“In response to his sinking poll numbers, today Trump posted a New York Times article praising ‘The Apprentice’s’ ratings from April of 2004,” Colbert pointed out.
“Always a tipoff that life isn’t going great for you when you start to brag about something from 22 years ago,” he pointed out. “You kids think dad’s a loser? Well, I’ll have you know that back in high school, I once won two free tickets to see the Spin Doctors in Anaheim at the Grove.”
1008
jahathebrn2 days ago
+247
This is like how my grandma keeps asking my parents how I'm doing in school even though I'm 38
247
ursasmaller2 days ago
+120
Keep those grades up.
120
deran6ed2 days ago
+5
Drink your drugs
5
28Hz2 days ago
+6
Stay in milk
6
Seeker801 day ago
+2
You make sure to brush your face and comb your teeth before going to school, young man!
2
chantsnone2 days ago
+9
Knowledge is power
9
tasthesose1 day ago
+12
France Is Bacon
12
BigToober692 days ago
+8
I have dreams I have to finish a few classes and im way behind and I wont be able to but im pretending its fine. Im 38.
8
Dakota51761 day ago
+7
My dad dreamed he was late to a final he hadn't studied for well into his 90s. That anxiety never goes away.
7
Chemistry112 days ago
+40
She’ll be disappointed to know you haven’t been going to class
40
BrainKatana2 days ago
+28
It’s because unlike that monster, even though her mind is going she is still capable of love and concern for your wellbeing, and it manifests by asking about how school is going.
Hug your gram gram
28
__ThePhantomm2 days ago
+5
well if you get a C then no ice cream for you, young man.
5
hockenduke2 days ago
+6
Yes! What’s up with that?
6
Brolocene2 days ago
+7
Either memory issues, or they dont care enough about you to remember specific details about your life. But, probably memory issues.
7
hockenduke1 day ago
+1
In my family, it’s def the latter.
1
Affectionate_Hornet72 days ago
+5
That happened to my granddad too. Better say goodbye to her while she still knows who you are
5
FaceDownInTheCake2 days ago
+1
r/suicidebywords
1
SparseGhostC2C2 days ago
+1
... are you sure she doesn't have dementia and just think you're still an actual child?
1
Washingtonpinot1 day ago
+1
She’s going to be devastated when she finds out Rusty is still in the Navy.
1
redredbloodwine2 days ago
+26
I never watched a minute of that show and don’t understand why anyone did.
26
Drunken_Wizard232 days ago
+24
I didn't watch past the first season, but as Penn Jillette explained after being on Celebrity Apprentice: Trump's stupidity and irrationality lent itself to reality tv much better than if a more grounded, logical-thinking businessman were to host. His tendency to fly off the handle and fire anyone over anything made for better tv than if the contest was purely merit-based
24
Threadheads1 day ago
+4
Pretty much the same as why the vast majority of couples fail on the a Bachelor franchise or why hardly any of the contestants on The Biggest Loser were able to keep the weight off: what makes good TV and what actually works in real life are two very different things.
4
UrsusRenata2 days ago
+7
Entrepreneurship interest, same appeal as Shark Tank in the beginning.
7
Buckscience2 days ago
Um, Christina Applegate and Katey Sagal, duh!
0
Fresh_Individual55002 days ago
+3
Psst, I think this particular thread is about The Apprentice.
3
Buckscience2 days ago
+3
Entirely possible that I got distracted thinking about Married, With Children. Thanks for steering me straight.
3
slartibartfast642 days ago
+2
I had a brief business relationship with a guy who was 60ish and still had a high school achievement award on his professional bio. LoL.
2
Fuzzy-Butterscotch862 days ago
+1142
Al Bundy. One of the most pitiable tv dads to ever exist. Such a pathetic loser that nobody in his family, even the dog, respected him. Perfectly written to be as big a failure as possible.
What's his one thing he clings to to brighten up his dreadful existence? 4 touchdowns in a single game. Polk High record. He'll brag about it, bend over backwards to bring it up so he can talk about it, fantasize that he's still doing it... Twenty something years later he longs for that glory.
The president of the United States is living his life like the most perfect loser who has ever been written.
The problem is he is deserving of zero pity.
1142
ChemicalGlo2 days ago
+403
Just like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite too.
“How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.”
403
KayBeeToys2 days ago
+198
I recently found out Uncle Rico is also Lazlo from _Real Genius_
Edit: a full measure of credit to Jon Gries for the way he delivers that line. I never played football, and the character is a bit of a buffoon, but he makes that wistful brag into a complete encapsulation of an American Dream unrealized.
198
TheBourbonLied2 days ago
+98
He's also in White Lotus
98
FIRST_DATE_ANAL2 days ago
+38
And he’s Roger Workman in LOST
38
motivation19661 day ago
+3
He played this loser well also!
3
Derton102 days ago
+25
He also got Dylan McKay hooked on heroin.
25
Chemistry112 days ago
+45
He’s also the Wolfman with nards
45
InstructionFinal51902 days ago
+25
From monster squad?! That's awesome
25
Madam_Apathy1 day ago
+19
He was also a homeless man in Seinfeld who wouldn’t give back Kramer’s Tupperware
19
pariah19812 days ago
+45
He’s an integral part of all 3 seasons too
45
Beginning_Tour_93202 days ago
+7
I thought I recognised him. Well spotted.
7
WestboundPachyderm1 day ago
+6
He was also in Get Shorty
6
Boygunasurf1 day ago
+5
He’s also Ron in More American Graffiti (1979, 110 minutes). Definitely a 5-bag of popcorn movie, especially since it’s a sequel.
5
Disastrous-Fold52212 days ago
+16
Hes also in Fallout
16
PurpleBatteryWizard1 day ago
+3
And Dreamcorp LLC!
3
mcaress1 day ago
+3
Killed in WL
*edit: I meant he did a fantastic job lol
3
sparrow_422 days ago
+5
and my axe
5
Debalic1 day ago
+2
He's also the thug with the broken nose in The Rundown.
2
QuietMolasses25221 day ago
+1
Hold up….
1
Pesmerga7772 days ago
+11
Also in Fallout S2
11
WilfordsTrain2 days ago
+9
Lazuli was awesome. *Real Genius* was awesome.
9
rfb6542 days ago
+10
Picks up George’s toupee in Seinfeld
10
Stenchberg2 days ago
+6
He also plays a Vietnam vet that can't sleep on an episode of the xfiles
6
neon_meate1 day ago
+1
I think that episode was my introduction to Tony Todd.
1
Stenchberg1 day ago
+1
He's great
1
winkler4562 days ago
+5
His greatest role (of great roles) was King Vidiot.
5
Oppositeofhairy2 days ago
+4
Lazlo Hollyfeld was my go to password to everything. Then I got hacked. So it WAS a great password.
4
KayBeeToys2 days ago
+2
On a related note, Agamemnon is really fun to type on a QWERTY keyboard. Try it!
2
hearditall10801 day ago
+3
Also Broots on The Pretender…… in case anyone was wondering how old I am.
3
IMA_5-STAR_MAN2 days ago
+3
Lazlo! Buddy!
3
Electrical-Dig85701 day ago
+3
My favorite random fact about the actor is that he is a vegetarian. For the scenes in Napoleon Dynamite where he “eats” steak, he would spit it out at the end of each take.
Just commitment to the role.
3
TeeFuce1 day ago
+2
In Get Shorty.
2
Gazdatronik1 day ago
+2
Napoleons Grandma is also in Real Genius
2
Smileyfax1 day ago
+2
He's also the Wolfman in Monster Squad. "Wolfman's got nards!"
2
greenwithindie211 day ago
+2
He also plays a lawyer in ER for an episode or two
2
VicodinJones1 day ago
+1
He was excellent in both roles!
1
genk1 day ago
+1
He's in Pretender if you like mid-90s mystery/vengence shows as a nerdy side character.
1
ipukedmypants1 day ago
+1
He was also in Alice in Chains' music video for Rooster
1
Morganvegas2 days ago
+21
Betcha I could throw that steak a quarter mile
21
vandyke_browne2 days ago
+8
Looks like there’s a lot of thangs you don’t know about
8
Pickled_doggo2 days ago
+9
I’d be makin millions of dollars, soakin it up in a hot tub with muh soul mate
9
dragonslayerbarbie1 day ago
+2
Omg thank you so much for reminding me of that line lmfao too good
2
RoryBlues1 day ago
+2
“Back in ‘92, I could throw the pigskin a quarter-mile.”
2
csukoh781 day ago
+1
"***clear*** over them mountains" :-)
1
Upset_Code13471 day ago
+1
But...1982!
1
Soft_Hotel_56272 days ago
+53
That's an insult to Al Bundy. Al got up everyday and dragged his miserable ass to the shoe store to at least provide for his family, Al had friends and there were plenty of times where his family told them they loved him or at least thanks. Trump has never worked a hard day in his miserable f****** life. Do you think any of his kids have ever said they love him and meant it?
Put some respect on Al Bundys name.
53
drfeelgood227851 day ago
+5
I remember the episode where he thought his car was stolen after it got washed and he says he had some really expensive valuable stuff in the trunk. Turns out, one of the items was a framed picture of his family. He shit on them all the time, but he definitely loved them.
5
GeneralBS12 hr ago
+1
This might be the comment chain that made that show up on my recommended list.
1
OP-PO72 days ago
+130
The crazy thing is watching that show and realizing that in that era, Al Bundy was considered both fat and poor. The man had a 2000sf 3br house on a shoe store employee salary. Fuckin inconceivable
130
congteddymix2 days ago
+32
You do realize that it’s a TV show and like the house was incredibly dated even by 1980’s standards and that he was still paying on his 1972 Dodge Dart till like the end of the series.
32
OP-PO72 days ago
+48
I wish I had an incredibly dated 2000sf house. I mean damn, I just wish I had a house at all tbh. So he had to make payments on the same car, he also raised two kids right? Absolutely insane. And his wife didn't work if I remember? That might be wrong though idk. Either way, crazy stuff
48
congteddymix1 day ago
-9
His wife didn’t work, that’s partly why they were poor. Have you even watched the show? Next thing you know is you will be saying that Roseanne was living the high life.
-9
OP-PO71 day ago
+7
Brother, that show is older than me. I've seen reruns, but I was maybe 9 when it went off the air.
7
congteddymix1 day ago
-8
Then stop talking about how it was realistic even in the day. It basically parodied show like the Cosby show and was supposed to be absurd. Like one of these episodes they find a secret passage way to the strip club in their basement.
Great show and a fun watch but to even say it was based in reality even then is kind of a stretch.
-8
OP-PO71 day ago
+7
Brother, who said it was realistic? I said he was considered fat and poor in the 90s and if you compare that same standard to today it would seem outlandish. I don't get what you're so confused about man?
7
wsxdfcvgbnjmlkjafals2 days ago
+9
yeah but it's not far off from reality. I grew up in a nice area that got nicer, wealthier. It was not known as a blue-collar neighborhood, but blue collar folk on modest incomes could afford to live there. They didn't go on big holidays, but they had a cottage and a decent life.
Now the houses cost at LEAST twice as much
9
1732PepperCo2 days ago
+28
Jim Carrey has some old standup where he talks about how you can tell how pathetic someone is by how far back they have to reach back for glory and then goes on to do an impersonation of an old man recalling when he was a sperm and he won “The Big Race”
28
Thenotsodarkknight2 days ago
+11
Al was a better man than Trump. Worked at a job he hated to “feed” his family toaster leavins’ and never cheated on his wife despite the funny opportunity here and there on the show.
11
DartBurger692 days ago
+28
Except Al Bundy was still a likeable person.
28
flynnfx1 day ago
+6
#AL Bundy would be 1000x better than the current president.
6
jasno-2 days ago
+16
Al Bundy was the tv dad I was raised on. His one liners were legendary.
There was this episode where Peg complains to Al.about being thirsty, he looks at her, wipes the sweat off his forehead, and flicks it at her, and says something like, drink this. .
What a savage. Nobody was off limits. His kids, his smoke show of wife, his neighbors, coworkers, customers, police, didn't matter. Dude was ready to dish it out 24x7
16
armwithnutrition2 days ago
+2
No Ma’am!
2
mybutthz2 days ago
+4
Al Bundy was also only like 40 years old. Far from highschool, but still closer in the rearview than whatever major achievements Trump is clinging on to.
4
AvonBarksdale6661 day ago
+5
The big difference is that Al Bundy actually achieved something at one point in his life
5
Low_Intention_13272 days ago
+3
Ed who played as Al Bundy, actually ripped into Trump. https://youtu.be/njH2R6-WeVw?si=qpJ6S-634LIont1
3
StinkiePete2 days ago
+3
You're the top comment on the last two posts I opened...
3
Fuzzy-Butterscotch862 days ago
+5
Lol that's crazy. Was the other one the 30 Rock post?
5
StinkiePete2 days ago
+7
haha yeah. I don't know who that duck is but the Carmen San Diego hat stuck out at me.
7
Indirian1 day ago
+3
Aw, FFS, TIL I’m older than Al Bundy was at the start of the series and I’m no where near as successful as he was (by metrics) as he was with a house and family working as a shoe salesman.
3
SgtSchultz21121 day ago
+2
Peggy was such a Wanker.
2
sadtissuehappytissue1 day ago
+2
This is poetry.
2
TraditionalTackle11 day ago
+2
I live next door to a guy who was a big football star in hs. Now he’s unemployed and lives with his mom. He spends most of his time yelling at ppl to get off his lawn.
2
Candelpins18971 day ago
+2
At least Al didn't fantasize about his daughter.
2
hatesbiology841 day ago
+2
Omg, Al would even pose! Remember when his station wagon was gonna hit 1,000,000 miles?!
2
ScreenMuch902102 days ago
+3
Did Mrs. Darcy write this comment?
3
vroart2 days ago
+2
Polk high!!!!
2
Protonic-Reversal9 hr ago
+1
Ever think about Al’s like in comparison to today. In the 90s he was a pathetic loser. But by today’s standards this dude is living the dream. Works a set 40 hours/week. Owns his own 2-story house and car in the suburbs of Chicago, raising two kids with a wife that doesn’t work. Selling shoes! Not dying in some Amazon warehouse. How people today would kill for this life today?
1
100ry7 hr ago
+1
Why did I read this in the voice of Jon Bois
1
Ambigram2372 days ago
+112
There is a gaping chasm inside that man that can never be filled.
112
inkslinger30002 days ago
+63
Ever since his best friend Jeff died
63
teddyKGB-2 days ago
+16
*only and best friend
16
terrierhead1 day ago
+13
Even Jeff said Donnie was the worst.
13
PurpleZebraCabra1 day ago
+3
Ever since his dad decided he wasn't good enough.
3
AgentInkling992 days ago
+4
It was filled once with a tent spike.
4
TechNoirLabs2 days ago
+6
Bubba filled it
6
ParticularAmphibian2 days ago
+2
From what I’ve read, there already is one
2
newbathroomtime1 day ago
+1
[ Removed by Listnook ]
1
doodleywootson2 days ago
+242
How the actual f is his approval rating 32%? How do 32% of you actually still approve of him?
242
Skittleavix2 days ago
+148
Think about how dumb the average human being is.
Then think about how half of us are dumber than that.
148
gnarlife2 days ago
+85
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land—the common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
85
trevorhstephens2 days ago
+16
Nice reference. So perfect
16
Dinker542 days ago
+13
Gene Wilder’s timing and emotion really take it to the next level though:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hYTQ7__NNDI
13
Aleksandrovitch2 days ago
+13
I miss that man.
13
Rude-Truths-7021 day ago
+9
Plus the percentage that refuse to EVER admit they were wrong.
9
th4d892 days ago
+4
And american
4
onlyspacemonkey2 days ago
+2
“Facts” -Me, a dumb american
2
YouSayItLikeItsBad2 days ago
+1
That would be the **median** human being
1
addctd2badideas2 days ago
+20
Because so much of the American public still looks at the left as extremely dangerous, so they've hitched their wagon to Trump even if he's going to take them down.
20
OttoMannkusser2 days ago
+30
I was telling my coworkers how I'd be in a certain neighborhood in town this weekend. One of them says "oh be careful, it's dangerous there."
I asked her if she's ever even been to that neighborhood. She has not.
This is a neighborhood with million dollar homes, but it's "in the city" so she thinks it must be dangerous.
This is the kind of person that keeps trump at a 32% approval.
30
NectarineCheap15412 days ago
+10
I know Christians who think that Minnesota's Governor Walz is an evil demon. One of them is a pastor who preaches it from his pulpit
10
Witchy_Wookie50002 days ago
+40
Watch Jordan Klepper interview some of these people on Daily Show. He had a new segment last night I believe. These people are not living in reality.
Edited as my original comment was insensitive
40
BucketsMcGaughey2 days ago
+7
I've noticed over many years of observation that no matter what topic you pick, there's always around 30% of people that are just hopelessly, eternally on the wrong side of it. It's amazingly consistent. I've come to the conclusion that just under a third of humanity is irredeemable.
7
SockYourself2 days ago
+10
Two things. First, polls are notoriously untruthful. They cherry pick, occlude results, and just straight up lie. Second, I admit your average US citizen is a baffling moron. I don’t think it’s %32, but I bet it’s physically more than %20. Unfortunately none of this matters, because they effectively shove these polls forward. It is a mechanism to stop momentum, used by the rich to get us at each other’s throats.
10
doodleywootson2 days ago
+4
Fair points. PS I realize I wrote this as though I’m not American, which I am, and in the grand scheme, I’m probably lightly moronic. I still know he sucks.
4
NoWool912 days ago
+3
Was speaking to a family friend whose son lives in the US. Partner is Republican doesn’t like the Orange One in Office, but because they are Republican they vote for him.
UK is screwed in its own extent but at least we have more than a two party system.
3
fatkidseatcake2 days ago
+3
Wrong place to ask that question. I always get so happy seeing unified hate on here then I get out of Listnook and see a news segment of my favorite childhood actor eating dinner at the White House
3
Old-Guidance67442 days ago
+3
41% of Americans think dinosaurs and humans lived together
We're genuinely surrounded by toddlers
3
Konowl1 day ago
+3
That… that can’t be true… really?!
3
dat_oracle2 days ago
+5
actual racists, that just ignore the rest.
5
MonkeyBoatRentals2 days ago
+2
32% have totally internalized their support for Trump. Asking if they disapprove of Trump is like asking if they disapprove of themselves. They are true Americans and right about everything and if something goes wrong in their life its somebody else's fault. The same applies to Trump for them. Facts about the world can't penetrate that self-protecting armor.
2
ItHitMeInTheNuts2 days ago
+1
It is a cult, and it has a lot of members
1
Deathbysnusnu172 days ago
+1
Likely none among us. Lol
1
maybe-bacon1 day ago
+1
At this point, his approval rating is likely a direct reflection of the amount of racists who don’t realize they’re self-reporting. It’s his most overwhelming policy through line.
1
MajorKorea1 day ago
+1
First time I’m hearing a poll number under 36%.
1
InterestingDelay74461 day ago
+1
go read the headlines at fox news. that's the news they are reading. it's a calculated media machine, and it works
1
tarareidstarotreadin1 day ago
+1
Because Fox News is one of the most successful propaganda machines the world has ever seen.
1
Coidzor1 day ago
+1
IIRC, around 30% of people will support whoever is "in charge" because they're "in charge" regardless of how horrible they are based upon the studies they've been able to do on the subject.
This current regime is really putting that to the test, though.
1
XXSeaBeeXX1 day ago
Red till we’re all dead.
0
kaizenkaos2 days ago
+26
He might implode if we start calling him President Loser.
26
PearlLagoon1 day ago
+4
Someone send this to Newsoms social media intern stat
4
HangryHuHu2 days ago
+33
More trump buffoonery... i wonder how he sleeps at night (trump)
33
AffectionateBrick6872 days ago
+40
Gauging by Trump's neck circumference and the number of times he's been spotted napping in meetings, he very likely has sleep apnea, so he probably sleeps pretty shitty at night.
40
squigglesquaggler1 day ago
+2
Hopefully.
2
Beneficial_Guess64101 day ago
+1
That’s because of the dementia/sundowning.
1
AffectionateBrick6871 day ago
+1
OSA might actually be a contributing factor to his cognitive decline. People with OSA appear to be at increased risk for developing neurocognitve disorders such as parkinson's and dementia. There is also some evidence that OSA accelerates damage to the hippocampus in those with dementia. That atrophied brain of his probably gets starved of oxygen every time he tries to sleep.
1
ugotmedripping2 days ago
+13
Likely heavily medicated
13
rsoton2 days ago
+3
He doesn’t sleep at night. Sleepy Don sleeps on the job.
3
dragonslayerbarbie1 day ago
+3
Yeah he does speed and rants on Truth Social all night. It's fine tho, he can just sleep during meetings, press briefings, etc. As long as the important work is done 🇺🇸
3
theChzziest2 days ago
+3
On his back with his cpap
3
ferb2 days ago
+5
It has to be decorated in gold right? The Trump Air 9000?
5
glowinthedarkfrizbee1 day ago
+7
I can proudly say i never watched a single episode of the apprentice.
7
CocktailGenerationX1 day ago
+3
Me either!
3
itsforathing2 days ago
+13
>rock solid proof trumps life isn’t going great
I also occasionally tune into his speeches and read his tweets
13
Thumnale1 day ago
+6
His face! His dumb face. His dumb ugly face. His dumb ugly fat face. Is that it?
6
dont_disturb_the_cat1 day ago
+3
We ought to put him to work rebuilding the East Wing of the White House.
3
DarkNStormyNet2 days ago
+7
F****** paywalls
7
Chemistry112 days ago
+4
Pop up for pay, but can be closed. No wall.
4
DarkNStormyNet2 days ago
+3
Just reloaded the page and it worked. I jumped the gun getting annoyed.
3
Aggressive_Price_2122 days ago
+8
Immigration down because Trump puts people in prison, takes their kids away and then since the adult adults to countries they’ve never been in before and has imprisoned there. Why would anybody wanna come to our country which used to be a safe Haven for immigrants? That’s what our country was built on that’s what his family came here for he forgets that his mother was an immigrant. She came here for a better life. Did he hate his mother that much that he’s against every immigration every immigrant that steps on our soil you have to try to send to countries that never seen these people. The people have never been in before don’t even speak the same language you’re a piece of work, Trump why don’t you go to one of these count countries and be put in prison find out what it’s really like.
8
insecurecharm2 days ago
+5
Sooo does that make him an anchor baby? Can we deport him?
5
ellasfella682 days ago
+3
Father too. German.
3
JohnHazardWandering2 days ago
+3
You forgot that he's also screwing up the economy so people aren't coming here because there t aren't as many jobs.
3
Jaoursh1 day ago
+4
This article is the worst
4
BigBoyYuyuh1 day ago
+5
Is he still the president? Then his life is just fine. He. Doesn’t. Care. He’s making billions and living his best life ruining ours.
5
illogical_mindset1 day ago
+3
None of that makes him happy. He wants to be loved and he knows that most people hate his f****** guts.
3
johntwoods1 day ago
+2
Stephen Colbert Spots Rock-Solid Proof Trump's Life 'Isn't Going Great'
The "Late Show" host said these two messages from the president show what's really going on.
“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert on Wednesday said President Donald Trump has found an unusual way to lash out as his popularity continues to plunge.
The latest polls show his approval dropping to just 32%, driven largely by dissatisfaction with how he’s handling the war in Iran and inflation.
Trump turned to social media to share a much more favorable number instead.
“In response to his sinking poll numbers, today Trump posted a New York Times article praising ‘The Apprentice’s’ ratings from April of 2004,” Colbert pointed out.
Indeed, the president shared a two-decade-old Times report about his Season 1 ratings on Truth Social.
Then, three minutes later, he also shared a summary of that same 2004 New York Times article on “The Apprentice” ratings.
Colbert read between the lines.
“Always a tipoff that life isn’t going great for you when you start to brag about something from 22 years ago,” he pointed out. “You kids think dad’s a loser? Well, I’ll have you know that back in high school, I once won two free tickets to see the Spin Doctors in Anaheim at the Grove.”
2
ImpossibleProduct6542 days ago
+4
He's f****** crazy and the Republicans will do nothing about it. This country is doomed
4
Emergency-Pack-54972 days ago
+3
Like i would pay to read this bullshit
3
Clown_Shoe1 day ago
+1
What a horribly toxic website HuffPost has. I just watched a million ads to get through a 1 minute video. If you try and click to go full screen it starts another ad. Just brutal
178 Comments