What's a clichè in movies that never actually happens in real life?

This is why you don’t kill them before taking them to the burial site and forcing them to dig their own grave, dummy. Follow me for more life/death hacks.

Also, movies and shows will have someone dig a grave in a forest without ever having to deal with the various roots from different trees. Edit: replaced dug with dig

In movies it takes so little time you can just leave your headlights on the whole time so you can see. You don't even need to have the engine running, the battery will hold just fine. But yeah, depending on where you live you can dig with a shovel for hours and barely make a dent in the ground.

I also love when the walls are perfectly straight.

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Some people just never watched Holes

They seem to dig up bodies every 5 minutes in Supernstural like theyre buried in 10cm of sand and not 6ft of heavy clay and rock.

I watched the first two episodes of Pluribus last night and I appreciated the way they handled this.

Comedian Nate Bargatze has a pretty funny bit about this very topic. Edit: here's the clip https://youtu.be/DCzbTSvzjZA?si=Rofj4eLxsPqEBNj4

Someone has some experience..

Yet

Shaun of the Dead where he flips through like fifteen channels whose dialogue all lines up to complete a full sentence.

Arrested development did a joke about this https://youtu.be/yjqbiMFonR8?si=RuZCbPO8Of-Y844B

Related, character sees or overhears news segment and says hey can you turn that up? A few more seconds go by and when the volume is finally turned up we see the entire story instead of only hearing the last half of it.

I can remember several instances this has actually happened. I mean it doesn't happen all the time but there are times where I've been told to turn on the TV, asked what channel, was told it didn't matter and they were right. Examples: 9-11, Oklahoma bombing, the Challenger disaster, Berlin Wall, Bin Ladens death, Monica-Clinton Scandal, revolt against Saddam Hussain (the fall of his statue moreover), Princess Diana's death That's just what I can think of off the top of my head. I don't know that anything recently has happened like this. Before mainstream social media, we got our news from news TV, newspapers, and the radio. If something major happened it was everywhere. Not only was it all over TV, and radio, often times second issues of news papers were issued in a single day. Schools often had TVs brought in and students watched events unfold.

When I was in high school we turned on the TV after hearing about a horrible place crash just in time to see the second plane hit the Twin Towers

Or basically any time someone goes unconscious and wakes up fine (except for rubbing their neck for 2 seconds). Unconsciousness is at least a concussion with a variation of symptoms you don't just walk off.

Honestly, the "knocking someone unconscious" trope seems to keep reappearing, even though it's definitively proven wrong.

In Sweden, a man is being sentenced today [for bludgeoning an elderly couple to death with a fire extinguisher.](https://www.dn.se/sverige/petra-hittade-sina-foraldrar-mordade-i-hallen-det-ar-overkligt/) In the article, the daughter mentions she tried not to listen when the crime was recounted, as seeing the aftermath (she's the one who found them) was enough.

Honestly most prolonged fight sequences piss me off. Sorry, you can’t take a metal pipe to the face and just… keep fighting. And when people get the shit kicked out of them only to have, like, a band-aid on it in the next scene instead of being swollen to twice the normal size.

I really appreciated Roofman for this. A character gets punched hard enough to get knocked out, and instead of it being a tidy little nap, we see the knocked out character lying in a small pool of blood by his head while others shout that he needs a hospital because he's clearly severely injured. 

I like in one of the Stephen King books that I read, one character hits the other a number of times in the head before they fall unconscious. He writes like yeah, hitting once only works out in movies.

You've just assumed they'd even say goodbye. So many times I've watched a show where they all just hang up on each other and spluttered out "does *no-one* say goodbye in the US??"

There's a free parking spot right in front of the place they're meeting, they order a drink, then leave without more than a sip.

Or characters drive or move to a different location then go over some more exposition even though they could have been driving for an hour so why hold the discussion

I loved *24* for there everything is just around the corner drive times.  Everything is happening in real time. But main character was driving in the middle of the city during rush hour and 3 minutes later is at some country manor and then is back in the city a couple of minutes later having showered and shaved. 

Chloe from 24 and Penelope from Criminal Minds are experts at this.

"I've hacked into the mainframe!' *Miscellaneous beeping noises*

I always loved how the limitless TV show handled this, in one of the main characters frequent fourth wall breaks he tells the audience real hacking is slow and boring to watch so here are 30 seconds of kittens instead

r/itsaunixsystem

It’s because they made a gui (gooey) interface first

Was just watching an episode of Dexter yesterday where a character thought she'd caught him cheating on her. "Wait, I can explain." Then DO THAT already, FFS, where is all that urgency you have when you're murdering people-

Plus, there's a reason why anesthesiologist is a highly paid medical profession. There's a very, very fine line between being rendered unconscious by a drug and being rendered dead from a drug. Keeping someone unconscious for a long time without them dying (or waking up) is actually really tricky.

And then don't you have to keep the chloroform over the mouth to keep it working? I thought they used to have chloroform masks they would keep refreshed over people's faces during surgery.

Still better then the opposite: Everything can be solved by a quick chat but everybody is too vague to convey any relevant information.

and everything is said absolutely perfectly with the best of grammar/vocabulary and precise thought for 5 minutes straight. no one can speak like that off the rip in real life haha

*Sorry, Mom…gotta go!*

I hate that. Wouldn't it be easier for the crew (in addition to making more sense) if they just had a reasonable amount of 2-3 different food items (toast, eggs, bacon...) instead of a huge buffet with literal piles of 12 different foods? Who tf makes toast, waffles, and muffins for the same meal???

Add to that the pump action noise getting someone’s attention and they turn to see a break action shotgun in their face.

And no one develops tinnitus or hearing loss, despite a lifetime of firing weapons regularly without earpro

This drives me nuts (and by extension my wife since I won’t shut about it). Sometimes they even set dates this way! “See you tomorrow…let’s say around 5pm? Deal!” Insane.

“Ok, I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time.” —Albert Brooks, *Broadcast News*

> Clara Clayton: Science? What sort of science? Astronomy? Chemistry? > > Doc Brown: Actually I'm a student of all sciences.

I've worked with actual scientists with every conceivable personality. The actually good ones are so terrified of going outside of their expertise. Once you get a reputation for being a bullshitter you're basically finished. Now you're selling to cranks, the stupid, and the mentally ill.

Also known as "every Andy Weir protagonist." (I love his books anyways, don't @ me)

I’ve been trying to normalize this for years.

Ordering "a beer". Like just pick a random last name. "I'll have a McKinley"

And the circles around the eyes are totally devoid of any of the dirt/blood lol!

Great bit in a novel called Feet of clay where a rookie watchmen tries that and goes "That' tastes like ... Blugh blu gurgle gurgle gurgle"

Brushed teeth- spit blood

What a...very specific scenario 🤔

Monsters, Inc. anyone? That ending scene made so many kids think that if a company does wrong, the CEO will be punished. Nope. Justice always sides with the CEO and he/she gets even richer.

Politicians actually care about their city

Always a metal pan lol

Unless you're a main character, then it takes 3-5 business days.

I think it was in was in the TV show The Following where someone was stabbed in the gut and the reason they died quickly was that the hepatic artery was severed. At least they gave a reason.

Moreso following them to the gate while boarding the plane lol

Also jumping straight into the conversation. No hello, nor any normal formalities. Also getting through 1st time on less than 2 rings.  Unless it's really urgent, then the phone was left on silent while the character went for a long shower.

Or answering by just saying their last name. Try that next time someone calls you. It's pretty funny.

This was the biggest event in our lives, but I'll summarise it quickly incase you forgot the details.

Have you never been in a meeting with a senior director or higher? Most don’t know shit about the day to day so you always start out with the basics of a process that they don’t know, but you put it this way so they feel respected while teaching them before moving onto the actual point later.

The keys and doctor thing is common in smaller towns. Maybe not brain surgery, but some surgeries and definitely births, with the follow up appointment at their very quaint little office.

Nah, I give this one a pass (aside from the doing it after brutal killing part). Horror movie protagonists don't know they're in a horror movie. People *do* investigate the spooky noise if they have a reason to be looking around. People *do* dismiss the seemingly supernatural thing.

this is one of those odd in movies, perfectly normal in real life things in horror movies or slasher movies, when there are odd sounds in the middle of the night its infuriating when they go to investigate as you know they will be killed when i hear a noise at 3am in my home i look without a second thought. more often than not its just an animal or the wind

I mean, do you not think that the guy who recorded it was ever in a situation where he screamed?

Or when a group of bad guys are fighting one good guy and they each stand there waiting for their turn to attack, instead of all of them just rushing the good guy at the same time.

Even worse, opening the door for a knock without checking who it is.

Maybe he spidermaned himself to the side of the bus…

Especially because usually even when it’s done ‘well’ (i.e. you can plausibly see how they somehow disappeared) it entails them BOLTING. It’s just really silly to imagine, especially because they’re moving slowly / are still before the transition

How else do you get the baguette home? Mine always stick out.