ListNook

rajashreenivas_reddy Apr 1, 2026 +646

Being genuinely kind to people when there’s nothing to gain from it.

646

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +37

i agree

37

ShoddyInitiative2637 Apr 1, 2026 +37

Is basic human decency a green flag now?

37

Nejiniceguy Apr 1, 2026 +43

shockingly, yes.

43

miniangelgirl Apr 1, 2026 +8

:( *sigh*

8

Flimsy_Listen_5851 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Yeahh being kind and appreciating everyone's efforts instead of pulling each other down. These kinda people are generally good at heart but they also need to be treated the same way coz they deserve it too.

1

No-Ambassadorr Apr 1, 2026 +3

absolutely true

3

Choice_Fee6440 Apr 1, 2026 +1037

good posture. it sounds basic but it changes how u come across

1037

whaletacochamp Apr 1, 2026 +535

3000 listnookors just sat up straight in their desk chairs

535

solitarycrank Apr 1, 2026 +145

3001.

145

reticenthuman Apr 1, 2026 +41

3002

41

mth413 Apr 1, 2026 +23

3003

23

SakuDoka Apr 1, 2026 +18

3004

18

NobleTemplar Apr 1, 2026 +16

Till 3005 we got this hol up

16

TownHeavy153 Apr 1, 2026 +8

3005

8

Any_Cake2411 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Still 3005.. I didn't, because no more than 5 seconds later I would be slouched again so I didn't bother but I shall admit I will be getting up to stretch.

1

Solfudge Apr 1, 2026 +18

And MY axe

18

Particular-Barber299 Apr 1, 2026 +10

And my back

10

Pacificsexlegend Apr 1, 2026 +7

And my neck

7

fastsaf Apr 1, 2026 +7

And my crack

7

Naive-Enthusiasm1799 Apr 1, 2026 +1

My xx and my Crack

1

Amazing_Divide1214 Apr 1, 2026 +6

2999...

6

Woodit Apr 1, 2026 +31

I remember once the attractive gal who works at my gym complimented me on my posture as I was walking out, it was really nice

31

No-Town1245 Apr 1, 2026 +9

fr like good posture is a game changer for how people vibe with u, trust me

9

FrozenBibitte Apr 1, 2026 +6

It can change your face too and make you look 10lbs thinner in some cases.

6

goth-crow Apr 1, 2026 +4

People are so quick to judge that good posture makes all the difference. Bonus, it tucks in the git and makes your chest more perky!

4

Humble-Adeptness-267 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Yeah this for me is huge. I like a girl who is comfortable in her body but also has decent/good posture. Also, if she carries herself in a graceful or feminine way. Goes a looong way for me lol

2

tbot888 Apr 1, 2026 +1

I think if you’re focusing that much on it you know it’s good for your appearance. What your saying is it’s something that people don’t realise can make them unattractive?

1

Initial_Minimum_389 Apr 1, 2026 +968

being genuinely interested in what other people are saying, like when im sharing my story he be listening and it clearly makes me appreciate it and get attractive to it

968

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +109

when they pay attention yes yes

109

trechea_yUki Apr 1, 2026 +23

real attention is rare enough now that when someone actually listens, it stands out way more than anything surface-level

23

unratec Apr 1, 2026 +6

Being comfortable with yourself without trying to impress anyone.

6

lisagg9 Apr 1, 2026 +41

I can’t count how many times the convo goes “..?“ “yes” “nice”. Literally 90% of ppl brain is blank and can’t think of anything to say other than basic Y/N and nice/awesome.

41

KoksundNutten Apr 1, 2026 +11

That's my default interaction for beeing kind despite not having the slightest interest in someones carpet color and if it matches the waste container in their kitchen.

11

xxTheseGoTo11xx Apr 1, 2026 +26

I started doing this years ago and it’s made a massive difference. At first I had to force it occasionally because I knew it was important to get better at, but I found I grew to genuinely care about people more over time. You can see it just makes people feel so much better to have someone finally want to hear their thoughts.

26

0b4rbie Apr 1, 2026 +199

banter. just the best thing you can master. can elevate anyone’s charm

199

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +11

yes girl

11

Melodic_Change_2075 Apr 1, 2026 +2

What do you mean exactly when you say banter? In your opinion? I’m interested in what you have to say!! :)

2

0b4rbie Apr 1, 2026 +50

like when someone can hold a real back-and-forth convo. quick wit, good comebacks, talking to them feels like a game of ping pong. it just flows naturally. love that

50

tbot888 Apr 1, 2026 +598

A sense of calm and oneness with the world. I wouldn’t call it confidence. Just a lack of anxiety and bad thoughts. Maybe kindness. Kindness is of course awesome. And just being in good health.

598

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +42

good health its always important

42

tbot888 Apr 1, 2026 +26

Yep I think people don’t realise when they get in good health how attractive they get. Although I think you certainly feel that way. Fit bods are hot bods no matter what shape they are.

26

FezaCummerb Apr 1, 2026 +27

The way some people just exist without judging others makes them instantly magnetic.

27

sezenio Apr 1, 2026 +6

Grounded?

6

ShoddyInitiative2637 Apr 1, 2026 +9

I feel one with the world, but not with the batshit insane society humans built on top of it.

9

Alarming-Morning-699 Apr 1, 2026 +379

not trying too hard to impress anyone, just being natural

379

Ok-Explorer-7642 Apr 1, 2026 +84

That’s a mixed bag. You attract the people who like your vibe, but turn off others who don’t. The trick is whether you care.

84

LoquaciousLamp Apr 1, 2026 +25

I don't think many people like those who come across as trying too hard or desperate unless they want to use you for something.

25

Overv Apr 1, 2026 +12

If you're putting effort into attracting people who don't like your vibe, you're just setting up both yourself and the other person for disappointment in the (near) future. It's really not worth the effort unless you are trying to gain something in the short term.

12

FreshApricot6280 Apr 1, 2026 +3

How is that a mixed bag? Being surrounded by people who like you for who you are and not having any people around who don't sounds perfect.

3

Daeral_Blackheart Apr 1, 2026 +1

I could be wrong but I kinda get this vibe whenever I look at the bumble sublistnook. I'm a dude and I see guys that look so interesting with long hair and into music and all that... And the top comments will be "cut your hair" I feel like all the advice I've seen on that sublistnook is to remove individuality and come as close as possible to some socially accepted, boring standard that I personally find so lame. But the advice probably works. I guess what I'm trying to say is, while you might find your tribe, you might also inadvertently distance yourself from many others, at least some of whom you might not want to distance yourself from. Mixed bad, fr, according to me.

1

GeistMD Apr 1, 2026 +268

Being genuinely nice to people.

268

ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +105

I’m genuinely a nice person and all it’s done is make the women around me assume I’m gay. Literally. I don’t take offence to that at all, but when I finally asked “What was it that made you think that” and the answer was, after a brief moment, “Because you’re just, nice?” I dunno what’s up with the world where if a guy is nice and friendly he must be gay, and if he’s an a****** he’s obviously straight.

105

Advanced_Register675 Apr 1, 2026 +76

Isn’t it sad that heterosexual men have spoiled things to such an extent that we assume a man that is kind can’t be interested in women? My friend has the same issue but he’s just a very thoughtful person and good listener.

76

ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +27

It really is. And from the stories I hear, a lot of other straight guys just seem to be complete dickheads to their partners or to women in general. I’m 29 and divorced. Maybe that also feeds the gay assumptions, but my divorce was a very typical breakup. We had some great years, but eventually we grew apart and it came to its natural and very sad conclusion. But I guess it’s because I just treat all girls and women with respect. I treat them as human beings, and that is obviously a very uncommon thing in these fucked up days. And to be honest, I don’t care if they assume I’m not straight, it won’t *ever* turn me into a misogynist piece of shit.

27

Skyflower6421 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Agreed. It's funny you mention this because there was this regular customer that i would help all the time and small talk with. He was very kind and friendly towards me. Always thought he was very handsome and always looked so classy. That whole time I thought he was gay, but it was mostly because of how friendly and kind he was to me. In my experiences gay guys were usually always the nicest to me so i just assumed. Later found out i was completely wrong when he asked for my number. Lol.

2

ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +1

That’s another thing, because I tend to look after my appearance and generally care about how I look. Especially since me and my ex-wife split up. Look good, feel good and all that. Curious question, when he asked for your number though, did you give him it?

1

Skyflower6421 Apr 1, 2026 +3

I did. We did date briefly but then he had return back to his home country. We're still friends and keep in contact on socials.

3

Kittii_Kat Apr 1, 2026 +2

People often assume I'm gay. I'm silly, a little effeminate (not muscular at all, it's genetic. 100% "sleeper build" for me.. 🥲), and incredibly nice and understanding. (Less so online when dealing with complete jackoffs) It's all genuine. Just who I am. Even my mom thought I was gay.. when I had a girlfriend. Thanks, mom. 🙃

2

Die_Not_Trying Apr 1, 2026 +2

Dude I deal with this too. Had a barber I was going to for a while one time say it seems like I’m very respectful to women, which I agreed with and said it’s probably because I was raised by a single mom. By the next visit they started insinuating I was gay, and in a really inappropriate way. Absolutely wild that to some people treating women with respect and kindness = license to attack your sexual orientation.

2

Woodit Apr 1, 2026 -10

Nice is a really poorly defined word. They probably mean you’re a people pleasing pushover Edit: worded this too aggressively

-10

ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +8

Someone piss in your cornflakes this morning?

8

Woodit Apr 1, 2026 +1

Most women don’t see most nice men as gay so thats probably what’s going on

1

ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +3

Sorry, let me get this straight. Being generally friendly and NOT a general a****** makes you a people pleaser? Because that’s a broad term aswell.

3

Woodit Apr 1, 2026 +4

There’s something in your demeanor that they’re seeing as not typically masculine. I’m not sure what it is, but since you describe yourself as nice and people pleasing is a common issue for nice people that was my guess. Could be lots of things. I’m nice and respectful to everyone, have good etiquette and personal style and all that, and nobody has ever assumed I’m gay (or told me they assumed that anyway)

4

ConnorK12 Apr 1, 2026 +5

I guess you may have a point. But it’s just the way I am, I can’t explain it any other way, nor do I feel I have to really. At no point has it ever made me think “Huh, maybe I should try being more manly or stern” and I’m not even feminine, I just talk to them, have normal conversations and ask them about themselves. I also have ADHD so I can be quite the talker. I just find it kinda endearing and rather sad from the women’s perspective. Not about me personally, but just that they believe a guy is gay purely because he is friendly and caring. That’s a big red flag about shit these days.

5

Ok-Explorer-7642 Apr 1, 2026 +6

Nice without making it a transaction. Nice from a place of strength.

6

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026

thats always attractive

0

Ok_Palpitation1289 Apr 1, 2026 +140

Humor

140

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +12

and vibes

12

CamelZealousideal330 Apr 1, 2026 +85

Being able to laugh at themselves

85

Realistic-Bag-2402 Apr 1, 2026 +3

I agree

3

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +4

i know what u mean

4

CamelZealousideal330 Apr 1, 2026 +4

Haha

4

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +3

hehe

3

Choice_External_6773 Apr 1, 2026 +82

having passions or interests u actually care about

82

Serpentaee Apr 1, 2026 +34

A nice sense of humor👌

34

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +2

i agree

2

Alive-Decision4659 Apr 1, 2026 +27

taking care of small hygiene details, that hits mostly for ppl especially when his pleasing or beautiful and also good on hygiene

27

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +3

thats is always very important

3

Bedroom1Doom Apr 1, 2026 +44

Just being yourself. When people stop trying to impress and just act naturally, it comes across as confident, genuine, and more attractive.

44

Ok-Explorer-7642 Apr 1, 2026 +14

Depends on what you look like when you’re being yourself. People put on masks because their real form can be a hot mess. Like if “being myself” meant like debating you in every social interaction, because that’s naturally what moves me. That’s not attractive. I think some balance is in order. Don’t be fake, but work on yourself, especially if “yourself” is the Jim Carrey character from Dumb and Dumber.

14

hfzelman Apr 1, 2026 +5

100%. It’s kind of similar to how people say confidence is attractive, but if that were the case then people with autism would be irresistible but obviously on average that just isn’t the case.

5

Ok-Explorer-7642 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Rigggghhht? Just be yourself! Ok then, let’s go on a date and I’ll talk about myself the whole time and lick my fingers when I eat, because being myself is really attractive, always.

2

Any_Cake2411 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being confident is not a trait of autism lmao tf

1

TheUnderCrab Apr 1, 2026 +101

Shower, shave, deodorant, brush teeth, wipe ass. Basic hygiene is woefully lacking in male circles.

101

RelativeMundane9045 Apr 1, 2026 +6

Wipe ass needs an addendum to include thorough washing in the shower.

6

TheUnderCrab Apr 1, 2026 +5

I thought that was implied by showering but yeah, actually clean oneself. The number of men I know that don’t wash their legs or feet because “the soap runs down my legs” is off the f****** rails

5

RelativeMundane9045 Apr 1, 2026 +4

I mean you're totally right, it should absolutely be intuitive. I was just specifically adding "actually clean your a******" for those who may have been in the category you mentioned.

4

TheUnderCrab Apr 1, 2026 +2

There are far too many men that think it’s gay to touch their butthole while showering. I don’t get it.

2

RelativeMundane9045 Apr 1, 2026 +4

Afraid it's like an activation button lol

4

Last_Repair8741 Apr 1, 2026 +39

underside smile

39

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +4

thats like a smirk

4

mhaus1112 Apr 1, 2026 +18

I think honesty, eye contact, and body language that shows the person I am paying attention and that I care about what they say (i.e. showing affirmations and validation). Whenever I speak with someone, I make sure I am all ears, facing them, smiling, asking follow up questions, making eye contact. I want to always make sure whoever I speak to knows that I am listening and want to listen.

18

Civil_Meaning_2910 Apr 1, 2026 +16

a relaxed smile instead of forcing one

16

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +1

yess

1

Fabulous-Drawing1169 Apr 1, 2026 +28

Intelligence

28

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +7

sapiosexual

7

CapitalListen6749 Apr 1, 2026 +11

Being genuinely curious about *other people*. Not just nodding along, but actually listening and asking questions. Somehow, that’s way hotter than a six-pack.

11

lisagg9 Apr 1, 2026 +11

Rebelliousness & non conformity. Not rude, just authentically, critically and independently existing. Could be as simple as pointing out when your own circle are doing wrong, being courageous when accountability needs to be taken, or taking actions when everybody is being indifferent /hesitant.

11

Worth-Guest-5370 Apr 1, 2026 +9

Intelligence, experience (=wisdom), humor, respect, empathy, STRENGTH, tempered by humility.

9

Winter_Swan5104 Apr 1, 2026 +8

That doesn’t spell Dennis.

8

masegesege_ Apr 1, 2026 +10

Having stuff to work on - side business, a band, DIY projects, artwork. It gives off a sort of “aura” around you that shows you’re capable of committing to things, and that you’ve got ideas that go a bit deeper than surface level.

10

blonde_buckeye Apr 1, 2026 +10

Having a smile, towards everyone they see. Just an overall positive, welcoming, inviting expression on their face, creating an approachable & engaging sense of comfort to all.

10

ggx222 Apr 1, 2026 +5

These type of people would always help me get out of my shyness shell at social gatherings, it really elevated my sense of comfort and belonging

5

blonde_buckeye Apr 1, 2026 +3

Same! And later in my life- I'm the one that's transformed into that exact type of welcoming spirit to all. It absolutely warms ny heart & soul to be able to bring others out of their shell, once they realize they're in a relaxing environment.

3

Alarming-Head-1059 Apr 1, 2026 +7

People who talk when they have something to say instead of talking just to hear their own voice

7

Spare_Border_2211 Apr 1, 2026 +16

Just by being honest

16

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +1

yess

1

Spare_Border_2211 Apr 1, 2026 +1

There ain't no such people left

1

ravebears Apr 1, 2026 +7

Being collected, responding calmly and without judgement, confident in demeanor and action.

7

AnaBanana84 Apr 1, 2026 +6

Being decisive. Someone who can say "here's what I'd like to do this weekend," or "here's what we're having for dinner," or "I already got the tickets. Be ready at 7." >>> "I dunno. Whatever you want to do."

6

KiwiFisher1 Apr 1, 2026 +6

Being genuinely obsessed with something. Doesn't matter what — woodworking, space, vintage cars, whatever. When someone talks about their thing and their whole face lights up, that's insanely attractive. Way more than trying to seem cool and detached about everything.

6

marcelmax1 Apr 1, 2026 +4

Being genuinely curious. Asking "how" or "why" instead of just waiting for your turn to talk makes people feel seen and importan

4

Sweaty_Delivery7004 Apr 1, 2026 +5

Being kind to and advocating for animals ❤️

5

iDemorse Apr 1, 2026 +8

Kimdness

8

anid98 Apr 1, 2026 +3

Authenticity and vulnerability

3

rasendori97 Apr 1, 2026 +3

Smiling eyes and wrinkles

3

Physical_Parfait_964 Apr 1, 2026 +3

Kindness towards animals and children

3

exibarelyalive Apr 1, 2026 +2

Talking slowly and clearly

2

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +1

it depends

1

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +1

it depends

1

Crazily_optimistic Apr 1, 2026 +2

Observant

2

CelebrationFar2804 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Doing even the smallest acts of kindness.

2

nossbook Apr 1, 2026 +2

Pheromones

2

CaptainCrookKingler Apr 1, 2026 +2

Being anti-shame. If you enjoy your body and flaunt it and want to inspire others to do the same, that's so much more attractive than anyone who promotes body shame.

2

Reasonable_Chart1424 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Genuine laugh

2

Jamisonwentwrthethrd Apr 1, 2026 +2

When they can laugh at themselves

2

Swimming_Emphasis_83 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Being patient and having a good sense of humor

2

Lulu-vargas Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being natural is the most beautiful thing.

1

Aggressive-Gas6353 Apr 1, 2026 +3

natural kindness without trying too hard it stands out way more than looks

3

thejayner Apr 1, 2026 +3

Being humble

3

Grand_Fail8980 Apr 1, 2026 +1

But not submissive

1

Grouchy-Reflection97 Apr 1, 2026 +4

A dog. You could look like a creature borne of a Lovecraftian hellscape, but if you've got a good boy/girl trotting alongside you, you're hot.

4

Solid_Olive1203 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Being themselves

2

andragoddess Apr 1, 2026 +3

nowdays difficult

3

Solid_Olive1203 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Yup

1

Complex-Arugula-2233 Apr 1, 2026 +2

Smelling nice, smiling, being gentle and understanding humor

2

SuburbanSass Apr 1, 2026 +2

Confidence

2

MissMinxyM Apr 1, 2026 +1

Authenticity and Kindness

1

MenWellnessAdvice Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being genuinely comfortable with themselves. Not trying too hard or seeking approval, that confidence is way more noticeable than looks.

1

M4dMil0 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Vibing

1

Aromatic-Resource329 Apr 1, 2026 +1

A witty sense of humor and confidence,

1

Accomplished-Run221 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Kindness.

1

californiaboy323 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Hair style based on your facial structure!

1

Stunning_Shirt8530 Apr 1, 2026 +1

genuine enthusiasm about things. like when someone's eyes light up talking about their weird hobby or whatever they're into. that's way more attractive than trying to seem cool

1

mycro_dose Apr 1, 2026 +1

when they genuinely care about you and your inner child 🤌🏾🥹

1

PleasantBeat8888 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Kindness, remembering people’s names and small details about them, such as your name is Ben and you like mangoes and Architectural Design Features in Cityscapes!

1

CarlJustCarl Apr 1, 2026 +1

When women put that pony tail through the baseball hat hole thing. Am I right, fellas?

1

Creative_Spread4604 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Intelligence

1

Every_Distance_8649 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Attentiveness not just with you but also to your surroundings

1

Agreeable_Mark_3685 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Consistency

1

HowdyDeux Apr 1, 2026 +1

Flawed teeth! Veneers look like dentures.

1

notSanii Apr 1, 2026 +1

Confidence. You don’t have to look like a model to carry yourself with confidence. I’ve been with men who are very insecure, and it makes them less attractive for some reason. If the same men knew how to leverage what they’ve got, they’d go up a couple points. Just don’t cross the line into arrogance.

1

Most-Contribution545 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Not caring what others think of them, everyone is attractive in their own ways stop basing it off society

1

Unlikely_Drama_5872 Apr 1, 2026 +1

speak slower than they geberally do

1

pyw123 Apr 1, 2026 +1

being good on what they like

1

Wide_Astronaut_2784 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Nonconformist in an earnest way.

1

Substantial_Taro_674 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being a home body

1

East_Ad_800 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Pets, someone who genuinely loves their pets always comes off more as sincere and trustable.

1

Loud_Account_3469 Apr 1, 2026 +1

When people are observant enough to know when something needs done.Then not making a big deal out of it when they do.

1

Casjrealtor Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being a good listener and having good posture.

1

PuffyThorn Apr 1, 2026 +1

Genuine curiosity about other people asking follow up questions, remembering small details they’ve shared and actually listening to the answers instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.

1

sweaty_swampass Apr 1, 2026 +1

Niche but Birkenstocks with wool socks in winter gets me fired up

1

Gratefulheart1am Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being at peace in their heart.

1

whenabouts Apr 1, 2026 +1

Smiling!!

1

griseldank Apr 1, 2026 +1

Having hobbies it’s very interesting what people can do You can go from gardening to colouring to crocheting it’s so cool🤩

1

DotSuspicious6098 Apr 1, 2026 +1

the b****. in old playboys, women are constantly surprised they have them

1

No_Sprinkles4972 Apr 1, 2026 +1

flaws

1

kmcaulifflower Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being able to adapt to basic preferences without getting butthurt "I don't like when you touch me like that" "Oh okay I'm sorry I gotchu" Vs "Oh so you think I'm unattractive and you hate me" People who can take basic criticism without losing their shit are so attractive

1

ImprovementFar5054 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Being easily amused.

1

nothinglefttolose001 Apr 1, 2026 +1

When something embarrassing someone and other people laugh, the one who doesn’t laugh and try to normalize the situation is very attractive

1

Tall-Shoulder-6297 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Their attitude

1

Icy-Firefighter4462 Apr 1, 2026 +1

Kindness

1

weedboobz Apr 1, 2026

Taking calculated risks

0

Panos55 Apr 1, 2026 -1

Being physically attractive

-1

Time_Gear_7858 Apr 1, 2026

Cussing

0

lunatemptress6 Apr 1, 2026

genuine smile

0

What’s something people don’t realize makes them more attractive?

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