“A Colombian lawyer for the cartel did not return a call for comment.”
Thats straight from the onion
4829
TheDotCaptinApr 26, 2026
+628
So they were able to leave a message.
628
seancboApr 26, 2026
+183
I wonder what their answering machine message is like
183
heybobsonApr 26, 2026
+186
"Believe or not! George is not home..."
186
Rauk88Apr 26, 2026
+75
"George isn't at home."
75
SirnoobalotsApr 26, 2026
+49
"Dave's not here man."
49
TheMaveCanApr 27, 2026
+5
Please leave a messaaage after the beep
5
inosinateVRApr 26, 2026
+51
“For the last time, we are Car TELL, a radio show about cars, we are not the CARTEL. If you have a question about cars, please leave a message after the beep. If you’re just calling to tell us we’re a rip off of car talk, f*** off”
51
Slamtilt_WindmillsApr 27, 2026
+12
Don't drug like my brother
Don't drug like MY brother!
12
DeusSpaghettiApr 27, 2026
+2
This is MARTOK with CAH TALK.
2
DookieShoezApr 26, 2026
+31
Found it
https://youtu.be/0c-IcuUC1fg
31
BWWFCApr 26, 2026
+7
with relevant extra material (and no tracking ?=si): [https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0](https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0)
7
mansock18Apr 26, 2026
+20
Sinaloa Cartel, we're more like a family. Please leave a message
20
Double_Resort_9223Apr 26, 2026
+15
The machine is still on, Marla
15
fromouterspace1Apr 26, 2026
+5
Holy shit. Nice work, the Latin Jack Ryan
5
iusethisatw0rkApr 26, 2026
+20
Probably one of those goofy makes you think they just can’t hear you recordings. Classic silly cartel
Or the George Tekai one from Community
20
inplayruinApr 26, 2026
+5
"If you are calling because you are experiencing an emergency shortage of cocaine, please hang-up and call your local dealer immediately."
5
fromouterspace1Apr 26, 2026
+17
“Press one for the press office. Press two for 10 kilos or more. Press three for contract killing. Press four for covert travel all over the world. If you need further assistance please stay on the line until we kill your family”
17
StudMuffinNickApr 26, 2026
+94
Gets a voicemail "the cartel fully denies the murder and have no knowledge on the whereabouts of any potential bodies"
"But that wasn't the question"
Click
94
No_Hunt2507Apr 26, 2026
+8
Pretty sure that's their voice mail message
8
Mirria_Apr 27, 2026
+6
Welcome to Cartel Law LLC
If you are an agent of the CIA, DEA or other American Federal institution, press Nine now.
To inquire on the status of loved ones, press One.
To pay the ransom for a loved one, press Two.
To negociate the ceding of your lands for Cartel usage, press Three.
To secure passage rights on Cartel lands, press Four.
To discuss business opportunities, press Five.
To discuss political opportunities, press Six.
To commission services of Cartel enforcers, press Seven.
To claim a bounty issued by the Cartel, press Eight.
To plead for mercy, please hang up and start praying.
6
SpiritualB0x3Apr 26, 2026
+72
Was that Saul Goodman?
72
DookieShoezApr 26, 2026
+127
Nah, it was his columbian brother in law, Itso Kayman.
127
Defiant-Peace-493Apr 26, 2026
+33
... All this time, and I never noticed the joke.
33
thatswhathemoneysforApr 26, 2026
+15
hank points it out and acknowledges it when him and gomez interview saul in BCS, could see how you wouldn't get it if you only watched BB tho
15
lacegemApr 26, 2026
+8
I also think Saul mentions it himself in one of the Chicago scenes, but I can't remember when.
8
Greatest-ComradeApr 27, 2026
+4
He definitely does, he literally goes: “Sa-ul Good-man”
Idk which scene but i definitely remember him saying that explicitly
4
DebalicApr 26, 2026
+2
Holy shit.
2
AcesCharles2Apr 26, 2026
+8
Jeff Winger did get his law degree from Colombia 🤔
8
JaythoApr 26, 2026
+2
Yeah and now he has to get one from America.
2
fromouterspace1Apr 26, 2026
+3
lol I never caught that until Hank said it that one episode. Classic Jimmy
3
DiggThatFunkApr 26, 2026
+18
Well, yeah, he's on a trip with Raoul Duke covering the Mint 400 in Vegas
18
fromouterspace1Apr 26, 2026
+8
I have that book personally autographed:)
8
DiggThatFunkApr 26, 2026
+4
Holy shit, I'm envious! I share a birthday with the man himself, HST... one day i should prob find myself a signed copy of one of his works!
4
fromouterspace1Apr 26, 2026
+10
It says “Dear (my name) good luck in Prague, I’m on your side”.
Never met him, never been to Europe
10
DiggThatFunkApr 26, 2026
+2
Lmao, amazing
2
TrickySnickyApr 27, 2026
+5
The Onion is a redundancy with a government as openly inept, hypocritical, opaque and kleptocratic as this
5
TurtlePaulApr 27, 2026
+5
It sounds like a joke but I am pretty sure it is a journalistic guideline to ask for comment from someone who is being defamed in your article. Imagine they published an article critical of you and they never even let you know about it.
5
d3vilm4n60Apr 26, 2026
+1147
Surprising Trump didnt confiscate it for himself since he loves gold or will he take the proceeds!!
1147
stink3rb3lleApr 26, 2026
+450
>will he take the proceeds!!
He already moved $10b into his personal accounts, he's going to need to do a lot more money laundering for the cartels before he even makes that back.
450
amateur_mistakeApr 26, 2026
+82
Any time trump or one of his cronies has mentioned Fort Knox, I immediately assume they are trying to get the gold out of there somehow.
82
Caleb_ReynoldsApr 26, 2026
+35
Is Fort Knox checked by a third party? How do we know he hasn't already?
35
DillBagnerApr 26, 2026
+19
It's possible it's already been cleared out before even his first term. It hasn't been inspected by anyone since 1974 , and even that was just a visit by some of congress, not an actual audit.
19
panchoh12Apr 26, 2026
+8
Source: trust me bro.
8
IndianapolsApr 26, 2026
+14
Imagine having the ability to find information yourself instead of relying on every single comment to provide a source for basic information
14
DillBagnerApr 26, 2026
+14
Welcome to the internet where you can choose to read about anything you want.
14
alkali112Apr 26, 2026
+14
The thing that gets me about this is: Why would he want $10b? He’s almost dead, his family is already set up for life, he’s causing himself considerably more stress than he already has, and he can’t pay his way out of ruining his image at this point. So, what’s the objective here? Like, whatever you want to do personally, $15m could cover all of it for the next 2-8 years of your life. $10b is just absurd.
Edit: I said $15m. I guess it would be closer to $250m for someone used to being waited on hand-and-foot, but it’s still ridiculous.
14
techieman34Apr 26, 2026
+23
It’s not about the money, it’s about the power. They’re paying him bribe money to bless their activities. Companies and people giving him gold trinkets, made up awards, or straight cash are all bowing down to kiss the ring.
23
alkali112Apr 27, 2026
+8
That’s also strange to me. He’s already the most powerful person on earth, why would he care? I guess I don’t understand narcissistic behaviors, but it’s just wild that someone wouldn’t want a peaceful life at that age. I want a peaceful life now, and I’m in my late 30s.
8
d3k3dApr 27, 2026
+13
"Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king. And the King ain't satisfied 'til he owns everything."
- Bruce Springsteen
13
DaliscaApr 27, 2026
+6
I feel like he's being blackmailed or is deeply in debt to someone and is trying to prevent being dragged out of the WH and into a cell. Maybe crippling the IRS further might enable easier doctoring of records. It's always self-preservation or self-enrichment with him.
6
ForensicPathologyApr 27, 2026
+3
He is a cartel.
3
Obvious-Hunt19Apr 26, 2026
+64
“The whole world is a c*****. It is what it is”
64
darybrainApr 26, 2026
+36
So he's trying to bankrupt it?
36
Traveling_SoloApr 26, 2026
+9
In that case I hope trump does run it! He's the only person in the world to manage to bankrupt casinos (plural) 😂😂😂
9
walls_risingApr 26, 2026
+15
He will bankrupt the world but everyone will suffer immeasurably in the process..
15
JonBirdmainApr 26, 2026
+45
Who says he hasn't
45
CircumcisedSpineApr 26, 2026
+18
don't forget that the Secretary of the Interior went to Venezuela and flew back with ~~$100bn~~ in gold.
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/25/venezuela-gold-burgum-trump-rodriguez-maduro.html
**EDIT** Oops... *M*illion. Not *B*illion. Thank you for the corrections!
Edit 2: Also, still insane.
18
pizzasoupApr 26, 2026
+14
$100 Million, that's a factor of 1000x difference.
14
MuvseevumApr 26, 2026
+10
The difference between $100 million and $100 billion is basically $100 billion.
10
Binge_GamingApr 26, 2026
+2
Hey now, the average person will never see a million let alone a billion in their lifetime. What difference does it really make? /s
2
fatbob42Apr 26, 2026
+17
He loves gold! The smell of it! The taste of it!
17
Captain_MazharApr 26, 2026
+9
Sadly there was no unfortunate smelting accident.
9
Lucius-HalthierApr 26, 2026
+16
A bunch of the gold comes from illegal mines that slowly poisons the workers, he’s happy to just have the suffering
Does he love gold or does he think it's a status symbol that will impress rubes?
2
airfryerfuntimeApr 26, 2026
+1
Well now he knows about it, so I'm sure he's already rubbing his hands together.
1
TigerUSA20Apr 26, 2026
+1
He could have used it for his golden Trump Cell Phones “coming soon”
1
Cultural_Meeting_240Apr 26, 2026
+337
nothing says freedom like laundering cartel gold into liberty coins.
337
kylo-renApr 26, 2026
+21
And the drugs are still winning the war on drugs.
21
Fecal_thoroughfareApr 26, 2026
+683
If I was any country that owned gold in US vaults I'd be gtfo yesterday
683
KeyedFelineApr 26, 2026
+173
When they get rid of their gold they just sell it to the US and buy new gold in their own country
173
Fecal_thoroughfareApr 26, 2026
+124
Yeah I've heard that after reading about France recently that usually when a country sells gold stock it's usually just moved from one vault in Fort Knox etc to the purchasing countries vault at the same location. Makes more sense than shipping hold across the world.
Either way any country that has the confidence that this administration is trustworthy enough to leave a commodity that valuable in their hands and wants to purchase it from me, more power to them.
124
HowObviousApr 26, 2026
+32
France was also swtiching to EU standard gold when they did this, so there was no reason to transport the gold if they had to sell it anyway to make the switch.
32
YerMomsClamChowderApr 26, 2026
+11
what's EU standard gold?
11
EtherealPheonixApr 27, 2026
+9
for bars it's at least 99.5% purity, the stuff they had previously was of various levels of purity having been minted over the centuries when standards were different with much of it being in the 91% range. Modern bars are often around 99.9% gold.
9
Overly_UnderwhelmedApr 26, 2026
+42
it speaks more that one language
42
OverwatchinguApr 26, 2026
+13
It’s measured in metric units instead of football fields.
13
NoFaithlessness951Apr 26, 2026
+6
That's just because they're too poor to measure their gold in football fields
6
OverwatchinguApr 26, 2026
+6
To be fair, it’s only about a half dozen old white guys in the USA that have that much gold. The rest of America is still waiting for it to trickle down to them like a golden shower.
6
ChoyoApr 26, 2026
+2
In their own way, they're getting golden showered alright tho.
2
BlueRibbonPacApr 26, 2026
+55
You're not the only one with concerns
https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/commodities/articles/france-pulls-15b-gold-us-171300099.html
https://www.kitco.com/news/article/2026-01-26/our-gold-no-longer-safe-feds-vaults-german-lawmakers-and-economists-renew
55
pmacnayrApr 26, 2026
+11
> “We have a trustworthy and reliable partner in the Fed in New York for the storage of our gold holdings,” Bundesbank President Joachim Nagel said at a press conference in February, and he repeated amidst the trade tariff fallout in April. “It does not keep me awake at night. I have complete confidence in our colleagues at the American central bank.”
They seem super concerned
11
InformationHorderApr 26, 2026
+38
France just said that was their plan.
38
maxxspeed57Apr 26, 2026
+15
France just did.
15
DividedStateApr 26, 2026
+20
That is why they need the gold. France already sold their gold and rebought it elsewhere to bring it home. Germany wants it back until the end of next year.
The problem is, the gold doesn't exist, it was sold a long time ago to work with it. Now that the Gold is supposed to be returned the US has to rebuy it or admit that the vaults are empty resulting in bankruptcy, which would mean chaos and potentially the loss of credibility, which would mean the loss of the petrodollar and a trillion dollar debt bubble to explode.
20
jigsaw1024Apr 26, 2026
+6
The US has already lost the petrodollar.
6
meatspaceApr 26, 2026
+20
Oil is still primarily traded in us dollars on the day you posted this comment.
20
jigsaw1024Apr 26, 2026
+12
And more trades are happening on a regular basis in other currencies, than in the past.
It will be a slow decline, as trading in dollars is still much easier, but peak petrodollar has past.
There is only a slim chance that they can recoup that before they are no longer the primary currency for trading.
12
meatspaceApr 26, 2026
+3
I am sad that I totally agree with you on all those points.
3
morfraenApr 26, 2026
+4
As if there's any actual gold left in US vaults. They probably looted that all last year.
4
DividedStateApr 26, 2026
+10
Looted, no. They leveraged it 10 to 100 times. It is basically unclear who owns it by now.
10
PurpleSailorApr 27, 2026
+2
A few countries have taken their gold out like France who recently moved 129 tonnes of gold, valued at roughly $15 billion, out of the Federal Reserve. If you bankrupt casinos and cause a few Banks to go out of business because they made bad loans to you it's not going to give people with some brains that warm fuzzy feeling about you.
2
BisquickNinjaApr 26, 2026
+113
Yay... I guess the US is now into money laundering....
113
sly-3Apr 26, 2026
+29
and blowing up "rivals" on the open ocean. It's less of a war crime and more of a business decision.
29
JDGumbyApr 26, 2026
+17
> U.S. Mint ~~Buys~~ *Launders* Drug Cartel Gold and Sells It as ‘American’ (Gift Article)
Fixed that for 'em.
17
TheSilentPrinceApr 26, 2026
+51
So the US is just happily associating with all the baddies now, eh? Bad countries, criminal enterprises; I'm guessing any/all terrorists too at this point. It's *very clear* who is the new "Axis of Evil".
51
poolclapApr 26, 2026
+16
No they're just more brazen and careless and upfront about it these days than before
16
Wonderful-Process792Apr 26, 2026
+198
"Each is stamped with an icon like the bald eagle, signifying the government’s guarantee, required by law, that the gold is 100 percent American."
This is the entire crux of the article, but it evidently is not the case. Here is the law: "(3) The Secretary shall acquire gold for the coins issued under section 5112(i) of this title by purchase of gold mined from natural deposits in the United States, or in a territory or possession of the United States, within one year after the month in which the ore from which it is derived was mined. The Secretary shall pay not more than the average world price for the gold. *In the absence of available supplies of such gold at the average world price, the Secretary may use gold from reserves held by the United States* to mint the coins issued under section 5112(i) of this title. The Secretary shall issue such regulations as may be necessary to carry out this paragraph”.
"gold from reserves held by the United States" just means gold that we have. These reserves are not asserted to be freshly mined gold from the US. They are just gold, from whatever source.
So this law isn't a "guarantee" the gold is 100% sourced in the US, what it is, is a gimme to the mining industry that the government must preferentially buy from them if they are willing to sell at the market price.
This is the NYT, and I am not a lawyer and not a professional fact checker like they have, so I wish they could rebut this.
As it stands, it seems like the main point of the article is the US is trading in gold that is "dirty" because of its origin. But unless you're going to continuously police the gold trade from ore to ingots, it would seemingly be trivial to circumvent any law about where gold can come from. It's an atomic element, it can be melted and mixed to obscure any trace remnants that might identify its source.
198
turkish_goldApr 26, 2026
+44
I think the problem is they identified the source prior to purchasing, or were made aware while transfers were still on going.
44
Romdeau0Apr 26, 2026
+65
Whether it's legal or not maybe the US government shouldn't be in the money laundering business regardless?
65
ChaoticScrewupApr 26, 2026
+6
I don't think the courts would generally look at buying international gold to label it "reserves" before immediately using it to mint coins as aligning with the law, but it doesn't sound like they even try to do that, they just mingle gold from everywhere and call it American, before selling to the mint, which does not sound compliant at all.
6
ethanctApr 26, 2026
+8
My guess was that it's the fact private organizations and banks can't work with those that are listed as "terrorist organizations" but the US Mint is. Am I wrong? I wish NYT explained in detail why it was illegal
8
joshyeetboxApr 26, 2026
+3
Look up OFAC. That’s the Office of Foreign Assets Control. They’re the ones who control sanctioned persons lists and say what financial organizations can do.
3
RhythmsaDancerApr 26, 2026
+22
You're ok with sending us dollars to drug cartels? Because that's the issue. Not... whatever it is you're arguing.
22
DaHolkApr 26, 2026
+13
Whether you, him or I are 'ok' with it, wasn't what they were talking about.
They were pointing out that the claim "that they state something that isn't true" isn't technically speaking true, because in reality there is a legal loophole. IF they don't have enough, they can fill up out of the reserve, and that reserve is not held to the same standard.
It's not "They aren't allowed to buy it, because". They ARE allowed to buy it from the reserve, which isn't held to that standard.
What people THINK of it isn't relevant to the distinction between "this is against the rules" and "this isn't against the rules, the rules just don't actually say what some might have thought they said".
13
fevered_visionsApr 26, 2026
+3
> "Each is stamped with an icon like the bald eagle, signifying the government’s guarantee, required by law, that the gold is 100 percent American."
>
> This is the entire crux of the article, but it evidently is not the case. Here is the law: "(3) The Secretary shall acquire gold for the coins issued under section 5112(i) of this title by purchase of gold mined from natural deposits in the United States, or in a territory or possession of the United States, within one year after the month in which the ore from which it is derived was mined. The Secretary shall pay not more than the average world price for the gold.
Can somebody ELI5 why anybody cares where the gold came from here?
Like yeah, I get that on a personal ethical level people may want it not to be "conflict diamond"-type gold, but why is this a law that Congress passed, as long as we physically hold the gold in Fort Knox?
3
Policeman333Apr 26, 2026
+8
The article answered the question. The law was specifically made to avoid buying gold from Apartheid South Africa and insulate America from human right abuses.
8
Alarmed_Guarantee140Apr 26, 2026
+9
This guy seems to be the only one taking this seriously.
9
WClandApr 27, 2026
+2
What I don’t understand is the demand. Aren’t gold coin mintings entirely optional? The mint isn’t required by law to mint a certain amount of gold coin, afaik, so why the need to take from the reserves?
2
genreprankApr 26, 2026
+3
>unless you're going to continuously police the gold trade from ore to ingots
It can't be prohibitively hard. Canada does this for their gold coins. You can get a coin made from gold from a single mine.
Here's another fun fact. Some of the proceeds for US coins go to paying down the national debt
3
eldomtom2Apr 26, 2026
+3
> As it stands, it seems like the main point of the article is the US is trading in gold that is "dirty" because of its origin. But unless you're going to continuously police the gold trade from ore to ingots, it would seemingly be trivial to circumvent any law about where gold can come from. It's an atomic element, it can be melted and mixed to obscure any trace remnants that might identify its source.
Are you going to seriously claim that policing the commodities trade is pointless?
3
DownwardFacingBearApr 26, 2026
+2
“Gold reserves” does not mean “Any gold the government can buy”
Even if it did, they’re clearly violating the spirit of the law by laundering gold through the reserve system.
2
Echo_oneApr 26, 2026
+11
"The easier it is to sell this gold on the world’s legitimate exchanges, the easier it is to make war, sustain an autocracy, launder money or destroy the environment."
The Trumps Administrations favorite things. I doubt they will be the ones to even consider putting any kind of oversight to where the US gets its gold from.
11
foo_fight3rApr 26, 2026
+9
There's your stupid war on drugs.
Meanwhile Mexico is suffering from the violence of the cartels, product of the US consumption, and also the war on drugs they forced on us back in the 2010s.
9
nvoimaApr 26, 2026
+8
Turns out "tough on crime" was a typo all along. Tough in crime is what republicans meant.
8
elephant35eApr 26, 2026
+14
MAGA: “Kill all drug cartels!”
Also MAGA: buys stuff from drug cartels
14
Not_CleaverApr 26, 2026
+3
This seems to have been ongoing for over 25 years. It seems bizarre to blame it solely on the Trump Administration.
3
elephant35eApr 26, 2026
+2
Well its recent appearance made it seem like it was a recent issue.
2
JonBirdmainApr 26, 2026
+88
Is this really news? What’s the next headline “U.S. Sells Guns To Drug Cartels/Terrorist organization.” ?
88
No_Angle_8106Apr 26, 2026
+44
What’s Ollie North up to these days anyways?
44
JonBirdmainApr 26, 2026
+38
He is on Fox News
38
HootingerApr 26, 2026
+13
Yep. The understood gentleman's agreement was that North take the fall for Reagan and as a thank you, he would be guaranteed work. Roger Ailes hired North in 1996-ish precisely because he fell on sword for St. Ronald.
13
MaplePoutineRyeBeerApr 26, 2026
+2
The American Dad video has aged well after 20 years
2
tenaciousdeevApr 26, 2026
+4
He actually married his former secretary and co-conspirator Fawn Hall
last year. All in all he had a pretty successful post-treason career.
4
SolarAUApr 26, 2026
+35
Sensationalist journalism!!.. oh wait they actually did that
35
Due_Warthog725Apr 26, 2026
+8
lol "sell"
we gave them away operation fast and furious
8
Cs7898860Apr 26, 2026
+5
Most American headline I’ve read today
5
Moosyfate17Apr 26, 2026
+4
...so far
4
uniklyqualifdApr 26, 2026
+7
Then there's the gold moved from Venezuela.
7
therealdavidwileyApr 26, 2026
+7
So the U.S. fences gold for drug cartels.
7
Most_AlpsApr 26, 2026
+5
This was probably how the cartels made change when they bought billions in cocaine with all the Venezuela oil money. The depths these dipshit losers are sinking this country to are literally unfathomable
5
Substantial_Back_865Apr 26, 2026
+4
You’d be surprised how common it is for the US mint and honestly the entire gold industry to buy illegal gold. All of the firms are trading “blood gold” and even in the most egregious cases the guys only get like a month in county. The gold industry doesn’t care at all about ethics and it’s an open secret.
4
sewesoApr 26, 2026
+4
Stealing wealth from other sounds American to me.
4
pentaquineApr 26, 2026
+3
Nothing is more American than selling robbed goods.
3
AGrandNewAdventureApr 26, 2026
+5
Being the Government and buying, then selling, drug money seems like the most American type of thing, honestly.
5
Deep_Half6123Apr 26, 2026
+4
I mean they do it with the oil they stole from Venezuela. Every terrorist state those this, why is this surprising to anyone?
4
realKevinNashApr 26, 2026
+4
DOJ blatantly allowing illegal actions.
4
JavarisJamarJavariApr 26, 2026
+4
Another day, another grift.
4
Antares_BApr 27, 2026
+3
this isn't even that big of a deal. special forces have been dealing drugs with cartels for decades... they even train cartel members in operations and combat technique.
3
HotBrownFunApr 26, 2026
+8
Those Trump coins need gold after all [1].
[1] Federal law prohibits living people being featured in coins
8
Duane_Apr 26, 2026
+15
I don't see where the logic gap is. What's the problem? The United States is responsible for every functioning cartel after 1953.
That gold is as American as all the crack in inner city neighborhoods in the 80's.
15
TrickySnickyApr 26, 2026
+3
So people voted for this?
3
Duane_Apr 26, 2026
+8
No, nobody votes for soft powers or CIA coups. They just happen regardless.
If we got to vote on it - or if it were made knowable to everyone, at least - they probably would have just hung Allen Dulles some time in the 50's instead of couping countries after Iran, 1953.
Kennedy wanted to reign in the CIA after they fucked up the Bay of Pigs incident, so they killed him instead.
8
skivianApr 26, 2026
+3
they voted in Ronald Reagan, and that's the guy that's fucked everything up.
every time you see one of those "this is how bad the USA has gotten" graphs, look for 1980, you'll almost always see the beginning right after
3
silent_thinkerApr 26, 2026
+3
Most of us regular folk can only afford ~~drug cartel~~ silver.
And that spiked in price too.
3
desertrock62Apr 26, 2026
+3
None of that commie gold. Just good ol’ American capitalist gold.
3
teknomedicApr 26, 2026
+3
I'd recommend testing any precious metals bought from the government under this administration
3
Kevin686766Apr 26, 2026
+3
Which is worth more per ounce gold or pure cocaine?
Not cut cocaine pure cocaine.
3
The_Flint_Metal_ManApr 27, 2026
+3
“Drug money is used to rig elections and train brutal corporate sponsored dictators AROUND THE WORLD!”
3
Area51_SpursApr 26, 2026
+2
American cash —> cartels —> cartel gold —> America —> American cash
2
Zapdo0dlzApr 26, 2026
+2
Wait wait i thought we were getting rid of all the bad drug people !!!! /s
2
ivmo71Apr 26, 2026
+2
Not surprised at all. And that gold is probably colombian.
2
DamianSicksApr 26, 2026
+2
No corruption to see here folks…keep moving along.
2
HumidMindApr 26, 2026
+2
Bummer for the suckers who paid the premium price per oz of overminted AGEs or Buffalo with their false marketing claim of fresh 'Murican gold.
As a collector of old Mexican pesos and Libertads, i am chuckling.
2
NoBonus6969Apr 26, 2026
+2
They switched from cocaine to forcing people to mine gold from water sources under threat of execution
2
ToddcraftApr 27, 2026
+2
I'm surprised they actually bought it and didn't steal it like the oil.
2
Shumina-GhostApr 26, 2026
+6
You know, I never examined the possibility that things are so off the rails, so out-of-the-blue, banana pants eat your own shit crazy actual reality could be.
I don’t know what I could do differently if I had.
6
Kevclown417Apr 26, 2026
+2
They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison Oh
Following the rights movements, you clamped down with your iron fists Drugs became conveniently available for all the kids Following the rights movements, you clamped down with your iron fists Drugs became conveniently available for all the kids
I buy my crack, I smack my b**** Right here in Hollywood Nearly two million Americans are incarcerated In the prison system, prison system of the U.S.
They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison For you and me to live in Another prison system Another prison system Another prison system For you and me
Minor drug offenders fill your prisons, you don't even flinch All our taxes paying for your wars against the new non-rich Minor drug offenders fill your prisons, you don't even flinch All our taxes paying for your wars against the new non-rich
I buy my crack, I smack my b**** Right here in Hollywood The percentage of Americans in the prison system Prison system has doubled since 1985
They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison For you and me to live in Another prison system Another prison system Another prison system For you and me For you and I, you and I, you and I, you and I They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison for you and me Oh, baby, you and me
Oh, oh All research and successful drug policy Shows that treatment should be increased Oh And law enforcement decreased While abolishing mandatory minimum sentences Oh All research and successful drug policy Shows that treatment should be increased Oh And law enforcement decreased While abolishing mandatory minimum sentences Utilizing drugs to pay for secret wars around the world Drugs are now your global policy, now you police the globe
I buy my crack, my smack my b**** Right here in Hollywood Drug money is used to rig elections and train brutal Corporate sponsored dictators around the world
They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison They're tryna' build a prison For you and me to live in Another prison system Another prison system Another prison system For you and me For you and I, you and I, you and I, you and me They're tryna build a prison They're tryna build a prison They're tryna build a prison for you and me Oh, baby, you and me
2
bugsyramoneApr 26, 2026
+4
Man, System of a Down is fantastic.
4
Key_Tomato_5216Apr 26, 2026
+3
NGL that is the most American thing I have seen in a while.
3
ozzalotApr 26, 2026
+3
This reminds me of the fact that Coca Cola is still able to flavor their products with coca leaf because our government runs a facility in New Jersey that takes the cocaine out of the leaf. 🤔
Edit: 😳
3
Sorry-Climate-7982Apr 27, 2026
+2
With the current administration am surprised dental gold from graves isn't showing up...
2
PeaceLovessApr 26, 2026
+1
So The Beast In Me on Netflix but in real life
1
Historical-Ant-3036Apr 26, 2026
+1
Wow how very inclusive of them! /s
Edit:/s
1
RevWaldoApr 26, 2026
+1
I'm more *gold is five grand an ounce!? WTF happened? How do I not already know this?*
1
lilbro93Apr 26, 2026
+1
>The Mint has said, in response to internal audits, that its gold counts as American because its suppliers offset any foreign gold with American gold. If the Mint buys a ton of gold, for example, it expects the supplier to buy that much American gold at some point.
U.S. law makes no allowance for this kind of trade-off. And for decades, the Mint has not enforced that provision or even asked its suppliers to comply, the Treasury’s inspector general found.
1
Capital_Historian685Apr 26, 2026
+1
Yeah, probably buys gold mined by ISIS in the DRC, etc., too. Not exactly news, but I guess not a bad reminder.
1
Lost_Garden7368Apr 26, 2026
+1
I wish they still ran stories like this on news shows such as Dateline and 20/20.
1
thaeadranApr 26, 2026
+1
"Gold comes from the core of the earth"
1
fuzzycuffsApr 26, 2026
+1
Well once it buys the gold doesn't it become American gold? /S
1
Uncle_HephaestusApr 26, 2026
+1
been doing it for so long. us foundries only care enough to now break major laws
1
VoidOmaticApr 27, 2026
+1
So that's why he flew in those drug kingpins.
1
DifferentSquirrel551Apr 27, 2026
+1
That's so American they should make 4th of July banners of it to sell at Dollar Tree.
1
WeakTransportation37Apr 27, 2026
+1
“Colombia’s biggest cartel, the Clan del Golfo, traffics in gold alongside cocaine […] Illegal miners deforest and pollute the Amazon, poisoning people there with mercury.”
Can we invest in pressed coins of eco-friendly marching powder instead?
178 Comments