what is your biggest green flag in a relationship?

high emotional intelligence

People who don’t become extremely defensive when an emotional topic comes up, and then become immature

Someone who acknowledges and respects one another’s boundaries with respect

I communicate even when it’s uncomfortable.

Kindness

when he supports my growth, not compete with it

Just being ok with leftovers

Respect and high emotional intelligence

Accountability they can admit when they are wrong without turning it into a fight.

You can be yourself without feeling like you have to perform

Consistency

He was/is so proud of my career and achievements. When I had to work late, he’d just chill by himself and bring me lots of coffee. He also rinsed the sink to clear away toothpaste after brushing, dried the chrome fixtures and scraped the glass after a shower. Loves cats, has a clean and tidy home and picks up after himself. 20 years later, he’s an amazing partner. Changed every diaper (I probably did 3 ever), became a SAHD for 2 years to allow my career to remain unbroken, loads the dishwasher perfectly, does laundry, cooks (real food from scratch, not prepackaged), takes out the trash when it’s full (not when nagged) and somehow manages to also have a high-earning career. And he’s the same weight as when I met him.

Disagreeing without painting the other person black and invalidating them

I start looking like I have more life to me. I'll look at pictures when I'm in a toxic relationship vs. healthy one and oooof those pictures don't lie.

Mutual Loyalty, and high emotional maturity and intelligence

Not having to beg for their attention

The way they treat animals, kids, service workers, etc, can tell you a lot about a person.

Remembers tiny details about me.

Men who loves cats and is kind to all animals and people, who have less power than he does.

Maturity and empathy

Integrity

Someone who stays the same throughout, unlike some people who put a whole damn lot of efforts to get the girl then eventually those efforts completely vanish. A guy who knows what he can offer long term and offers only that from the beginning and keeps offering that throughout is MY GREEN FOREST 💚

Consistency and emotional intelligence

Empathy

They communicate even when the conversation is uncomfortable

They genuinely want to see you win at life and celebrate their wins like their own.

Not getting defensive right away when you bring up something hard. Even if they’re uncomfortable, if they can talk without treating you like the enemy, that relationship hits different.

Not quick to take offence/can laugh at themselves.

Emotional control, how they treat people in frustrating times. Financially conscious

caring and listening

Actions over words.

Punctuality and following through on plans. Arriving places late is generally a sign of disrespect for people's time, along with ghosting, last minute cancelling, etc

The ability to have an argument, talk about and listen to each side, still disagree, and both genuinely be okay with that.

Curious. Flexible. Reflective. Curiosity is key for me because it comes with an openness and desire to learn, explore, be surprised , and even change. In my experience it also comes with a great sense of happiness/contentment because there’s always more to look forward to. Flexibility is almost an extension of curiosity for me. But it definitely also stems from and comes with other qualities, such as the ability to deal with the unexpected, perhaps even seek it out. It also comes comes with the ability and even desire to grow as a person and as a friend/partner/lover. For me, flexibility is also tied to happiness, because there’s always are fewer requirements to be met in order for the person to be content. Reflexivity is central for me because it signals both an awareness and discipline for understanding and thinking about who you are, who you’ve been, and whom you want to become. It signals for me an ability that who we are is a product of where and with whom we are, and that we can affect it.

Respect in bad mood.....

accountability and emotional intelligence 

Someone who can emotionally regulate and who manages their own life effectively

knows how to control emotions

Cares and knows more about you.

Open to having low expectation with each other entirely dependent upon the capability of either partner

Saying good things about other people (in their absence).

Emotional attunement. Respect. Integrity. Intentionality.

Being able to communicate openly, even about uncomfortable stuff. No games, just honesty

mutual trust

Consistency, when their actions match their words without you having to question it.

Open communication

When they can communicate without making it a whole dramatic thing. Like “hey that bothered me” instead of shutting down or playing games. Emotional maturity is actually so attractive it’s unfair

the one who memorizes my whole personality. he knows what i like and what i don't, he understands and gets it even if i don't talk or say anything.

Act of service!

forgiving

My Family Know about it

honesty

Shared values

Laughing a lot with them

They laugh at my stupid jokes. Not everyone gets my sense of humour, in fact most people don't. I'm so lucky to have married someone who does.

A man helping an old lady or giving their seat up

I celebrate their wins like they’re my own

calling me a good boy

Listening skills. Find someone who doesn't always reply with some version of "oh that happened to me too, let me tell you about it." A good listener will stay on topic and let you delve deeper into your story.

I can be really patient 

boy, who have friend (girl), because then he sees girls as more than just romantic interests

Not keeping score.  No "I did it last time, so now it's your turn" bullshit.

Openness and honesty

Good quality communication especially in uncomfortable situation and looking at problems as "this is for us to fight against" not "this is for us to fight each other on"

One who have a deep understanding and long patience

Respect

they do not leave the relationship. they try to make it work

When they remember small things you mentioned once. Like you casually say you like a specific snack and two weeks later it's just sitting on the counter.

Emotional Maturity

She is not at all like the girls I have known before.

Saying no or that they don’t like something and then explaining why in a neutral way (so that when they say yes and that they like something you believe them!)

high emotional intelligence, respects the opposite gender, being empathetic

Commitment and consistency and emotional intelligence and loyalty

Peoplw not rushing you

being able to walk away to calm down when you're really angry and needing that space not being a big deal. goes both ways

Cuddles 🥰 

A nice ass

Recent: Learning how to drive to my home (live with parents) to spend time with them and my dogs. Since the beginning: being best friends with my mum and often both ganging up on me. The beginning: being my best friend before we started dating.

Consistency. Someone who shows up the same way every day builds trust faster than grand gestures ever could

Someone who can laugh at themselves when they mess up instead of getting angry or embarrassed. I dated a guy who spilled coffee all over himself on our second date and just started cracking jokes about it. That ability to stay lighthearted during awkward moments says a lot about their character.

Open communication, no need to mask.

Empathy. Someone who genuinely tries to understand how I feel, instead of just giving advice or solutions

Valuing your partner’s opinion in every decision even when you’re sure about your own.

2 things: - Self-love, appreciation and understanding (Not in an egotistical way) - Good communication skills. Everything can be solved through good communication. Even if there's nothing you can do "YET" communication is your vessel through troubled water.

I was always told to look out for people who have long term friends in their life

Kindness and loyalty

vibe with someone without even saying anything

Supporting each other (even though it might not seem like they need at the time). There’s nothing more romantic than knowing your partner has your back) Also showing interest in each other’s hobbies. I love when my boyfriend is eagerly excited about something.

Kindness, consistency, good upbringing.

Honest and communicate.

Being able to communicate behind small talk. Witty banter and good conversation. Asks questions, exhibits genuine curiosity, and is well-spoken. Someone who sees I’m doing a bit and runs with it.

Respect and good communication. Being able to say what you feel without it turning into something toxic, and knowing the other person actually listens and tries to understand, it just makes the relationship feel safe and real.

Idk, never seen a good relationship

The ability to own mistakes, face discomfort with calm and see how they affect their partner.

Curiosity

Comfortable silence

If your partner is always asking for money.. that's a real red flag..no cap

Respect and empathy

Emotional intelligence. :))

Honesty.

They don't try to fix everything immediately when I'm upset. Sometimes I just need to vent about a bad day at work and my partner has learned to ask "do you want advice or just someone to listen?" That emotional awareness makes such a difference in how supported I feel.

Good intentions

Being able to talk openly about anything even disagreements without drama! That’s huge ❤️

Being able to talk about hard stuff without turning it into a fight. Emotional maturity is the ultimate glow-up in a partner.

When you’re mad or upset at them, they want to understand why and how to fix it. They don’t take it as a personal attack.

He can correct me without being mean about it

Maturity and not allowing themselves to be influenced by friends and social media

Must have empathy 💯

They are the same person whether things are going great or everything is falling apart.. Consistency is way more attractive than grand gestures.

she remembered I have pickles on my burger without me ever telling her twice. been together 4 years now. that's the whole test honestly, do they listen when it doesn't matter

The person doesn't hold a grudge after an argument and doesn't act out of spite

A man that does not fully care about his pride. He can compromise and meet halfway and is so understanding.

she texted me "drive safe" and I almost crashed because nobody ever said that to me before

Being family oriented and emotional intelligence.

Someone who speaks respectfully about their exes or acknowledges their role in a past relationship not working out.

If you have a disagreement with them, they allow themselves time to cool down instead of just snapping.

When they don't get mad at their partner. There are very few reasons to get legitimately angry with your partner. Frustrated, yes, of course. But "I'm mad at you and we're fighting" is just never beneficial to the relationship.

when they remember the small stuff you mentioned once in passing. like you say you like a specific snack and weeks later it just shows up. that's love to me

Laughing together at the most random things - like last night we were ROFL about the shape and size of a lightbulb. We don’t drink don’t smoke no drugs, just make each other laugh, hilarious even after 8 years together.

The other person should listen when im mad and vice versa not every time the partner needs to be confronted.

Curdling or hugging ones ill partner till they feel better.. Biggest Green flag Over.

No drugs

How they react when something good happens to you. If they’re genuinely more excited than you are, that’s a keeper right there

Our hiking speeds are the same

Sense of humor

Animal lover

When he is able to apologise and recognise the wrongdoings

They know you need to do and does it for you before you even realize

When they respect boundaries probably

Mutual respect .

being honest about intentions from the start and remaining respectful and true to their words to the end