I would have been open, if Trump didn't insist that Hormuz is now open, except for Iran lmao, he tried to have his cake and eat it. Who would've guessed that I ran opening the strait would implicitly require it to be open to everyone, including to Iran.
11
the_fabled_bardApr 18, 2026
+8
It wasn't open. It was open in the sense that they made the ships pay and let a limited number (of their choosing) every day.
That's about as far from open as possible without being closed.
8
OneNormalBlokeApr 18, 2026
+291
So much for Dr Jesus's grandiose statements.
291
swizzcheezApr 18, 2026
+46
Don Jesus demands his protection money.
46
TrickshotCandyApr 18, 2026
+6
Dr Jesus. This is genius.
6
blazeit420casualApr 18, 2026
+2
*Stable genius
2
irealllylovepenguinsApr 18, 2026
+9
"Yes, I.C.E., we're pretty sure we're pronouncing it correctly. Go get him!"
9
fec2245Apr 18, 2026
+5
Iran's FM announced the strait was open.
5
OhdakeApr 18, 2026
+14
With conditions if you read beyond just the headlines.
14
fec2245Apr 18, 2026
-3
Just that the ships had to follow the routes laid out. The IRGC didn't agree with the FM though.
-3
Geo_NLApr 18, 2026
+129
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clz9ykXMkeM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clz9ykXMkeM)
"it's still open"
...
"no it ain't"
Ad infinitum.
129
GenericUsername2056Apr 18, 2026
+22
More like ad nauseam.
22
levetrixApr 18, 2026
+1
Underrated reference
1
SHITBLAST3000Apr 18, 2026
+378
Iran is really making Trump look like a f****** absolute moron.
378
Plane-Breakfast-8817Apr 18, 2026
+205
Trump is managing that just fine without the help - but it's definitely making for a better show.
205
tehbanthoApr 18, 2026
+45
Nothing about this is better. I get you're just making a snarky quip for listnook karma...but this shit has serious consequences that ripple across all of humanity and literally zero people benefit except Trump and his cronies who keep using insider information to profit off of this absolute disaster.
45
IEatBigWetBoogersApr 18, 2026
+23
First time on the internet?
23
gaflarApr 18, 2026
+17
Oh don't worry, everyone knows. It's called gallows humour and after 13 years on Listnook I'm sure its not the first time you've seen it before.
17
p3t3y5Apr 18, 2026
+23
Just remember, only 30% of Americans could be bothered to stop this. This is what americans asked for.
23
sask357Apr 18, 2026
+5
Basically, the same 1/3 of Americans who elected him are continuing to approve of his actions. Congress supports him. Most Supreme Court decisions are in his favour. This is America today.
5
Vagabond_TexanApr 18, 2026
+21
Eh. When the world gets this absurd, why not be snarky?
21
FluffleGliderApr 18, 2026
+6
Tragedy and Comedy are two sides of the same coin, it's just a matter of perspective.
6
Dillweed999Apr 18, 2026
+1
The petroleum markets getting kicked in the nuts for (however long this lasts) is probably a net win for humanity. Aren't the Euros already increasing renewables funding and research?
1
DashingDinoApr 18, 2026
+2
It's not a win for humanity. Developing countries don't have to means to pivot to renewables or the ability to afford fertiliser anymore. Millions of people are about to starve in Africa as a result of this nonsense
2
DDRaptorsApr 18, 2026
+1
50% of EU electricity grid is already renewables. We don’t need a kick in the nuts.
1
China_bot42069Apr 18, 2026
+1
Yes he’s doing great on the golf course right now while the world watches this train wreck that he caused
1
gao7onApr 18, 2026
+26
Trump himself is unbeatable in that department.
26
ButterscotchTop194Apr 18, 2026
+19
That's a very low bar. Only president in modern times not to release his IQ test score.
19
hakenwithbaconApr 18, 2026
+2
His IQ is 200, that's what a supporter told me. Why are you asking for proof?
2
ButterscotchTop194Apr 18, 2026
+1
Same reason he asked for Obama's birthday certificate, I guess, lol
1
StreetlgndApr 18, 2026
+1
He doesnt have to, he is 6'3, 225lbs and 5% body fat.
/s
1
MopstilltheendApr 18, 2026
+6
Yes but the Iranian regime is a bigger moron itself
6
SnooChickens1534Apr 18, 2026
+6
They dont need Irans help to do that ....
6
SpartanKaneApr 18, 2026
+3
Eh. He **really** doesn't need help with that. Netanyahu and Putin also arent helping. His constant victory proclamations are pretty effective in that regard.
3
Aggressive_Chair1470Apr 18, 2026
+10
trump knows what he's doing, its just about money, he doesn't care about "looking like a moron". no ones changing they're mind about him at this late stage
10
Hat_MaverickApr 18, 2026
+2
They put up a mirror?
2
ExtremeMuffinApr 18, 2026
+7
Iran is not looking particularly competent either since they are the ones who said it was open to all yesterday morning.
7
BTechUnitedApr 18, 2026
+2
Yeah, it's like they're both racing to the bottom
2
b0sanacApr 18, 2026
+1
Yeah, open if US stopped the blockade on their ports. The US didn't, so strait is closed. They're looking infinitely more competent than Trump.
1
StillWastingAwayApr 18, 2026
+2
lol, who would have figured that Iran thought openning the strait would include removing the US blockade, soooo Irrational and incompetent omggg, they are probably two seconds away from dissolving their control lmao, is this the bot directive?
2
kingtacticoolApr 18, 2026
+1
Trump didn't need help with that but then Iran was all "i got you fam"
1
AliceLunarApr 18, 2026
+1
They're both incompetent, supposedly they gave this vessel clearance and then shot at it anyways with the ships that the US said they destroyed weeks ago.
1
piasenigmaApr 18, 2026
he dont care. theyre inside trading all of this and making money hand over fist.
0
CaRzOonnApr 18, 2026
+60
This is getting more and more concerning for global trade routes
60
Fluffy_Source_5467Apr 18, 2026
+15
Are we all doomed? Should I laugh, cry or scream? Maybe all simultaneously.
15
CaRzOonnApr 18, 2026
+13
Probably just stay informed and hope it de-escalates
13
grey_hat_ukApr 18, 2026
+19
I disagree, stay as uniformed as possible, no one knows what's happening anyway.
Ignorant bliss awaits.
19
CaRzOonnApr 18, 2026
+3
Fair, but being completely uninformed rarely ends well either.
3
themcsameApr 18, 2026
+4
In all fairness, this whole thing has very much been a complete shit show of flip flopping statements and 180s. One minute trump has won, the next Iran has done something else, Trump doesn't need help one minute, next he's shit talking the world for not helping, etc...
I can't say I'd blame anyone for not keeping up with this mess honesty... Less than 24 hours after mass reporting of the Strait being open, we're now at Iran firing on a tanker. Yet another 180 in what's being reported (not to say it's untrue, just that the situation is constantly, and rapidly changing)
4
CaRzOonnApr 18, 2026
+4
That’s fair — but that’s exactly why staying at least somewhat informed still matters.
4
Oberon_SwansonApr 18, 2026
+2
Not doomed, just fucked. I suggest assuming everything will be unreasonably expensive in the near future. If you want something just buy it now unless you're willing to either go without or spend 50% more in a few years.
2
G00b3rb0yApr 18, 2026
We’re done for as a species my guy
0
Fluffy_Source_5467Apr 18, 2026
+8
Well, I wasn't having a great time being a human to begin with..
8
Xspud_316Apr 18, 2026
+45
Donald Trump still sitting beating his meat over how good he is and how he has stopped 9 wars or some BS.
45
xxxx69420xxApr 18, 2026
+22
they just gave him a toy phone and a rattle
22
musical_sharesApr 18, 2026
+11
“Here’s your Fisher-Price Peace Prize, sir! What’s that? You need your nappy changed? Okay, let’s get your nappy changed, big guy!”
11
YOSHIMIvPROBOTSApr 18, 2026
+4
He says that repeatedly and nobody has the courage to simply dare him to name them all. An even decent reporter could name twice as many women he's assaulted yet they all just go along for access. It's disgusting.
4
felis_scipioApr 18, 2026
+28
Markets on Monday will somehow find a way to see this is as bullish
28
rabidstoatApr 18, 2026
+10
Trump will post that the strait is open, regardless of reality, and that will pump the market. Y
10
CSPNApr 18, 2026
+2
What doesn’t make sense to me is the market assumes he’s lying / taco when it’s negative but at the same time believes him when it’s positive ?!?!
2
felis_scipioApr 18, 2026
+2
I’ve lost more money than I want to admit to since he announced tariffs last year thinking surely the market will understand how fucked this is for the economy. I mean it did react in a sane way briefly but ever since folks caught onto taco it’s been weird.
When the gap in oil tanker deliveries hit from the straight closing, they’re slow as f*** so the gap is there it just hasn’t hit yet, the market will have a moment of reckoning… I mean it should, it’s hard to ignore when supply just stops and there’s still no resolution in sight.
2
CSPNApr 18, 2026
+2
Yeah I’ve holding extra cash for an expected pullback that never happens. Markets pricing in a quick resolution is crazy stuff.
And yeah supply gap is about to be felt in North America real soon
2
DowntownMove5068Apr 18, 2026
+25
Donald Trump sitting alone in his private room at the White House, casually plucking the petals off a flower one by one, with a thoughtful yet playful expression on his face. He's muttering to himself, 'Should I open the strait... or should I not open the strait?
25
Biotic101Apr 18, 2026
+17
It might look like incompetence, but he is really good when it comes to corruption and getting away with crime.
There's likely a reason why those massive trades in oil futures and likely also other markets happen before a major tweet.
Project 2025. Dark Enlightenment. Reset of the long-term debt cycle.
Did you see Trump's latest post? He was yelling about tired of winning and such.
Yeah
5
bodhidharma132001Apr 18, 2026
+3
The blockade isn't real. It can't hurt you.
3
Inevitable_ButtholeApr 18, 2026
+3
Mar 3: "We won the war."
Mar 7: "We defeated Iran."
Mar 9: "We must attack Iran." "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully."
Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet."
Mar 13: "We won the war."
Mar 14: "Please help us."
Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it."
Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all." "I was just testing to see who's listening to me." "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad."
Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help." "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO."
Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz."
Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip -step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz"
Mar 20: "NATO are cowards."
Mar 21: "We don't use it, we don't need to open it."
Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours." "Iran is Dead"
Mar 23: "We are giving them more time."
Mar 24: "The war is nearing its end."
Mar 25: "We are still negotiating."
Mar 26: "Iran is begging for peace. They gave us a gift. We will give them more time."
Mar 27: "Talks with iran are going very well"
Mar 28: "War will be over soon"
Mar 29: "Maybe we take Kharg island, maybe we dont"
Mar 30: "Open the Strait or we will obliterate all energy infrastructure and oil wells"
Mar 31: "We dont need the strait, we got plenty of oil. Get it yourself UK."
April 1: "Iran wants a ceasefire" / "Strongly considering pulling out of NATO" / "There's no deal with Iran"
April 3:"We can take their oil and make a fortune"
April 5:"Open the fuckin strait you crazy bastards or youll be living in hell"
April 6:"US could charge for strait of hormuz passage"
April 7:"A whole civilization will die tonight"
April 8:"Iran accepts ceasefire, the strait is opened" *strait closed*
April 9:"NATO allies have days to reopen the strait"
April 10:"Iran has no cards"
April 11:"We're going to open up the strait"
April 12:"US will blockade the strait"
April 16:"I told NATO to stay away, they were useless"
April 17:"Iran has agreed to never close the strait again" *iran closes the strait*
April 18:"We might have to start dropping bombs again"
3
Ultra_MetalApr 18, 2026
+1
The Islamic Republic is committing war crimes by firing on civilian ships.
1
boogi3woogieApr 18, 2026
+3
At least you can count on the IRGC to be consistent! Never deviate from killing civilians and war crimes!
3
FoooffApr 18, 2026
+2
You bastards! /s
2
redditobserveroneApr 18, 2026
+2
Stray fireworks celebrating the re-opening of the Strait after Iran agreed to absolutely everything.
The list of specifics of everything they agreed to is not posted and reviewable anywhere but trust, they agreed to everything and the Strsit is totally open and it all happened coincidentally before the market closed on Friday.
2
corizanoApr 18, 2026
+1
What happens with all the crews on these vessels are they rotating out or stuck on ships for the last couple of months?
1
Jewish_DoctorApr 18, 2026
+1
These are celebratory fireworks for the straight being reopened... right guys?
1
HalftiedApr 18, 2026
+1
I filled up yesterday when gas was back down to $3.17/gallon. YES!!!!
1
FotiomousyApr 18, 2026
+1
These ships are about to start playing frogger
1
A_Pointy_RockApr 18, 2026
+1
He probably only read the *open* from *open fire* on the briefing.
1
Glittering_Nobody402Apr 18, 2026
But the magat bots were so so confident this time...
0
llixaaApr 18, 2026
-2
Why the f*** is Trump blockading Iran's ports?! Get this damn war of choice over with, people's lives are getting impacted every damn day. No one is benefiting from this shit except Israel.
-2
YOSHIMIvPROBOTSApr 18, 2026
+5
Trump painted himself into a corner. If he accepts any deal that's even on par with the JCPOA, he's failed. And Iran won't accept anything that's worse for them than the JCPOA.
And it's illogical for Iran to agree to further dearming themselves when they've been attacked twice in the last year. And Iran is also seeing the global response to all this and while countries aren't rushing to defend Iran, they aren't endorsing what the US and Israel are doing.
5
jpk195Apr 18, 2026
+2
Also - and this is in no way an endorsement of Iran’s truly awful government - they aren’t stupid like Trump is.
2
EmergencyCucumber905Apr 18, 2026
+1
> the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.
1
Full-Fox-361Apr 18, 2026
-1
But I was told it was about the Lebanon ceasefire, Iran lied????
-1
boogi3woogieApr 18, 2026
+3
That was straight from Iran. Sounds like iran doesn’t have their shit together.
3
BorntoBombApr 18, 2026
Oil on water , turn it into wine, trump maga warriors hold that line!
/s
0
tormentnexusApr 18, 2026
-1
The Cheeto in Chief doesn’t know how to get the Hormuz to go back to “Hormuzing”
-1
0RAINMAN0Apr 18, 2026
-2
I thought they said all the Iranian boats were destroyed? 😂
-2
MourningRIFApr 18, 2026
-3
It's almost like the president is lying to our faces to profit off the market manipulation. He wouldn't do that, would be?!
91 Comments