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Announcements Apr 1, 2026 at 6:40 PM

What’s a 'green flag' in a person that is often overlooked or undervalued?

Posted by Positive_Try_7114



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ThroughHuawai Apr 1, 2026 +423
After almost interrupting someone in a group conversation they pause and say, "Sorry, go ahead" 1. They recognized they were about to overtalk someone 2. They valued what the other person had to say 3. They will probably forget what they had to say, and that is OK with them
423
BigDamnHead Apr 1, 2026 +133
Similarly, someone who throws the conversation back to someone who was interrupted by a third party. "You were telling us about..."
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ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +42
As someone with ADHD that hits hard. Gotta say, I don’t *ever* butt in when someone’s talking, but I do have that tendency to excessively talk and give more detail than is necessary. But it’s nice to see someone acknowledge us for doing those three things you listed.
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Angry_Sparrow Apr 1, 2026 +23
ADHD people interrupting means that they’re interested and engaged in the conversation. But it’s perceived as rude sadly. Two adhd people talking to each other are like excited kids interrupting each other constantly.
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imaveryniceKaren Apr 1, 2026 +6
Wow, that's good. I don't know why - because I'm not a rude person - but I tend to interrupt and I often catch myself and stop, but I'm going to try even harder to do this. My two high school girlfriends and I used to quote Ann Landers' (we're old) saying .."Interruption is the hallmark of a lively conversation." Yeah, to a point! Edit to add quote.
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DIABLO258 Apr 1, 2026 +407
If an awkward silence isn't awkward, they're a real one
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AnElkaWolfandaFox Apr 1, 2026 +49
It took me so long to understand and embrace this one.
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Slow-Assistance Apr 1, 2026 +8
That’s actually a big one.
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tophaang Apr 1, 2026 +1
This scene in Pulp Fiction really resonated with 13 year old me. I remember sitting there in the theater and thinking, “that makes a lot of sense”. https://youtu.be/KnVX-uv-QPc?si=zvzNrW9BM4YSh-pq
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Designer_Till_3478 Apr 1, 2026 -1
Talker
-1
justaheatattack Apr 1, 2026 +158
showing up.
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Hutcher_Du Apr 1, 2026 +60
Absolutely this. I know people struggle with anxiety and social batteries and stuff, but if you value friendships and want to retain them, you gotta show up for your friends! Better yet, organize stuff and invite your friends! The world is run by people who show up.
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justaheatattack Apr 1, 2026 +8
gee, gotta go....
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PleasantPorpoisParty Apr 1, 2026 +7
We lost a Listnookor, but someone out there just gained a friendship (also nice username, and are you a cat)
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RunsfromWisdom Apr 1, 2026 +12
The converse is also true. I’ve decided I’m just not doing it anymore with people who can’t make plans and carry through with them. 
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Hutcher_Du Apr 1, 2026 +17
Yeah, understandable. I also do cut people slack. I’m a single guy with enough free time to do the things I like. My friend is married and has two young kids, so I get that I need to go more than halfway sometimes. And that’s cool.
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_dmhg Apr 1, 2026 +5
You sound like a really good friend to have 🫂
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Hutcher_Du Apr 1, 2026 +4
Aw, thanks for that!
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RunsfromWisdom Apr 1, 2026 +4
Definitely. I’m not kicking anyone to the curb for once or twice, or being busy. But if a pattern is emerging where I may as well never make plans with you, I’m not putting effort into the relationship.
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Moon_Tempttress Apr 1, 2026 +136
saying i dont know instead of faking expertise. valid fr
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dumbinternetstuff Apr 1, 2026 +32
I work in an elementary school and we literally just did a whole two-day unit teaching our fifth graders the social, academic, and professional value of being willing to say “I don’t know” when we genuinely don’t know something. It seems like admitting weakness, but in reality it strengthens credibility. 
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bokin8 Apr 1, 2026 +62
Autonomously doing chores/cleaning up after themselves. It's a huge help, especially if they are a guest is someone else's home and they do this.
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m-i-a-beard Apr 1, 2026 +39
Assuming best intentions rather than rushing to judgement
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Kittii_Kat Apr 1, 2026 +1
The opposite is such a common red flag, too. 😢
1
Neither-Employee6848 Apr 1, 2026 +94
Someone who listens to understand, not just to reply. It’s rare and easy to miss.
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KarateKid1984 Apr 1, 2026 +189
Someone who has situational awareness. They recognize the physical space they take up, and stand aside in isles, or move their carts out of the middle of a row. Perhaps they don't stop right in a doorway...just general awareness of those types of things.
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dottmatrix Apr 1, 2026 +35
That's spatial awareness, not situational awareness.
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fredinNH Apr 1, 2026 +45
It’s both. You not only realize you’re blocking, you do something to prevent others from being inconvenienced.
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KarateKid1984 Apr 1, 2026 +7
You’re 100% correct. That’s what I meant but I was typing quickly before a meeting and now I’ve shamed myself lol.
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shiggydiggydoo Apr 1, 2026 +6
It drives me nuts when able-bodied people just walk out in front of cars without even paying attention and then don't even have the courtesy to hurry across. I'm always trying to move across the road as fast as possible when I'm walking if I can see someone is waiting on me
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pandasaur7 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Doing PT.....I got quad tendinosis, and a kneecap that doesnt glide well. I can walk, but Im also not hurrying along and messing up my knee or causing myself unneccessary pain.....
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chonkyborkers Apr 1, 2026 +1
invisible disabilities are a thing and are pretty common
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Gerreth_Gobulcoque Apr 1, 2026 +1
They're walking and you're driving a giant speed machine. You can wait
1
mynipplescutglass Apr 1, 2026 +54
Someone who when talking about someone they had a falling out with, regardless of fault, say kind things about them still. People hurt people all the time, Even best friends do it. So the people who are able to objectively care about someone regardless of friendship status is a huge green flag for me.
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ProfessorSMASH88 Apr 1, 2026 +16
I have a couple people that I hate with the bottom of my heart, they did me dirty and it would be a long road to forgiveness if it ever happened. However, I still admit to the things they do well. Anything less is untruthful and petty.
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mynipplescutglass Apr 1, 2026 +3
I think you have a good quality right there. You're a good one!
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YourGlacier Apr 1, 2026 +1
I have a former best friend who sadly succumbed to a really dark side. Like internet famous for doxxing type of dark side. And I have to say, he was a brutally intelligent dude and I really enjoyed the conversations we had. I think he had a very good side and a very bad side and he was not willing to live in the grey area for long. So he was always flip-flopping. I will always miss those conversations and I will forever be a tiny bit sad I had to cut him out of my life when he started to get too toxic online. But he's just a really bad guy now, I don't even think one could forgive him for some of the things he did to others.
1
HarryBalsagna1776 Apr 1, 2026 +19
A willingness to accept criticism.  Many people view this as weakness.  It's actually strength.
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InsectDelicious4503 Apr 1, 2026 +15
People who don't just cancel or say they can't make it, they actively try to reschedule by suggesting a different date.
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carlmango11 Apr 1, 2026 +17
You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat those who can offer them nothing. Watch how people treat powerless low status individuals.
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boojustaghost Apr 1, 2026 +54
people who take excellent care of their pets, especially small animals like fish, rodents, and reptiles. sub-par care and even abuse for these animals is common and normalized. you might think the idea of a reptile room is creepy at first glance, but that person maintains temperature, humidity, diets, water conditions, substrate, and the health and happiness of an often overlooked creature. and no one had to ask them to do that.
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--Rick--Astley-- Apr 1, 2026 +50
Returning the shopping cart.
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MaderaArt Apr 1, 2026 +1
You know the rules, and so do I.
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DisastrousNotice9260 Apr 1, 2026 +1
There are too many people out there who think they are good people just because they return the shopping cart.
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dumbinternetstuff Apr 1, 2026 +7
Punctuality
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Mr_Industrial Apr 1, 2026 +25
When the person has a listnook username like u/Mr_Industrial or if they're like a generic nerdy white guy that drives a 1997 green Toyota. Bonus points if they currently have a pen and a random salt packet in my pocket.
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Tech-Tom Apr 1, 2026 +2
Damn, that's me! Except for the username, the green Toyota and the salt packet.
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razhun Apr 1, 2026 +2
I also have a pen and a salt packet in this guy's pocket
2
ProfessorSMASH88 Apr 1, 2026
Toyota Tercel?
0
XBeCoolManX Apr 1, 2026 +7
Being the bigger person can often get confused with being a pushover. On the other hand, being stern enough to stick up yourself can be seen as overreacting. People who are emotionally intelligent enough to balance the two can be hard to come by
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ViolaOrsino Apr 1, 2026 +6
If they match their walking pace with yours!
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peanutstand Apr 1, 2026 +4
So,,, you not matching your walking pace to their walking pace is a red flag?????
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ViolaOrsino Apr 1, 2026 +1
Oh no, you’re right— I think I might be the red flag!! 😂 If I’m with someone whose pace is slower than mine— they’re shorter, they don’t walk as quickly, they’re heavyset, etc— then I’ll match my pace to theirs. But it’s nice when I don’t have to match my pace to the faster person!
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failedxperiment Apr 1, 2026 +1
My wife doesnt do this and it makes me feel 😔 she just walks ahead of me and leaves me behind.
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ViolaOrsino Apr 1, 2026 +1
Oh no!! Hold her hand while you walk and maybe it’ll remind her to slow her pace to yours 🥺
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ghostinshell-1995 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Slow walkers are red flags!!!! Haha
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zazzlekdazzle Apr 1, 2026 +5
Someone who is predictable about when they can be supportive and what about. I have several ride-or-die besties, but not a single one of them is great in every kind of crisis or someone I can rely on in every type of situation. BUT I know which one to call on depending on the circumstances. No one is good at everything, but being someone you can rely on a good amount of the time is the best you can do, and it's pretty awesome and undervalued.
5
Accomplished-Run221 Apr 1, 2026 +6
Kindness to kids and animals.
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TeddingtonMerson Apr 1, 2026 +1
—They can hear good things about someone and be actually glad for them. They don’t need to make excuses or diminish others’ accomplishments. — They are polite to people who can’t help them get ahead. They call the cleaner by name, are the same to the kid when the adults aren’t around, etc.
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FluffBusty Apr 1, 2026 +4
Individuality. Having a quirky part of themselves that isn't directly copied from one form of media or another.
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godlessrage Apr 1, 2026 +22
Righteous anger, when someone has a true and viceral anger at general evil things. So many people are apathetic about so much now.
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dumbinternetstuff Apr 1, 2026 +4
There is so much to be angry about. It’s tough to know when to get angry about things anymore. 
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godlessrage Apr 1, 2026 +1
True, but another green flag is common sense. Anger from an irrational place is itself irrational. No emotion is valid unless thought out, and from oneself. Only get angry when it makes sense. Otherwise it's invalid and irrational so not righteous. But I get what you mean everything is either blown up or buried. Both are bad.
1
Olru95 Apr 1, 2026 +11
Una bandera verde que por lo general se ignora es el no tener vicios. Y no me refiero sólo a las drogas, sino tambien el no ser adicto al alcohol, el cigarrillo, los juegos de azar, la pornografía, tiktok, etc. Una persona con plena lucidez mental es una joya, algo que escasea hoy en día.
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ghostinshell-1995 Apr 1, 2026 +6
Most people, and I mean 99.9% if not more, don’t come anywhere close to this. Forget about the obvious things like drugs and alcohol - caffeine, social media, and p*** are devastating to the psyche and there is only one person in my life who isn’t addicted to those things and I am dating them. So grateful.
6
Michael-VURSE Apr 1, 2026 +3
Sugar. Caffeine. Cortisol/adrenaline.
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BigDamnHead Apr 1, 2026 +5
Alcohol and nicotine are drugs
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Electrical_Drama8477 Apr 1, 2026 +2
He respects all , doesn’t mean he is unbothered or less confident
2
Marthman Apr 1, 2026 +3
Altering a previous judgment commensurate with updated evidence and/or reasoning.  Not only do people tend to simply overlook "intellectual virtues" like this, but when they DO witness it they, too often, will act like such an alteration is a sign of weakness, when it is anything but.
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mild_delusion Apr 1, 2026 +1
All the answers I can think of boil back down to humility.
1
LarryPrawn_LTD Apr 1, 2026 +1
Lack of, or no, social media participation.
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KONUG Apr 1, 2026 +1
Not constantly being on the phone, checking asocial media and messages.
1
HyperImmune Apr 1, 2026 +1
Why is this question asked daily on this sub??
1
RealLifeKaran Apr 1, 2026 +2
This! It’s such a simple thing but it shows so much respect for the people around you. There’s nothing more frustrating than someone treating a busy sidewalk like their living room.
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FlyingCatLady Apr 1, 2026 +1
Cats like them. Cats are great judges of character in my experience. They don’t like people who aren’t dependable or at least kind.
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roncraig Apr 1, 2026 +1
spoken like someone whose username is u/flyingcatlady
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SadDifficulty8967 Apr 1, 2026 +1
That is his talent, it’s always overlooked because people focus on physical looks rather than actual ability.
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misspuddingpie Apr 1, 2026 +2
What?
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Designer_Till_3478 Apr 1, 2026 +1
They don't look people straight in the eye and often their eyes are downcast.
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stingwhale Apr 1, 2026 +1
I like that the person directly above you said staring was their green flag
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DunderMifflinTroll Apr 1, 2026 -6
Money
-6
joejimjoe Apr 1, 2026 +1
Yeah if they got enough paper they're gonna be a good time cause they don't care about running up the tab
1
The_Vengeful_Wolf Apr 1, 2026 -9
Staring People assume it’s creepy but in reality they are just admiring.
-9
IIsaacClarke Apr 1, 2026 +11
It is creepy what are you talking about
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TheAppleCat Apr 1, 2026 +4
Nah it is creepy u prolly js coping
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prove____it Apr 1, 2026 +2
Here's the red flag.
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altyegmagazine Apr 1, 2026 +2
I zone out a fair bit and people always think I'm staring. Really I'm just jamming out in my own mind thinking aboot things. I like it in my head.
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The_Vengeful_Wolf Apr 1, 2026 +2
Staring People assume it’s creepy but in reality they are just admiring UPDATE: To everyone downvoting me and commenting, it’s funny how you guys are assume I’m the one staring. Have it once crossed your mind that people stare at me and I’m taking it as admiration and not creepy? You guys exposed yourself lol.
2
HeroBartender Apr 1, 2026 +1
Watchlist alert.
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MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 -13
Im gonna say something controversial. As long as it's not a hygiene thing or something. Virginity. Not saying non virgins are not great but knowing the person you about to sleep with is 100% clean because they haven't been with anyone in an age where treatment resistant STI are on the rise is nice. Yes it might be awkward but you can always teach people OR learn together.
-13
altyegmagazine Apr 1, 2026 +7
Nah I like a girl with some skills and experience. I've had girls ask for sti tests though before and that's been a green flag.
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MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 +3
And that's fine that's great! Like I'm not asserting superiority. There's pros and cons to both routes.
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altyegmagazine Apr 1, 2026 +1
Yeah same, I wasn't putting your opinion down just making my own.
1
Sassyza Apr 1, 2026 +6
Well, at least you know your statement is controversial. Are you going to marry this person that you were going to sleep with who is a virgin? Do you give them proof that you’re clean? By the way, how do you know they are a virgin?
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MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 +1
I mean nobody is mind reader how would you verify much of anything people say is true or false? You gotta trust but hopefully you get to know someone to see if they a honest person. And be upfront what you looking for. But I'm not in anyway saying you should discard someone because of virginity status. I'm just saying a simple fact there is a rise in treatment resistant STIs. Wasn't it just on the news herpes outbreak or something with spring breakers? All I'm saying is if you happened to like someone and they happen to be a virgin it can be a positive thing. That's all. I mean if you have slept around I hope for you're sake you are tested but sure give them proof too for transparency. I can't say if you should marry this person or not that would be between what you and that person discussed and the terms of your relationship. Idk why people feel so attacked lol
1
Sassyza Apr 1, 2026 +1
I don’t disagree with what you’re saying at all. But you still haven’t answered if you’re a virgin.
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MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 +1
My opinion would be exactly the same because it's just a factual observation. My sexual status is not coloring my opinion. But sure I am a virgin.
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Sassyza Apr 1, 2026 +2
Thank you for responding. As I said, I agree with what you’re saying. I just like the fact that you want the same thing that you were going to be able to give to someone. Good on you.
2
OddWorldliness989 Apr 1, 2026 +2
You poor b******! Are you trying to start WW3 here! Man, I see your point but mere mention of virginity gets people riled up.
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MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Didn't know I set off a tactical nuke 🤷‍♂️
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stingwhale Apr 1, 2026 +2
Wait why wouldn’t you just both get tested for STDs? I
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The_Vengeful_Wolf Apr 1, 2026 +2
I agree and I get way you getting downvoted. Lots of people here live in there heads and not the real world. I made a thread about at what age would you consider it to be odd if you still had your virginity and got down voted severally and people literally said there is no age. lol lots of delusional people here.
2
MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Oh people definitely judge your age. A lot of people think if you 25+ it's odd but definitely once in 30s
1
Hot-Hamster1691 Apr 1, 2026 +2
So you are going to marry that person? Or just create a non-virgin to go out in the wild and be judged by people like you?  Interesting.  How are you going to teach someone anything if you are also a virgin? Because you are, right? You would have to be to have this kind of a take
2
justf0rtherecord Apr 1, 2026 +2
He specifically said non virgins are still great so I'm not sure where the judgement is. Seemed more like a practical observation that virgins are much more unlikely to have an STI. Which is great.
2
MysteryMan999 Apr 1, 2026 -2
Could marry that person or not thats up to you both and you can sub out teach for learn if both are virgin or relatively inexperienced. You shouldn't feel judged I didn't say every non virgin is infected or dirty. You reading way too much into this. But I did say it was controversial opinion.
-2
Standard_Public892 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Yes, I really love my wife because she was a virgin and we have this special bond no one else has shared. But it's listnook and they have to virtue-signal so they're going to say you're a misogynist incel redpill whatever.
1
Positive_Try_7114 Apr 1, 2026
Agreed
0
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