Vance warns Iran not to 'play' the US as he departs for negotiations aimed at ending their war

"Don't play us" is a bold opener from the country that just slapped tariffs on every ally it has.

Sure bro. Don’t forget to pack your extra eyeshadow.

Trump flip flops, changes positions on a whim, says we’ll partner with Iran about SOH tolls and then threatens a catastrophe because Iran is going to charge tolls. There are numerous other 180 degree turns by the Orange Menace yet Iran needs to be warned to not play around? It is a truly sad state of affairs when the IRGC almost deserves sympathy. When the credibility of the IRGC is higher than that of the Trump Admin, the plot has been completely lost.

The irony of the people who started bombing in the middle of negotiations having the gall to talk about negotiating in good faith.

Iran already played you couch f*****.

That puffy b**** couldn't negotiate himself out of an Ashley Furniture Store.

I would just laugh my ass off if Tehran kept the little freeloader Hostage just for old times. That way they'd have at least one CARD to play.

Iran should just gift Vance a brand new couch and they would have a deal.

You know. As a leader myself. I tend to not announce shit to the public or internally except to those who need to know. I thought they wanted to run this country like a business. Business don’t run like this.

These guys act like they are dropping movie quotes, it’s embarrassing.

What a wanker

Am sure Vance sees blood in the water for his chance for president and trying to be a “strong conservative” that republicans drool for against Iran. Only thing is they fucked up. Bad. They killed the Iranian president and made crazy go bat shit insane. The fact Iran even tries to negotiate is there is a chance of some level of normalcy. But all they ended up doing is turning Iran from a threat of locking down the strait. To actually locking it down. And a very expensive US budget can’t stop them, and only make them hurt and angrier and push the Iranian population (not fans of their theocratic government) to support their government.

"Don't play" coming from someone who's boss is petulant toddler.

Dipshit has gotten played his entire life.

What a bunch of idiots.

The negotiators could do something funny right now

Put on extra eyeliner - then they'll be really scared.

don't play us! Dude, if it happens it's your fault,like, you're the one getting played. Even then, i'm sure he meant it as "If you don't accept every single request we make you're bad and trying to play our poor,good nation"

Funny. My impression was the US had already been played. By the US.  Starting that war with no clear idea of how to get out when things don't go as planned and so forth...

I wonder if he threatens the couch before he fucks it?

lol, “don’t ‘play’ us”! They can’t do that! That’s our move!

How tf tho guy isn’t sat at the kids table is beyond me.

Why would Iran need to? They play themselves every day.

Do not play US ? You ask that when you are on top and you aren't mr Vance.

He's the last person I would send to negotiate with Iran.

Will he go full alpha male in the meeting? “We won the war. Open the strait now goddamnit!” (he will not. Playing for the cameras.)

Yes, only the US gets to play. /s

Didn't Trump say he is not allowed to go for security reasons. I mean didn't taco just whipe out the whole royal family of Iran. This seems like we are about to see the game of thrones equivilant of the black dinner.

Can't wait to see what these loons cook up for three hours after the markets close today...

He has to say some sort of Trumpy shite. At least he is more capable and bright than the more extreme sycophant embarrassments like Hegseth and Bondi etc etc etc. Witkoff and Kushner should be nothing more than peons serving water and snacks for actual diplomats. Witkoff and Trump bring shame on America for all eternity for adopting Putin’s most impossible and evil lies as official US policy in Ukraine, at a minimum.

Gosh, JD. I’m sure they’re shaking in their boots.

I this he’s overdue for a nap on the couch

Trump made some stock market money for his close friends. That’s all that matters JD.

mr eye shadow couch f***** thinks he's tough aww aint that cute

Don’t play us … okay buddy, try sending an aircraft carrier through the straits first!

Are they all watching gangster movies?

One detail that seems overlooked is how inconsistent the negotiation framework is. According to Axios, the U.S. and Iran don’t even fully agree on the terms they’re negotiating from especially regarding nuclear conditions and ceasefire scope. That’s a big red flag. If both sides are presenting different versions publicly and privately, it suggests a lack of trust at a fundamental level. Also, Iran tying negotiations to what’s happening in Lebanon complicates everything. This isn’t a contained issue it’s regional. So even if talks happen, how do you build a real agreement when the baseline itself is disputed? [https://www.axios.com/2026/04/08/us-iran-peace-talks-vance-pakistan-saturday](https://www.axios.com/2026/04/08/us-iran-peace-talks-vance-pakistan-saturday)

"Departs"? Chat, manifest several alternate headlines using the past tense of Depart.

"Their war" like Iran started it. That headline is some bullshit

Vance is going to be the sacrificial lamb. When he comes back empty-handed, he'll get all the blame.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

Thanks for the head’s up couch-f*****. Any other pearls of wisdom?

You and you poopy pants baby man boss played yourselves dummy.

They ain't playin', player.

You would think Vance and Trump would know by now that creating this war was a major f*** up.

Vance going to show the world what surrendering really looks like.

I would have more confidence in a crack head off the street to get a good deal done than these people

This is all going to be very productive.

What an absolute loser.

Apparently it's Vance who before boarding has once again said that the ceasefire did not include lebanon. It would be interesting to see what iran's response would be .

Iran is not the playwright of this play.