Mysterious Skin, Brian

I watched this movie called Mysterious skin yesterday night. And I think it has changed a part of me, and how I view trauma responses. I knew that the brain can shut out certain traumatic experiences, but I haven’t really read up on it much. But after watching this movie, getting to follow two very different trauma responses I feel like I’ve been gotten a vague explanation of myself. Call me cringe for saying that but that’s how I feel. When I watched this movie I saw myself so much in Brian. He’s response was as I had mentioned- to shut out the trauma completely from his memory, and when he’s reminded of it, even if it may just be brief, he gets a nose bleed and more often than not, passes out. In the movie it’s brought up that he has ” asexual vibes” and it’s also shown that he’s very uncomfortable in sexual or/and potential romantic situations, thanks to a past experience. His memory is lacking and he can’t remember what happend that rainy summer night nor that Halloween. And thanks to his memory being lacking and his wild imagination, he believes that he was abducted by aliens. If you’ve watched the movie you know the truth, the aliens wasn’t aliens, but his coach. Something happend to me when I was very young, but I can’t remember it. Maybe I was to young, but as I grew up in an unhealthy environment my memories have began to blur and I can’t remember most of my childhood, not even the happy parts. My dreams have began to morph into most of those empty s****, and I can’t tell what’s real anymore. I feel uncomfortable in ’romantic’ situations, despite me ”crushing” on this person before. I’ve been so very confused about myself and why I am the way I am. I haven’t had the support system to talk about this stuff with, and when someone have asked me, ”how does that make you feel?”, I’ve always responded with: I can’t remember. In truth, I’ve felt invalid because I can’t remember it. But after watching mysterious skin, and getting to follow Neil and especially Brian I think I’m slowly accepting that I’m valid. All in all, the greatest movie I’ve watched. I do not recommend