wheel"
32
F1-Radster-1989 Apr 1, 2026 +7
It ain’t long, but it’s skinny!
7
longpenisofthelaw Apr 1, 2026 +10
“I want to look less like a chud and have more chub”
10
rekone88 Apr 1, 2026 +3
The ol' tuna can
3
TolMera Apr 1, 2026 +393
How humanity evolved into worms
393
Ohioisapoopyflorida Apr 1, 2026 +7176
Im 6' I would like to be 2 feet tall with a 51" d*** please
7176
haslotsofkids Apr 1, 2026 +1568
Wait so your d*** is 3”?
1568
UserNameSupervisor Apr 1, 2026 +1450
Your math checks out, and the man said what he said. So, yes.
1450
cant_have_nicethings Apr 1, 2026 +214
He said what he said and the math was checked many times over. Years later some of us would recall the moment we learned of the man’s 3 inch d*** and its 51 inch ambitions always striving to grow, to be better, in vain. Such a fruitless, familiar battle.
214
bonus_situation426 Apr 1, 2026 +29
I read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice
29
SoCalThrowAway7 Apr 1, 2026 +175
I was told there wouldn’t be fact checking
175
Then_Supermarket18 Apr 1, 2026 +31
Is 3" unusual? Asking for a lonely man
31
bguzewicz Apr 1, 2026 +36
Nope. In fact, some would say that 3” is the biggest dicks get. There’s no such thing as a d*** larger than 3”.
36
Alarming-Instance-19 Apr 1, 2026 +10
Never fear my guy, there are plenty of other pleasures to be shared beyond the shallower depths of penetration. Focus on what you can control and be a master of many delights.
10
New-Adhesiveness-822 Apr 1, 2026 +10
It’s more the *deeper* depths of penetration that he’s missing out on, not the shallower depths 😅
10
Tigereyesxx Apr 1, 2026 +12
Thats called a Cocktail Sausage..
12
vw_bugg Apr 1, 2026 +11
That's not what your mom called it. 😏
11
PM_me_Henrika Apr 1, 2026 +7
Length, girth, or diameter?
7
styrofoamladder Apr 1, 2026 +11
Yes
11
PM_me_Henrika Apr 1, 2026 +6
That guy is so screwed
6
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +123
😆 2feet tall would be some short pants. Where you gonna put that thing?
123
rhinokick Apr 1, 2026 +243
Wrap it around my waist and use it as a belt.
243
Silk_Glad Apr 1, 2026 +58
Like a saiyin?
58
haseo2222 Apr 1, 2026 +17
How do you think vegeta become so short?
17
immoloism Apr 1, 2026 +6
#IT'S OVER NINE INCHES
6
RedditGarboDisposal Apr 1, 2026 +3
*Like three Saiyans lined up*
3
ApprehensiveWalk4 Apr 1, 2026 +28
His D*** to Floor is practically negative.
28
optosser Apr 1, 2026 +14
Theta D approaching zero...
14
100KUSHUPS Apr 1, 2026 +5
Slithering with it like a snake since his legs are not touching the ground anymore.
5
legendov Apr 1, 2026 +6
He'd look like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland
6
csfanatic123 Apr 1, 2026 +9
"Middle out!"
9
nutano Apr 1, 2026 +58
Ha, funny, cause I am 2 feet tall and have a 54" d*** and would like to have a 3" d*** and be 6 feet tall.
58
ancalime9 Apr 1, 2026 +44
Danny Devito?
44
MP-The-Law Apr 1, 2026 +18
Call this man a barnacle with his length to p**** ratio
18
Morgasshk Apr 1, 2026 +9
Lmao. Made me think of the fucked up genie joke wanting his d*** to touch the floor, so made him 2 foot tall.
9
Charlie24601 Apr 1, 2026 +8
A dwarf walks into a brothel and books time with a girl. They held into a room and in a minute, there is scream and the girl comes running out. The other girls gather round and ask if she's OK. "His...his d***! It's over 3 feet long!" The other girls enter the room and see the short fellow sitting at the edge of the bed. Sure enough, its almost as long as he is! "Can we touch it?", the girls ask. "Yes. But no sucking. I used to be 5 foot 8."
8
Pathetian Apr 1, 2026 +2318
What happens if I give up all my height to become a 7ft long p****?
2318
SenoraObscura Apr 1, 2026 +920
As soon as your d*** is taller than you are you swap places. It becomes the man and you become the p****. You spend your days hidden inside pants waiting for your time to shine.
920
Boss_Os Apr 1, 2026 +306
Omg, the mental image is hysterical. A big ole d*** walking around with a little nubbin of a guy sticking off it
306
sleepyguy- Apr 1, 2026 +127
“Hey that is a perfectly average nubbin of a man sticking off me” -Richard
127
colaman-112 Apr 1, 2026 +12
I've seen a comic strip online with that premise.
12
cmprsdchse Apr 1, 2026 +8
Richard E Grant-core
8
mangledmonkey Apr 1, 2026 +22
Woah, you're 6'11"? Super tall!
22
Full_Quiet8818 Apr 1, 2026 +5
You can run for president 
5
cardinalkgb Apr 1, 2026 +23
You’d be all d***. Like Congress and the White House
23
zenoslayer Apr 1, 2026 +1004
I'm 5'5 but no way I'm sizing my d*** down.
1004
muffchucker Apr 1, 2026 +346
Right! I ain't got nothing to spare in either arena lol I'm already short but I'm happy with my c***. Next question lol let the tall assholes with inches to spare answer this shit 🤣
346
Fancy-Holiday2930 Apr 1, 2026 +45
Lmaooo at least you’re self-aware 😭 let the overachievers handle this one while you stay winning in your own lane 💀
45
ghoztfrog Apr 1, 2026 +25
Im 6'2" and dont really want to discuss further.
25
Magfaeridon Apr 1, 2026 +24
I don't think this game was made for us small d*** shorties.
24
BosPaladinSix Apr 1, 2026 +15
Swap that five inches then and become a legend.
15
Uglypants_Stupidface Apr 1, 2026 +1737
I've always wanted a foot-long d***, so I guess I'm getting 6 inches taller!
1737
ialwayschoosepsyduck Apr 1, 2026 +261
It'll be 12 inches but will smell like a foot
261
Madkids23 Apr 1, 2026 +19
"Bonus features"
19
Kryton101 Apr 1, 2026 +34
I’ve got a 12 inch d***, but I don’t use it as a rule
34
GiraffeFellator Apr 1, 2026 +879
I am 6'6" tall.  I would swap eight inches of height to extend my d*** 8 inches.  5'10, 8.5" d***.
879
Jerking4jesus Apr 1, 2026 +85
Pfff, you might have a magnum dong now, but its gonna hurt when I crouch to talk to you.
85
Sanders0492 Apr 1, 2026 +15
I’m 6’6” and I’d trade away height just for the convenience of fitting in cars better. This is just a fun bonus.
15
GiraffeFellator Apr 1, 2026 +7
I'm actually only 6'4", but I thought the math was funnier if I used 6'6" and 8". I also find it difficult to fit in many cars, but usually for my broad shoulders (I am pressed against the door pillar in every model of Toyota) or my large feet (difficult or impossible to cleanly manipulate the pedals, esp in a car with an MT). Certain brands have much roomier interiors - I currently drive a Mazda3 and my shoulder doesn't touch the door pillar and I don't even have the seat all the way back.  I have also had good luck with Hyundais and VWs.
7
summonsays Apr 1, 2026 +13
I'm already 5'10 so guess I'll keep the cheese wheel.
13
BokuNoSudoku Apr 1, 2026 +841
Micropenis for more height. Not like I'm having sex anyways.
841
nutano Apr 1, 2026 +551
Why not just go a little more and become a 7ft tall woman with a 10in deep vag
551
Bamres Apr 1, 2026 +72
Death by Snoo Snoo
72
clintonclonemachine Apr 1, 2026 +3
No no silly, its the scrote that becomes the vag. Balls arent in the bargain.
3
goldenstudent Apr 1, 2026 +3
Scrote becomes labia, we gotta stay consistent.
3
FriscoFresho Apr 1, 2026 +3
Just wanted you to know that I literally lol'd
3
Blablabla_1985_ Apr 1, 2026 +16
People who go after a 7ft tall woman would be very tight on a 10in vag… don’t ask me how I know.
16
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +26
Honest man 😆
26
capta1n_sarcasm Apr 1, 2026 +16
but what if the secret sauce was the height? Then what?
16
clover44mag Apr 1, 2026 +15
C*** sleeve
15
TheEveryman86 Apr 1, 2026 +10
Truly a monkey's paw Twilight Zone twist of irony.
10
DrManhattan_DDM Apr 1, 2026 +4
Micropeen of the Magi
4
smep Apr 1, 2026 +6
The Gift of the Magi.
6
DinkyStubby Apr 1, 2026 +222
I could use a couple inches of height. It's not like my dong is the part of me that's the best at sex anyway
222
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +40
That’s a fair consideration
40
Thors_Shillelagh Apr 1, 2026 +167
I'm six one. I'm just imagining being so short I can jump rope with it lol.
167
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +15
😆 Permanently?
15
Dustquake Apr 1, 2026 +218
Never said it was a one time trade. Just trade things around when I feel like it, or as appropriate.
218
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +57
You got me there
57
vw_bugg Apr 1, 2026 +38
Oh shit what if its not by choice. You become aroused and suddenly your height begins to shrink as you become more and more erect.
38
Dustquake Apr 1, 2026 +3
There's be times you're practically a snake.
3
Dustquake Apr 1, 2026 +6
If it were a one time. I'm good. 5'10" and never had complaints. So I'd pass.
6
fartlebythescribbler Apr 1, 2026 +18
Are those two measurements?
18
SubAussie_ Apr 1, 2026 +36
Can we steal inches from other people?
36
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +32
There’s a couple people in here offering to give away or sell their spares
32
Pathetian Apr 1, 2026 +14
What is this? Mario Party?
14
HenryCrabgrass01 Apr 1, 2026 +276
How about inches from circumference instead? Lol  Id happily lose a few inches off the waist to add a few inches below the waist
276
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +73
Hahaha now you’re getting creative, but that wasn’t the question!
73
cardinalkgb Apr 1, 2026 +13
I like his ingenuity though
13
Own_Government972 Apr 1, 2026 +225
I’m already 5'9, so I can’t afford to lose any height without falling into a new social category. I’ll keep the status quo. The grass is always greener, but the doorframes stay the same height.
225
Admirable_Effect_717 Apr 1, 2026 +80
As a man that’s right at your height maybe a half inch taller I’ve learned respect for my proportions.. no woman has ever complained about my height or length. So I’m happy with what I got
80
AtDawnWeDEUSVULT Apr 1, 2026 +58
Between 5'9" and 5'10" is the perfect size, at least living in the Western world. You're not considered tall, but not short, either. That's absolutely worth it- average height comes with so many advantages, like fitting decently well in every car and plane, and having doorknobs and countertops and bathrooms all at a comfortable height, and your size of clothes almost always being in stock and relatively easy to find. The list goes on, but that's what first comes to mind.
58
muffchucker Apr 1, 2026 +20
I'm 5'6 just sitting here positively gooning at the shit y'all are putting down 🤤
20
breesyroux Apr 1, 2026 +4
The only time I've ever regretted being completely average sized is shopping at LL Bean outlet. So many great deals on smalls and XL. One ugly shirt for me.
4
Re_Thought Apr 1, 2026 +19
>without falling into a new social category. Damn, I became content with my 5-7 status a few years back, but that still stung a little. 😆
19
akjd Apr 1, 2026 +8
Man I'm 5'2", pretty sure this guy just spat on my existence lol
8
Wafflehouseofpain Apr 1, 2026 +5
:(
5
thread100 Apr 1, 2026 +41
I’ve lost 3” of height to age so far and it did not go down there.
41
mmmkay938 Apr 1, 2026 +49
I mean, it probably did but it’s all ballsack.
49
[deleted] Apr 1, 2026 +85
I'm 6'5 so yeah I'd trade up to 3 inches to put em down there ngl lmaoo
85
Free-Security5426 Apr 1, 2026 +75
Yeah, 6'3" here. No point to being over 6' if your not a professional athlete. Just makes stuff like planes and small cars super uncomfortable. I'd trade 3" too.
75
SkeeveTheGreat Apr 1, 2026 +24
Yeah, i’m trading 4 inches of height for a p*** d***, and making myself far more comfortable in airplane seats.
24
kaos11 Apr 1, 2026 +39
Until you slam your super dong in the serving tray. Or the person next to you grabs it and tries to use it as their lap belt.
39
ATL28-NE3 Apr 1, 2026 +4
Yep. 6'2" and making the trade all day.
4
bonerinthebutt Apr 1, 2026 +5
Same, would also be nice not to hit my head so often.
5
glr123 Apr 1, 2026 +3
You'd just trade hitting one head for the other though.
3
irrelephantiasis Apr 1, 2026 +14
i’m good, if someone needs an inch or two LMK.
14
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +4
Sharing is caring
4
Deep_Head4645 Apr 1, 2026 +52
Yes let me become a short subby femboy with an absolute monster
52
Asmodias1 Apr 1, 2026 +12
I would trade up to 4 inches of height to have it work again. I’d be 5’10 and things would work.
12
Nyko_E Apr 1, 2026 +10
Id do a simple 1" exchange. Can live with being 5'11",
10
[deleted] Apr 1, 2026 +35
[deleted]
35
cholula_is_good Apr 1, 2026 +25
You should max out and play center for the Lakers with no p**** whatsoever.
25
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +12
That’s very generous of you
12
rustbelt84 Apr 1, 2026 +9
I’ll take 6” of this guy! 👹
9
sjk971005 Apr 1, 2026 +8
Sus
8
ZedekiahCromwell Apr 1, 2026 +3
They said what they said.
3
mr_lab_rat Apr 1, 2026 +5
Wait, which 6”
5
PM_Your_Wiener_Dog Apr 1, 2026 +42
If this were possible every dude would be 3 foot tall
42
DurianDear6644 Apr 1, 2026 +12
So if a guy was 5'9", and got 2'9" added to their d*** length but became 3'0" tall, where are you getting the blood to sustain an erection?
12
PM_Your_Wiener_Dog Apr 1, 2026 +9
I'd have 3ft of confidence to gather anything I need bro
9
PHX_Architraz Apr 1, 2026 +16
Larger member and I get to fit on an airplane just a little bit better from then on? Happily willing to discuss trading a few inches.
16
PolyJuicedRedHead Apr 1, 2026 +9
If my feet got any longer, I’d have to buy all new shoes. 👟
9
General_Yesterday_41 Apr 1, 2026 +6
Neither,, it's all about the girth!!
6
BricksByPablo Apr 1, 2026 +8
That surgery sounds painful. I’ll pass
8
ChronoLegion2 Apr 1, 2026 +7
I’m ok with my height (6’2”) and length (average). It’s not the size of the hammer, it’s how you wield it
7
Mrjlawrence Apr 1, 2026 +5
I’m 6’ 2”. I could handle 6’ 1.5”. I don’t want I get greedy down there
5
Graytis Apr 1, 2026 +10
Monkey's paw curls: *Every inch of height sacrificed results in one additional p****, each a single inch in length.*
10
meatygonzalez Apr 1, 2026 +5
I'd happily take two inches off my d*** to get to like 6ft2in
5
HotPlops Apr 1, 2026 +6
Naw, I'm good. 
6
kidskwid Apr 1, 2026 +4
Call me Danny Devito.
4
Insidion25 Apr 1, 2026 +4
I'm 6'2. I'll gladly extend my thing so I'll still be 6 feet
4
killgannon09 Apr 1, 2026 +5
I hate all of you lol
5
chucksterlecluckster Apr 1, 2026 +4
Sure why not. I’m 6’2 an have an average sized hog. I’ll take 6’1 and an above average hog.
4
Colforbin_43 Apr 1, 2026 +5
I’m 6’3. Chop me down to 6’ flat, and give me an extra 3 inches of d***. Now I’m endowed a 3 1/2 inch crotch rocket!
5
South_Feed5707 Apr 1, 2026 +4
I would have to ask my wife what she prefers in the situation
4
tinyhorsesinmytea Apr 1, 2026 +3
Nah, My peepee is average which is good enough and I can't afford to lose an inch of height.
3
Loki-L Apr 1, 2026 +3
I could stand to be a bit taller.
3
Excellent-Pin3646 Apr 1, 2026 +3
I’m already married. I barely sniff 5’6” I’d trade 2 or 3 inches to hit 5’9” Legitimately, tall men will never understand how difficult it is to be confident in a room where you’re the shortest man.
3
Baron-Von-Mothman Apr 1, 2026 +3
Remove inches around my waist and add them to my balls. I want a long sack. Like Santa clause on boxing day
3
InternetSandman Apr 1, 2026 +3
Can we trade height for circumference instead?
3
Cassandra_Canmore2 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Yeah boy!
3
HG21Reaper Apr 1, 2026 +3
Nah I am good at 6’1 with a 7” fat dong.
3
BadMiker Apr 1, 2026 +4
There's literally dozens of us...
4
HG21Reaper Apr 1, 2026 +3
My man
3
WorldsWorstFather Apr 1, 2026 +3
I'm 6'5, so I guess I'd go 6'3 and add the 2 inches to how low my balls hang.
3
ENTPhotographer Apr 1, 2026 +3
Tight budget on both fronts.
3
throwkevinjerryaway Apr 1, 2026 +3
would totally give up 9.5" to be a 4'7" loli with a foot-long monster dong...
3
NotARealBlackBelt Apr 1, 2026 +3
One inch of belly fat vs one inch of p**** length
3
10ballplaya Apr 1, 2026 +3
can I trade with other things? I'm 5'6" and Asian.
3
FajenThygia Apr 1, 2026 +3
Being 6'4" has caused me no end of headaches. I'd hit my head a lot less at 6'2".  Heck, I might even be able to use my apartment's bathroom mirror without stooping.
3
veovis523 Apr 1, 2026 +3
I'm 6'3" and 6.5", and I often hit my head on low ceilings, so I think it goes without saying how I'd respec. Oh, and I'd even lower myself under 6 ft if I could get the foreskin back too.
3
SupaMonroeGuy Apr 1, 2026 +3
I'd move the inches from my waist to my shoulders
3
daddydrank Apr 1, 2026 +13
I'm 6"6'; any taller and I have to buy special clothes and duck under regular doorways. On the other hand, I'm pretty big down there, too, so I feel no need to add. Can I sell inches?
13
banjofitzgerald Apr 1, 2026 +33
Look at Mr. Has it all over here. Lemme guess, full head of hair too?
33
alex_1c Apr 1, 2026 +14
Is your steak too juicy as well?
14
MajesticChain7940 Apr 1, 2026 +3
I wonder what the market is for that, and how much the type of inches you’re selling would differ? Supply and demand…
3
Solid_V Apr 1, 2026 +2
Doesn't feel fair cos I'm pretty tall. But yeah, I absolutely would.
2
Turbulent_Ad9508 Apr 1, 2026 +2
I'd drop down to 6'2" and add an inch of girth. Can I also drop a shoe size while I'm at it? Finding 14/15 is a b****.
2
ChristineCrazyFord Apr 1, 2026 +2
No I’m happy to be average in both categories.
2
explosive-diorama Apr 1, 2026 +2
Naw, i’m fortunate to be fairly tall and also endowed well enough that while i’d never turn down an inch or two, I don’t need it.
2
cheese-andmac Apr 1, 2026 +2
Nah I’m comfortable with my height & length. I’ve grown to actually love my size! 😊
2
ukudancer Apr 1, 2026 +2
No.  I'm doing alright at 5'6" and almost avg length.   I know how to work with what I got. 
2
1320Fastback Apr 1, 2026 +2
Nope already 6'5" so the fuk I need another one for?
2
killbillten1 Apr 1, 2026 +2
I'm 7ft. Just take 8 inches from me.
2
Intelligent-Box-3798 Apr 1, 2026 +2
I’d happily give up an inch but i want like 2 more inches of height, I’m not willing to go 2 for 2 lol
2
Detail4 Apr 1, 2026 +2
6’1” and I’ve already used my inches. Can I sell mine? How much you think that’d be worth?
2
Saint--Jiub Apr 1, 2026 +2
My height and my length are the only two things I got going for me
2
LankeeClipper Apr 1, 2026 +2
I’m 6’8” and I don’t play professional sports, so I’m already taller than I’d like to be. 6’4” would be nice.
2
Captain_Comic Apr 1, 2026 +2
I’m 6’2” - 6’ even would be fine
2
Admirable_Theme2372 Apr 1, 2026 +2
I think I'm at the perfect ratio
2
Welcome_to_Retrograd Apr 1, 2026 +2
Nah. I'm fine with being 5'8" short and need my paperweight to be hefty since that's all i use it for
2
Freak-Of-Nurture- Apr 1, 2026 +2
don’t wanna be taller and don’t want to be longer
2
lPHOENIXZEROl Apr 1, 2026 +2
I can't afford to lose either.
2
Tanerian Apr 1, 2026 +2
I'm 6"3 and "6.5 I think 6"2 and 7.5 would have me flying high.
2
TheCarrzilico Apr 1, 2026 +2
I'd give up a couple inches of height for a freakishly long tongue. I kind of have an oral fixation.
2
GateOfD Apr 1, 2026 +2
3inch from my stomach to my height
2
mfcrunchy Apr 1, 2026 +2
I'm so innocent. Initially interpreted this as taking inches off my tummy to make me taller. Thought this was a no brainer.
2
claydogg14789 Apr 1, 2026 +2
I would give up 12” of waist girth for 6” length and 6 “ girth. Might end up looking like a Costco sized tuna can family pack though
2
killermachine9999 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Can I trade my middle finger length for longer d***?
2
professorfunkenpunk Apr 1, 2026 +2
Could I take the inches off my waist instead?
2
sk3pt1c Apr 1, 2026 +2
I’m 6ft4 and more than enough down there so I’ll pass, I like my height.
2
Winkered Apr 1, 2026 +2
I’d like to be shorter. I’m a big lump and that’s what people see. Plus I’d look tidier.
2
lesusisjord Apr 1, 2026 +2
I’m 5’9”. An inch taller in height won’t make me “tall” but an inch shorter in height would be *devastating.* I don’t got a big hog, but I wouldn’t trade. If I were a couple inches taller, definitely.
2
Idbdjxujejck Apr 1, 2026 +2
Damn. I dont have much of either.
2
GodMonster Apr 1, 2026 +2
As a trans woman can I do like for like, take 4 or 5 inches off both up top and down below? It would be nice to be cute and petite and *cute and petite*.
2
Ragazzano Apr 1, 2026 +2
6' with a 10" d***. Getting a boner might knock me unconscious.
2
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