Trump orders 'shoot-to-kill' action on Iranian vessels choking Strait of Hormuz

Thats what i’d call the “straight” men i slept with.

but unlike Schrodinger's cat, the Schrodinger's Strait is open when you don't look, but closed when you do. 100% of the time.

🇺🇸 The home of Schrodinger’s Ceasefire 🇺🇸

Hey Pete, hold a press conference and claim America has fully opened the Straight of Hormuz for sea water to pass through. 🇺🇸

..and the blockade, but otherwise, totally open..

We're done here.

Is it Aladeen news?, or Aladeen News?

Strait of Aladeen

What a terrible day to be literate lmao

Good god

Amazing that's what happens when you elect a guy who has only ever been successful as a Reality TV host...

You wanted WWF in politics. You got a weird ass WWF character for a president.

Getting what they voted for

The Will of the People (as in Last Will and Testament)

I've read backs of cereal boxes with a larger vocabulary than trump has XD

>his expression 😒

Can have all the money in the world but his parents guaranteed him that he would likely never find happiness. He removed the likely by immediately following in his father's footsteps when he hit adulthood.

He inherited his mom's bad plastic surgery.

Yeah, why do we keep assuming his Dad talks to him?

Robber Barron

Don't sleep on the UFC Peace Prize

It’s the math RFK Jr was talking about yesterday that doesn’t math

11 % of a plan?

It's "you there, cease!", then "fire!". It's the American way: "stop and I'll shoot!"

Seize/fire

A yes, the ICE diet I see it, I eat it.

No, new wars!

You forgot bigly and that they forget to thank him.

Oh, what a awful thing to say! Seeing Trump die by choking on his own vomit in the middle of a big party while everyone there laughs at his fate is just... just... Wait, was 'awful' the right word?

No the Mad King actually had competent people surrounding him before the end

The best I can do is Tucker Carlson.

Gotta be one of the secret service no ? Pretty much the equivalent to King's Guard

Cease? Fire!

We ain't found shit!

If you went to any studio in the world and said, "I have an idea for a movie. The protagonist is the son of the most prominent family in America. He gets addicted to heroin, snorts cocaine off the toilet seats in public restrooms, gets infected with a brain worm that eats part of his brain, takes his grandchildren to swim with him in raw sewage, and straps the head of a dead whale to the roof of his car on a family trip resulting in everyone inside getting drenched with whale juices. Also, he collect raccoon dicks that he cuts off roadkill. Eventually he becomes the Secretary of Health and Human Services." they'd laugh you out of their office. Even if you told them no, it's a satirical comedy, they'd still say it's too ridiculous of an idea.

lol that's basically it. It's just the latest Trump 'Steiner Moment'.

All covfefe-class minesweepers are standing down and standing by for your orders, sir! 💀

The entire disinformation ecosystem has been running 24/7/365 since 1980. It's no wonder the cultists are ready to go to the comet.

I think they are always distracted by their manipulated market trades.

Any ship can be a minesweeper once. Just do what your Navy is best at: throwing Burkes at problems /s

He just ordered the Navy to have minesweepers.

I DECLARE.....MINESWEEPERS!

Baron is good with the cyber. He’ll have the mines cleared by noon.

Stock buybacks are keeping the market afloat. S&P 500 companies spent [over a trillion dollars on buybacks in 2025](https://www.fool.com/research/stock-buyback-statistics/), and Q4 2025 hit a new quarterly buyback record. Juat imagine the capital needed to keep the prices from.tanking since.January.

I just assume Trump will do something to somehow make the strait impassable for the rest of time. I don't know what but his fuckups are so incredible he'll find a way.

The good times are killing me.

2008 will look like heaven soon. We had good leadership back then capable of fixing problems.  Obama was there to crisis manage. Even W Bush knew domestic economics better than this fool. Almost as important, John McCain wasn't wrong when he said "the fundamentals of our economy are strong".  The world faced fewer threats to the gas market. The Main Street economy was fairly stable. We had no AI threatening to either strangle the labor market or create a bubble.  Leadership matters, especially in crises. The main problem is Trump. He can yell at the tides all he wants. He is not a problem solver

Maybe he ment freedom from this earthly realm?

She also is too young and out of touch with the older billionaire crowd.

They didn’t even think that far, all they know is that Trump makes liberals mad and that’s literally their entire political platform