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For Sale Apr 16, 2026 at 10:27 AM

Stephen Colbert reacts to Trump's AI Jesus post angering the Knights Templar - "Well, it's official: we're trapped in a Dan Brown movie."

Posted by nimobo

Stephen Colbert reacts to Trump's AI Jesus post angering the Knights Templar
Mashable
Stephen Colbert reacts to Trump's AI Jesus post angering the Knights Templar
"Well, it's official: we're trapped in a Dan Brown movie."
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27 Comments

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orlock Apr 16, 2026 +120
Well, that would explain the nagging feeling that this timeline has been poorly researched.
120
Galahad_the_Ranger Apr 16, 2026 +22
Bold of you to assume Danny-Boy did ANY research
22
Fluid_Check_3054 Apr 16, 2026 +12
https://www.yahoo.com/news/lawrence-whartons-worst-student-trump-025856226.html It would track given the statement by his own college professor
12
DiceMadeOfCheese Apr 16, 2026 +10
Danny-Boy, not Donny-Boy, but your point still stands.
10
Angry-Dragon-1331 Apr 16, 2026 +5
Yeah I was wondering who was taking shots at Dan Brown and was disappointed.
5
baby_armadillo Apr 16, 2026 +4
It does feel a bit like it’s been plagiarized from Umberto Eco, I’d always wondered why.
4
tolley Apr 16, 2026 +26
Hilarious! Someone showed Trump that photo before he posted it. They probably told him that it was doctored.
26
HeatWaveToTheCrowd Apr 16, 2026 +22
A Dan Brown movie written by AI, directed by Kid Rock, and starring Rob Schneider.
22
InfinitiveIdeals Apr 16, 2026 +3
Starring gives Schneider too much credit for his role. He’s the comedic narrator at best.
3
ItsEntirelyPosssible Apr 16, 2026 +5
Trump arises towards the heavens, arms out stretched. From out of the beloved masses comes a call, "You can do iiiiit."
5
dwhite21787 Apr 17, 2026 +1
“When you’re famous, you can dooo iiiit”
1
zMerovingian Apr 16, 2026 +3
And narrated by RFK Jr
3
Wombatapus736 Apr 16, 2026 +11
The Illuminati is quite amused by this whole kerfuffle. Allegedly.
11
Remarkable-Dig-1241 Apr 16, 2026 +7
Could be worse. We could be trapped in a dan brown book..
7
Wolfwoods_Sister Apr 16, 2026 +1
The number of ellipses alone would kill us
1
Dorsai_Erynus Apr 16, 2026 +12
Knights Templar don't exist, they were dissolved by the Pope and never re-instated.
12
pcase Apr 16, 2026 +14
Yes, but also no. The Order of Malta exists and does a lot of what the Templars used to do but mainly charitable now.
14
Dorsai_Erynus Apr 16, 2026 +8
The Hospitallers and by extention the Great Order of Malta never was dissolved. It have nothing to do with Templars except for both being military orders and the time period. The Templars being judged as heretics means that upon dissolution no one is able to claim being a Templar, not just dissolved but also banned. See you can't be a catholic military order without the Pope's acknowlegde, and as far as i know no other Pope proved Clement V wrong in the matter. "At the Council of Vienne in 1312, he issued a series of papal bulls, including Vox in excelso, which officially dissolved the Order, and Ad providam, which turned over most Templar assets to the Hospitallers."
8
BANKSLAVE01 Apr 16, 2026 +3
Neither does the mafia, right?
3
Dorsai_Erynus Apr 16, 2026
If you sport yakuza/bratva tattoos without being one of them you'll be cut at the least.
0
Personal_Bit_5341 Apr 16, 2026 +5
Yeah but Templar have chainmail, you gotta at least stab. Cuts won't work!
5
CommonExamination416 Apr 16, 2026 +2
More like trapped in a simulation
2
Templar-235 Apr 16, 2026 +2
They voted for Trump twice, f*** the Knights Templar
2
neatyouth44 Apr 16, 2026 +1
When I heard about connections between Vance and Opus Dei I knew what movie I should watch. Then I decided that was the worst marketing ever, scrunched my nose up at my phone, and went to refill the mutual aid water stations nearby instead.
1
RheaSloane Apr 17, 2026 +1
lol I kinda get what they mean, sounds like a wild plot twist for sure! XD
1
Mater_Sandwich Apr 16, 2026 -1
There are several groups that call themselves Knights Templar. The one that did this is a UK based white supremacy organization
-1
AFteroppositeday Apr 16, 2026 -1
Was just thinking this. Stephen should dye his hair albino and start chain flogging himself again.
-1
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