What is the worst experience that shaped you?

The sudden deaths of my dad and both brothers.

Being attacked as I walked to work by some mad man. Screaming for help while lying on the road and crawling towards a taxi driver while sat across the street in his car and he never even flinched. Humanity died that day for me

I was seriously assaulted by another man in 2022. As a man, there are no spaces for me to talk about my experience of this sort of violence because they're all created for and by women (which is understandable) but my voice isn't welcome anywhere. It also left me disabled with sometimes, crippling PTSD. I don't know who I am anymore.

Domestic violence

Waking up in a hospital bed without any family or friends present.  It was an intense feeling of loneliness but it quickly changed to a strange calm and peace. It was like an awakening of "It's only me. No one is coming, no one cares, and that's ok." It was an experience I was always afraid to have. Since then I've been a lot more at peace and happy. The truth can be devastating and a hard pill to swallow, but when you get the courage to swallow it or are forced to, then the medicine of truth starts working and it's strangely comforting. I didn't want to admit to myself that my family was toxic and that my friends were fake, but finding that out the hard way was an extremely difficult yet baptismal experience. 

My marriage, which has now ended. It taught me what behaviour and treatment I will never tolerate ever again.

Getting broken up with by the love of my life because I was a piece of shit who repeatedly broke their heart and didn’t change after promising a hundred times. Took losing them for me to get sober and go to therapy. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made but deeply ashamed of how much I put them through. They wanted to build a life together but had to step away from me in the end because they couldn’t take another heartbreak. I’ll always hope they’ll see I changed for good and give me the chance to be the man they fell in love with again, but I can only keep going forward for now.

The break up with my baby momma

Death of an abusive bf …was age of 20. I’m 37 now.

Mom lost her sight when I was nine and the eldest of four. My dad told me since he worked I had to take over house stuff, which included three younger brothers, the youngest was 4 months old.

Going through a serious illness when I was 17 yrs old, it forces me to slow down, reevaluate what matters most, and build resilience I never knew I had. it changed how I live energetic single day 💪❤️

I was sacked from my dream job which led me to depression, losing friends, going badly in to debt, gaining weight, poor health and becoming a compulsive liar. I spent a couple of years off the rails before something clicked with me and I began to slowly but surely get my life back together. 10+ years of hard, hard work and I managed to get back into my dream career and rebuild my life.

I argue with too many people on Listnook to reveal my worst experiences. It’ll be used against me.

I mean my father killing himself, but that probably shaped me in a negative direction, not a positive. Recently tho my break up with my exwife has given me some clarity to think about what it is in life I want.

My dad killed himself when I was just a small child. Turns out it led to some issues...

Probably my first year of true independence. No parents constantly on my back just me paying bills on time and saving for rainy days. That experience made me the financially responsible person I am today.

Life in General! - it was most of the time like getting slapped in the face with a chair

Hmmm. Probably either a (luckily temporary) significant disability or (luckily permanent) divorce. Both have taught me to not take things for granted and realize that things can change quickly, either for better or for worse. Control what you can, even if that’s very limited in the moment, and do your best to make good from an unfortunate situation.

The double bind of being physically and emotionally abused by my mom who claimed that she loved me so, so much and that I was the most important thing to her. As a kid who relies on a person like that for survival, that messes you up big time.

Being robbed at gunpoint at work. Expected the day to start out completely normal. Learned the hard way how quickly life can be taken from you.

Having evil family members

My single mother abandoned me when I was 5. She was going to make my grandmother take me but when my dad found out he said he would take me. I came home from school and my dad was there instead of my mom. I had never met my dad before that. I went to his house, he introduced me to my step mom that didn’t know I existed. I was an affair baby. I didn’t see my mom for about 7 years from that point. I still have horrible trust issues and “mommy issues”. Now I have my own child and it’s even harder to accept my mother because I love my daughter so much I would die before abandoning her. How could she do that to me?

Breaking off from my narcissistic parents. Ultimately for my good, but oh so hard.

Relentless bullying all throughout school. Screwed me up, I’ve tried to heal but it’s honestly ruined my life, even decades later.

Toxic job, made me aware of what is good and how not to rely on job for financial security

losing someone because of your own behavior and *that* being the thing that finally makes you change... that's such a specific kind of awful. genuinely rooting for you though, most people never even get to the self awareness part.

Having to travel alone to New York at 16 for an abortion. 

Getting sick and losing everything and becoming homeless for a time. That career was EVERYTHING to me. Gone. Homelessness, no matter how you get there and no matter your level of so-called comfort while in it (I had my SUV and a cargo trailer), will change who you are on a cellular level and it will color every decision and thought you have going forward.

Spending 5 years in a relationship where I made it my entire world. When it ended, I realized I had put everything — career, friendships, personal growth — on hold for it. The breakup wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was looking around and seeing how much time I’d lost. Now I never let any single thing become my whole identity.

the 2 dog head expirement, why 2 dogs are dead.

Just being alive 

Being abused then cheated on

I had the absolute worst shitty boss in my mid-20s and it made me resilient, able to remain calm and focused under pressure, and confident to call out intolerable behaviour or unreasonable demands – at work and outside.

Boyfriend’s suicide 13 years ago. While I would say I’ve come to terms with it, I’m a different person.

Losing my voice to laryngeal cancer. Im a non-smoker btw, and non-drinker. I screamed so loud one day I got a polyp, did nothing about it thinking it would go away and next thing I knew I had stridor. It grew. I didnt take the feeling seriously and this happened. Cancer free 7 years and going strong! It showed me the consequences of my actions. I went from 350 to 230lbs, down from a size 65 to a 38! I play DDR all the time and learned to really appreciate second chances. I may not have my voice but I only learned how to be heard stronger. Life can get better. It doesn't have to always be a certain way. What's it gonna take for that change to happen in a person? To anyone reading this, moving forward was always an option. Doing it is another story.

The death of my father. My mother at the time blamed him for any problem that happened and never took accountability. Made me realise that I had to move out as quickly as possible because after he was gone and my brother moved, I was the person being blamed for everything. By doing the opposite of whatever my mother was doing, I was able to meet my now husband, graduate, move to another country and become a much better cook. Never been happier and fulfilled. All by doing whatever I can to be a better person.

Age 0-20 pretty much consistently.

sexual assault

Alcoholic dad

Being sexually abused until I was 10 years old.

Spending 9 months without electricity (heat /ac) as a kid, while my parents continued to buy drugs and cigarettes. It really showed me how not to be as a parent.

Was homeless for a while. Interesting to discover what you'll eat when you're hungry enough, where you'll sleep when you're exhausted & what you'll sleep through, etc. Waking up in a comfortable bed because I have to use the toilet in my own safe washroom has never lost its novelty since.

I was schizophrenic for 2 years until I was diagnosed and medicated.

the one that broke me, then built me better

Infertility

Getting hit by my ex in front of my daughter then having to be a single mother to my toddler during the worst of Covid. No support system

Getting circumcised. It's genital mutilation and it has destroyed my life.

Poverty & Homelessness

PTSD started 5 years after I was with my friend when she died and suddenly felt guilty. Started acting out, losing all of my friends, losing myself. Only to find out years later it triggered my temporal lobe epilepsy and my nightmares where I screamed weren’t panic attacks at well, it was epilepsy all along, although I did have PTSD for 2 years. Searching for solutions and medications was hard as well. But it made me so strong, like an entire decade of loss, anxiety and lessons shaped me. I think I have above-average life experience now at almost 30yo. Feel powerful now that I made it through and it takes a lot to break me because of all this. Got a small circle of people I love but at least now I’m sure they will keep supporting me as well, no matter what. ❤️‍🔥

My dad took off and left us when I was 8. I had 3 younger sisters and my mother was 8 months pregnant with my 4th sister at the time.

A breakup it made me reflect on myself a lot and I think it’s one of the things that really made me grow up.

My father's death and abusive relationships.

Being screwed out of my inheritance by my mother and then being gaslit that it was for my own benefit

The recession we had to have, my dad lost a property in WA, 2 blocks of land in the blue mountains and a house in Sydney Our business went broke and nothing was the same ever again, hope labor are not leading us into another one now.

Breaking from Addiction During my graduation time, I used to live in a flat with friends. I was so happy that I didn't have any bad habits. I had friends around me who were doing different types of nasha. I used to go walking, eating, and gaming. One day I met with an incident that changed my point of view on females. We were in a community where there were 7 flats, and we were on the ground floor. I used to collect orders (Amazon, Flipkart) of all flatmates, and I would give them later upon their arrival. As usual, one flatmate had ordered something. I picked it up and went to their flat to give it. There was a woman, age 37–40. Every time I used to interact with her father. On that day, he was not there, so I met the woman. This repeated for the next 6 to 7 times. One day, as usual, I went to her house. She was changing her clothes. I went in and saw her half-n*** (bra). I panicked and ran away. There was an awkward eye contact whenever she came down. One day her father invited me for help, and I went again. She was in the hall. I sat in front of her with the same awkwardness. There was a fan change, and I helped. Her father told me to stay in the house in case the fan had any electrical issues. So I waited in the flat. I was so thirsty. I called her "sister" and asked for some water. She came to me and said, "Who is your sister?" I told her that she was. She said nothing and went to her room. I went into the kitchen to drink water. She came to the kitchen and told me not to call her sister. I said okay and told her that "aunty" was okay then. She laughed at me. I said sorry, that I had mistakenly come into the room without her permission. She replied, "It's okay." She sat in front of me and chatted with me for 10 minutes. My pants got dust? She saw it and told me, I had to clean it. I refused, saying no need, but she insisted to clean. I went to the bathroom to clean. In the bathroom, I was unable to get it off. She came into the bathroom and tried to clean it. Suddenly she started hugging me. For the first 1–2 minutes I was scared, afterward I proceeded. I tried to touch her b****—they were big—and tried to suck them. She took me into the bedroom, turned off the light, and removed her clothes. She grabbed my head and pushed me down to lick her p****. I started licking. I was licking everywhere. She used her finger to open the lips and told me to lick her there. I licked there for around 20–30 minutes. After that, I tried to put my p**** in, but I couldn't perform well. Just 2 or 3 strokes and I started cumming. She laughed at me and started wearing clothes. From that day onward, I used to go to her flat with silly reasons and try to make out. I tried to f*** but I was unable to perform. She forced me to eat her p****. I used to lick for hours; my tongue used to bleed. So I started ignoring her. Then I told her I was unable to lick. She started to give me blowjobs. I was addicted. Daily, once she gave me a b******. Without it, I was unable to sleep. I became a slave to her. Initially, p**** eating went to rim job. For b******, I used to lick her p**** for hours. When I went home, she video-called me n***, and I masturbated in the bathroom. On holidays, she came to my room and spent nights with me—sucking her b****, b*** massage, fingering, and licking. That affected me so much. I was so addicted to sex. I shifted from there. Unable to meet her, I started testing others. I lost all female friends due to lust. One day I decided to go to an e***** service. There, I got caught by the police and was sent to counseling. After that, meditation brought me so many changes. The effect is still there, but I am slowly coming out of it

Domestic violence, reproductive coercion, being manipulated by a narcissistic/borderline personality parent, moved around every time I settled in, partner that didn’t help me when he could have… the list could go on and on

Dating a type 1 diabetic methhead. I was 18 and thrown into being a caregiver essentially. All while thinking I was in love with this guy. It was not good and started a long many years of change in myself as a person.

learning the hard way that not everyone has good intentions

My cat getting declawed without my permission or knowledge

Losing someone close

Probably either growing up with undiagnosed autism/adhd, or having a 4 month long cannabis induced psychotic episode in my mid 20s. Both have really severely impacted the trajectory of my life but in different ways.

Surviving addiction. Particularly last April when I detoxed from Suboxone, after taking it for six years. For those that don't know, Suboxone is a med that is supposed to help with opiate addiction. It's a weird drug that is an opiate itself, but it also blocks out other opiates. It helps with acute withdrawal and the lingering issues post detox. The problem with it is it's a trap. Doctors advocate for long term maintenance with drugs that contain buprenorphine (the active ingredient in Suboxone), we're talking decades. They don't say this, but the reason they recommend long term is that getting off of it is nearly impossible. It's pure Hell. The withdrawals are ten times longer and more intense than whatever you were on before. Last April and May I took the leap and detoxed at home. I had been on a fairly high dose for almost 7 years. The acute withdrawal lasted six long weeks. All day everyday I experienced the most excruciating pain, constant panic attack levels of anxiety, the blackest depression, and a dozen other physical symptoms that felt like the worst flu in existence. It was basically torture for six weeks straight. After the acute withdrawal was over, my mind, body and soul were just wrecked. I was very weak and sick all of the time, like bed ridden sick. That lasted another 4 or 5 months, but it felt like decades. I couldn't enjoy anything, could barely eat, either got no sleep at all or way too much. I felt terrible all the time, couldn't stand my prison of a body. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and escape the constant misery. Eventually I started getting a teeny bit better every day and gradually began to hope again. Looking back, this whole nightmare stint in Hell shaped me significantly. Firstly, I'm pretty sure I actually went insane for a while during the six weeks. The constant suffering and agony was too much to bear, but I had to keep going. I think my mind or soul was desperately trying to escape my excruciating mess of a body. It was scary, but now that I'm on the other side of it, I can see it differently. I got back most of the mind I lost, but not all of it. There are plenty of negatives, but a little insanity helps with creativity, some problem solving, anything requiring abstract thinking, and difficult conversations. before all of this I was a chronic people pleaser and avoided conflict of any kind. I always compared myself to others and stressed about all the things I "should" be doing, but couldn't After clawing my way out of Hell, I am different. I have stopped the comparisons and the "shoulds", the people pleasing, avoidance, etc. The detox stripped me down to almost nothing and I didn't have the mental or physical bandwidth to give a f*ck about other people's opinions. Really I still don't care how I am perceived. If you don't like my Iook or personality, I'd like to invite you to kindly f★ck off. I don't censor myself like I used to. Partly because I just don't care, and partly due to the afformentioned insanity thing. I lost a few marbles and now I just say whatever unhinged nonsense comes to mind. I think my improved confidence comes from that horrible ordeal as well. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I have not had an easy life (mostly due to my own terrible decisions lol). I almost didn't make it, but I proved to myself that I can do hard things. I'm a whole lot tougher than I ever knew. I did some research and apparently what I did is somewhat rare. A very low percentage of people who detox from Suboxone after long term use are successful. Getting back on Suboxone or returning to their drug of choice are more common. I'm not trying to say I'm some kind of hero or badass. I'm a chaotic a****** and that hasn't changed, but this trip to the deepest pits of Hell definitely shaped me. It was do or die and I refused to die. I finally learned to use my stubborness for good Also drugs are mostly bad, but Suboxone is a different kind of evil. Beware

My first bully was my mum, abusive and narcissistic. Bullied throughout all my school life. Being in a relationship where my ex financially and emotionally abused me (luckily it was a short relationship and I got away) The loss of my brother 11yrs ago Coming to terms with being diagnosed with BPD Realising I also have adhd and autism (fighting for assessments)

The first time I stumbled upon child 🌽 on video chat of Omegle. I was in shock. Had a massive panick attack of the horrors i witnessed. I was never the same after that. Glad that wretched site is gone.

Having my mother abandon me as a child.

When I was 6 I got scared at the dentist so they put me in a full body straitjacket and jacked my mouth open with a tool to take my tooth out, and my whole life my mom told me it was all my fault and I deserved it because I was being a belligerent brat. I'm 33 now and I still want to kill myself over it everyday.

A really bad trip

Well that's a really hard one because my life has been nothing but 😆 Logically, I would say growing up with drunk, neglective parents likely shaped my brain in all sorts of ways but in my not rational mind, my first relationship messed me up more than anything. I don't think I've ever let myself love someone in a relationship fully since.

getting abducted in 2024. then like 5 days ago getting strangled by my ex. at least im like, super funny.

Losing my daughter . It will be 6 years on 4/20 and I’m a shell of who I use to be still.

i was jorking it and my brothers bith walikjed iun ast the sasme ftimea as i was cuimmiung

Saying goodbye to one of my cats. He got a very quick form of cancer and there was nothing I could do. I miss him every freaking day. He was only 11.5 and we had so many years left. It really put other things into perspective for me.

Death

Growing up in an unstable home where we could go from good times to hiding in my bedroom while adults screamed and broke things made me super sensitive to hidden language and super conflict avoidant

Being molested at age 8. It shaped me in a negative way

I crashed my motorcycle 18 years ago; my leg is a new shape now

Got a harsh way to learn That i can never live with her just due to caste system

The abuse I’ve endured my whole life.

Losing my job during a recession taught me financial resilience. I stopped living paycheck to paycheck and built a solid emergency fund. Now, I advise friends to always save six months of expenses before spending on luxuries. Hard times force you to prioritize what actually matters.