ListNook

Reasonable-Oil7707 Apr 10, 2026 +188

"Don't play us" is a bold opener from the country that just slapped tariffs on every ally it has.

188

42stingray Apr 10, 2026 +42

"Don't play us" sounds like something an edgy scammer would say to intimidate you into transferring money. "Don't play us, or we take everything u have ok?"

42

SlowCrates Apr 10, 2026 +6

Or some super jaded chick on a dating app who used sex appeal to try to attract a sugar daddy and ended up with *another* one night stand *somehow* and doesn't have the intelligence to figure out how they keep walking themselves into this situation.

6

Silver-Bread4668 Apr 10, 2026 +11

It's a bold thing to say to a country that's winning the funniest slopaganda war the world has ever seen.

11

wswordsmen Apr 10, 2026 +2

You can't play us we already played ourselves.

2

allursnakes Apr 10, 2026 +1

I imagine he said it as his fat child face version of himself. Curly golden locks and lollipop included.

1

grathontolarsdatarod Apr 11, 2026 +1

True. But I don't think they put tariffs on Russia or Iran.

1

_SpaceLord_ Apr 10, 2026 +110

Sure bro. Don’t forget to pack your extra eyeshadow.

110

in_da_tr33z Apr 10, 2026 +23

*eye liner

23

TheDarthSnarf Apr 10, 2026 +9

... and upholstery cleaner.

9

JimShoeVillageIdiot Apr 10, 2026 +19

Trump flip flops, changes positions on a whim, says we’ll partner with Iran about SOH tolls and then threatens a catastrophe because Iran is going to charge tolls. There are numerous other 180 degree turns by the Orange Menace yet Iran needs to be warned to not play around? It is a truly sad state of affairs when the IRGC almost deserves sympathy. When the credibility of the IRGC is higher than that of the Trump Admin, the plot has been completely lost.

19

ByteSizedGenius Apr 10, 2026 +77

The irony of the people who started bombing in the middle of negotiations having the gall to talk about negotiating in good faith.

77

No_Suit_9511 Apr 10, 2026 +10

It’s Putin’s style.

10

AyDylo Apr 10, 2026 +7

Right? Ugh I've never been so disgusted to be an American. These f****** fools representing us makes me sick.

7

Muladhara86 Apr 10, 2026 +2

Has Iran even said “thank you?”

2

marshalist Apr 10, 2026 +3

An admission of the relative strength of the parties involved.

3

WashuOtaku Apr 10, 2026 -1

It is not about good faith, it is getting what you want, whatever it takes.

-1

ShimmiShimmiYah Apr 10, 2026 +37

Iran already played you couch f*****.

37

howismyspelling Apr 10, 2026 +10

I'm pretty sure the US has been playing themselves this whole time

10

itsatumbleweed Apr 11, 2026 +1

It's one of the biggest own goals in history, this war. At the right time for things to peak at the midterms no doubt. Just dumb.

1

Pandoras_Fate Apr 10, 2026 +7

That puffy b**** couldn't negotiate himself out of an Ashley Furniture Store.

7

coldequation Apr 11, 2026 +1

Yeah, something tells me that the Veep isn't very good at p****, either.

1

Enough-Ocelot-1887 Apr 10, 2026 +4

I would just laugh my ass off if Tehran kept the little freeloader Hostage just for old times. That way they'd have at least one CARD to play.

4

PatCero Apr 10, 2026 +6

He would make for a horrible hostage. Trump would just respond with his usual, “Vance who? I don’t know the guy. I never met him.” Hell. Vance’s wife would probably say the same thing.

6

FlyinBrian2001 Apr 10, 2026 +3

"Do you have any better hostages?"

3

bunker931 Apr 10, 2026 +16

Iran should just gift Vance a brand new couch and they would have a deal.

16

therealhairykrishna Apr 10, 2026 +9

Iran have shown they have a top tier troll game. Them presenting him with a diplomatic gift of a couch would be genuinely hilarious.

9

Pumpkins_Are_Fruits Apr 10, 2026 +8

You know. As a leader myself. I tend to not announce shit to the public or internally except to those who need to know. I thought they wanted to run this country like a business. Business don’t run like this.

8

wiseoldfox Apr 10, 2026 +7

This is his big shot at f****** up his entire career. 🤪

7

Hsbnd Apr 10, 2026 +3

These guys act like they are dropping movie quotes, it’s embarrassing.

3

planetarybum Apr 10, 2026 +1

"I have a particular set of skills". Oh wait, does a big mouth count?

1

Fancy_Caramel9087 Apr 10, 2026 +8

What a wanker

8

NetZeroSun Apr 10, 2026 +2

Am sure Vance sees blood in the water for his chance for president and trying to be a “strong conservative” that republicans drool for against Iran. Only thing is they fucked up. Bad. They killed the Iranian president and made crazy go bat shit insane. The fact Iran even tries to negotiate is there is a chance of some level of normalcy. But all they ended up doing is turning Iran from a threat of locking down the strait. To actually locking it down. And a very expensive US budget can’t stop them, and only make them hurt and angrier and push the Iranian population (not fans of their theocratic government) to support their government.

2

Pottopher Apr 10, 2026 +2

"Don't play" coming from someone who's boss is petulant toddler.

2

Sweatytubesock Apr 10, 2026 +2

Dipshit has gotten played his entire life.

2

Elegant-Waltz695 Apr 11, 2026 +2

What a bunch of idiots.

2

ThaOppanHaimar Apr 10, 2026 +5

The negotiators could do something funny right now

5

UbiSububi8 Apr 10, 2026 +7

Perhaps not what you were thinking, but… Iran could *record* them, so when the talks fall apart (as they will), and Vance, Kushner, and Whitkoff (an Trump) invariably lie about what they said, or how they reacted to Iranian proposals… They can drop a truth bomb.

7

ThaOppanHaimar Apr 10, 2026 +3

??? that wouldn't do anything. Might as well release the Epstein files uncensored

3

UbiSububi8 Apr 10, 2026 +3

Can Iran do that?

3

xSaRgED Apr 10, 2026 +3

Honestly, I was thinking that Vance going was a pretty bold move. Obviously there will be a ton of security, but still. America took out *how many* of Iran’s leaders and negotiators in the last month and a half? If Iran manages to close the Strait and assassinate the American VP, it would truly leave the US isolated and floundering on the world stage.

3

HobbesNJ Apr 10, 2026 +4

Americans are solidly against the war. Iran won't do something to change that by assassinating our VP. It gains them nothing, not even revenge.

4

ThaOppanHaimar Apr 10, 2026

I honestly think Trump wants something to happen at the negotiations, so he can drop a nuke on Iran. You can see him (or whoever else calls the shot) trying to use him as a throwaway agent, just look at his unanswered DJT call yesterday?

0

howismyspelling Apr 10, 2026 +3

Vance has always been the anti-war critic within the administration, this use case would solve for several problems the admin has, but none of the solutions work to anyone on earth's benefit other than trump

3

ResortClear730 Apr 10, 2026

I think both of your takes are wrong. I don’t see any situation where the US ever uses a nuke besides in response to one being used. I think others are correct, any attempt on the VP will cause a full scale war. People have been talking about how much of a death trap Iran would be for US soldiers, maybe that’s true. I think the operation that happened to rescue the pilot, where the US set up a base 200 miles into Iran, without the IRGC being able to respond, shows that the counties are not on the same military level.

0

finniruse Apr 10, 2026 +3

Put on extra eyeliner - then they'll be really scared.

3

Deriniel Apr 10, 2026 +4

don't play us! Dude, if it happens it's your fault,like, you're the one getting played. Even then, i'm sure he meant it as "If you don't accept every single request we make you're bad and trying to play our poor,good nation"

4

FresseHexengesicht Apr 10, 2026 +3

Funny. My impression was the US had already been played. By the US. Starting that war with no clear idea of how to get out when things don't go as planned and so forth...

3

xaxen8 Apr 10, 2026 +1

I wonder if he threatens the couch before he fucks it?

1

OilTurbulent1009 Apr 10, 2026 +1

lol, “don’t ‘play’ us”! They can’t do that! That’s our move!

1

caligaris_cabinet Apr 10, 2026 +1

“You weren’t supposed to play us.”

1

Flangepacket Apr 10, 2026 +1

How tf tho guy isn’t sat at the kids table is beyond me.

1

masterofn0n3 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Why would Iran need to? They play themselves every day.

1

Azatis- Apr 10, 2026 +1

Do not play US ? You ask that when you are on top and you aren't mr Vance.

1

gamerprincess1179 Apr 10, 2026 +1

He's the last person I would send to negotiate with Iran.

1

Markis_Shepherd Apr 10, 2026 +1

Will he go full alpha male in the meeting? “We won the war. Open the strait now goddamnit!” (he will not. Playing for the cameras.)

1

LemonPress50 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Yes, only the US gets to play. /s

1

Theverybest92 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Didn't Trump say he is not allowed to go for security reasons. I mean didn't taco just whipe out the whole royal family of Iran. This seems like we are about to see the game of thrones equivilant of the black dinner.

1

dpezpoopsies Apr 10, 2026 +1

Can't wait to see what these loons cook up for three hours after the markets close today...

1

GuitarGeezer Apr 10, 2026 +1

He has to say some sort of Trumpy shite. At least he is more capable and bright than the more extreme sycophant embarrassments like Hegseth and Bondi etc etc etc. Witkoff and Kushner should be nothing more than peons serving water and snacks for actual diplomats. Witkoff and Trump bring shame on America for all eternity for adopting Putin’s most impossible and evil lies as official US policy in Ukraine, at a minimum.

1

New-Equal8039 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Gosh, JD. I’m sure they’re shaking in their boots.

1

leisurechef Apr 10, 2026 +1

I this he’s overdue for a nap on the couch

1

GMEN999 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Trump made some stock market money for his close friends. That’s all that matters JD.

1

jwatson1978 Apr 10, 2026 +1

mr eye shadow couch f***** thinks he's tough aww aint that cute

1

vossmanspal Apr 10, 2026 +1

Don’t play us … okay buddy, try sending an aircraft carrier through the straits first!

1

Objective-Clue5087 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Are they all watching gangster movies?

1

MrCollection8159 Apr 10, 2026 +1

One detail that seems overlooked is how inconsistent the negotiation framework is. According to Axios, the U.S. and Iran don’t even fully agree on the terms they’re negotiating from especially regarding nuclear conditions and ceasefire scope. That’s a big red flag. If both sides are presenting different versions publicly and privately, it suggests a lack of trust at a fundamental level. Also, Iran tying negotiations to what’s happening in Lebanon complicates everything. This isn’t a contained issue it’s regional. So even if talks happen, how do you build a real agreement when the baseline itself is disputed? [https://www.axios.com/2026/04/08/us-iran-peace-talks-vance-pakistan-saturday](https://www.axios.com/2026/04/08/us-iran-peace-talks-vance-pakistan-saturday)

1

rockmasterflex Apr 10, 2026 +1

"Departs"? Chat, manifest several alternate headlines using the past tense of Depart.

1

ClassicHando Apr 11, 2026 +1

"Their war" like Iran started it. That headline is some bullshit

1

Jonestown_Juice Apr 11, 2026 +1

Vance is going to be the sacrificial lamb. When he comes back empty-handed, he'll get all the blame.

1

peepee2tiny Apr 11, 2026 +1

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

1

WileyCoyote7 Apr 11, 2026 +1

Thanks for the head’s up couch-f*****. Any other pearls of wisdom?

1

PurpleCoat6656 Apr 12, 2026 +1

You and you poopy pants baby man boss played yourselves dummy.

1

Wandering_butnotlost Apr 10, 2026 +1

They ain't playin', player.

1

Intrepid-Educator-12 Apr 10, 2026 +1

You would think Vance and Trump would know by now that creating this war was a major f*** up.

1

scarab1001 Apr 10, 2026 +1

Vance going to show the world what surrendering really looks like.

1

in_da_tr33z Apr 10, 2026 +1

I would have more confidence in a crack head off the street to get a good deal done than these people

1

postusa2 Apr 10, 2026 +1

This is all going to be very productive.

1

BingBing- Apr 10, 2026 +1

What an absolute loser.

1

Royal-Hunter3892 Apr 10, 2026

Apparently it's Vance who before boarding has once again said that the ceasefire did not include lebanon. It would be interesting to see what iran's response would be .

0

clamorous_owle Apr 10, 2026 -1

Iran is not the playwright of this play.

-1

Vance warns Iran not to 'play' the US as he departs for negotiations aimed at ending their war

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