I would have been open, if Trump didn't insist that Hormuz is now open, except for Iran lmao, he tried to have his cake and eat it. Who would've guessed that I ran opening the strait would implicitly require it to be open to everyone, including to Iran.
11
the_fabled_bard1 day ago
+8
It wasn't open. It was open in the sense that they made the ships pay and let a limited number (of their choosing) every day.
That's about as far from open as possible without being closed.
8
OneNormalBloke1 day ago
+291
So much for Dr Jesus's grandiose statements.
291
swizzcheez1 day ago
+46
Don Jesus demands his protection money.
46
TrickshotCandy1 day ago
+6
Dr Jesus. This is genius.
6
blazeit420casual21 hr ago
+2
*Stable genius
2
irealllylovepenguins1 day ago
+9
"Yes, I.C.E., we're pretty sure we're pronouncing it correctly. Go get him!"
9
fec22451 day ago
+5
Iran's FM announced the strait was open.
5
Ohdake1 day ago
+14
With conditions if you read beyond just the headlines.
14
fec22451 day ago
-3
Just that the ships had to follow the routes laid out. The IRGC didn't agree with the FM though.
-3
Geo_NL1 day ago
+129
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clz9ykXMkeM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clz9ykXMkeM)
"it's still open"
...
"no it ain't"
Ad infinitum.
129
GenericUsername20561 day ago
+22
More like ad nauseam.
22
levetrix1 day ago
+1
Underrated reference
1
SHITBLAST30001 day ago
+378
Iran is really making Trump look like a f****** absolute moron.
378
Plane-Breakfast-88171 day ago
+205
Trump is managing that just fine without the help - but it's definitely making for a better show.
205
tehbantho1 day ago
+45
Nothing about this is better. I get you're just making a snarky quip for listnook karma...but this shit has serious consequences that ripple across all of humanity and literally zero people benefit except Trump and his cronies who keep using insider information to profit off of this absolute disaster.
45
IEatBigWetBoogers1 day ago
+23
First time on the internet?
23
gaflar1 day ago
+17
Oh don't worry, everyone knows. It's called gallows humour and after 13 years on Listnook I'm sure its not the first time you've seen it before.
17
p3t3y51 day ago
+23
Just remember, only 30% of Americans could be bothered to stop this. This is what americans asked for.
23
sask3571 day ago
+5
Basically, the same 1/3 of Americans who elected him are continuing to approve of his actions. Congress supports him. Most Supreme Court decisions are in his favour. This is America today.
5
Vagabond_Texan1 day ago
+21
Eh. When the world gets this absurd, why not be snarky?
21
FluffleGlider1 day ago
+6
Tragedy and Comedy are two sides of the same coin, it's just a matter of perspective.
6
Dillweed9991 day ago
+1
The petroleum markets getting kicked in the nuts for (however long this lasts) is probably a net win for humanity. Aren't the Euros already increasing renewables funding and research?
1
DashingDino1 day ago
+2
It's not a win for humanity. Developing countries don't have to means to pivot to renewables or the ability to afford fertiliser anymore. Millions of people are about to starve in Africa as a result of this nonsense
2
DDRaptors1 day ago
+1
50% of EU electricity grid is already renewables. We don’t need a kick in the nuts.
1
China_bot420691 day ago
+1
Yes he’s doing great on the golf course right now while the world watches this train wreck that he caused
1
gao7on1 day ago
+26
Trump himself is unbeatable in that department.
26
ButterscotchTop1941 day ago
+19
That's a very low bar. Only president in modern times not to release his IQ test score.
19
hakenwithbacon1 day ago
+2
His IQ is 200, that's what a supporter told me. Why are you asking for proof?
2
ButterscotchTop1941 day ago
+1
Same reason he asked for Obama's birthday certificate, I guess, lol
1
Streetlgnd1 day ago
+1
He doesnt have to, he is 6'3, 225lbs and 5% body fat.
/s
1
Mopstilltheend1 day ago
+6
Yes but the Iranian regime is a bigger moron itself
6
SnooChickens15341 day ago
+6
They dont need Irans help to do that ....
6
SpartanKane1 day ago
+3
Eh. He **really** doesn't need help with that. Netanyahu and Putin also arent helping. His constant victory proclamations are pretty effective in that regard.
3
Aggressive_Chair14701 day ago
+10
trump knows what he's doing, its just about money, he doesn't care about "looking like a moron". no ones changing they're mind about him at this late stage
10
Hat_Maverick1 day ago
+2
They put up a mirror?
2
ExtremeMuffin1 day ago
+7
Iran is not looking particularly competent either since they are the ones who said it was open to all yesterday morning.
7
BTechUnited1 day ago
+2
Yeah, it's like they're both racing to the bottom
2
b0sanac1 day ago
+1
Yeah, open if US stopped the blockade on their ports. The US didn't, so strait is closed. They're looking infinitely more competent than Trump.
1
StillWastingAway1 day ago
+2
lol, who would have figured that Iran thought openning the strait would include removing the US blockade, soooo Irrational and incompetent omggg, they are probably two seconds away from dissolving their control lmao, is this the bot directive?
2
kingtacticool1 day ago
+1
Trump didn't need help with that but then Iran was all "i got you fam"
1
AliceLunar1 day ago
+1
They're both incompetent, supposedly they gave this vessel clearance and then shot at it anyways with the ships that the US said they destroyed weeks ago.
1
piasenigma1 day ago
he dont care. theyre inside trading all of this and making money hand over fist.
0
CaRzOonn1 day ago
+60
This is getting more and more concerning for global trade routes
60
Fluffy_Source_54671 day ago
+15
Are we all doomed? Should I laugh, cry or scream? Maybe all simultaneously.
15
CaRzOonn1 day ago
+13
Probably just stay informed and hope it de-escalates
13
grey_hat_uk1 day ago
+19
I disagree, stay as uniformed as possible, no one knows what's happening anyway.
Ignorant bliss awaits.
19
CaRzOonn1 day ago
+3
Fair, but being completely uninformed rarely ends well either.
3
themcsame1 day ago
+4
In all fairness, this whole thing has very much been a complete shit show of flip flopping statements and 180s. One minute trump has won, the next Iran has done something else, Trump doesn't need help one minute, next he's shit talking the world for not helping, etc...
I can't say I'd blame anyone for not keeping up with this mess honesty... Less than 24 hours after mass reporting of the Strait being open, we're now at Iran firing on a tanker. Yet another 180 in what's being reported (not to say it's untrue, just that the situation is constantly, and rapidly changing)
4
CaRzOonn1 day ago
+4
That’s fair — but that’s exactly why staying at least somewhat informed still matters.
4
Oberon_Swanson23 hr ago
+2
Not doomed, just fucked. I suggest assuming everything will be unreasonably expensive in the near future. If you want something just buy it now unless you're willing to either go without or spend 50% more in a few years.
2
G00b3rb0y1 day ago
We’re done for as a species my guy
0
Fluffy_Source_54671 day ago
+8
Well, I wasn't having a great time being a human to begin with..
8
Xspud_3161 day ago
+45
Donald Trump still sitting beating his meat over how good he is and how he has stopped 9 wars or some BS.
45
xxxx69420xx1 day ago
+22
they just gave him a toy phone and a rattle
22
musical_shares1 day ago
+11
“Here’s your Fisher-Price Peace Prize, sir! What’s that? You need your nappy changed? Okay, let’s get your nappy changed, big guy!”
11
YOSHIMIvPROBOTS1 day ago
+4
He says that repeatedly and nobody has the courage to simply dare him to name them all. An even decent reporter could name twice as many women he's assaulted yet they all just go along for access. It's disgusting.
4
felis_scipio1 day ago
+28
Markets on Monday will somehow find a way to see this is as bullish
28
rabidstoat1 day ago
+10
Trump will post that the strait is open, regardless of reality, and that will pump the market. Y
10
CSPN19 hr ago
+2
What doesn’t make sense to me is the market assumes he’s lying / taco when it’s negative but at the same time believes him when it’s positive ?!?!
2
felis_scipio19 hr ago
+2
I’ve lost more money than I want to admit to since he announced tariffs last year thinking surely the market will understand how fucked this is for the economy. I mean it did react in a sane way briefly but ever since folks caught onto taco it’s been weird.
When the gap in oil tanker deliveries hit from the straight closing, they’re slow as f*** so the gap is there it just hasn’t hit yet, the market will have a moment of reckoning… I mean it should, it’s hard to ignore when supply just stops and there’s still no resolution in sight.
2
CSPN18 hr ago
+2
Yeah I’ve holding extra cash for an expected pullback that never happens. Markets pricing in a quick resolution is crazy stuff.
And yeah supply gap is about to be felt in North America real soon
2
DowntownMove50681 day ago
+25
Donald Trump sitting alone in his private room at the White House, casually plucking the petals off a flower one by one, with a thoughtful yet playful expression on his face. He's muttering to himself, 'Should I open the strait... or should I not open the strait?
25
Biotic1011 day ago
+17
It might look like incompetence, but he is really good when it comes to corruption and getting away with crime.
There's likely a reason why those massive trades in oil futures and likely also other markets happen before a major tweet.
Project 2025. Dark Enlightenment. Reset of the long-term debt cycle.
Did you see Trump's latest post? He was yelling about tired of winning and such.
Yeah
5
bodhidharma1320011 day ago
+3
The blockade isn't real. It can't hurt you.
3
Inevitable_Butthole23 hr ago
+3
Mar 3: "We won the war."
Mar 7: "We defeated Iran."
Mar 9: "We must attack Iran." "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully."
Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet."
Mar 13: "We won the war."
Mar 14: "Please help us."
Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it."
Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all." "I was just testing to see who's listening to me." "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad."
Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help." "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO."
Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz."
Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip -step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz"
Mar 20: "NATO are cowards."
Mar 21: "We don't use it, we don't need to open it."
Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours." "Iran is Dead"
Mar 23: "We are giving them more time."
Mar 24: "The war is nearing its end."
Mar 25: "We are still negotiating."
Mar 26: "Iran is begging for peace. They gave us a gift. We will give them more time."
Mar 27: "Talks with iran are going very well"
Mar 28: "War will be over soon"
Mar 29: "Maybe we take Kharg island, maybe we dont"
Mar 30: "Open the Strait or we will obliterate all energy infrastructure and oil wells"
Mar 31: "We dont need the strait, we got plenty of oil. Get it yourself UK."
April 1: "Iran wants a ceasefire" / "Strongly considering pulling out of NATO" / "There's no deal with Iran"
April 3:"We can take their oil and make a fortune"
April 5:"Open the fuckin strait you crazy bastards or youll be living in hell"
April 6:"US could charge for strait of hormuz passage"
April 7:"A whole civilization will die tonight"
April 8:"Iran accepts ceasefire, the strait is opened" *strait closed*
April 9:"NATO allies have days to reopen the strait"
April 10:"Iran has no cards"
April 11:"We're going to open up the strait"
April 12:"US will blockade the strait"
April 16:"I told NATO to stay away, they were useless"
April 17:"Iran has agreed to never close the strait again" *iran closes the strait*
April 18:"We might have to start dropping bombs again"
3
Ultra_Metal1 day ago
+1
The Islamic Republic is committing war crimes by firing on civilian ships.
1
boogi3woogie1 day ago
+3
At least you can count on the IRGC to be consistent! Never deviate from killing civilians and war crimes!
3
Foooff1 day ago
+2
You bastards! /s
2
redditobserverone1 day ago
+2
Stray fireworks celebrating the re-opening of the Strait after Iran agreed to absolutely everything.
The list of specifics of everything they agreed to is not posted and reviewable anywhere but trust, they agreed to everything and the Strsit is totally open and it all happened coincidentally before the market closed on Friday.
2
corizano1 day ago
+1
What happens with all the crews on these vessels are they rotating out or stuck on ships for the last couple of months?
1
Jewish_Doctor1 day ago
+1
These are celebratory fireworks for the straight being reopened... right guys?
1
Halftied1 day ago
+1
I filled up yesterday when gas was back down to $3.17/gallon. YES!!!!
1
Fotiomousy1 day ago
+1
These ships are about to start playing frogger
1
A_Pointy_Rock1 day ago
+1
He probably only read the *open* from *open fire* on the briefing.
1
Glittering_Nobody4021 day ago
But the magat bots were so so confident this time...
0
llixaa1 day ago
-2
Why the f*** is Trump blockading Iran's ports?! Get this damn war of choice over with, people's lives are getting impacted every damn day. No one is benefiting from this shit except Israel.
-2
YOSHIMIvPROBOTS1 day ago
+5
Trump painted himself into a corner. If he accepts any deal that's even on par with the JCPOA, he's failed. And Iran won't accept anything that's worse for them than the JCPOA.
And it's illogical for Iran to agree to further dearming themselves when they've been attacked twice in the last year. And Iran is also seeing the global response to all this and while countries aren't rushing to defend Iran, they aren't endorsing what the US and Israel are doing.
5
jpk1951 day ago
+2
Also - and this is in no way an endorsement of Iran’s truly awful government - they aren’t stupid like Trump is.
2
EmergencyCucumber9051 day ago
+1
> the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.
1
Full-Fox-3611 day ago
-1
But I was told it was about the Lebanon ceasefire, Iran lied????
-1
boogi3woogie1 day ago
+3
That was straight from Iran. Sounds like iran doesn’t have their shit together.
3
BorntoBomb1 day ago
Oil on water , turn it into wine, trump maga warriors hold that line!
/s
0
tormentnexus1 day ago
-1
The Cheeto in Chief doesn’t know how to get the Hormuz to go back to “Hormuzing”
-1
0RAINMAN01 day ago
-2
I thought they said all the Iranian boats were destroyed? 😂
-2
MourningRIF1 day ago
-3
It's almost like the president is lying to our faces to profit off the market manipulation. He wouldn't do that, would be?!
91 Comments