· 199 comments · Save ·
News & Current Events Mar 31, 2026 at 10:38 PM

Trump says U.S. will leave Iran in 'two or three weeks'

Posted by invincibilegoldfish

Trump to address nation on Iran war Wednesday night, White House says
CNBC
Trump to address nation on Iran war Wednesday night, White House says
President Donald Trump said he expected that U.S. military forces will leave Iran in "two or three weeks."
🚩 Report this post

199 Comments

Sign in to comment — or just click the box below.
🔒 Your email is never shown publicly.
mediocre_remnants Mar 31, 2026 +2338
Trump says all kinds of stuff and then changes his mind. It's not even worth paying attention to what he says, just what he does.
2338
Tree1Dva Mar 31, 2026 +525
Absolutely this. I'm so sick of the news feed being dominated by headlines of the latest meaningless words he or hegseth has uttered, the vast majority of them are pointless, contradictory, or just delaying 
525
Oldiebones Mar 31, 2026 +243
Flooding the zone. Notice how nobody is talking about the Epstein files anymore?
243
ShakesDontBreak Apr 1, 2026 +141
People are still talking about the epstein files. But notice no one is talking about how Kristi Noem stole money?
141
Boner4Stoners Apr 1, 2026 +81
That’s cuz we’re all talking about her husband’s fake t***. Tomorrow we’ll resume talking about her fraud. I’m pretty sure the dirt on her husband was leaked from Team Trump to prepare the base for Noem getting thrown under the bus. I expect Hegseth will get treated similarly over the next couple months as Trump tries to place all of the blame for the Iran quagmire on him.
81
SSGASSHAT Apr 1, 2026 +14
I would like, just for a change, to have one year where nothing the government does is noteworthy enough to make it on to the news. I'm f****** sick of it. Every year for my entire life, it's something else. And for the last decade, it's been exponentially worse for reasons that should be obvious. Please, just one year, God. One year where I don't have to read that the president was caught using the constitution as toilet paper, or that we started a war on the UN, or that a cabinet secretary's husband is a furry, or some other stupid shit that no one needs in their life. One year where nothing happens but the government doing its job, that being regulating the greedy assholes in the world, helping the helpless, and not putting it on f****** TV.
14
Nichoros_Strategy Apr 1, 2026 +9
Best I can do is a chip implant that lets you hear/see whatever you want, but with ads in your dreams. And then after a year it’s all state run media.
9
SSGASSHAT Apr 1, 2026 +2
Let's compromise; the chip puts me in a coma after a year, and that way I can just spend the rest of my life hooked up to a machine without having to listen to it.
2
Jet2work Apr 1, 2026 +2
to be honest if someone put a few million in my account id wear fake t*** too
2
sunsetair Apr 1, 2026 +3
Hundreds of millions. But they cancelled all support for pediatric cancer research. It was only a few million promised.
3
Modronos Apr 1, 2026 +16
Everyone's still talking about the Epstein files. Waging a war because of it is a splendid way to make it even worse. Release ALL the unredacted files.
16
brakiri Apr 1, 2026 +7
the files are the distratction. the war is something else. nobody will face justice in the USA over either.
7
ineyeseekay Apr 1, 2026 +10
I think everyone understands the cost to Americans for him keeping them from us pretty much says it all. 
10
brazeau Apr 1, 2026 +7
Thats the point. Then when something actually matters, it's written off as noise.
7
Tree1Dva Apr 1, 2026 +12
I know, it's right out of the Bannon/Miller playbook. I just wish the media wasn't so gullibly playing into it (fully aware that the media was just as gullible treating trump like a real and serious candidate in 2015-2016)
12
Zolomun Apr 1, 2026 +8
Gullible and complicit are two different things.
8
Good_Restaurant15 Apr 1, 2026 +2
"Gullible"... is not the word. They are on the same team. Team Capital. They are all in the Epstein files.
2
under_the_c Apr 1, 2026 +10
If one guy says it raining, and the other guy says it's sunny, your job as a journalist isn't to quote both of them, it's to go outside yourself and see what the weather is doing!!
10
C-Redd-it Apr 1, 2026 +2
Except those journalists have bosses who have to approve the story. No gotcha pieces unless whoever you work for is going to benefit. Especially with today's very litigious pedo-in-chief.
2
CleverInternetName8b Mar 31, 2026 +99
It’s also f****** “two weeks” every time. It’s basically synonymous with either never or I have no f****** clue at this point. I can’t believe the media and markets even acknowledge it.
99
meat_sack Apr 1, 2026 +16
Two weeks to flatten the curve.
16
SSGASSHAT Apr 1, 2026 +2
I wonder why they choose two. Wouldn't the basic unit of measurement be one week? If we're just making numbers up, what's wrong with one? Shit, say it's ending tomorrow, if you're making it up anyway.
2
GenericRedditor0405 Apr 1, 2026 +17
Two weeks is soon, but long enough to hope people have moved on and forgot about what you’ve promised by the time it’s been two weeks.
17
spate42 Apr 1, 2026 +34
Market manipulation
34
turquoise_amethyst Apr 1, 2026 +3
Yup, with a big switch on Friday 
3
PrivatePilot9 Apr 1, 2026 +9
Even the stock market has started realize this and the pump and dumps aren’t working quite like they once did.
9
ForsakenRacism Apr 1, 2026 +18
He also always says 2 weeks. So him saying 2-3 weeks is WORSE than what he usually says
18
senti82 Mar 31, 2026 +9
Well, I would say he's lying straight away, instead of 'changing his mind'
9
Hex65 Apr 1, 2026 +3
He just thinks it all goes away when he "leaves Iran" ? Him and everyone around is deep deep trouble.
3
Unusual_Tie_2404 Mar 31, 2026 +7
Actually, the opposite of what he says is usually the truth. So you can pay attention to that extent.
7
invincibilegoldfish Mar 31, 2026 +740
"We leave because there’s no reason for us to do this,” Trump told reporters at the White House after a month of waging war with Iran.
740
Big_Huckleberry_6851 Mar 31, 2026 +475
If there's no reason why after two or three weeks, why not right now?
475
invincibilegoldfish Mar 31, 2026 +231
He needs time to think of some excuse ig
231
NotUniqueWorkAccount Mar 31, 2026 +86
He distracted from Epstein List and the Government Shutdown just long enough that his side wouldn't start pushing back.  They have memories of goldfish so we're back to square one at the moment.  Delay delay delay Appeal appeal appeal is all this Prick knows.
86
Alfred_The_Sartan Apr 1, 2026 +30
The biggest issue I have with folks calling Trump stupid is that all his new shit is working exactly as designed. Every single time, his strategies benefit him. You’d think after all this time folks would stop with the ‘controllers’ or ‘moron’ narratives but they’re still the leading talking points. Everything he tries works out for him one way or the other. Stop calling him stupid or making jokes about diapers. The word you’re looking for is Evil. He is completely and unapologetically Evil.
30
SSGASSHAT Apr 1, 2026 +9
It's possible to be stupid and evil at the same time. And you must remember that Trump is just doing what his friends in the ruling class want. It's not just him in those files, and it's not just him that benefits from this catastrophe, it's everyone with a 10 to 12-digit net worth. It's remarkably easy to commit evil actions when you've removed yourself from the rest of humanity using financial means. That being said, Trump is evil. He may not think his evil actions through, and he may not consider himself evil, evil people rarely do. But in the same way as it's possible to have evil children, it's definitely possible to have evil, senile white men with too much f****** money and too much f****** power.
9
Reddit_wander01 Apr 1, 2026 +4
Well, I can’t think of one thing promised actually came through without unraveling, going nowhere or just blowing up..
4
BuyerAlive5271 Mar 31, 2026 +42
Because he can’t end the war today. It’s out of his control. In two weeks it will be the same situation.
42
SatanicPanic619 Mar 31, 2026 +39
Yeah, he fucked up and now Iran controls what happens. It's nothing more complicated than that.
39
Tsar-A-Lago Apr 1, 2026 +10
If the con man loses control, he'll tapdance until he can re-establish it. The Iranians aren't f****** playing though, and they'll just sit on the Strait until it's seriously advantageous to not do that. Some of these people are literal jihadists, and *Donald Trump* thinks his resolve is equal to theirs. The guy who can't pay attention to his own verbal f****** briefings because he gets bored.
10
Broken_Reality Mar 31, 2026 +43
He needs to pump the prices of oil and everything else up a bunch so some of his rich trader mates can make more money. Then he will tell all his friends who use Polymarket the date he will stop things so they can also make fat stacks of cash. Just like how people made hundreds of thousands of dollars by picking the exact time Trump bombed Iran. It's all just so corrupt. I wonder how much Don Jnr made on his "bets" on polymarket this year?
43
vfdfnfgmfvsege Apr 1, 2026 +4
Wow you're absolutely right
4
two_to_toot Mar 31, 2026 +17
Or don't start the war to begin with. To quote Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew, 'This is not a just war, this is a dumb war'.
17
cityspeak Mar 31, 2026 +4
Pete wants to blow up more shit so they can proclaim that Iran military is completely obliterated.
4
Hate_Manifestation Apr 1, 2026 +4
gotta catch that last market dip when he says "jk we're not leaving yet"
4
poukai Apr 1, 2026 +2
Needs 2 to 3 weeks for some market manipulation first. Also burying the Epstein story under a mountain of Iranian rubble.
2
cybah Apr 1, 2026 +2
They haven't manipulated the stock market enough yet.
2
Throwaway0242000 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Gotta see how the markets react first
2
exoriparian Apr 1, 2026 +2
Market manipulation
2
fartsonyourmom Mar 31, 2026 +3
Russia isn't making enough money. 
3
Used_Heron1705 Mar 31, 2026 +92
"We leave because there’s no reason for us to do this,” So first he screws up the world economy by going in and now after the damage is done and he knows he can't win this, he is trying to act non-chalant. The strait of Hormuz is closed. Before the war, it was open. Whether the strait remains closed or Iran imposes a toll, it is going to lead to an increase in energy prices and make the lives of poor in developing countries a lot more tough. But he does not care! I can't believe we need to get through 3 more years of this!
92
incachu Apr 1, 2026 +51
The unintended consequence of Trumps dumb war is that it has highlighted, to a global audience, the huge vulnerability of a continued reliance on middle east oil. A 20 mile wide channel gets closed off and we see a near immediate 40-50% rise in oil barrel prices. I'd like to think the move to renewable and EV energy infrastructure is going to be dramatically accelerated by the great motivator that is "absolute necessity".
51
Jeffuk88 Apr 1, 2026 +21
The world thought they could rely on America being the world police if iran tried to close the straight. Trump just managed to show that they cant do jack
21
AnachronisticPenguin Apr 1, 2026 +5
At least is unwilling to do jack. Trump as always is very good at starting conflicts without an end game in mind or the resolve to see them through.
5
Hey-Bud-Lets-Party Apr 1, 2026 +3
The world has known this for decades.
3
Topblokelikehodgey Mar 31, 2026 +13
Can the world get some sort of civil lawsuit going against the US government and demand trillions in payments due to the damage that they've unnecessarily caused here. Put Israel in it as well. These cunts have ruined so many fucken lives, potentially for generations
13
RedWhiteChill Mar 31, 2026 +2
Well this is the best decision though yeah you’re right it was self inflicted and now life will be harder. Still it’s better to cut losses now. Hopefully this is true and not just to Pearl Harbor / sucker punch them again
2
RhubarbAfter4008 Apr 1, 2026 +3
> 3 more years of this You wouldn't if anyone in the lauded system of checks and balances against bad actor presidents would grow some balls.
3
Snarl_Marx Mar 31, 2026 +26
For a man who has said some outrageously tone deaf and downright evil things, this is up there. Oh, those US soldiers didn’t need to die or be put in harm’s way. Those school children didn’t need to die. We didn’t need to spend billions of dollars on those bombs and missiles and naval mobilization. No reason for us to be there. No shit.
26
007meow Mar 31, 2026 +10
I’m guessing Pete’s gonna get thrown under the bus, because it’s not like he’s gonna throw shade at Netanyahu
10
HeatWaveToTheCrowd Mar 31, 2026 +8
It's because you don't have the cards, grandpa.
8
jupiterkansas Mar 31, 2026 +17
Murdered a bunch of people for no reason.
17
frumperino Mar 31, 2026 +8
not for no reason. Hegseth climaxed so hard
8
wrathofthedolphins Apr 1, 2026 +4
He JUST figured out there’s no reason to do this?
4
mspe1960 Mar 31, 2026 +4
wait - I thought the purpose was to make sure they can never make nukes again. Have we accomplished that? Do we have their enriched uranium? Do we know they cannot rebuild whtever we may have destoryed? What exactly have we accomplished?
4
ai9909 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Doesn't pulling out just move the conflict onto american soil?
3
Alexexy Apr 1, 2026 +3
Iran has a very limited capability to sustain strikes against the US. Iran backed terrorism is likely going to happen regardless.
3
GiraffeWC Apr 1, 2026 +4
"There's no reason for us to do this" sums up the entire Iran invasion 2026 experience, and yet here they are.
4
schu4KSU Mar 31, 2026 +69
The first rule of negotiation is to tell your opponent what you are going to do regardless their concessions.
69
xMercurex Apr 1, 2026 +9
Art of the deal
9
WigSplitter117 Mar 31, 2026 +132
So he's going to invade at the weekend.
132
madmaxGMR Apr 1, 2026 +26
Just a quick tap to the markets before friday.
26
dattokyo Apr 1, 2026 +5
More insider trading needs to be done, after all! Crazy that it's not a bigger story in the US. There are clearly people making hundreds of millions on Trumps market manipulation, and it's barely a news story most places. So many people need to be in jail.
5
EmmaFrostBroken Apr 1, 2026 +2
How sad is it, that it really is this simple, whatever he says, it'll be the opposite.
2
bluemaciz Mar 31, 2026 +68
Back to this “in 2 weeks” bs again?
68
WasteBinStuff Mar 31, 2026 +343
Whelp. There it is. We're never leaving.
343
NativeMasshole Mar 31, 2026 +83
He's stalling until the weekend ground invasion.
83
BTMarquis Apr 1, 2026 +36
Markets are closed for Good Friday, so he gets a bonus three day invasion weekend.
36
NativeMasshole Apr 1, 2026 +20
Markets are closed for good Friday. 😮 Oh, no, wait. Markets are closed for Good Friday.
20
TVPaulD Apr 1, 2026 +6
Lionel Hutz, is it really you?
6
Tumble85 Mar 31, 2026 +27
He's gonna leave, declare victory, and there will be a toll booth (that wasn't there before) on the hormuz strait that Trump's greedy ass gets money from. Hit me up in 3 weeks, I'm betting I'm right.
27
Nero92 Mar 31, 2026 +11
You polymarketting that one? Lol. I bet he settles for a toll run by Iran but he gets a percentage. 
11
Tumble85 Mar 31, 2026 +12
Yea that's what I said. We should polymarket it, it's the greediest option possible so it's the most likely lol
12
Nero92 Mar 31, 2026 +5
You know, we live in a dumb f****** reality when your statement holds water
5
sandfleazzz Mar 31, 2026 +50
TACO Tuesday.
50
substorm Apr 1, 2026 +2
It’s evident he is mentally challenged
2
skibbin Mar 31, 2026 +30
Two Weeks™
30
The-Jesus_Christ Mar 31, 2026 +149
So Trump further radicalised the government, likely radicalised the population that was, prior to this, largely friendly to the West, the Strait remains closed, the govt will be more now than ever intent on developing nukes, energy infrastructure across the gulf will take years to repair keeping oil costs high, so what, exactly, was achieved in all this? This is, for all intents and purposes, a defeat for the US.
149
The_Returned_Lich Mar 31, 2026 +83
>so what, exactly, was achieved in all this? Trumps buddies get richer? Russia sanctions lifted? Israel got to attack Lebanon, while nobody was really looking? Uhm... Libs owned?
83
Keef--Girgo Apr 1, 2026 +6
We don't try to explain the rationale when granny starts eating the potpourri in the bowl next to her wheelchair at the nursing home. So why would be try to make sense of any of this?
6
got-trunks Apr 1, 2026 +2
And there are so so few looking lol. US will be in Iran for as long as it takes to just have everything south of the Litani. Like 7-8 years tops.
2
Bulletloader Mar 31, 2026 +17
Don’t forget the upgraded security threat level to every country that the Irani’s believe is a US ally
17
pew-pew-bacca Mar 31, 2026 +24
Nobody does a better job of radicalizing people against the US than the US itself. People that would otherwise have been ambivalent or even in favor of US intervention in their home country can pretty quickly turn vigilantly anti-US when drone strikes start killing and maiming their families and the power vacuum allows an even more brutal regime to take power.
24
Curious-Row2410 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Couldn't be a better example than me, really. I grew up next door to the US and almost married an American, now I virulently hate the country and want it to burn to ashes. Edit: Because it was stupid enough to re-elect Trump, not because of my relationship hah.
3
Salohacin Apr 1, 2026 +2
And distanced the US from all of their allies. No one wants to deal with dementia Don.
2
AnastasiaWookieTits Mar 31, 2026 +21
Thanks for the update, Trump. Can I get fries with that?
21
DashingDace Mar 31, 2026 +6
Supersize me
6
East1st Mar 31, 2026 +17
Didn’t Putin say the same thing 4 years ago?
17
Skeleton-ear-face Apr 1, 2026 +6
Bingo
6
Shopworn_Soul Apr 1, 2026 +30
When my brother was little, his thing was always *"Two minutes! Just two minutes!"* in his desperate nightly attempts to avoid going to bed. He had no plan, he had nothing to do and he was obviously tired. He just didn't want to go to bed. That's all I can hear from this guy any time he says *"Two weeks".*
30
moomshiki Mar 31, 2026 +12
It is a distraction and market manipulation. It's definitely the opposite for another 'surprise attack'. But the Iranians saw it from miles away.
12
dattokyo Apr 1, 2026 +2
> It is a distraction and market manipulation. For sure. After it became SUPER obvious last week with the oil price and press conference, for sure this is the same bullshit again. By the way, as a European investor, I can say I've also noticed he tends to bring up good news after European markets have closed, and bring bad news after the American markets have closed. Almost feels like there's two parts to this war. One is the war itself, and the other is the market manipulation he gets to do with it. Crazy the US has a President that is so obviously manipulating the markets. When he launched the crypto coin I was shocked lawyers weren't all over that, how was that shit in any way legal?
2
fangelo2 Apr 1, 2026 +10
Everything is in 2 weeks. His healthcare plan being an example. He knows in 2 weeks he will have done and said so many bat shit crazy things that it will just be lost in the deluge
10
No_Manufacturer868 Mar 31, 2026 +9
So the complete opposite of what he says.
9
ls40098 Apr 1, 2026 +8
He uses the 2 week routine because he knows the average US person will have totally forgotten what their government does or says after a day or two.
8
Ezpz_commentz Apr 1, 2026 +6
Are markets in the green on this "news"? Yes. Are US troops and ships including another carrier still staging near Iran, preparing for their ground invasion? Yes. This is the Trump regime making the most profit they can before they sell and start their invasion. Aka market manipulation, as routine by this regime.
6
chickyloo42by10 Mar 31, 2026 +24
So, um… “Mission Accomplished” right?
24
Fit-Amoeba-5010 Mar 31, 2026 +14
WTF, Trump is unbelievable.
14
Crazy-Ad5914 Mar 31, 2026 +53
Wars the USA lost: 1812 Vietnam Afghanistan  Iran
53
RecentTwo544 Mar 31, 2026 +29
Can't be bothered looking at Wikipedia again, but the list is a lot longer than that.
29
mohawk_67 Apr 1, 2026 +7
Does Iraq count? They never found the WMDs.
7
Goldenface007 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Don't forget the Civil War
1
moht81 Apr 1, 2026 +11
Is this all just market manipulation at this point?
11
NZSheeps Apr 1, 2026 +6
No. It's distraction from the Epstein files, too
6
dattokyo Apr 1, 2026 +3
To a large degree, for sure.
3
RonnieBoy6969 Mar 31, 2026 +6
FYI…. He also said we’d have his health care plan in 2-3 weeks…
6
Nard-Barf Apr 1, 2026 +6
F****** hell, here we go with the “2 weeks” shit again
6
Deervember Mar 31, 2026 +13
I'm almost positive if Iran blew up Trump the whole world would cheer. He must be one of the most despicable people in human history at the moment, slightly below Hitler but extremely close. 
13
Critically32 Mar 31, 2026 +5
When at we leaving? I'd never answer a stupid question like that. But it's 2 or 3 weeks, if you insist on knowing.
5
S_A_R_K Mar 31, 2026 +5
After infrastructure week
5
PurpleCoat6656 Mar 31, 2026 +6
Oh yeah, that's why another aircraft carrier is on the way....
6
Setekh79 Apr 1, 2026 +5
So, 14 years then?
5
Robynsxx Apr 1, 2026 +6
So, they be putting troops on the ground within 3-4 weeks. Got it.
6
ctguy54 Mar 31, 2026 +6
Two weeks in real time or in tump time?
6
XenoRyet Mar 31, 2026 +4
I know the press has to report on it because he's the POTUS, but goddamn if it isn't a useless endeavour because nothing he says has any meaning or bearing on reality.
4
FreshCords Apr 1, 2026 +4
The ‘ol “two weeks”. Stop me if we heard that one before…
4
Grow_away_420 Mar 31, 2026 +5
Right after the healthcare plan?
5
Cottager_Northeast Mar 31, 2026 +3
Two weeks is his standard distance to kick a can (any can) down the road.
3
VanCityPhotoNewbie Apr 1, 2026 +3
He said that already and the US is still fighting this war...
3
Rock-Ski-Golf-Repeat Apr 1, 2026 +3
Maybe in the next two weeks, Donald will be able to describe why Israel got him to bomb the c*** out of Iran.
3
TheFoxsWeddingTarot Apr 1, 2026 +3
I wonder what “2 week” trauma is haunting manbaby from his childhood.
3
2kids2adults Apr 1, 2026 +3
The same 2-3 week timeline to share your beautiful new health care plan? That 2-3 weeks?
3
ten_year_rebound Apr 1, 2026 +3
Aren’t we in week two or three of “two or three more weeks”?
3
hazelnutcocoammm Apr 1, 2026 +3
Being Trump, everything is the opposite... So stay it is.
3
PinkEyeofHorus Apr 1, 2026 +3
Infrastructure week has always been 2-3 weeks out.
3
Fritzo2162 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Anytime he says two weeks, it’s code for “no idea.”
3
pinchemono Apr 1, 2026 +3
Come on, Morty. 30 minute adventure. In and out.
3
PerceptionOrganic672 Apr 1, 2026 +3
And leave behind what? Confusion chaos destruction and the same type of government left in Iran as when they started… Not to mention all of us working folks with thinner wallets
3
conundri Apr 1, 2026 +3
The Epstein files will be released, and there'll be a replacement healthcare plan, and we'll all get our tariff refund checks, just wait another 2 weeks!
3
Equivalent-Shine5742 Mar 31, 2026 +4
Crazy, huh? Now what about the Epstein files?
4
Stunning_Mast2001 Mar 31, 2026 +2
Uh oh, might come after infrastructure week
2
pew-pew-bacca Mar 31, 2026 +2
In those 2 or 3 weeks how many more troops will he deploy over there?
2
Oldiebones Mar 31, 2026 +2
I guess that means we’ll be there for the rest of his presidency then :(
2
xParesh Mar 31, 2026 +2
Trump wishes he could leave all the last two weeks of mayhem he caused like ok it’s getting late and I’m so done and ready for bed
2
grimace24 Mar 31, 2026 +2
He said that two-three weeks ago. Yet, here we are.
2
ItsTimeToGoSleep Mar 31, 2026 +2
Just a note that the markets closed at 4pm today for the first quarter. This is not a fluke.
2
Xsiah Mar 31, 2026 +2
Is there some kind of filter that can automatically ignore all need that includes the words "Trump says"? It literally doesn't mean anything, ever.
2
Snoo77586 Mar 31, 2026 +2
announcing to your enemy what you plan on doing is a solid strategy.
2
AccomplishedPea132 Mar 31, 2026 +2
Yeah know it's bullshit. Next he will say America's stayed because the UK needed help they couldn't do it on their own.
2
turb0_encapsulator Mar 31, 2026 +2
when he says two OR THREE you know it's serious. Like many habitual liars, Trump will often say something is two weeks away.
2
chicknfly Apr 1, 2026 +2
haha Ok grandpa
2
subarunoaria Apr 1, 2026 +2
So, is that a put or a call
2
SetonAlandel Apr 1, 2026 +2
Just like his healthcare plan. Two weeks
2
notie547 Apr 1, 2026 +2
been waiting on that for 10 years, lol
2
sylvesterZoilo_ Apr 1, 2026 +2
It’s never too late to stop losing.
2
-WhatsMyNameAgain-- Apr 1, 2026 +2
April Fools!
2
Rescuepets777 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Liar
2
AverageLiberalJoe Apr 1, 2026 +2
Bro, I just need one more market pump, bro. Seriously, bro. Just one more. This is the last time, bro. I swear. Trust me, bro. Trust me.
2
blizzywolf122 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Oh good Trumps infamous Two week notice which has never ever been true for the last 2 dozen times he said it
2
MeatImmediate6549 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Translated from the Trump-ish it means we'll be there for decades and thousands of Americans will die.
2
SeamusMcBalls Apr 1, 2026 +2
2 weeks means never when he says it. We were supposed to have a healthcare plan 2 weeks from April 2016. Covid was supposed to disappear 2 weeks from March 2020.
2
CrimsonHeretic Apr 1, 2026 +2
9 years ago he said he would have a health care plan "in two weeks."
2
likwidkool Apr 1, 2026 +2
When he has no clue he just says two weeks. https://youtu.be/bnfRhkLmaqI?si=_D9RGP4kdgFnd2D8
2
vectaur Apr 1, 2026 +2
Trumps plans are such a chronological oddity…two weeks from everything!
2
Blueridge-Badger Apr 1, 2026 +2
The US isn't "in" Iran.
2
wriestheart Apr 1, 2026 +2
It'll all be over by Christmas guys
2
KeijiVBoi Apr 1, 2026 +2
It'll be a good day when this orange asshat is behind bars or gone
2
flirtmcdudes Apr 1, 2026 +2
Ah yes, the classic negotiation tactic to announce you’re simply leaving. Surely this will allow us to achieve our lofty goals
2
Most-Artichoke6184 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Coincidentally, that is when he will be finally releasing the Republican healthcare plan as well.
2
RandyTheFool Apr 1, 2026 +2
Two weeks? So, he’ll leave Iran at the same time he’s going to present his healthcare plan for Americans AND release his taxes all at the same time?! Busy week
2
SunriseSurprise Apr 1, 2026 +2
Is this a repeat from 4 weeks ago?
2
ningyna Apr 1, 2026 +2
I've heard this one before 
2
1877KlownsForKids Apr 1, 2026 +2
Infrastructure Week?
2
punksmostlydead Apr 1, 2026 +2
Oh, boy, another 20-year war. The contractors are going to need treatment for priapism. Eh, who needs healthcare, anyway?
2
sfearing91 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Can he leave his job already?
2
Firm-Advertising5396 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Can we leave trump there?
2
Ok-Helicopter-641 Apr 1, 2026 +2
His lips are moving.
2
ExtremeKey7209 Apr 1, 2026 +2
So definitely not 2 or 3 weeks. Got it.
2
scrandis Apr 1, 2026 +2
He also said the war was over last week and two weeks before that.
2
pstbltit85 Apr 1, 2026 +2
How many times have we heard "two weeks" from the bullshit king?
2
[deleted] Apr 1, 2026 +2
[deleted]
2
IcyUse33 Apr 1, 2026 +2
It's Infrastructure Week!!
2
doublelist87 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Liar Just another BIG BEAUTIFUL LIE
2
TLCM-4412 Apr 1, 2026 +2
What a f*ck up
2
ignacekarnemelk Apr 1, 2026 +2
They're not in Iran. 392 comments when I write this and none of them mention this 🙄
2
shaunrundmc Apr 1, 2026 +2
He said that 3 weeks ago, so its now another 3 weeks?
2
Equivalent-Resort-63 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Everything he plans is in “two or three weeks”. Wish he would say he’s going to go away permanently in two or three weeks, and do so.
2
Blastosist Apr 1, 2026 +2
Hire a creative fiction writer stat! The brief, this was a “ perfect war “ that only the “ greatest president “ could have done, under 1000 characters and randomly capitalize, that’s all I got . good luck
2
Itwasuntilitwasnt Apr 1, 2026 +2
Or 2-3 years. Who knows. He don’t.
2
Paul-E-L Apr 1, 2026 +2
Ooo just in time for when he shares the details of his health plan!
2
Low_Engineering_3301 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Oh I, and 98% of the world are very excited to hear that he is going to Iran in the first place. I wish him a very impactful experience in his stay.
2
FalseZookeepergame15 Apr 1, 2026 +2
2 weeks where have we heard this before lol
2
MrOnCore Apr 1, 2026 +2
Still waiting on that Best Healthcare Plan Ever that was supposed to be released in TWO WEEKS, but that was over 8 years ago.
2
LevelIndependent9461 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Two weeks . Doge checks 5 grand. Tarrif checks 2 grand. Epstein files. Iranian invasion.. I'm seeing a pattern in the grift.
2
BoxCarTyrone Apr 1, 2026 +2
Dude has dementia, he just spews whatever shit is floating around in his empty skull
2
Technical_Ideal_5439 Mar 31, 2026 +3
So typical, at this stage it would have been better for everyone, including the US if they had never started it in the first place. Then again he will say anything and "at this stage" leaves it open to say things have changed. Though I assume "at this stage" means they have or are about to secure the oil.
3
ClevrNameThtNooneHas Apr 1, 2026 +2
Also known as: "Me and my buddies have all finished buying the dip"
2
Sethmeisterg Apr 1, 2026 +2
Yea that's how you run a war. You tell your enemies the precise timetable that they have to hold out for. What a f****** idiot.
2
Maliluma Apr 1, 2026 +2
So the same day we get the Healthcare plan, see his income taxes, and I forget how many other things?
2
← Back to Board