ListNook

-Not-Your-Lawyer- Apr 4, 2026 +1127

>Says Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro Signed His SpongeBob ... signed ... his... SpongeBob?

1127

Nintoo Apr 4, 2026 +318

You don’t have one?

318

sambull Apr 4, 2026 +146

some peoples families have them surgically removed after birth

146

Nintoo Apr 4, 2026 +99

Ah yeah, I know some people that were circumsponged

99

NIN10DOXD Apr 4, 2026 +28

That’s sponge mutilation. They are victims of child abuse.

28

[deleted] Apr 4, 2026 +3

[removed]

3

Crumbdizzle Apr 5, 2026 +4

Takashi needs to be surgically removed

4

Dolphin_King21 Apr 4, 2026 +3

No, do you? Lost mine a year ago

3

Pipe_Memes Apr 4, 2026 +1

Mine has a different name. I won’t be sharing.

1

buffdaddy77 Apr 5, 2026

No…f***…do I need one?

0

Nintoo Apr 5, 2026

… guess you’ll have to find out

0

Mistrblank Apr 4, 2026 +56

This headline was definitely words

56

Miss-Tiq Apr 5, 2026 +10

Some of the words of all time.

10

JoelnIliketoshare Apr 4, 2026 +47

Im so confused

47

whopperlover17 Apr 4, 2026 +31

Maduro signed 69’s SpongeBob

31

Optimal-Bass3142 Apr 4, 2026 +21

When I worked corrections spongebobs referred to prison issued underwear

21

Invisinak Apr 4, 2026 +8

SpongeBob to us was the pancakes made in a sheet pan by the prisoners for breakfast.

8

hamfisting_my_thing Apr 4, 2026 +11

*Sign my SpongeBob, daddy*

11

zelda_shortener Apr 4, 2026 +3

Maduro be signing on my sponge till I bob.

3

PinIndividual9402 Apr 4, 2026 +4

SpongeBob plushie

4

SHADOWSTRIKE1 Apr 5, 2026 +4

You could have told me the first half of this headline, and not in 1000 years could I have guessed the second half

4

Difficult_Ad2864 Apr 4, 2026 +7

It’s a euphemism

7

Apprehensive-Song200 Apr 4, 2026 +3

It’s a sex thing

3

peppersmiththequeer Apr 5, 2026 +1

Signed his ok pants?

1

EclecticEthic Apr 5, 2026 +1

Sponge9ine, if you will (I am so confused)

1

DeartayDeez Apr 5, 2026 +1

I think he means his prison purse

1

dick-cricket Apr 4, 2026

Prison slang for d*** shaft

0

Baystars2025 Apr 5, 2026

That's prison slang for a shower bj

0

Brilliant_Studio_682 Apr 5, 2026

Aka p****.

0

BusyBeeBridgette Apr 4, 2026 +250

Hug your kids and tell them you love them from time to time.

250

Better_March5308 Apr 4, 2026 +24

And use Tekashi 6ix9ine as an example of what happens to naughty children.

24

TwelveWon Apr 4, 2026 +533

What a sentence. This timeline is batshit crazy

533

Ok-Coconut-5965 Apr 4, 2026 +133

I envy the dead.

133

YugoB Apr 4, 2026 +34

That's an easy fix my friend

34

DublinDown Apr 4, 2026 +22

A complete overhaul of society is more difficult than it sounds, IMO.

22

YugoB Apr 4, 2026 +9

I was just talking about the envy piece

9

i_wap_to_warcraft Apr 4, 2026 +7

Oh I thought you were talking about the dead piece. I was like dayum

7

ActionFigureCollects Apr 4, 2026 +3

Reading skill and vision are cursed

3

Uuuuuii Apr 4, 2026

It’s actually not that easy

0

Dickgivins Apr 4, 2026 +3

They actually have pills for that now :D

3

drinkliquidclocks- Apr 4, 2026 +2

Holy f*** you got my cackling with this

2

19rndtree88 Apr 5, 2026

I also envy this guy's dead

0

Wellcomefarewell Apr 4, 2026

i meaaaaaan

0

imyourrealdad8 Apr 4, 2026 +35

This headline would kill a Victorian child

35

iButtflap Apr 4, 2026 +14

go back and show george washington this shit, return home to the whole country eating bangers and mash

14

Ok-Turnip-9035 Apr 4, 2026 +2

🤣 reading it I thought of a child recounting a story to you and it’s going everywhere but the end You got me with Victorian child 🤣🤣

2

Dolphin_King21 Apr 4, 2026 +1

A Victorian child would kill for a single loaf of bread

1

CruzAderjc Apr 4, 2026 +10

2015 was the last normal year

10

AuroraFinem Apr 5, 2026 +1

It all started when Harambe was murdered in 2016

1

elinamebro Apr 4, 2026 +1

But from him is pretty much expected

1

d_smogh Apr 4, 2026 +1

I want to go back to pre_2016 timeline

1

Trapezoidoid Apr 4, 2026 +1

r/brandnewsentence

1

surgartits Apr 4, 2026 +1

It hurts my brain to read it.

1

ActionFigureCollects Apr 4, 2026 +3

Some might say goal achieved. Being able to attack via this method is next level intelligence.

3

Personal_Discount_12 Apr 4, 2026 +108

What the f*** does that mean

108

d_smogh Apr 4, 2026 +17

stay innocent.

17

CasioDorrit Apr 4, 2026 +47

r/brandnewsentence

47

Andovars_Ghost Apr 4, 2026 +115

SpongeBob is what he calls his p****.

115

iamalwaysrelevant Apr 4, 2026 +20

Is there a story behind why he calls his d*** SpongeBob? I feel like I'm asking clarification for something made up.

20

First-Business-5797 Apr 4, 2026 +39

Because he shows it to children

39

virtual_adam Apr 5, 2026 +10

No wonder he got out of jail. He’ll probably get some presidential medal next

10

Miss-Tiq Apr 5, 2026 +8

It's got holes and some Krusty Krabs.

8

DramaSufficient4289 Apr 5, 2026 +2

It’s actually because it resembles squidwards nose

2

verathene Apr 6, 2026 +1

It’s square and wears a suit

1

BigDipper4200 6 days ago +1

It is made up. He literally was holding a plush spongebob in the video.

1

thathattedcat Apr 5, 2026 +1

I've watched a lot of SpongeBob, and at no point would I say SpongeBob has ever looked like a member or done anything that would suggest dicks, cocks, dongs, schlongs, willies, johnsons, and members should be named after him.

1

Andovars_Ghost Apr 5, 2026 +1

It was a joke. This guy is such a moron that I have to make fun of him.

1

thathattedcat Apr 5, 2026 +1

Fair enough. So what the hell did Maduro even sign then? It was probably just a SpongeBob toy. Except why would this unsavory fellow own one of those?

1

DroneyMcDroner Apr 4, 2026 +34

Is that code for something?

34

KendrickBlack502 Apr 4, 2026 +19

Not a single damn thing in that title made sense to me. I didn’t even know this dude was still alive, let alone in jail.

19

Mrrykrizmith Apr 5, 2026 +5

Let alone in jail in Venezuela lol

5

xed122 Apr 5, 2026 +2

He is not in Venezuela, Maduro is on the US

2

Mrrykrizmith Apr 5, 2026 +1

Oh whoops I read that super wrong. Thought he was in a jail in Venezuela (obviously lol)

1

BakedWizerd Apr 4, 2026 +132

I genuinely believe the world would be a better place if Daniel Hernandez had never existed to begin with. He has added nothing of value to the music industry, he is a horrible influence on the people who are drawn to him, and has done nothing positive for the world.

132

mikebanetbc Apr 4, 2026 +31

And yet none of the Nine Trey Gangsta Bloods *(his own crew that he snitched on 🐀)* have gone after him…

31

Jgibbjr Apr 4, 2026 +25

I'm somewhat surprised he's still alive after a stint in prison. Catching the snitch tag Usually leads to negative outcomes when you're incarcerated, no?

25

THEFIJIAN510 Apr 5, 2026 +2

People like him are usually not put in general population for that reason. He might have protection from another gang, that's if an another gang would take him. Otherwise he's not around the inmates, on the outside he has bodyguards he pays to protect him.

2

NutBusster69 Apr 4, 2026 +8

Some year ago, there was a video of I think a random dude getting on 69's helmet in the locker room at a gym. Wish I saved it lol Found [it](https://www.listnook.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/11y4sn9/rapper_6ix9ine_jumped_in_bathroom_at_la_fitness/)

8

BakedWizerd Apr 4, 2026 +13

I genuinely do not care about the particulars of his gang activity. I could not give a shit if I tried. I can’t even fathom to guess what a “nine trey” is.

13

Final_Pickle1402 Apr 4, 2026 +12

You get more treys of food in prison if you run with a gang. These guys were pretty high up so they were getting 9!

12

captaincrunk82 Apr 5, 2026 +2

They were getting 9 factorial treys of food, breaking the laws of physics and shit

2

Workingdad_83 Apr 4, 2026 +5

I’m just spitballing here. But maybe 93rd street Bloods.( Nine Tre Bloods) But gangs like the Gangster Disciples use the numbers to represent letters in the alphabet 7. 4.=G.D.= Gangster Disciples. 13. 7. 4. =Maniac Gangster Disciples and so on. I am sure a quick google search could clear all the speculation up though.

5

tkrr Apr 4, 2026 +10

To be fair, he’s mostly just some doofus. He’s, like, barely 1/10 of a GG Allin.

10

1017Omar Apr 4, 2026 +3

I know alot of Daniel Hernandez. So uhm when you enter his name in your book think of the right one.

3

dredope169 Apr 4, 2026 +5

Prolly, but you could say that about all the inherently bad ppl out there

5

Nocturnal_submission Apr 4, 2026 +4

I legitimately thought he died

4

meizhong Apr 5, 2026 +2

Who the f*** died then??? I thought this dude was dead too. For like 5 years. I swear to god some m*********** with a rainbow grill died 5 years ago. Wtf.

2

DramaSufficient4289 Apr 5, 2026 +2

Juice world

2

meizhong Apr 5, 2026 +4

That too, but it was XXXTentacion I was confusing him with.

4

Nocturnal_submission Apr 5, 2026 +2

Yep same

2

meizhong Apr 5, 2026 +2

I remember now (with some help from Google), XXXTentacion.

2

wagman43 Apr 4, 2026 +3

Idk that Vlad interview was funny asf

3

TheActualDonKnotts Apr 5, 2026 +1

Didn't he snitch on a bunch of people for a lighter sentence, or I'm I confusing him for someone else?

1

GoldDoubleCup Apr 4, 2026 -6

What a horrible opinion lol F****** Listnook

-6

splitfinity Apr 4, 2026 +2

Ok, where’s your list of his achievements and positive influences he’s had on anything? He’s a shit stain off a person and he attracts other shit stains. And he encourages other kids who are on the shit stain fence to jump to the shit stain side thinking they can make money by being a complete asshat as well. Then when they tat up their face and do lots of drugs, they find out that they are now unemployable and have a drug addiction.

2

lemon_pepper_wang Apr 4, 2026 -2

F*** outta here. He’s living his best life and having his way as does literally every other guy at the same age with a rap career. He put away a lot of people way more dangerous than him and has done his time two or three times. While I personally don’t like most of his music, he’s no better nor worse than most rappers. The hate is forced and probably racist.

-2

AlrightWillHunting Apr 4, 2026 +21

None of these words are in the Bible

21

jynkyousha Apr 4, 2026 +13

Spongebob is.

13

GlumZookeepergame124 Apr 4, 2026 +2

Does Bikini Bottom = Jerusalem now?

2

cloacasmell Apr 4, 2026 +1

always has

1

Illesbogar Apr 4, 2026 +1

Well, the bible isn't in english.

1

slawnz Apr 4, 2026 +22

I am so so sick of sites / blogs that cannot write a cohesive headline. I just won’t click, f*** them. Learn to write.

22

MalarkEMark Apr 4, 2026 +13

Clearly sponge worthy

13

Wouldwoodchuck Apr 4, 2026 +6

It’s that English??? What in tarnation

6

big_spliff Apr 4, 2026 +6

/r/brandnewsentence

6

Saltynut99 Apr 5, 2026 +7

I genuinely thought he was shot and killed like 2-3 years ago…minds are crazy

7

wikipuff Apr 4, 2026 +11

Why do we keep giving this guy media attention?

11

S1R2C3 Apr 4, 2026 +5

The writers aren't even trying this season.

5

EffReddit420 Apr 4, 2026 +9

He added that he got a signature from Maduro, who is also being held at the Metropolitan Detention Center, on his SpongeBob, which he affectionately refers to as “Sponge9ine.”

9

Nekrosis666 Apr 4, 2026 +10

I like how they added that as if it explains anything.

10

wookiee42 Apr 5, 2026 +2

You have to click on the IG story below that. Terrible writing, but probably makes them money somehow. I needed to figure that one out.

2

Antidepress-Ant Apr 4, 2026 +4

For those confused, there is a video of his release in which he walks out of jail holding a Spongebob plushie drawn on and signed with sharpie

4

mykarachi_Ur_jabooty Apr 5, 2026 +4

I thought this dude was dead? What

4

Dorkseid1687 Apr 4, 2026 +3

What a piece of shit

3

Da5ren Apr 4, 2026 +3

I just don’t understand where all the money comes from for his jewellery etc. he hasn’t had a hit song since 2020 and was broke at one point. What’s going on

3

curiousengineer601 Apr 5, 2026 +1

I can get you a huge chain that’s basically plated gold over some base metal. Fake diamonds are super c**** and i will toss in a few fake rolex watches for $200 extra that the average person can’t tell they are fake

1

jaavuori24 Apr 4, 2026 +3

not even trying to hate on him in particular here, but what a sign that you were living your life wrong that you were bumping elbows in jail with the leader of another nation that the leader of your nation kidnapped. like bro you might have been in more peril than you thought😅

3

BrianOconneR34 Apr 4, 2026 +3

Odd way to refer to your own d***.

3

Just_Candle_315 Apr 4, 2026 +5

I hate this timeline

5

gs181 Apr 4, 2026 +2

this headline is very 2026

2

MrArmageddon12 Apr 4, 2026 +2

Sad news that he is out of jail.

2

SNSN85 Apr 4, 2026 +2

Is “signed” and “SpongeBob” code for something?

2

Skyler_Kurgan Apr 4, 2026 +2

Unexpected sentence

2

Purp1eC0bras Apr 4, 2026 +2

His hairline is getting higher and higher lol going to need more tattoos

2

LSDZNuts Apr 4, 2026 +2

I thought he was shot in a robbery gone wrong ???? Where am I

2

DasKleineFerkel25 Apr 4, 2026 +2

Don't validate this idiot again... justvlet him fade away

2

Bubuhbuh Apr 4, 2026 +2

TIL: 69 calls his p**** "SpongeBob"

2

unoptimisticoptimist Apr 4, 2026 +2

Wtf is this headline?

2

ripyourlungsdave Apr 4, 2026 +2

I assume, with all those tattoos, that he means his d***.

2

Hollowbody57 Apr 4, 2026 +2

I could have sworn this guy died like 5 years ago.

2

meizhong Apr 5, 2026 +1

I did too. I remember now that was XXXTentacion.

1

buuismyspiritanimal Apr 5, 2026 +2

“He added that he got a signature from Maduro, who is also being held at the Metropolitan Detention Center, on his SpongeBob, which he affectionately refers to as “Sponge9ine.”” What

2

sentienthaemorrhoid Apr 5, 2026 +2

Dudes not at all big enough to make that statement about not hanging himself.

2

kermi42 Apr 5, 2026 +2

I thought he was dead

2

Dino_Survivor Apr 4, 2026 +2

I thought he died? Or was that another guy with a similar name? Maybe I’m in the wrong Berenstein world.

2

MastamindedMystery Apr 4, 2026 +1

This was my first thought as well.

1

meizhong Apr 5, 2026 +1

I thought the same thing at first. I remember now (with some help from Google), XXXTentacion.

1

Dino_Survivor Apr 5, 2026 +2

Ahhh yeah that’s the guy

2

armaedes Apr 4, 2026 +1

Is that a euphemism?

1

PrincePound Apr 4, 2026 +1

Six ix nine ine

1

Bud_Bones_69 Apr 4, 2026 +1

[ Removed by Listnook ]

1

ThePLARASociety Apr 4, 2026 +1

And Sponge Bob is Tekashi for what exactly?

1

vroart Apr 4, 2026 +1

Maduro was a bus driver who could talk to birds. Chavez said his government was the best he could appoint the most common man into power. He would die, and as Maduro would start to lose control he quickly went into authoritarianism and sicked out biker gangs against citizens and then later used gangs and armies to maintain power. Not a man you to sign your SpongeBob

1

One-Abbreviations339 Apr 4, 2026 +1

He’s in jail with a SpongeBob. How, why?

1

AgentUnknown821 Apr 4, 2026 +1

SpongeBob got Mr Crabs killed with bombs masquerading as Cherry Pies so Mr Crabs put him in Rikers (as the lore goes in my mind) Makes sense why Maduro signed SpongeBob’s chest. They’re both wanna-be big shot killers…

1

LeeMcNasty Apr 4, 2026 +1

What a fuckin headline

1

Pauls-boutique Apr 4, 2026 +1

This headline should exist, what does it even mean?

1

SelfSniped Apr 4, 2026 +1

My bingo card did not have this one.

1

tropnevaDniveK Apr 4, 2026 +1

r/brandnewsentence

1

Mummiskogen Apr 4, 2026 +1

His Bob Le'Ponge

1

RunningPirate Apr 4, 2026 +1

Didn’t he rat out his gang?

1

obi_wan_peirogi Apr 5, 2026 +1

He isnt gonna last ling on the streets

1

wyoflyboy68 Apr 5, 2026 +1

Piece of human garbage.

1

Responsible-Bend-183 Apr 5, 2026 +1

First person in my bloodline to read this sentence

1

aussiemetalhead Apr 5, 2026 +1

I thought he got out ages ago?

1

Tenrac Apr 5, 2026 +1

I thought jail was supposed to be punishment, not an autograph opportunity? Why the f*** does tekashi get to take his toys into jail?

1

KeyPsychological7172 Apr 5, 2026 +1

He was just in the last avatar movie

1

-averagecadaver- Apr 5, 2026 +1

Didn’t that guy r*** children?

1

verathene Apr 6, 2026 +1

“I know those words but that sign makes no sense.”

1

Lee_Wilton_Manors 6 days ago +1

I was there when he was arrested a few years back, he had been hiding out almost exactly opposite my apartment on w46th between 9th and 10th. It was crazy scene with a ton of police armed with rifles. I don’t see him but I saw the report of who they arrested I think on TMZ the next day.

1

BriefFisherman8771 Apr 5, 2026 +1

Am I having a stroke?

1

tamaytotomahto Apr 4, 2026

What happened to us.

0

Tekashi 6ix9ine Released From Jail, Says Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro Signed His SpongeBob

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