For me, it was all about focus. Wanted to give one kid all the time, energy, and attention I could muster. quality over quantity.
3
tallieeeeee6Mar 28, 2026
+1
Absolutely this! Financially I wouldn’t be able to have another one now. So I just pour all the love into the one I have. She has a great life.
1
Express_Pea_4645Mar 28, 2026
+1
Financial
1
Avon_gentMar 28, 2026
+1
Not me but a good friend told me it was a time thing. They still wanted to have some time to themselves for hobbies etc.
1
Capable_Opportunity7Mar 28, 2026
+1
Children are expensive
1
Individual_Pen_4463Mar 28, 2026
+1
Not 100% sure if we will only have one child, but if we do it will be for health reasons.
1
bold_snowflakeMar 28, 2026
+1
Child with additional needs.
1
Potential-Leek-811Mar 28, 2026
+1
I am currently pregnant and is rethinking my decision if Im gonna have to make more babies or not because of how expensive it is.
1
Horizontal_Axe_WoundMar 28, 2026
+1
Don't want to be dealing with the 1st year in my 40s, they are very expensive, we'd require a bigger house. Lastly it's very selfish but I've seen first hand how much fewer free time you get going from 1 to do. I'm not willing to give up the little freetime I have. My wife doesn't either. I fear if we had another our relationship would be really negatively affected as a result of a lack of freetime.
1
Gullible_Guitar_1322Mar 28, 2026
+2
It's not selfish to want free time and to know you want free time.
I've chosen to not have kids at all, and people call me selfish all the time, but I think it's actually the opposite. It's a big thing to understand what you want, and to not put someone else's life in the balance just because society says we should.
2
Horizontal_Axe_WoundMar 28, 2026
+1
Really don't get what the big deal around not wanting kids is, it's you who'd have to raise them so it's your choice.
I see a lot of people because parents don't do a lot else. I don't want to become that person
1
Gullible_Guitar_1322Mar 28, 2026
+1
Oh for sure.
I grew up as one of 8 kids. My siblings all have at least one child, most have 3. I don't need to contribute lol
But I also know that if I were to have any kids, I would devote myself and everything to them, to the point that I would lose myself. I would just become that kid's parent, instead of me. And I do not want that. I like being able to come and go as I please, and travel the world. I just went to my first pro hockey game! I wouldn't be able to do that with kids.
I don't think kid's should be had just to have 🤷♀️
1
Horizontal_Axe_WoundMar 28, 2026
+1
That's all very true and completely understandable, I'm 1 of 5! You can do those things with kids but it's the crazy level of planning needed to do it as you said doing it "to come and go as you please" takes me way too long just to go to the shops now 😅
I always wanted kids but didn't have my first until 38. I wanted to meet the right person and that took longer than expected. Now I've got 1 I'm happy with my boy, he's pretty chill, I thought I wanted 2.
1
Gullible_Guitar_1322Mar 28, 2026
+1
Yeah, sorry, that's what I meant! You can do plenty of stuff with kids, but it's a lot more stressful lol
I'm 31, and I also haven't met my person yet, but I get read the riot act all the time because of the no kids thing 🙄
I'd bet that your boy is also probably happy with just you guys, ya know? If I ever did have a kid, I'd probably only have one, because resources are scarce and because I would want to give them the best life they could have, which is probably what you're doing, and that's great
1
tallieeeeee6Mar 28, 2026
+1
Don’t worry people call me selfish for having 1. Apparently she will be lonely and grow up isolated.
1
Gullible_Guitar_1322Mar 28, 2026
+2
"Why don't you give them a friend to play with"
Ma'am, I had siblings. One of them hated me to the point that she would push me down stairs at any opportunity. I only talk to maybe two of them now as adults.
My hypothetical kid is just fine chilling in their own room with their own things having my undivided attention.
2
tallieeeeee6Mar 28, 2026
+2
Omg! I could have written this myself! I grew up with 2 brothers. One 18 months between us and one 13 years between us. I hated both of them. It was only when I had my daughter that we “got along” we still argue DAILY! And I feel so sorry for my mum since my dad died.
I absolutely do not want the stress of having 2 children. “But the 2nd kid just slips right in” yeah slips right into my already chaotic life. I got my little girl I always wanted why have more.
2
Gullible_Guitar_1322Mar 28, 2026
+1
Slips right onto my last nerve xD
No, but seriously. One of my brothers has only one kid. That kid has autism and is mostly non verbal, so there is a lot they have to deal with in general, but he's perfectly fine with one. And my parents never give him any type of shit about only having one.
Also, as I've grown, I just don't think I have the patience for kids anymore. I used to. My oldest nephew was born when I was 11, and neither his mom nor my mom would take care of him, so it fell to me, and I raised that boy for 3 years. That's a major reason why I don't want them. I've done my time lol
But, I'm not doggin on people who do
1
tallieeeeee6Mar 28, 2026
+2
I’m absolutely not bashing people who have multiple kids. What I am bashing on is when they get their 2p in about having more kids when I only have 1. They always have to say something. I just get really snarky with them now because if they can give it they can take it. “It’s bad to only have 1 kid” yeah it’s bad to run your mouth too. Keep out my business.
My mum is happy I only have 1 kid. She knows my mental health is in the toilet. My kid has suspected autism but the social side of it. But she’s so popular at martial arts and school.
Cudos to you for raising a sibling! You did good!
2
Gullible_Guitar_1322Mar 28, 2026
+2
Thank you! Not many people tell me I did good. They just tell me I did "for the family" and don't realize the impact it had on me mentally. That's a lot for an 11 year old, and then to get unceremoniously kicked out at 14 on top of that? Yeah. It's a lot.
But yeah, if you can dish it out, you should be able to take it. I recently traveled to Greece with my best friend of 19 years. We had a blast! It was one of the most amazing things to happen to me! I've also recently had an argument with one of my sisters and my dad about not having kids.
When my sister said that having her daughters was difficult but well worth it, I told her "you know what's also well worth it? The beautiful sunrises and sunsets in Greece. The food in Greece. Mykonos Island. Santorini Island. I'd rather have experiences like that than to stay stuck in our hometown because I got kids"
She shut up after giving me the meanest mug lololol
2
Weary-Guidance-4514Mar 28, 2026
+1
Good intentions
1
UrN3rdyGFMar 28, 2026
+1
I am a single mom.. I wanted more children soo bad. I loved being a mom. Then.. becoming a single mom, enduring all I did alone. Completely alone, no support anywhere, not even governmental.. I will never trust that this wont happen again. Motherhood got ripped from me and used by close ones to remind me that this is a form of punishment, and use my pleads of help an area of control. I love my daughter, I love her sooo much.. and I wish to give her siblings.. but.. I cant do it... I am to much of a failure of a mother to just her, nvm anymore...
1
evanildolimaMar 28, 2026
+1
Financial needs.
1
Lin-2-6Mar 28, 2026
+1
kids cost an arm and a leg these days
1
FirstExit5103Mar 28, 2026
+1
Even one child can feel like a lot to handle.
1
Henry_oldMar 28, 2026
+1
There is not enough time for one child, I sympathize with those who have 3-5 children. Besides, it's much easier to travel and live. I think quality is more important than quantity.
27 Comments