What did you teach your child that you later came to regret?

I taught my kid to always question everything and not blindly follow authority. Sounds great in theory… until you’re trying to get them to brush their teeth or go to bed and suddenly you’re being cross-examined like it’s a court case.

I gave him the sex talk and then later on when I told him he was going to be a big brother he said “so you had sex????”

Basically any independent task taught to a 2yo is followed by immediate regret until their impulse control kicks in. Teach then how to fill their own water cup? Amazing. Now they can play in the sink. Teach them how to take off their own pants before going potty? Amazing. Now they pee themselves while trying to get their pants down on their own because THEY can do it.

When my daughter was 4 years old, she was upset that she didn’t get her way and was fake crying. She was wailing, pulling out all the theatrics, but she had no tears. So I laughed and told her she’d have to try harder than that, I said the least she could do is squeeze out some fake tears. She stopped crying and just looked at me like, huh ok. Yall. This child took my advice and taught herself to cry on demand. With tears and all. Shortly after, we went to a plant show. When we were at a booth that sold desert roses, she asked for one. I told her no, we weren’t getting one. So the fake waterworks started. I laughed and told her she was fine, she didn’t need a desert rose. The guy at the booth narrowed his eyes at me like I was the meanest parent ever. Then he knelt down and asked her if she’d like a desert rose. She nodded, with the tears still going. This man took a potted plant from his table and handed it to her and told her it was hers, no charge. He gave her a big smile, and she smiled back. The tears instantly stopped. I got another dirty look from the man before we walked off. I was like are you serious rn. This trick has since worked for her at yard sales, at gem shows, etc.

I taught my daughter that if you say AAAAH and pat your mouth with your hand, it makes a funny noise. She now goes Aah, looks for me to join in and then pats MY mouth. She's 15 months old and already outsmarts me.

Taught them sarcasm… now I live with the consequences

I was in a store and a kid was repeatedly asking his father "Are we going to STEAL it?" (Kid thought he was whispering) and the embarrassed dad had to keep telling him no.

I taught my daughter how to use 'logical reasoning' and 'negotiation' because I wanted her to be a strong, independent woman who wouldn't be a pushover. I regret it every single day. I can no longer just say 'because I said so.'

I never had a child but I worked at a summer camp a couple years ago in my early 20s. One thing that I learned is don’t allow them swearing even if you don’t think it’s a big deal/ do it yourself.

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Before my son started daycare (age 3) I taught him the name of every body part, including a talk about consent to touching, removing clothes etc. (so that he could voice clearly if anyone touched him inappropriately). He spent 3 months asking random people in the supermarket "Do you have a p****?"

Our kid consistently barges into the bathroom and URGENTLY needs to go. Dosent matter if your done or not, get up cause your turn is over. So one time my gal told him to just go in the shower if you gotta go that bad. Now for peeing it’s like the toilet Dosent exist. The shower is used exclusively. We can’t break the habit. Even at other people’s houses we catch him using their tub as well. Last week our swimsuits were in the tub. He baptized them…

I am currently potty-training my son. When I Just started I put a timer on my Phone so that I would remember to bring him to the toilet. Now he only wants to go when he hears the timer.

I was super responsive every time he cried so now at 9 months old he often lets out an annoying wail but with his eyes open and completely dry, staring at me in a way that means “I am mildly displeased but very loud about it”

Always be nice” — they started letting people walk all over them

That rolling eyes at jokes is common place. Now my dad jokes don't land.

I trained my cat to open the bathroom door one day because the way she did it was cute/ funny. Years later, it is not cute or funny.

To speak. Now they won't shut up.

How to flip the bird…

Taught both of mine crazy levels of sarcasm. Now I get roasted all the time.

I’ve learned that it’s not what YOU teach them as a parent but what other people will teach them…. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not so much regret, but wish I had really thought through. I taught my kids that it's perfectly okay to say no and aren't required to do things they don't want to do, nor should they feel obligated in providing any kind of explanation when they say 'No'. I was trying to help instill the kind of boundary setting my parents never taught me, which lead me to being a people pleaser who had to have a really good reason if I wanted to say 'No'. Now they're teenagers and they will just flat out say No when I ask them to help out with chores or something and I'm just like....that's not what that's for. Chores are something you HAVE to do. No body WANTS to do chores.

How to roll proper joints. All three of my adult spawns have taken proper rolling of joints next level.

Telling him the opposite of things ,,,and you find them doing the other way round

To argue properly...

I taught my 7-year-old how to activate the tactical strobe mode on my ultra-high lumen camping flashlight, thinking it was a cool emergency survival skill. Now he uses it as a weapon of mass blinding whenever I tell him it's time to turn off the TV and go to bed. I have to navigate my own living room wearing sunglasses.

My kid's pre-school has a strict rule about "no pushing" which is good in theory, but there's a kid who takes chokeholds on her when they're alone. I told her to push him off and run to a teacher, but she's worried she'll get into trouble for pushing So now I have to have a talk with the pre-school about maybe making an exception for 5-year-old sociopaths

Boundaries lol. Now they are used on me. Hahahahahhahaha

That they must earn everything alone by themselves. which was understood as ''don't ask for help even when you desperately need it''. This led to mistakes that could've been avoided

Picking locks.

Showed them memes, now I’m the one getting roasted daily.

Taught him that asking ‘why?’ is good…

How to play the trumpet

To speak, now they don't shut up, to walk, now they run, to ask why and question, 

My baby, not my child, really. It was to pull out the drawers of the compactum in order to climb up and onto it. I can't remember how old she was, but of course I had to watch her a lot more since showing her this stupid trick!

When my eldest was learning to talk, I taught her to ask for help please instead of getting angry and frustrated. Fast forward to leaving the shopping mall 1 day and she didn't want to go. Screaming help please at the top of her lungs. Go some very concerned looks from people as I'm carrying out this Screaming toddler