What is a 'socially mandatory' thing that we all do, but if you actually stop to think about it for 5 seconds, it’s completely insane?

Finally, a professional who skips the tutorial.

I always say “how are you doing?” to my patients, because I genuinely want to know if they’re having any problems that I can fix. I work in wound care, not therapy, though.

This is one of those things I never understood for a very long time until I started learning about Game Theory and signalling and stuff. (I still don't agree with them, but I mostly understand them) Essentially, arbitrary and inconvenient rules like wearing suits are used to filter for middle-class/respectful/obedient/professional people who do what they're told. They could give you a 50 question survey with things like: -Will you show up to work on time every day? -Will you start throwing things when you get angry? -Will you steal from us? -Will you sexually harass your coworkers? -Will you shit all over the bathroom floor and then not clean it up or tell anyone? etc. And then anyone can just lie on that survey anyway and then do those things. Or they can have an unspoken assumption that everyone must wear suits to interviews, and then anyone who doesn't is either too poor to afford a suit, or too ignorant about middle class norms to know they need to wear a suit, or too disrespectful or slobbish to bother doing it. Which are all moderately correlated with the things they're trying to avoid. People who are willing to suck it up and wear a suit to work every day are likely to also suck it up and come in to work on a Saturday because the boss said so. People who care about being perceived as respectable and professional are more likely to care about finishing their work by the deadline instead of goofing off in their office. None of it is guaranteed, and most of the bosses don't actually understand this reasoning themselves with this level of detail. But someone somewhere along the line thought of it and their businesses did better than average so the meme spread. The rule being arbitrary and pointless IS the point. If the rule was "you have to wear a T-shirt" then all the careless slobs and nonconformists who don't care about rules would accidentally follow it and wouldn't get filtered out the way they're supposed to. This is also why you tend to see less of these rules in more creative places, where they need weird and independent thinkers instead of conformists. The suit is a visual confirmation that you will follow the rules even when you don't want to.

Conversely, I saw Blink 182 back around 1999 or 2000. They told us the same except they said they would leave, we would clap, then they would come back and play 2 more songs. The whole show they kept joking about it saying things like "ok only 5 songs left until we're really done, wink, wink" When they "finished" their set. They left the stage, we were all clapping and then at 100% max volume... The Thong Song starts playing. The 2 lead guys came out in their literal underwear and danced around to that song and it was hilarious. We kept clapping and they came back out for 2 more songs, as promised. I wasn't even much of a fan other than knowing their radio hits (I got to go for free with friends) but it was legitimately one of the best concerts I've ever been to.

>and we did not see him again. ...some say ol' Burl got lost, and that he haunts the hallway between green room and boiler to this day.

I saw early Grimes when she was still cool and she said basically ‘The whole encore thing gives me anxiety so here’s the song I would have done, goodnight.’ Everyone still hung around clapping for another 15min. She kept her word.

And so they can pee

Exactly. 'I’ve always been passionate about administrative efficiency.' No, I’m passionate about having electricity and eating three meals a day.

Once, we had a slew of new hires at this job I've been at for more than a decade, and the higher up asked us all our "Why" and the new hires were like "my kids inspire me" and "solving a tricky problem is so satisfying, but doing so for the team to reach our goals is even more motivating" Now I had been there 10 years, so I kept my answer close to the mission statement, but then added "and every couple weeks I look at my bank statement and it goes up one paycheck" I thought I was being cheeky and cute because who would stay at a job for longer than 10 years unless they have a pretty unimpeachable reason ... but no. The next one-to-one the higher up called me to the carpet for not being a "team player" and undermining morale by reducing my work to a paycheck. Can't we just work to work and go home? Jesus. This from a higher up that comes in at 10, leaves at 3 and takes weeks-long vacations every few months. And, oh, makes six times what I do every paycheck.

fr it’s like the real job starts after you pass the acting audition 😭

About the coldest take imaginable but I think asking "Why do you want to work here?" is maybe the dumbest question you could ask in an interview. Almost 100% of the responses are outright lying unless they're stupidly honest saying "I need money." Even if it's meant to be interpreted as "Why do you want to work here to the exclusion of other companies?" the correct and honest answer is "I'm just applying everywhere and seeing who hires me." a vast majority of the time. But no. You can't use those answers. You have to say something like "I've heard such good things like how well structured your business is, and that the management is so friendly." or something that is just going to be patently false. Like brother you run a business that hires people for money. Unless your job requires a higher education, that is the ONLY reason anyone is applying.

The 'straight shooter' approach: 100% success rate if the boss is actually a human and not a corporate bot. Respect.

I’d rather do 8 hours of actual labor than 30 minutes of 'So, tell me about yourself.' One is work, the other is psychological warfare.

I was referred for a job interview when I was 17. I was already working in a job that I thought could work out OK for me, but went anyway to see what was on offer. Long story short, I didn't fancy it, thanked them and told them that I wasn't interested, 'felt I was better off where I was' etc. and so on, then two weeks later I got a phone call at work to ask why I hadn't turned up at work!? They'd hired me anyway! (I eventually took it...they offered me more money.)

The 'I don't even want this job' energy is the ultimate interview cheat code. It turns desperation into pure, unadulterated confidence.

Honesty buys more loyalty than any ping-pong table or 'free snacks' ever could. I’d run through a brick wall for a boss that self-aware.

I was at a classy violin performance at a university concert hall where everyone was dressed up a couple weeks ago and the girl behind me talked loudly to her friends through the whole performance, started taking video, and even put her feet up on the seat in front of her right next to an old lady's head. After like 20 minutes of this her flash went off on her phone and I reflexively spun around and blurted out "were you raised by wolves?? Cut it out!" Suddenly everyone near me who'd been silently letting this go totally unchecked stared at me like I was the a******. I couldn't believe it.

People who behave poorly call it "cancel culture." As if "cancelled" people aren't being "cancelled" because of their own behaviour, lol.

I agree that he was a stupid jerk, but also I've had a lot of success with just skipping over the preamble and nicely saying "could you just step to the right?" Forget about this "I'm sure you didn't mean to."

I'll never understand why people feel the need to be *so* selfish. Like that wouldn't even have impeded that man in any way, lol.

The entitled shitheads use "rude" for anything they don't like.

I have a “lawn” that’s mostly clovers, violets, dandelions, with some grass growing in between. Sometimes people give me shit about it like “you can probably afford a lawn treatment” and I’m like no, the bees like it, and little bees on little flowers is cute af.

Pave paradise and put up a... lawn. Also, that plastic grass stuff disgusts me. More plastic for the environment and less nature to filter our air. Great.

My inner circle is fine… it’s when work keeps texting and then penalizes you for not answering in your free time 🥴 like it’s my phone that I pay for

My phone is in permanent silence. No vibrations or anything. I’ll look at my phone a lot when I’m at home all good. If I’m doing something fun I may not check for hours.

Same. Just because *you* can reach me doesn’t mean I have to ***be*** reachable.

Recently had to remind my 80 year old mother that I intentionally silence my phone to interact with it more intentionally rather than in a reactionary way, because she went from "people need to put their phones down every once in a while!" to "You didn't answer my text within 5 minutes so I guess you're dead." within a decade.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead

Before the sun! I really don't think God likes us more if we have to set an alarm

That’s what I’m always saying. Lazy sacks of shit don’t even have the discipline to stay up until 5 am.

Yeah, and as an early riser the last thing I want other people to do is to be early risers as well. I wake up at 5 AM and go to the gym where there's at most 5 other people there, then go to work on nearly traffic free roads - absolute bliss. If other people did the same then I'd have to get up even earlier. Different people having different schedules is great actually.

I think high school should be 9.30-4.30 Teenagers need more sleep.

Ah, someone else with delayed sleep phase disorder! In elementary school I fell asleep around midnight, which was doable, but in high school I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am. For a while I'd sleep for a day, then pull an all nighter and go to school, then sleep another day . . . eventually though I just couldn't anymore and had to drop out. Then I started not falling asleep until *8 am*. Now it's more like 4 - 4:30 am to 11ish. Wish I could sleep longer but most days I can't.

I once answered with “I’m doing terrible” and the reaction was priceless 🤣 Like hey boss, you asked!

That’s when I pull an “I’m here” lol

Oh don't worry, it's insane to people living in that one particular country too. So f****** stupid that I have to keep working at a job that is actively destroying my health... In order to afford healthcare.

Your co-worker is just Southern. Bless your heart...

Surely the correct action is to build a case (ideally with CCTV) Then when she comes in, call the police to come and grab her and make her pay for all the food she has been stealing? I dont see why it would or should be treated any differently to any other kind of theft

Adobe is cancer compared to Microsoft. 

LibreOffice for the win.

As a Minnesotan "Whelp...I s'pose..." basically means "I might leave in 30 minutes or 5 hours and none of us know which."

yeah if you can turn that awkwardness into comfort, it's a nice gesture. i always hate the beginning but at the end I realize I'm blessed.

That's weirdly so true! Better to learn at a lil awkward birthday than to learn it put there in the real world that's less forgiving

Well that’s actually the active ingredient of a birthday party - building community immune function via exposure therapy

Cadaver juice.. two words I never thought I’d hear together. Kinda like “human sawdust.” Nice.

Some people value the experience of having friends and families participate in their wedding. Some people prefer shiny rocks. Both groups are paying crazy inflated prices. I personally didn't care for either. Took the money and put it towards down payment for a house.

Yeah for us it was one of the only times in our life where everyone who was important to us was able to be in the same spot, at the same time, solely for the purpose of having a fun time. It's hard to get everyone's schedules to line up and when they do it's never for an all night dance party with dj and good food and cake and snacks. Genuinely, it was the most fun 24 hours I ever had.

That way every appointment costs you double; the loss from taking the day off of work, and the actual cost of the service. Fun! We sure thought that out well.

I did an exchange year there and the first day of school I had no idea what was going on. And nobody thought to explain it to me in advance.

Exactly. American here, grew up doing the pledge. Never thought much of it, it was just something you did during the first period/class at school, no different than singing Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch. You don't really even know what most of the words mean. Hand over heart and power through. Years later, I recall watching a movie with some non American friends that had a bunch of kids pledging their loyalty and being seen as true patriots. It finally clicked for me how creepy it was (and my friends enjoyed my very late realization).

but if you don't sing the magic song, the magic cloth thing can't freedom....

Oh. Yeah. I can see that. Thanks for the perspective shift.

On the spectrum too, and the biggest pet peeve is the How are you/Fine/How are you/Fine dance. It’s so pointless and disingenuous. I didn’t realize until almost middle age that they weren’t actually asking how you were and it’s supposed to be a script.