ListNook

Horat1us_UA Mar 27, 2026 +306

'You can either donate to fund the war or meet Mr Window. That's your choice, and it's absolutely voluntary.'

306

Venturis_Ventis Mar 27, 2026 +45

Oh, they have other alternatives, like meeting Mr. Novichok or being issued an one-way ticket to Siberia.

45

TheDarthSnarf Mar 27, 2026 +31

Sitting down for Tea with Mr. Polonium is also available.

31

murdoc1024 Mar 27, 2026 +16

Or Mr. Aircraft Unidentified Malfunction

16

LuckyWuke Mar 27, 2026 +2

Dont forget about the missile in your aircraft special

2

Blueberryburntpie Mar 28, 2026 +1

"Here's your ammunition that you were asking for."

1

Zefyris Mar 27, 2026

excuse me, it's the pilot that voluntarily went into the poor missile that was minding its own business flying around peacefully.

0

Anteater776 Mar 27, 2026 +2

Nothing personnel kid

2

falsevector Mar 28, 2026 +2

Or Mr. Falling off the window

2

PurpleCoat6656 Mar 27, 2026 +14

Balcony salesmen will never recover from this.

14

Strict-Square456 Mar 27, 2026 +10

The window of opportunity only opens for a brief time.

10

siqiniq Mar 27, 2026 +6

“Donations also reduce your anxiety and depression that carry suicide risk. Again, completely voluntary”

6

beklog Mar 27, 2026 +1

Yeah life is personal ;)

1

Dutchtdk Mar 27, 2026 +1

Ahhhh very spanish inquisition vibes

1

raul_lebeau Mar 27, 2026 +1

Do mean Bill Gates? No.

1

livy-aurelia Mar 27, 2026 -6

i think you have the relationship twisted. they’re funding it because they’re funding him. the oligarchs are the true power of the state, not him.

-6

30yearCurse Mar 27, 2026 +3

To a point, Vlad I am sure has good control over state levers and various offices of the KGB. Enough so that tossing / or tripping out a window is a real possibility if you cross him. The Oligarchs have money, but unless they have a sizable private army they are kinda of screwed.

3

livy-aurelia Mar 27, 2026 -4

the KGB does not exist anymore. the ussr fell 35 years ago my guy

-4

30yearCurse Mar 27, 2026 +5

Names change, functions don't. Sorry for using old school names.

5

Horat1us_UA Mar 27, 2026 +3

Asctually the KGB still exists. They never renamed it in Belarus. But hey, don’t you already know he meant their rebranded version in the Russia?

3

MentokGL Mar 27, 2026 +67

To be faiiiiiir, deciding to stay alive is a very personal decision.

67

naturalbornsinner Mar 27, 2026 +5

In Russia they're so advanced you can also choose how you die. Window, sent to the front. Crocodile tears... So many options

5

supercyberlurker Mar 27, 2026 +53

If you believe that, you are one of the dumbest goddamn motherfuckers on the planet. *With all respect.*

53

Blueberryburntpie Mar 28, 2026 +3

There's a whole wikipedia list of "suspicious deaths": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspicious_Russia-related_deaths_since_2022 Some of the... "blatant" ones: > Wife and two sons found dead beside him.[5] > Hanged from a handrail;[19] wife and daughter found dead in their beds with blunt axe wounds[19] and stab wounds.[5] > Found dead together with his wife Olga with multiple stab wounds.[25][26][27] > Reportedly died by suicide after shooting himself in the chest five times.[42][43] > Fell out of window from Hotel Sai International;[55] another Russian colleague, Vladimir Bidenov, died in the same hotel two days prior.[56][57] > Died at a hospital after being hit by a car while crossing a street.[62] > Kapustin was found hanged in a tree from a cable connected to his SUV, his hands were tied behind his back.[144]

3

Alernak Mar 27, 2026 +5

I don't think he has to ask them, they probably know better than anyone what would happen if they do not voluntarily participate.

5

arvigeus Mar 27, 2026 +42

Better name for it would be “A window of opportunity”

42

throwaway277252 Mar 27, 2026 +11

Great SG-1 episode.

11

WesternBlueRanger Mar 27, 2026 +10

"Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?!" "In the middle of my back swing?!"

10

Curzon88 Mar 27, 2026 +1

"WACKO!!!"

1

Witty_Formal7305 Mar 27, 2026 +7

I honestly use it to introduce people to the series. I find its such a well rounded episode on the show as a whole, it's sci-fi, but its also got its moments of humor and they get fuckin DEEP sparingly and always do it so well.

7

zevonyumaxray Mar 27, 2026 +4

This is either perfectly obvious, or obviously perfect. 👍

4

Ritaredditonce Mar 27, 2026 +3

Voluntold.

3

Callabrantus Mar 27, 2026 +20

Russia is the only country with a Secretary of Defenestration.

20

-Vikthor- Mar 27, 2026 +9

Kremlin denies, it's official then.

9

Do_itsch Mar 27, 2026 +6

Please walk torwards your personalized window should you refuse..

6

Mysterious-Oil-7094 Mar 27, 2026 +9

It was entirely their decision. And if they didn’t, high windows are very dangerous in Russia.

9

adyrip1 Mar 27, 2026 +3

Even falling from a basement window can be fatal in Russia.

3

StupidScaredSquirrel Mar 27, 2026 +11

This is so funny I couldn't help but read it in the smug tone of a russian mafioso giving bullshit euphemisms like "He... leaned too far at a window"

11

Sea-Cheesecake301 Mar 27, 2026 +12

Also their personal decision to jump to their deaths from a building's window.

12

arvigeus Mar 27, 2026 +6

Russian oligarchs are very into parkour, you know…

6

agha0013 Mar 27, 2026 +8

*after* murdering their entire family and shooting themselves in the back of the head. it's quite amazing how good they are at still moving their own bodies out through a window.

8

jxj24 Mar 27, 2026 +3

> and shooting themselves in the back of the head Pausing only twice to reload.

3

YF422 Mar 27, 2026 +12

"Mandatory Contributions": unenthusiatic oligarchs will be sent to the front lines.

12

CompleteCreme7223 Mar 27, 2026 +3

Sounds like a personal decision to jump out of windows or to never trade with the west again. So screwed either way but you get to live if you decide to help fund the war.

3

semucallday Mar 27, 2026 +3

Personal as in if you still want to be a person afterward.

3

kingcakeaholic Mar 27, 2026 +3

Like when Musk volunteers to pay TSA agents. Got it.

3

Not_Sure__Camacho Mar 27, 2026 +3

I guess the first Russian oligarch to agree was Donald when he lifted Russian sanctions....

3

ifurmothronlyknw Mar 27, 2026 +3

“Please donate the some of the money we stole from the Russian people”

3

oliverjohansson Mar 27, 2026 +2

balcony protection pass is not mandatory

2

the-es Mar 27, 2026 +2

Is this why they're blocking telegram?

2

Strict-Square456 Mar 27, 2026 +2

Lol “personal safety decision “.

2

Wolfman01a Mar 27, 2026 +2

He didn't ask. He told.

2

Capital_Elderberry28 Mar 27, 2026 +2

Personal decision between coughing up some rubles or a trip out the window of tall building.

2

JoyousCacophony Mar 27, 2026 +2

Russia/Putin is about as believable as the US/Donnie fuckstain...

2

awayish Mar 27, 2026 +2

pretty please donate within this limited window of opportunity,

2

hermitish Mar 27, 2026 +2

Donating does greatly increase the safety of the individual when standing next to windows in tall buildings though

2

bandita07 Mar 27, 2026 +2

Then it is true.

2

DaySecure7642 Mar 27, 2026 +2

In Russia, dying from falling out of the window or stepping out of the top of the building is also a "personal decision".

2

Alienhaslanded Mar 27, 2026 +2

He "asked". Yeah, He told them.

2

shingster08 Mar 27, 2026 +2

Ah yes the good ol Fund my war or an unfortunate accident involving windows might occur method 🤔

2

darthy_parker Mar 27, 2026 +2

Completely voluntary. We’re just asking you to stand in front of that open window over there while we ask…

2

84Cressida Mar 27, 2026 +3

Personnel day

3

agha0013 Mar 27, 2026 +3

yeah.... they personally decided they'd rather fund the war ~~then~~ than be tossed out of windows after murdering their whole family......

3

CryptographerFlat426 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Haha, sure. As someone else mentioned, those damn windows look so inviting. Might fall 10 stories out of a ground floor window if the cash dont flow.

1

SlowCrates Mar 27, 2026 +1

That splat sound was Blat, who leaked that Putin asked him.

1

LapsedVerneGagKnee Mar 27, 2026 +1

A suggestion via gunpoint is still a suggestion, I suppose.

1

erlo68 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Yeah... for personal safety...

1

Cheshire_Khajiit Mar 27, 2026 +1

Do they like extreme window skydiving? It’s a personal decision!

1

wastedgod Mar 27, 2026 +1

He didn't ask her told

1

HurlinVermin Mar 27, 2026 +1

You give rubles or have accidental falling out of window. If first accodent not fatal, you have second accident. Your choice.

1

TheMagicTorch Mar 27, 2026 +1

Beside the sliding apartment door on the 45th floor is where they'll make their decision.

1

rallyfanche2 Mar 27, 2026 +1

When the alternative is “accidentally” falling out of windows… voluntary takes on a whole new meaning

1

_evilalien_ Mar 27, 2026 +1

Convincing the oligarchs that they’ll have better outcomes when you’re gone is a dangerous line to cross. Ordinary Russians aren’t going to do anything, but pissed-off oligarchs might.

1

Secret_Wishbone_2009 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Signaling weakness having to go looking for ”donations”

1

postusa2 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Well, they'd already be funding the war if it wasn't for Hungary and Slovakia.

1

certciv Mar 27, 2026 +1

The balcony tax is not mandatory.

1

Ultra_Metal Mar 27, 2026 +1

It's interesting watching Putin beg for war money. It shows how broke Russia is.

1

jxj24 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Don't worry -- Trumpsky found a way to fund him.

1

snakesnake9 Mar 27, 2026 +1

It's just open window insurance.

1

Hyperion1144 Mar 27, 2026 +1

A "personal decision" that should be closely related to there desire to fall or not fall out of a fifth story apartment window.

1

epi_glowworm Mar 27, 2026 +1

Might as well get credit and live to tell the tale.

1

Hyperion1144 Mar 27, 2026 +1

I don't think Putin has a realistic path to surviving the next 24-36 months.

1

macross1984 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Putin need money and oligarchs have money. Putin is now calling in bills are due... "donation."

1

dirtyasseating Mar 27, 2026 +1

Are they donating *their* money, or is it really just *Putin's* money, that he has siphoned off of the state for years and hidden with them? Putin has always been rumored to be one of the richest men in the world, with Musk even joking a few times he believed Putin was richer then him, though on paper Putin has very few assets. A large chunk of his fortune has always been believed to be held by the oligarch he surrounds himself with.

1

big-papito Mar 27, 2026 +1

This pleases me, as this means Russia is in dire straits. You've been selling gold Putin bro? BRO!

1

Keffpie Mar 27, 2026 +1

Defenestration insurance

1

Free_Poem1617 Mar 27, 2026 +1

Putin's trumpifying -

1

GandalfSwagOff Mar 27, 2026 +1

[ Removed by Listnook ]

1

GandalfSwagOff Mar 27, 2026 +3

Listnook deleted this comment and sent me a formal warning because I mocked what Russian oligarchs do to political opposition.. Fascinating!

3

Blueberryburntpie Mar 28, 2026 +2

I once got an instant 3 day ban (took effect seconds after I made the post) for discussing how Iran would attack ships and US forces if a war kicked off.

2

totallyRebb Mar 28, 2026 +1

Maybe a Russobot saw it and reported it.

1

Dry3750 Mar 27, 2026 +1

"Personal decision" in a room full of oligarchs and the president doesn’t exactly sound like a completely free choice.

1

Cabbages24ADollar Mar 27, 2026 +1

Something we should be doing in the states. Oligarchy wants to wage war. They can pay for it.

1

nothing_pt Mar 27, 2026 +1

In United States, oligarchs profits from the war

1

ImaginationToForm2 Mar 27, 2026 +1

I trust Putin even less than Trump.

1

GoodOlSkipper Mar 27, 2026 +1

He’s definitely not “asking” them

1

Reasonable-Gas5625 Mar 28, 2026 +1

How to be sure sure who pulls whose strings between Putin and the oligarchs?

1

imaginary_num6er Mar 28, 2026 +1

\*OUR* decision

1

Rhea-8 Mar 28, 2026 +1

Yeah I guess you could call preference of either falling out of a window or funding a war a personal decision.

1

Old_Soc Mar 28, 2026 +1

It's personal, because he'll wipe you and your family out if you don't comply.

1

prazulsaltaret Mar 28, 2026 +1

Yeah just like the forced conscription. Dictatorship, terrorist country.

1

Russia denies Putin asked oligarchs to fund war, calls contribution 'personal decision'

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