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Announcements Mar 26, 2026 at 11:50 PM

What was the most inappropriate thing you said as a child not understanding what it meant?

Posted by evan-the-dude

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Affectionate-Ad-3974 Mar 27, 2026 +2550
Not me but my 8 year old son. There was a public service commercial on the car radio about unprotected sex. My son said “unprotected sex, that’s gotta hurt!” 😂. Like you need your helmet and football gear.
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Inevitable-Zone-9089 Mar 27, 2026 +752
In Swedish sex also means six. I was watching tv and they were asking people what sex meant to them. I was so confused as why sex/six. Why didn't they care what five meant to people.
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Acceptable-Garage-64 Mar 27, 2026 +167
Its the same in Germany 🤭😅🤫
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__wildwing__ Mar 27, 2026 +416
I love kid logic. When my daughter was little I picked her up from school. She pointed at the school bus and stated “that’s the fast bus!” I’m running through thoughts, like “the big bus has the same engine as the small bus, how can it be the fast bus? Does that driver speed? Fast bus compared to what?” A moment later I realized that she must have heard someone call the little busses “slow busses”. Reasonable progression of logic, if one bus is slow, the other must be fast… I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh.
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Tchukachinchina Mar 27, 2026 +3025
I was probably 8 years old and legitimately thought that I made up the word “s***” and started using as a term on endearment for our black lab. One day my mom heard me petting the dog and calling her a “good little s***”. That was an awkward conversation that still makes me cringe 35+ years later.
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pastalavistababy2 Mar 27, 2026 +760
Oh my gosh this reminded me of a sweet but very sheltered girl that I nannied and she was talking about how her room was messy and said “I am such a s***!” I was like 😱 do you know what that means? And she said doesn’t in mean “messy?”
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RangerRudbeckia Mar 27, 2026 +654
That little girl must have been reading some historical texts because that was actually the original usage of the word s*** - a dirty, messy, lazy woman.
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loreshdw Mar 27, 2026 +280
I appreciate the word SLATTERN which also started as dirty/unkempt and came to mean s***
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NotaBat9221 Mar 27, 2026 +64
Today I learned I'm a s***
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skyelord69420 Mar 27, 2026 +113
I assume she meant slob aha
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RoseyDove323 Mar 27, 2026 +341
I can't believe you said this. When I was 4, I "made up" the word "hore" (pronounced like w****) and I started calling our neighbor's son it and even sang a song about it "Christopher the little hore boy". I'm pretty sure his mom was over while they overheard me. My mom had to inform me that it's "a bad word". I still cringe about it now lmao. Why do so many of the good made up words end up meaning naughty things?
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NorthboundGoat Mar 27, 2026 +228
“Christopher the little hore boy” knocked me the f*** out
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SaratogaSquirrelBait Mar 27, 2026 +153
I’ve been on the verge of tears all day so thanks for giving me a moment of laughter
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VenomBasilisk Mar 27, 2026 +156
Hey, are you alright? If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me. I am heading to bed, but I will check in the morning. I offer you my sincerest well wishes in the meantime.
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SaratogaSquirrelBait Mar 27, 2026 +191
No I’m a drug addict who can’t stop doing drugs. But the fact that you took the moment to respond and cared means a lot
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SeagullMom Mar 27, 2026 +166
Don’t give up on yourself. You can have a better, healthier and happier life, you deserve it. I am rooting for you. Tell us a little bit about yourself, aside from being an addict, while it is an important fact to know, it says nothing about who you are and what makes you special. How old are you? Do you have pets? Kids? What are your hopes and dreams for the rest of your life? I really hope that you answer my questions because you deserve to know that you are loved and cared for.
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puddingpoo Mar 27, 2026 +41
This was a really touching comment to read. It made me cry lol. I don't have drug problems but I have a lot of health issues that are stigmatized and have not been really taken seriously by many doctors & society, and many of them pose questions beyond what medical science currently can answer. I'm aware that I live a hard and unfortunate life and that I didn't do anything to deserve what happened to me and the ways I've been treated. But I still struggle to believe I deserve better and still live with this inner fear of not being believed despite all the evidence and logic to support that I truly have shit going on even if medicine doesn't fully understand them yet. That fear makes me incredibly stressed and avoidant when it comes to doing stuff I need to do to advocate for myself--it's like I'm always on guard for someone to say/think "clearly you chose to become sick/disabled at a young age and give up your hopes, dreams, and most of your 20s because you want to lie in bed all day and claim to be sick and tired and in pain". Because it's happened before multiple times and it's psychological torture to hear such words. Even though it shouldn't matter what people think, I have to prostrate myself and beg to be believed to get the things I deserve/need, like medications, applying for disability, getting treatment. It's psychological torture and I live with constant dread, so I waste time scrolling Listnook. Then there's a part of me that tells me that because I'm being avoidant and not doing the right thing/working on stuff like advocating for myself, that I don't deserve better. Idk lol it's very late but your random comment spoke to me. It made me feel a little more like I can do/handle this
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bitterberries Mar 27, 2026 +109
My little sister was maybe 6 yrs old and she wrote me a birthday poem. It went like this "you're a Butt, you're a s***, but you're still my sister, Happy Birthday". She had no idea what s*** meant, just knew it rhymed..
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Annual-Success-5696 Mar 27, 2026 +159
This one made me LOL
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Own-Arachnid7952 Mar 27, 2026 +273
When I was around 7/8, I "invented" a new name. ~*Bitchard*.~ I thought it was so elegant, I named everything that
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Grand_Courage_8682 Mar 27, 2026 +105
I humbly ask your permission to name my next pet “Bitchard”, accent on the ‘-ard’
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Dear-Buddy-2766 Mar 27, 2026 +41
If it makes you feel better I called the dog a s*** once too. Was quickly corrected on that,
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Vanishingf0x Mar 27, 2026 +61
That’s hilarious! One of my brothers in my phone is to this day labeled as ‘W****’ because as a kid I didn’t know what it meant fully just that it wasn’t good to be one. My brother said something and I responded “Well you’re just a w****”. My dad had to fake angry tell me off cause he was half laughing while telling me not to call him that.
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Impressive-Card9868 Mar 27, 2026 +943
At seven or eight I told my dad a joke I’d heard where the punchline was about a b******, because I thought it was the same as a blowout. Like hair.
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wereallalittlegay Mar 27, 2026 +285
I’m impressed with 7 year old you knowing was a blowout was lol
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Impressive-Card9868 Mar 27, 2026 +265
We were just coming out of the ‘80s, peak blowout time lol
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GrappleLacquer Mar 27, 2026 +274
My little sister was pretty sheltered and was trying to tell her middle school crush that his hair looked good. She said “wow looks someone just got a b******” to him right in front of everyone when he walked into math class.
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Paperclip____ Mar 27, 2026 +1346
I said I wanted a h******. I was talking about a manicure.
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thisistheinternets Mar 27, 2026 +251
There is a manicure place in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco called Hand Job
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mothmamma Mar 27, 2026 +108
In the suburbs of Chicago there were two salons called “best head” and “great head” lmaoo
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thedracle Mar 27, 2026 +930
My brother and I were experimenting with different nick-names for our Dad: Pappy, Pop-Schmoodle, etc etc... and eventually landed on one that made him turn bright red in public. At first we thought it just mildly annoyed him, and he would avoid reacting and be very quiet... Which made it even worse because we could tell it bothered him. He had to take us aside to explain to us why we should not say it anymore. The nickname was "Pap Smear."
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chronic-munchies Mar 27, 2026 +178
That legitimately made me laugh out loud, thank you for that
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sexi_squidward Mar 27, 2026 +61
My sister also did this and named him FAP. F - First letter in Father A - Second letter in Dad P - Last letter in Pop It was so innocent until years later I was in a chatroom and someone said 'fap fap fap.' We were essentially calling our dad a jackoff all this time.
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evan-the-dude Mar 26, 2026 +1831
me personally: I thought felatio was the same thing as Alfredo. One time when my mom was cooking alfredo, i walked in the kitchen and loudly said, "MMM IT SMELLS LIKE FELLATIO IN HERE!" in front of my mom and my gran 💀
1831
Genial_Ginger_9999 Mar 27, 2026 +503
My mom told me fellatio was a character in a Shakespeare play lol
503
party_shaman Mar 27, 2026 +181
my mom’s name is felicia. i learned quick. 
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Interesting-Loss34 Mar 27, 2026 +88
I could not help myself and I'd say a flat "bye felicia" every time she left the room, mother or not.
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GiGiLafoo Mar 27, 2026 +139
Oh gosh.......suppressed memory revived. I was at a local drugstore, looking for a new blow dryer because mine had burned out that morning. My mom was somewhere else in the store, and I ran into my sweet uncle, who was like a cross between Andy Griffith and Billy Graham. In conversation, he asked what I was shopping for, and I blurted out, "I'm looking for a blow job." He just stood there, uncomfortably blinking in confusion, wondering if his innocent niece actually said what he thought he'd heard. I was newly a teenager and had just learned that the term existed and had a very vague idea of what it meant.
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Known_Appointment218 Mar 27, 2026 +56
imagine your mom just quietly continued stirring the pasta and never said a word
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pagan_princess455 Mar 27, 2026 +70
LMAOO I THOUGHT IT WAS ICE CREAM, so reading the parents guide on IMDB of Fifty Shades of Grey was interesting, it mentioned “two people are seen doing felatio” and my ass was like “why is ice cream mentioned on the nudity section…it’s just ice cream”
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Tooblunted_ Mar 27, 2026 +84
Omg you though gelato and fellatio were the same thing didn’t you 😭
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smitty2324 Mar 27, 2026 +1464
I was like 12 and I told my stepmom I was on the rag because I thought it just meant you were having a bad day. Edit: I’m a dude.
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LiminalLost Mar 27, 2026 +307
This one gave me a chuckle, I bet stepmom got a hearty belly laugh out of that one!
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smitty2324 Mar 27, 2026 +52
She looked at me like I was an alien and said, “Don’t ever say that again.” and walked away.
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ryebread91 Mar 27, 2026 +119
Ok that edit makes it hilarious.
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MrIdisagree Mar 27, 2026 +38
I heard a comedian say this and I thought i would say it to my Mom, I thought it meant something was gross. Mom told me to eat my tomato, and I said I didn't want too because it looked like it was still ovulating. Mom was not happy, Dad was laughing hard, but he's the one that stopped Mom from killing me that night. She even threw the tomatoes out. The comedian that said it, the crowd was laughing really loud, so I thought it must be funny. I was an 11-12 yr old boy, I had no idea what ovulating meant,
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Bitter-Berry-3501 Mar 27, 2026 +1090
My mother was always critical of the appearance of my uncles girlfriends who wore red lipstick and black eyeliner. She repeatedly called them, “c****.” I thought they looked so beautiful. One night my mother was getting ready for a New Year’s Eve party, she twirled around and asked me and my sister, “ well, how do I look?” I responded, “you look c**** mama, real c****.”
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SnowStar35 Mar 27, 2026 +250
Lol oh dam, what was her reaction to that?
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Bitter-Berry-3501 Mar 27, 2026 +266
She said, “ where did you hear that?”
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wakalabis Mar 27, 2026 +77
And what did you reply?
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Wrong-Fella Mar 27, 2026 +88
The suspense is killing me. He said, *from you mama*.
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ReleaseTheSlab Mar 27, 2026 +63
*I learned it from you*
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LiminalLost Mar 27, 2026 +124
10/10, no notes
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universalrefuse Mar 27, 2026 +83
I’m laughing so hard imagining this. 
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dolphinitely Mar 27, 2026 +42
HA
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DraikTempest Mar 27, 2026 +297
I was in grade school. I was in special Ed classes. We were playing basketball, and I didn't know what racism was. "I don't know anyone from this class, can we have teams based on skin color?" It took another year for me to figure out what was wrong about my statement, and even then I didn't get it.
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cf-myolife Mar 27, 2026 +103
I also said something so racist when I was around 8... A black dude was teasing me, because he was bigger than me. And I didn't know what to do or say to make him stop, at some point I called him a chocolate cake. I have no idea why. He went silent instantly and I was sooo proud of myself! Later that day we were outside and another black guy was playing with his white friend and I thought they were fighting each other and I told the white one "Hey! If you want him to leave you alone just call him a chocolate cake! " I said that SO loudly too... Everybody stopped and looked at me weird, I had no idea why I just blabbered "what ? It works!" They told me I was racist and that being racist was illegal and that I would be put in prison and I started crying because I had no idea what racism was! We went back to class and the teacher made me stand in front of everyone and told me I said something racist and that it was bad and I kept crying and no f****** body explained to me what racism was until I got home and cried to my mom that policemen would come take me lol
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mrsf16 Mar 27, 2026 +73
Teacher should’ve approached that way differently. I’m sorry that happened
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Kingsman22060 Mar 27, 2026 +85
I remember doing a project in high school where everyone draws a name of a historical figure and has to dress up like them and present themselves to the class. The teacher specifically said "do not paint your skin if your subject is a different race from you." I remember vaguely wondering why. I didn't know what the f*** blackface was, not sure why, I grew up in an incredibly diverse city. I just never really knew that was a thing!
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WedgyTheBlob Mar 27, 2026 +54
That is a rule based on experience.
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MontseAmayaG Mar 27, 2026 +649
My mom has always judged people a lot, like in a mean way, when I was around 6 years old she said in front of me that one of the girls that was in my classroom back in elementary school was so fat that she looked like a pregnant child. The next day I went to her and said "My mom says that you look like a pregnant girl 😁" with the biggest smile on my face. She went crying to her mother, of course, my mom ended up being exposed for being so rude lol
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PurpleDreamer28 Mar 27, 2026 +253
Poor girl, but at least your mom probably learned her lesson. Or at least learned to not say rude things around you.
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MontseAmayaG Mar 27, 2026 +176
That's the worst part, she's still that way till today, whenever she says that she isn't that way I always remind her this anecdote, telling her that because she's always been like that she got exposed by her own daughter lmao.
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woolfchick75 Mar 27, 2026 +69
Your mom got what was coming to her.
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CromulentForester163 Mar 27, 2026 +449
For 2nd grade writing assignments, I would churn out reviews for awful movies that I made up. I didn't understand what movie ratings were, and assumed that they were correlated with the quality of the film. So in the heading of the page, I would write RATED XXX. One of these fake movies was called Freaky Freddie. My elderly teacher was very confused and concerned. When she asked about it, I just said, "Oh it's bad. Really bad."
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universalrefuse Mar 27, 2026 +92
Comedy gold.
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TedTyro Mar 27, 2026 +71
Lol no overlap with your story but you reminded me that I used to make very detailed, week-long fictional tv guides in primary school during our writing exercises. Core memory unlocked!
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Maleficent_Scale_296 Mar 27, 2026 +438
I was ten in a completely non religious family. At school one day a friend said she was Protestant. That evening I asked my mother what a prostitute was.
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TheZenPsychopath Mar 27, 2026 +197
"where did you hear that word?" "A girl at school said she was a prostitute!"
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Jeramy_Jones Mar 27, 2026 +110
Her parents are prostitutes too, and they go to a prostitute church and everything!
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xX_coochiemonster_Xx Mar 27, 2026 +35
Immediately what I thought of lmao
35
LeatherGood6148 Mar 26, 2026 +1313
"I went up to a very large woman in Mcdonalds and told her "You must be really full!"
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why_renaissance Mar 27, 2026 +309
When I was around 4 I loudly commented to my mom about how fat the lady in front of us at the grocery store was. I don’t remember this, but my mom said the lady started crying, told her she needed to control her child, and left the store 😬
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thedistantdusk Mar 27, 2026 +114
This is so funny to me because I had an almost identical experience at a grocery store at age 4! In my case, though, the woman just shrugged and said, “She’s right!” My poor mother was still mortified, but it was the best-case outcome.
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old_vegetables Mar 27, 2026 +223
On one hand, you can’t control what your toddler says, you can only tell them not to say things like that after they’ve already said it. On the other hand, I know what it’s like to be fat, and it’d break my heart if a child felt that it was so evident that they just had to point it out.
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why_renaissance Mar 27, 2026 +89
I have twin almost four year olds now, so I understand the horror my mom must have felt, but you’re right, at that age there is no filter. Just hopefully learning experiences. I hope that lady got over my rude 4 year old self and had a better day afterward.
89
tafbee Mar 27, 2026 +552
I pointed to a large man in a restaurant and said at the top of my toddler lungs, “Look at that fat man!” Legend has it that his wife thought it was hilarious. Karma got me, though, as now I’m the fat one.
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Legitimate-Donkey477 Mar 27, 2026 +69
Are you my kid??
69
00bina00 Mar 27, 2026 +395
Sitting in the car with my stepdad waiting for my mom to come out of the house. He said, what is she doing? I said, probably playing with herself. I don’t know where I got that from, but it shocked his ass.
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Magerimoje Mar 27, 2026 +109
I was 6 or 7 and was going to be out of the house visiting grandparents until Christmas Eve. My stepdad had helped me order a present for my mom from the JC Penney catalog, and when it was delivered, I hid it in my closet. I left a note for my stepdad on the fridge. It said "can you please r*** mom's present for me?" I'm 50 now, and it's still a family joke.
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Western-Patient-1512 Mar 27, 2026 +71
I literally cackled at this one. OMG hilarious
71
Truckensteinwastaken Mar 27, 2026 +189
My mom tells me the story of when I was in my high chair and I decided to retell them the story of The three billy goats gruff with my own spin on it. Well I told them the story about the three motherf***ing bullfrogs. My dad calmed down on the swearing after that.
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Alternative_Exit8766 Mar 27, 2026 +73
you can say motherfucking here it’s ok. you’re not in a high chair anymore
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mindgardening Mar 27, 2026 +528
Around age 7, I told my mother I belonged to Satan. She’s an EX-TREME devout christian AND DID NOT BAT A F****** EYE. Almost 40 years later, knowing her bizarre personality, and I’m still baffled by her lack of response. Edited to add: I didn’t read the entire question when posting this response. I absolutely knew what it meant when I said it to her. But I did not understand the depths of her personality like I do decades later.
528
Alexmander1028 Mar 27, 2026 +266
she knew
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xchngboredom4argumnt Mar 27, 2026 +152
Lol. Just looks at her bad ass child like, “I could have told you that!”
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omahaspeedster Mar 27, 2026 +343
I didn’t say it but saw it on TV and thought a swastica was cool looking so i took a black marker and drew a fake tattoo on my arm until my mom saw it and lost her mind.
343
BUCNDrummer Mar 27, 2026 +182
It is kind of cool looking. If it weren't for some a****** turning some lines into a hate symbol, we may have all been drawing swastikas instead of that fancy S.
182
Helpful_Rate_2428 Mar 27, 2026 +55
Aww the fancy S, but facts. This comment just reminded me when I was in middle school one of my teachers had posters of things/moments all around the world and one had a swastika. And I was a doodler, I doodled that damn swastika for a long time before finding out what it was.
55
fubo Mar 27, 2026 +90
When I was little, an older kid from church had a WWII obsession and drew swastikas on things ... including, once, my sneaker. Which led to a very confusing conversation with my parents. See, they didn't tell me how "Nazi" was *spelled,* so I ended up thinking there were bad people out there called "Knotsies" and that was their symbol, that it was supposed to be a knot.
90
Stuvas Mar 26, 2026 +606
I once called my mum's crush a paedo, the party went quiet and he looked absolutely terrified by the allegation. I had no idea what it meant but my sister had taught me the word a couple of days previously.
606
thedistantdusk Mar 27, 2026 +272
Omfg, you unearthed a deep memory. I used to go to an after school program inside of my elementary school, usually staffed by school employees/teachers trying to make extra money. Anyway, a young male teacher was talking to me about his video game collection or something, so I just laughed and said, “Oh, you’re such a pedophile!” The resounding silence after this confirmed to me the word did not, in fact, mean someone who likes to play with childish toys 😭😭😭
272
NorthboundGoat Mar 27, 2026 +88
Holy shit I would be mortified. I’m so sorry
88
NighthawkUnicorn Mar 27, 2026 +203
I called someone a nonce once because I thought it meant idiot.
203
Fun-Environment5780 Mar 27, 2026 +211
..it doesn’t..?
211
Fun-Environment5780 Mar 27, 2026 +195
Oh god
195
IPA-Lagomorph Mar 27, 2026 +86
r/WatchPeopleDieInside
86
HardCore_BonScottFan Mar 27, 2026 +45
Noooo 😭 Adults should at least ask children what they think the words they say mean if it’s really bad like this. Reminds me of the story where someone drew a butterfly but it apparently looked like a hairy butthole. They got in trouble for it bc no one asked what their drawing was, just assumed.
45
many_bells_down Mar 27, 2026 +156
First grade. We’re learning the “sh” sound. Teacher asks us to come up with words that start with “sh.” I proudly exclaim, “Shit!” Teacher tells me that’s not a nice word, even if it does start with the right sound. Confused, I say, “But my mom calls my little sister that.”
156
LadyCordeliaStuart Mar 26, 2026 +675
At least mine made sense in context, but when watching Silence of the Lambs with my mom when I was twelve, I immediately asked, "Mom, what's 'c***'?" Based on the context, I thought it was a type of perfume
675
tafbee Mar 27, 2026 +362
C*** by Calvin Klein
362
doodoomatomato Mar 27, 2026 +91
I was thinking it’s a Gwyneth Paltrow Goop fragrance.
91
Aromatic-Ad9172 Mar 27, 2026 +399
You were probably a tad young for that movie
399
imcurioustellme Mar 27, 2026 +109
Definitely
109
kmk4ue84 Mar 27, 2026 +96
Nah....builds character, what type of character is another story altogether.
96
backupbitches Mar 27, 2026 +135
"It's something you serve, son, but only if you werk really hard"
135
Guns_57 Mar 27, 2026 +21
What did 12 year old you think it was that Multiple Miggs flung on Agent Starling?
21
Beautiful_Cod_6246 Mar 27, 2026 +143
So when I was really little my dad used to try to sweet talk my mom by saying “come sit on my lap little girl” and she’d reply “hell no pervert”. Well my mom took me to see Santa at the mall and it was my first time. He told me to come sit on his lap and in response I called Santa a pervert and refused to even get near him. My mom never let me live that one down.
143
Even_Consideration92 Mar 27, 2026 +525
You smell like blood. I said that to everyone with their period because I have a really good sense of smell. This happened when I was waist high to adults.
525
1965wasalongtimeago Mar 27, 2026 +176
Vampire kids
176
Alpharoll Mar 27, 2026 +37
This is hilarious 😂
37
ermaecrhaelld Mar 27, 2026 +70
This was my nightmare working with the little littles. Oh god.
70
EconomicsAfraid7880 Mar 27, 2026 +140
I remember playing Scrabble and saying "I swear quim is a word. I dunno where I've heard it or what it means."
140
SucculentChineseMilk Mar 27, 2026 +170
“Quim" is primarily a dated British slang term for the vulva or v***** Edit: For those that didn’t know
170
Innsmouth_Swimteam Mar 27, 2026 +33
There's a scene in the first Avengers movie where Loki calls Natasha/Black Widow a "mewling quim," and my jaw dropped. Im guessing 99% of the audience had zero idea.
33
sumires Mar 27, 2026 +32
I play online Scrabble a LOT, and about once a week, I'm frustrated at the fact that "quim" is not recognized as a playable word by the Scrabble computer.
32
sourfan Mar 27, 2026 +133
I put on my mom's boots and proudly exclaimed, "look, I'm a hooker!"
133
queen_mantis Mar 27, 2026 +119
I saw a guy with an eye patch and said Aargge ye mateee! Thinking he was an actual pirate.
119
theredrebel777 Mar 27, 2026 +61
That's actually relatively tame, if I had an eye patch I would have loved it
61
OneGayPigeon Mar 27, 2026 +49
Oh noooo 😭 I excitedly said “ooo look, ninjas!” to a group of women in burqas 😭 I know it’s impossible to refuse to let children out in public before they learn more about disability, different cultures, etc, but god damn would it save everyone involved a lot of sanity.
49
thelabiamajora Mar 27, 2026 +442
Screamed that I jizzed in my pants on a rollercoaster with my family bc I was trying to be funny & thought it meant I peed myself 😔
442
LiminalLost Mar 27, 2026 +83
💀
83
Starbucks__Lovers Mar 27, 2026 +231
I wrote “save a tree, eat a beaver” on an essay in 4th grade 
231
Elegant-Espeon Mar 27, 2026 +53
Nah that's hilarious
53
saneiac1 Mar 27, 2026 +233
Not me, but my younger brother, at age 5, announced that he wanted to be a stripper when he grows up because “I can go up on stage and let people suck on my d***.” He didn’t know what it meant, and no one in my house talked like that, so I don’t know where he heard it.
233
After-Tax-453 Mar 27, 2026 +26
oh jesus 😭
26
SpirituallySane Mar 27, 2026 +103
When I was out to eat at chilis with my mom and step dad, I was maybe 7 or 8 and they were complaining about how long the service was taking so I decided to add my two cents as well to join the conversation. I said “they’re all just a bunch of pussies back there!” (Thinking of the word wussies but mistook what it meant and thinking I had made a new word entirely) And my mom got instantly embarrassed and said “don’t say that word!” And I loudly replied “what?! Pussies?!” And she said “please stop saying that!” While my step dad is laughing his ass off and trying to hide it. And again I said “what word?! PUSSIES?!” And then she bopped me on the mouth and I got embarrassed and shut up the rest of the time. I never did learn what pussies meant that day… lol.
103
Temporary-Boot-2247 Mar 26, 2026 +189
I remember calling my dad’s coworker’s son “disco hair boy” but he just turned out to be a young Jewish boy with long curly hair
189
Several-Music9151 Mar 27, 2026 +46
Not technically wrong 
46
DwightCharlieQuint Mar 27, 2026 +95
I walked up to my dad sitting in the car and leaned against the window and said, “Hey, want a date?” Bc I saw it in a movie 😭
95
ShortbowVillian Mar 26, 2026 +337
I got a raccoon stuffed animal. I proudly said “His name is C***!” My Dad hushed me and told me to pick a different name. Edit: C*** was a racial slur for black folks when I was younger. I grew up in Cali.
337
dolphinitely Mar 27, 2026 +112
OMG you just reminded me my sister had a monster stuffed animal with a horn and she named it Horny 🤣
112
Stavvystav Mar 27, 2026 +93
I learned in a poor way not to call a spooky creature in a horror game a 'spook' for similar reasons. It was at a city arcade and thankfully one of my friends informed me quietly but I still felt awful.
93
ermaecrhaelld Mar 27, 2026 +61
My parents let me have a black cat named Blackie growing up. She got out frequently and you know my kid ass was out in the streets shouting her name. I can’t believe they thought it was an acceptable name.
61
vintagecottage Mar 27, 2026 +86
I was so young, I spoke to a stranger and told him that I was so sad I was a virgin. I thought 'being a virgin' meant that 'nobody wants to hold your hand'. As a child, I took it as, 'nobody wants to hold hands with me and be my friend'. That man was so concerned he had to ask me more than twice and explained to me what it really meant. 😭😭😭😭😭
86
IHaveAChair9000 Mar 27, 2026 +78
Asked my grandpa what his heritage was. He said german. when asked about grandma he laughed and said "shes a jew." to which i did a report in school and presented this in front of the class saying "My grandpa was a Nazi and grandma was a jew" Not really realizing what i was doing/saying. Hah. Zero jewish heritage btw
78
WedgyTheBlob Mar 27, 2026 +26
Why'd he say that then?
26
Turbulent_Ad_880 Mar 27, 2026 +79
I've shared this before... Aged around eight, I learned a new word...with the sort of grasp that a dog has on a bicycle; it knows what it looks and sounds like, but really has no idea how to use it properly. The word was "appropriate". Some kids would want to show off their football skills. Not me; I was the original full on, nerdy bookworm...I simply could not wait to use my new word. Enter Steve, Mum's first new boyfriend after she divorced my Dad six years previously. Steve seems perfectly nice, but was a little treading on eggshells as it was the first time he'd met me. I think Mum had seen him a few times at work, but this was their first proper date. Steve took a seat and Mum said "How do you take your coffee, Steve?" "Black" he replied. This is it. This is my moment to impress Mum's new boyfriend with my ever expanding vocabulary...here goes... "That's appropriate." I said. To my Mum's Anglo West Indian boyfriend. I'm 59 now. It still burns. I also think it may have been the most inappropriate use of the word "appropriate" ever recorded.
79
maplesurge67 Mar 26, 2026 +212
Personally for me it was when I called our ice cream man ugly to his face when I was little. It wasn't like in a "you're ugly" way, but more of like "what are you doing here, ugly?". I didn't remember that happening at ALL but apparently I did say it and the guy didn't return by our block again, so....
212
hippiechick725 Mar 27, 2026 +188
You monster…you dissed the ice cream man? Cardinal sin! You would have gotten your ass kicked in my hood 😂
188
alt_isopod Mar 27, 2026 +58
My little sister walked up to my heavyset friend one day and stared at her for a bit then said "you're obeast"
58
BullfrogPersonal Mar 27, 2026 +144
I was in the back seat with my parents driving. Probably about 8 years old. My sister was sitting next to me. We were driving though Atlantic city on vacation but my parent were kind of lost. The couldn't find the place we wanted to go. After a while I yelled out really loud "WHERE IN THE HELL ARE WE GOING? ". They didn't take too kindly to my question! I think that I had heard it in a movie or something. I didn't really know if adults talked like that or what it meant exactly . But it seemed appropriate somehow.
144
BigOldBabyTree Mar 27, 2026 +73
Oh god this haunts me. As a kid, I was at the family computer with my younger sister. We were reading some facts list or whatever. Our dad was working nearby. I read something that said "pigs have 30 minute orgasms." I thought that orgasms were another word for labor. For giving birth. I thought it meant that pigs only took 30 minutes to give birth. I said they were lucky. I remember my dad looking super uncomfortable and not really understanding why. He has a listnook account. So, if you see this, Dad. SORRY, I'M JUST SO STUPID.
73
Broad_Objective_7732 Mar 27, 2026 +63
Being like 8 at the beach and saying “Oh look a balloon! “. and picking it up off the sand and trying to blow it up. It was a used condom that had washed up!
63
seashell_eyes_ Mar 27, 2026 +187
My mom got very upset with me in the grocery store for pulling my shirt over my head and saying "I am the great Cornholio!"
187
kmj420 Mar 27, 2026 +86
Did you tell her you needed tp for your bunghole?
86
BookkeeperFew2671 Mar 27, 2026 +37
Are you from Lake titicaca nigiragua?
37
FwampFwamp88 Mar 27, 2026 +67
My parents purchased a condominium when I was like 8. And I kept hearing them refer to it as condo or condominium. My friend’s mom who had met them a few times was picking up her son after school and said to me “hey how are your parents doing?” I told them, “great they bought a condom in Houston”. She just looked at me with a very confused, weirded out face. lol.
67
Intrepid_Fact_7154 Mar 26, 2026 +158
When I asked what M*** meant at dinner, no one said anything.
158
DickieJohnson Mar 27, 2026 +193
Meal I'd like to finish.
193
gcg2016 Mar 27, 2026 +49
Man, I love fish!
49
MizWhatsit Mar 27, 2026 +199
I got kind of strong armed into babysitting once when a female relative just left me with her kids without speaking to me about it. So there I was, stuck with four overindulged kids. They decided that it would be a fun game to start telling me all the ways they were going to end themselves: “I bet if I ran across the street, I’d get killed, huh?” “I’m gonna drink this Windex, I’m gonna drink this Windex!” “I know where my mommy keeps her pills, and I’m gonna take all of them!” “Shut up, I’m gonna run across the street!” “I’m gonna drive your car to 7-11!” After a whole lot of threats of this kind, they noticed I wasn’t paying much attention. “Mommy gets all mad when I say that,” one of them instructed me. “Well, your mother cares if you survive to adulthood,” I snapped back. Yep, I can get unpleasant when forced to babysit, and before I get coffee.
199
SnowStar35 Mar 27, 2026 +51
Lol did they stop playing that game?
51
MizWhatsit Mar 27, 2026 +74
Did they ever. I don’t think any of them spoke to me or made eye contact with me all day.
74
pm-me-racecars Mar 27, 2026 +34
They were just butthurt because you won.
34
mmaster23 Mar 27, 2026 +107
“wow, those people really don’t know how to fly” downstairs, alone with no adults in the room… watching 9/11 live on tv as the 2nd tower was hit…. I’m still horrified to this day and I’m so sorry.
107
Thoracic_Snark Mar 27, 2026 +149
I mortified my mom in our small town grocery store by yelling "MOM! MOM! LOOK!! MOM LOOK AT THAT BIG FAT LADY OVER THERE!!! MOM... LOOK!!!" Mom snatched me out of the cart and apologized to the woman, and we hopped into the and went home. She had a long talk with me about how you don't yell about someone's appearance when they're big. Or you wait and we can talk about it later. The next week we were in the store and a man with dwarfism walked around the corner. "MOM! MOM! LOO..." and she clamped her hand over my mouth so hard and whipped the cart around the corner, telling me that she saw and not to make another peep about it. Later at home, we had a chat about small people, too.
149
eldee17 Mar 27, 2026 +105
When I 42f was in kindergarten, so around 5/6, I wrote a letter to this little boy who was in my class and also lived on my street, and I put it in his mailbox. The letter said: "I undress you with my eyes". I must have heard it on tv or something because I had no idea what I was saying, I must have connected it to romance or whatever lol I can't believe I did that!!
105
EntertainerNo4509 Mar 27, 2026 +50
In 6th grade I got in trouble for blurting out ‘what’s an o***?!’ In class.
50
Imaneight Mar 27, 2026 +45
I called my dad a d**** when I was 10. Heard it used on the playground and thought it just meant a dumb guy. My step mom got the medical dictionary out and handed it to me and said "read what that says." I read it and relied, "Oh so it's like a vibrator." How 10 year old me knew what one was and not the other is concerning to me 45 years later. I stood in the corner with my nose on the tape that day, directly after my new vocabulary lesson.
45
lolnobutwhy Mar 27, 2026 +91
As a kid I found the definition of "b******" in the dictionary and went up to my cousin and proudly stated "your daughter is a b******!" with a big proud smile on my face because I used a big word correctly.
91
akopley Mar 27, 2026 +45
I was an avid fisherman as a child (still as an adult). My dad let me go around the piers and beaches telling everyone I was the master baiter.
45
athird78 Mar 27, 2026 +42
5 year old me, was downtown with my mom, when we encountered a little person. Said loudly to my mom " What will they think of next?"
42
youmustb3jokn Mar 27, 2026 +144
Son said he liked “horror (pronounced wh0r3) movies” in kindergarten at his new catholic school. That was a fun principal/teacher call.
144
party_shaman Mar 27, 2026 +76
my old classmate moved to florida from new england when he was eight there were countless instances of people going wide-eyed when he’d talk about his family’s pawn shop with his little accent 
76
abenz39 Mar 27, 2026 +38
I said “ do you even know what a BAGINA IS!?!?!”
38
Stilded1963 Mar 27, 2026 +37
My homework assignment in first grade was to tell a riddle. I went to my older brother and he taught me one. The next day, when it was my turn, I proudly asked my riddle: “What’s green and jumps from bed to bed? A prostitoad”. The teacher turned bright red and nearly choked.
37
Otherwise-Toe665 Mar 27, 2026 +104
Calling the backstreet boys the 'backdoor boys'. I thought it meant they were so bad they had to play at the backdoor.
104
TieRepresentative311 Mar 26, 2026 +71
I called my catholic school teacher a pervert
71
RealSkeeJay Mar 27, 2026 +125
I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. It was right around the time of Columbine, but I didn't know anything about that at the time, which is why I saw nothing wrong with what I'm about to say. My friend comes up with this song, I don't know if he made it up or if he heard it from somewhere, but either way there was a group of 4 or 5 of us that learned it and all sang it together on the bus...loudly. To the tune of "My Eyes Have Seen the Glory of the Coming of the Lord", I present to you a song that got us in a ton of trouble: *My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school* *We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule* *We plan to hang the principal tomorrow afternoon* *The janitor is on our side*
125
sumires Mar 27, 2026 +71
Variations on that have been around for generations. I've never actually heard it in the wild, just read it in a book, where it was something like: *Mine eyes have seen the glory of the ruin of the school* *We have tortured all the teachers, we are breaking every rule,* *We broke into his office and we tickled the princi-pool* *And truth is marching on* *Glory, glory hallelujah* *Teacher whacked me with a ruler* *I bopped her on the bean with a rotten tangerine* *And truth goes marching on*
71
fubo Mar 27, 2026 +25
> I bopped her on the bean with a rotten tangerine That is *so* much less violent than any version I ever heard in school.
25
hippiechick725 Mar 27, 2026 +27
We sang that too in elementary school.
27
SpacemanPete Mar 27, 2026 +94
I wasn’t even THAT young because I immediately knew what I said and felt shame. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was probably 9-10 years old and playing army men with the neighbor. I had green army men and black army men. They were just all green or all black plastic. I was the green army. My neighbor was black army. He charged my base and I flicked one of his men away while screaming “get out of here ya smelly ol’ black!” I turned around and there was an African American man, coming out of one of the next door houses. He heard. I was too young to have the courage to go and explain myself. To this day, he thinks I was yelling at him. 😒
94
GTA66669699 Mar 27, 2026 +31
What’s “R*** MEAN” shouting out loud throwing a tantrum in front of my entire family. They’re watching a movie 🎥 and the cops mention that word. I was like I need to know for the PLOT! When I did learn the word. Would’ve never thought in a million years humans would do that to each other.
31
GoTeamScotch Mar 27, 2026 +34
I liked to make little skits at home as a kid using the family camcorder. One time I interviewed myself as a character and when I was done I was showing my mom and older brother. I was rewinding it to find the beginning, hit play and said "now here's the money shot". My brother said "good lord what are you letting him do with this camera?!". I realized it yeeears later.
34
Dynamo_Ham Mar 27, 2026 +31
As a teenager I was in a car with my parents and grandparents going out for lunch on a Saturday. My grandma asked what I had planned for Saturday night, and I told her I was going to a “g*******.” I thought it meant party.
31
beccadahhhling Mar 27, 2026 +31
I heard the word d*** a lot on tv growing up. Never knew what it meant. Just decided to start saying it when we visited my grandpa one weekend. That was fun.
31
jamiefenste Mar 27, 2026 +36
I grew up in an EXTREMELY conservative and fundamentalist group where the smallest hint of doing something bad was the end of the world. I also had a habit of doing funny accents and voices. One day, I started doing a silly voice where I replaced the start of most words with ‘sh’. For example, ‘Shello! Show are shou doing?’ I was also at a family gathering. I tried to express to them that I wanted to sit in a specific chair. I pointed at one and dramatically proclaimed to everyone, ‘can I shit here?’ The looks on their faces were indescribable. It clicked years later what I had actually said. I had a good long chuckle at myself, unlike my family, who had been very, very angry. Runner up of not me but my childhood best friend- I was in my teen years at this point and rebellious, and had figured out more on my own. She had not. Very innocent still. I was in the car with her and her grandmother. She firmly stated out of nowhere, ‘I want a b******. It sounds really nice.’ Stunned silence filled the car. I slowly did a full turn around and yelped, ‘What?!’ She said ‘yeah, like when you go to a salon and they do your hair up all nice.’ She meant a BLOW OUT. Her grandmother, who was a ‘gentile’ by all accounts, lost her shit laughing. We explained it to my best friend and she was beyond mortified. Ah, the innocence of youth.
36
OpportunitySalt3191 Mar 27, 2026 +30
Last week I called my 5 year old daughter bossy britches. She wanted to know what it meant so I explained to her what it meant. I could only face palm when out it public a couple days later when she exclaimed loudly Daddy don't be a bossy b****.
30
FinalExamination4541 Mar 26, 2026 +53
man, I once shouted “I love you, b*tch!” at my mom in a store thinking it was just a fun thing to say. the looks we got were wild, lol.
53
shooting_starrs Mar 27, 2026 +56
I called my mom a prick. I was watching Speed a lot at the time 🤷‍♀️
56
Kind-Limit4462 Mar 27, 2026 +55
I was in 6th grade (in the 80’s) and bought a bought a little “button” pin that said “Sit on a happy face”, I had no idea what it really meant but I thought it was funny so proudly displayed said button on my little purse strap. After a short while, given the wide eyed & mildly amused reactions from several adults I figured there was something I was missing and started to feel embarrassed so put the “sit on a happy face” button away, whoops…my sheltered naïveté at the time gives me a giggle to this day. 🤭
55
QuiteLady1993 Mar 27, 2026 +57
I called my mom a t*** after she called me a twit
57
Kapleepin Mar 27, 2026 +26
I was a little kid and had been easily influenced by the s*** diner waitresses on TV, so when my grandpa had his buddy over I wanted to be helpful, which resulted in me passing through and saying "can I get you boys anything?" 🤦‍♀️
26
Apprehensive-Bet2081 Mar 27, 2026 +28
I just discovered astrology and excitedly told my mother that I was a virgin. She was happy to know this as I was 9.
28
kaytay3000 Mar 27, 2026 +27
I was in line with my mom at the post office and very loudly announced that the couple behind us was having sex. They were French kissing. My mom wanted the earth to swallow her up she was so embarrassed.
27
ProbablyBigfoot Mar 27, 2026 +30
I told my dad he had a fat d***. I thought it was an insult akin to telling someone they have a fat head.
30
BlindingPhoenix Mar 27, 2026 +25
Ohhhhh god. Here’s one that still gets trotted out at family gatherings. So, I was in elementary school, probably…six years old? Maybe seven? Anyway, I’d just learned what slavery was. We got a very…broad strokes lesson on it. Everyone in my class was white, too, so I was curious as to how black people felt about it. That day after school, I was with my mom picking up groceries. I walked up to the first black guy I saw in the store and said “We used to own you, but you’re free now. How does that feel?” Two decades later, still cringing.
25
Plannet_Depressed Mar 26, 2026 +46
In shopping center "You're such a nonce" Mr only good at beating the shit outa his kids "do you even know what it means?" "Apparently it means idiot" "..calling someone a nonce means you're calling them a pedo" "Oh but [name of friend] said it ment idiot"
46
RelevantNothing4653 Mar 27, 2026 +23
Casual usage of homophobic slurs as elementary and middle school recess insults.
23
Dragon_Bidness Mar 27, 2026 +20
Singing Christmas song "...a one w**** open sleigh"
20
SyntheticOne Mar 27, 2026 +23
Was babysitting for eight nieces and nephews I think I was 15. All went well until the adults came back. My brother and his wife came home along with the couple they had gone out with. They stayed for coffee, dessert and some discussion. As the other couple was driving out the driveway I yelled "Good Riddance!". At the time I thought it meant something positive like "safe drive!"" or "good wishes!". My brother and his wife kinda melted into the porch floor.
23
lookmaiamonreddit Mar 27, 2026 +20
Talking to a person, telling someone a story about how my mom “chewed someone down” in price for something. Not knowing the phrase the other person was hearing is “Jew them down.” I am still embarrassed by this still. You should know I have Asperger’s, so I KNOW I’ve unknowingly said many, many, MANY inappropriate things over the years.
20
tallen0913 Mar 27, 2026 +20
my grandma asked me what i wanted for christmas and i said “a d****” because i thought it meant something soft and squishy. it did not.
20
deepwoof Mar 27, 2026 +24
I had a neighbour who babysat me sometimes, she was probably in her early 20's. She lived with her mom. In my eyes, her mom was super old. So when she told me she was going to visit her grandmother abroad, I blurted out, "Whoa, she's not dead yet?!" She was not happy and kicked me out of her room. My kid logic couldn't comprehend how she could have had a living grandma when her mom was soo old. I also thought about my own grandma being ancient, so how in the world is the grandma of someome in their 20's still alive??
24
Whatasonofabitch Mar 27, 2026 +22
When I was 4, I smashed my finger and the wound was full of pus for about a week. Every day my dad would squeeze the pus out of the wound. One day when my parents had visitors at the house I walked up to my dad and said “Dad, can you squeeze the piss out of this?” The adults got a good laugh out of it. Edit: Apparently it’s pus nor puss. I guess that I don’t see that word in writing very often…
22
BoxenOxen Mar 27, 2026 +22
I came home at 7 or 8 yrs old singing a song I heard on the bus. I only remember the beginning because that's the only part I got to sing before I was stopped. *I know a girl named Billie Jean, she puts out like a coke machine* Literally thought she gave away sodas.
22
Sinistrahd Mar 27, 2026 +21
As a kid, I would purse my lips and fill my mouth up with air and then my mom would clap her hands lightly on the sides of my face and I would forcefully expel the air. One day, I was doing that, but she wasn't looking at me, so, in impatient exasperation, I shouted, "Blow me, mom!" In front of family.
21
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