ListNook

Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +2

Open relationships or anything like that where people are sexual with people besides their partner even if they agree to it - unless one part very obviously just won't leave because they feel like their only other option is no partner at all lol

2

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +2

Most people agree to it hoping it’ll fix something

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Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +2

Yeah could be - no idea what drives it.. probably different thing and im sure some go along because they know they they don't wanna be in the relationship themselves long term many years down the road anyway .. but it's a wild thing when people tell about it as some casual thing they share like "this is my/our lifestyle" and got no clue how people think they are saying anything other then "this is just my favourite fuckbuddy out of the bunch" or something like that lol

2

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

do you think it’s always like that though or just the cases you’ve seen?

1

Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +1

I really don't know - only speculation but it screams "this wont last" harder than anything when I have met people who share that they do it lol but im sure its not always like that - prob many many different reasons and some way more complex then what I just wrote

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

yeah fair, probably depends on the people tbh but i can see how that dynamic would get messy over time

1

Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +1

yeah I can't see how that dynamic doesn't get messy over time either unless you in some sense "dont care" about your partner experiencing the same type of connectedness with someone else and if you don't care about that then that just seems a bit more like being a bit sociopathic or psychopathic or something very callous where you don't care about you partner on a very important level other then maybe for practical reasons I dont think you can be deeply bonded with a partner and at the same time know they are having something like this with someone else (whom they could potentially prefere or leave you for) and not be jealous, sad or something else that .. must at least be a huge source of insecurity cause there is literally someone who could replace you permanently since they already replace you every now and then but super interesting and strange to see people talk about it casually and share details about it if they do it themselves - I think it only happens because its rude to go "that seems pretty fucked" in response

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +2

I will say as someone who has a unique sex life with their spouse for most people it’s an absolute no go and especially if you are already struggling to love and care for one another. But there are thousands of couples with unique lives and set rules and boundaries that do fine. Def not most people though

2

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

yeah that’s kinda what i was thinking too, i don’t even know if it’s the “idea” itself that’s the issue or just the fact that the relationship isn’t fully solid to begin with Like, do you think stuff like that works *because* the relationship is already strong, or can it actually fix things if it’s not?

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +1

If you don’t have a strong relationship and respect you’re screwed on arrival. It will speed run a break up

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

you are right

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Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +1

When do you think it works? And does "as someone who has a unique sex life with their spouse" mean you have more partners? unless it's too private to share of course:) like Im not here to judge and if you do that sort of stuff you got no bad wishes from me - it just "screams, ‘this won’t last'" in my eyes personally

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +2

No worries! So us personally we have had date nights/sex with women throughout our relationship. These are our friends and there is no romantic intentions with them. Right now there’s only one and she’s a wonderful person and lover. It’s working because we all genuinely want the experience and care about eachothers good time. There’s also a psychological kink of being able to woo a lady together that makes me feel very powerful. That being said my husband and I are crazy about eachother and if this part out lives ended tomorrow we’d truly be fine

2

Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +1

I see you, but then they are clearly more of an accessory to your personal thing - seems more like a kink thing such as B*** and other stuff like like I get the feeling that you wouldn't be cool with you husband staying at her place over the weekend with no phone contact during those days right?

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +1

Yeah no that would be weird. Like don’t get me wrong we have def hung out with her alone but going no contact is crazy and not our mo. And that does not leave a door open for us to just go off with anyone we want separately. Doing it together is the fun part

1

Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +1

Yeah you dont have an open relationship at all - cause that friend of yours you have had sex with sometimes is not in any relationship with you two I could criqitue your relationship in other ways .. and I (and you and your husband) could do it to my own too though or any other in the world lol .. but I definitely dont think you have an open relationship or the type of thing that I was talking about what do you think of open relationships though? like the ones where you and your husband legit could have several partners .. and your husband could go on a vacation with his other girlfrind/wife for a week and before he came back to see you after this vacation maybe he would visit his bonus third girlfriend/wife for a day or two first cause she lives nearby on his way back home to you like I think real open relationships like that with several partners (or just two) who are legit partners seem like such an insanely bad way of doing relationships to me .. cant see how it can be good but legit at the end of the day I dont know obviously

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +1

I think works for some people but wouldn’t work for me and him. I have met people in these types of relationships and are happy with the arrangement and if they were not would renegotiate terms Or communicate their feelings or breakup. And I only commented because your comment said “or anything like that where people are sexual with people besides their partner even if they agree to it” I thought that included what I have but clearly you don’t so no biggie

1

Purple_Media_8942 Mar 28, 2026 +1

like I think it can be super fun to discuss things just cause its interesting to think about how people and the world works but yeah I probably would make the argument that the kind of relationship you have where you bring another girl into a threeway-thing gotta have some pretty .. idk the what the world would be but maybe "bad" things to it too .. but yeah the thing is you can do that to probably all types of relationships even the most standard type like my own where you are one monogamous obviously contentious subject for some but I would argue that what the people you have met in these types of arrangements are doing something very different that does not nearly as much in common with what I and you do as one might think if you were just saying "yes non of us are single" - makes sense?

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +1

Sure

1

Downtown-One-7775 Mar 28, 2026 +2

One person swallowing their dissatisfaction, while the other doesn’t even notice.

2

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

do you think it’s more mental or like a compatibility thing?

1

Jumpy_Distance_1326 Mar 28, 2026 +1

When they stop putting effort into their appearance once they get comfortable - not talking about full glam every day but like basic hygiene starts slipping and they just completely let themselves go Having standards for yourself shows you still care about being attractive to your partner, even years in

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

true

1

Aureliaaaaaaaaaaaaa Mar 28, 2026 +1

Grają

1

quiteadom Mar 28, 2026 +1

Publicly argue

1

deargodineedabeer Mar 28, 2026 +1

Constantly posting how happy they are. Ehhhhh

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

If you have to convince the internet, you’re probably convincing yourself too

1

Irish_go0dbye Mar 28, 2026 +1

Using insecurities and low self esteem to guilt their partner. Saying things like "everyone leaves me eventually", "I'm unloveable", "I'm sure you'll treat me like the rest", "you don't actually mean that compliment" etc.

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

I've faced this in past

1

Tiffxoxox Mar 28, 2026 +1

3 some

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

agreed

1

Nomiknowsme Mar 28, 2026 +1

Either "this won't last" or "this won't be healthy" -No or extremely limited division of labour, I see this a lot with young couples. One person is grinding and doing everything and the other is just a lazy bum coasting and usually using a litany of excuses -One or both partners refusing to do something necessary for the household because their partner normally does it or they believe it's gendered -Becoming so familiar that you forget they're their own person, volunteering your partner for things without consulting them or immediately dismissing a point they make but acting as if it's revolutionary when someone else says it -Not acknowledging and talking about the bullshit. Familiarity breeds contempt, if you don't talk about the little things, it gets harder to tackle the big things -Arguing with the person and not the situation. A lot of times I see couples come to a situation and immediately turn on each other rather than working together. You argue with the situation, not with the one person willing to help you with it -Not talking openly and objectively about themselves and the relationship. I see a lot of people who will talk about their problems, but it never gets applied inwards, so it seems more like constant nagging. There's a huge difference between "You always leave towels on the floor, I f****** hate it! You need to clean up after yourself" And "Hey I've noticed we've been getting a little sloppy lately, I've seen you're leaving towels around and lord knows I haven't been doing the dishes as often as I should, do you think we can try and keep the place a bit tidier?"

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +2

Half of these are just people wanting a partner, not a partnership

2

Putrid_Bluejay_9807 Mar 28, 2026 +1

Brag about how happy they are, statements like we don’t argue we never argue

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

lowkey feels like they’re avoiding problems

1

Putrid_Bluejay_9807 Mar 28, 2026 +1

Exactly what I say in my mind and this always leads to an argument at some point

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

yeah that makes sense i feel like some level of disagreement is normal, otherwise things are probably just being pushed aside do you think people realize it when it’s happening?

1

Putrid_Bluejay_9807 Mar 28, 2026 +1

For people like that I don’t know if they actually do or they are blinded about the feeling the relationship has on them like feeling cared for. Idk

1

evolveandprosper Mar 28, 2026 +1

The bigger and more over-the-top the displays and protestations of love are, the more likely it is that the relationship will founder.

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

like the louder it is on the outside the more it feels like they’re trying to convince themselves too

1

Key-Philosopher-8050 Mar 28, 2026 +1

Bicker. Constantly.

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

honestly yeah

1

Fabythedreamer Mar 28, 2026 +1

disrespect each other in public

1

smellyfeet25 Mar 28, 2026 +1

No relationship lasts as nobody lasts. Everything is temporary

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

that way , nothing should make sense.

1

No_Journalist_9618 Mar 28, 2026 +1

When he’s not low key terrified of her

1

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

well… definitely healthy 😂

1

Pale_Guess629 Mar 28, 2026

Healthy communication and mutual respect

0

Pretty-Substance540 Mar 28, 2026 +1

Funny how everyone says this but avoids actual uncomfortable conversations

1

What’s something people do in relationships that screams, ‘this won’t last'?

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