What's the craziest thing a person said to you and you thought they were joking but they were being serious?

Damn, a lot of these are pretty dark. My first thought was just the time when a coworker ran up to me in the hall and said, "hey, you wanna see a live baby possum?" and I obviously said yeah, and then she did indeed show me a live baby possum sleeping in her sweater pocket. 

I used to sell cars. I had a guest who we got as far as the pencil and saw the price and said “I don’t believe in taxes. Can you take them off?” I laughed and thought it was a joke. But they were very serious and didn’t think it was at all funny. Myself and my manager had to explain that we’re legally required to collect sales tax and couldn’t just “take it off.” They ended up deciding not to buy.

My coworker told me he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs… because ‘no one was there to see them.’ He believes in dragons though, because ‘every culture has them.’

Stepped into an art gallery to escape the pouring rain in Montreal. The gallerist looked up to greet me (us, I was with a boyfriend at the time) and reacted as if I was a ghost. He literally burst into tears and explained I looked exactly like the love of his life who’d been killed in a traffic accident 30 years ago…. I was freshly 30. This man was so rattled that I couldn’t help but believe him. She’d been on a bike when hit by a truck. I hugged him, he was lovely. He gave me an umbrella, after a time, and we left. I think of him often.

A couple of months ago I was coming back home from work and there was a massive traffic jam, which is not uncommon. On the exit from the highway cars were in a standstill as far as the eye could see. I was on a bike so I started weaving through them and I pass a car and it starts honking erratically and trying to move to the front. I didn't think much of it, either some a****** thinking his time is more important than ours or an emergency. Can't know so I don't make assumptions. But I look back and I realise that the guy is honking and yelling at me specifically. Before I can even understand what he's saying a guy jumps out of the passenger seat, with his arm wrapped in his shirt with blood everywhere, clearly in work clothes from construction or something simillar, and he tells me that his hand has literally been cut off and he needs to get to the hospital fast and the car's stuck in traffic so he wanted me to give him a ride. I was honestly in shock but I let him on and blasted off to the hospital. I even saw a cop on the way and gave him the quick rundown, hoping he'd go up front and open the way but the cop didn't care that much he just said "just go, run a red if you have to". Well I did get him to the hospital and I did run a couple of red lights, after checking of course. Didn't even get his name or learn what happened afterwards. I hope he got to keep his hand.

Worked with this woman who was super messy, but really sweet and fun to work with she found out her husband was cheating on her and said that she “was going to Light his motherfucking truck on fire like Angela Bassett in waiting to exhale.” We all laughed not thinking she was actually serious and was just saying that in the heat at the moment. Well……. I wake up the next day to a text from her sister saying that she got arrested for lighting his truck on fire and she loaded it up with all of his belongings before she did it. She had zero regrets.

In the early 70's I picked up a hitchhiker who told me he was just hired at Walpole Prison and he was going to murder the Boston Strangler. I stranded him at a gas station. A couple years later, the Boston Stangler was mudered. The inmate accused of the murder was not convicted. Go figure, eh? 

I have a relative who lives in Texas. He told me all the people in Utah are robots. I'm thinking metaphorical robots who march into work, wear white shirts, etc. Nope. He meant literal robots.

"Hi, I just crashed my plane across the street. Can I use your phone?"

My sister went to prison briefly for using drugs. While she was there, she told me she had become friends with a murderer. I thought she was joking to amuse her younger sibling, me. I asked her about it when we were a bit older and she was free, and she got all serious. Apparently her boyfriend had been sexually abusing her daughter, and when she found out, she killed her boyfriend, turned herself in to the police and said quite plainly she'd killed her boyfriend, his body was in her car, and she doesnt regret it at all but also recognises its illegal and is ready to be arrested. My sister always described her as a lovely, calm and supportive person. I'd always been interested in meeting someone who was capable of that sort of violence but from all descriptions my sister gave was such a warm soul. Motherhood is a powerful thing

I asked where the maternity section was in a dept store... they said it was SEASONAL. Like its f****** calving season. Smfh.

When my sister's partner looked to me after talking about some space science stuff and said: "You don't believe in NASA do you?" And than I proceeded to have the wildest conversation of my life where I learned he's a flat-earther and began explaining the whole thing to me, from go pros and plane windows make the horizon look curved to Antartica is actually an ice wall, and doesn't exist, to the map the UN uses in their logo is the real map of earth. I was blown away and could not believe I had a 3 hour conversation with a real person about the earth being flat. Edit: want to be clear. I am NOT a flat earther. I am not sure if i made that clear or not. I am a very science-loving person who couldn't believe my smart sister was with a flat earther. It just blew my mind.

> A plane went into the World Trade Center. Thought the guy was talking about a video game until we turned on the news in class.

This one is more so kinda weird but wholesome, but a stranger came up to me at an old job and asked me to close my eyes and put my hand out….yeah, odd, but ok sure why the hell not. He put a marble colored like the world in my hand, and when I opened my eyes and looked at him like ?? He said “the world is in the palm of your hand”. Again odd, but I kinda loved it haha. Still have that marble and think about that interaction somewhat often. 

My husband when he told me he wanted a divorce. Totally thought he was joking. I went to visit my family with the kids and the night I returned he said that. Weird thing is, his family was over and he did it in front of everyone. So surreal, I just didn't believe it.

Co worker firmly believes Hitler would’ve cured cancer. They also told me they watch holocaust documentaries for laughs. He’s a f****** shitheel edgelord so I thought he was being “edgy”. Nope. I f****** hated him before, and I realized I can still hate him even more.

When I was as working at a library someone asked if we still carried books. I thought they were joking, particularly because they had to pass multiple tables full of books to reach the desk and you could literally see almost all of our shelves from the front desk with the building's lay out, but they were dead serious. They thought everything were just blank display pieces and that we didn't actually carry books anymore.

I was catching up with an ex I hadn't seen in a while, and without any provocation, she said, "Michelle Obama was born a biological man, and her children were adopted." I wrapped up that conversation as quickly as possible and skedaddled on down the road.

When I was 18, me and my friends were practicing for a rap show with the guy who would be DJing (he was like 22). While we were taking a break, he casually mentioned that he was texting a 14 year old. We all were like “wtf” and he just laughed and said “the older you get, the younger you want them, you’ll see”. I did not see.

Bus in Oakland around 08, lady kept saying “ya ride or ya die” turned around to me for no reason and went “aye did you know I know your mom (generic name that happened to be my moms) and she’s a fat fuckin c***. My names (name) nice to meet you b****” then extended her hand which had a rabbits foot on a chain hanging from her two middle fingers I just said cool foot and she said thanks and went back to her ride or die chant. Saw her about a month later on BART and she recognized me, said AYE YOU LIKED MY FOOT!! Pointing directly at me and left to the next train car lol, b**** was weird but she had a good memory 😂

When I was 19 I worked retail and my boss Fred was, maybe, 26 years old, max. I came into work one day and said “hey Fred, I’m here. Clocked in. I’m not feeling great as a heads up, having a stomach bug. I’m going to try and tough it out because I need the cash and I know we’re short staffed. Just giving you a heads up.” Fred: “I went to the hospital in an ambulance last night, I had a heart attack. Had surgery this morning. I’m here on time and working all day.” I laughed thinking it was some kind of blatantly obvious joke. He looked at me with a stone cold expression then just walked out of the room. A senior sales guy, Doug, just turned to me and said “full of shit. That’s the sixth heart attack he’s had this year.” Then one time in middle school a kid said his dad was a famous baseball player and gave his name. Even though he had the same last name as the player and it was somewhat uncommon, I didn’t really believe him. This kid was scrawny, didn’t really appear to be an athlete at all. Found out he was telling the truth a couple months later when he was on my little league team and his dad showed up at our first practice. Kid was a crazy good shortstop.

When I was in High School, a homeless man got on the city bus, sat across from me then proceeded to slap my leg and ask me enthusiastically "What's it like to be a vampire?!" lol I think I responded with "I could bite you and you can find out for yourself?" he kinda leaned away from me. The bus driver saw this and kicked him off the bus. He stood up, started screeching like a pterodactyl and ran out the back doors, off the bus into the dark lmfao! It was an interesting interaction lol!!!!!

I helped with AV (and therefore frequently low-level tech related to the users in those rooms) at a large office in the city. I was called to a training style room with tiered rows and iMac's built into each station. There was a mid-40's or 50's professionally dressed lady who called me over in the middle of the presentation, pointed to her screen and said she wanted to "move that, to that".... I was confused so said "Are you talking about the file on the screen? You want to move that file into that folder?" and she said NO, "the thing, move that thing to there." There was a long pause as I tried to compute what she was asking, solid 20 seconds and I realized.... "Are you..... wanting to move the mouse pointer to click on and open that file?" There was a long pause, and I reached across her and picked up the mouse that was by her right hand, and patiently said "Well if you hold this mouse with your hand, you can move it to control the curser and..." and she said "I KNOW HOW TO USE A MOUSE" and then adjusted her body language away from me, clearly communicating I'd been 'dismissed'. This was in 2017.

Ex Satanist turned nondenominational Christian. Claimed to have a tattoo all over his back of demons raping angels, that after he converted to Christianity it vanished overnight. Utter bollocks.

My colleague said he wanted to quit his job and travel around the country for a year in an RV-type vehicle with his wife and four daughters, one of whom is a toddler, the others all being under 10. He didn't have the savings for it so he said they would "trade favors" with people along the way for money or food. I thought it was just a "distant dream"-type fantasy we were discussing but he actually quit his job last week to do it. I truly pity his kids. They should be in school having normal lives, but instead they're going to be dragged around away from home for a year, probably being filmed for social media clout on the daily.

A woman stranger approached me in a supermarket, pointed to her temple and very seriously said, “Think about this - there’s an IF in life!” and then walked away. 

That they don’t clean up their cat puke. They always let their dog eat it, and when the dog got too old and blind and deaf to hear the cats puke, they’d lead the dog to the pile so it would eat it.

I went on a date with a guy who genuinely believed that all influential people are actually lizards. He had mentioned it when we were texting before the date and i thought he was joking. I mean, I'm familiar with the conspiracy but its so f****** dumb i didbt think anyone could actually believe it.  Yeah i was caught off guard when it turned out he wasnt being sarcastic and actually believed all that garbage.

I had a coworker tell me she thought she was being scammed. I asked her to tell me about it. She said she met someone on Facebook and they were flirting a bit and that she needed to download an app to continue talking. She then proceeded to tell me about how they asked her to download another app and now he’s acting all weird asking about all her personal information… I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told her she should have know it was a scam when they asked you to download an app, and in that moment I understood why scammers continue to send those messages and phone calls. People really are that stupid.

When I was child/pre teen, my mother closed her eyes, and when she opened them and looked at me, said “why are you still alive? You should be dead by now”.

“I gave that cracka some lead.” My father who was later arrested for homicide. He killed an innocent shopkeeper who most definitely did NOT deserve being robbed and shot. He was a very kind man and always very sweet to our family. My father is still in prison.

"Hey dude, can I borrow your car?" "When? Can't I just drive you?" "I mean, it's gonna be for a few months. I need to drive to (place that is an hour away) for this job I want." I guess he forgot that I have responsibilities, like work

A guy I was dating told me that there was no explanation for the Grand Canyon because aliens dug it. When I laughed and said "Well, the Colorado River had something to do with it.", he said "No way, have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? The river is tiny." I said "Must have been aliens"

"'Round here, we just call it Monday." He was referring to Martin Luther King day. I had only been in Florida for a couple of months by that time.

“I’ve been dead for thousands of years, I’ve been dead with hookers.” And his LSD brain opened the minivan door when we were rollin slow thru the neighborhood and he jumped out at about 10mph and that was that. Never saw him again on the regular… but he didn’t hurt himself jumping out. It was an honest and expressive gesture I respect. And I quote him all the time.

This dude that worked with me in construction. He prayed with a guy with no hand and then the guy grew his hand back. He looked at me dead serious. It took me a second but all I could say was "What? Is the guy a fuckin' Starfish?!" I heard the Electrician in the other room bust out laughing.

I'm sitting in a beachside Cafe in Kerala India with some friends drinking. Waiter comes up and says "want to hear something crazy? Ok we say..."someone has just crashed two jet airliners into the WTC 1&2 in New York"

An acquaintance told me she totaled her car because her husband had rigged a remote control device to make it crash. Turns out she was serious. I asked if she was on drugs and she swore she wasn’t, then listed the three prescription narcotics she was taking. It went downhill from there. She’s been blocked by everyone we know, and last we heard she was in jail for beating a roommate with a guitar and driving drunk.

I work at a pizza place. Customer comes in to pay for his order. We pull it up and my manager notices another order on the list, one we already fulfilled, and says to me “oh damn! Those guys didn’t pay for their pizza!” (It was actually our mistake) Customer in front of us says “so they stole it?” We explain the misshapen. He then says “I got my shotgun in my truck, maybe I can go tech them a lesson for you!” We explained to him that it was a mistake. He then gives us a lengthy definition on what stealing is, and reiterates that he has his shotgun to deal with them… He warned me not to touch the receipt paper before he left. It will give you cancer I guess. And also leave traces in your skin that signal aliens to abduct you.

Was taking blood from a patient. Very pleasant middle-aged man, telling me about his work (skilled craftsman). Once I’d finished taking blood the safety mechanism on the needle failed and I stuck myself with the needle I’d just used to bleed him. I told him it had happened and explained someone would need to come in and ask him some questions, take a couple extra samples as a result. He agreed. Then he said “With a bit of luck you’ve got some of my blood. I’ve figured out a cocktail that makes me immortal, so maybe you’re now immortal as well from my blood”

"If you keep wearing clothes with cats hair on it, people will think you're a drug addict." Tbh I knew she wasn't joking, she's been priming me for "being an addict" ever since I can remember because my grandpa, who died so early I barely remember him, drank beer. No idea how much since he's dead. But this has confused the f*** out of me since. This was from my mother. And I rescue animals so hair is a frequent decoration on my clothing (she does not respect my passion for rescue as I'm not helping people so it "doesn't count." Imo, people are the reason for 99.99% of animal suffering and have plenty of help available). I have no explanation for the rest. Do addicts collect cats? Is that a thing that I don't know about? If it is, why does my 70+yo mother know and not me? I have so many questions.

I've had plenty of interactions, I must attract the crazy, but the one that stood out is this woman who came up to me, apparently a friend of a friend because she straight up asked my name and if I was truly studying psychology (I was at the time), and when I said yes she proceeded to ask whether she was insane because she loved to do it with her dog. I stood there in stunned silence, thinking this was a joke my friends must have been pulling on me or something, but then this disgusting woman proceeded to tell me, in no small detail, all about their 'sex life'. I checked later on and yes, she had a dog as described, and my friends were stunned too when I told them. I called animal protection services.

I once met a guy on the train once who randomly told me he hadn't pooped for 3 days. I found out a week later his face in the obituary section of our local newspaper.

We're here today beacause ***** got drunk and shot up Burger king.

A girl told me she didnt believe in adoption. Not didnt agree with. Believe in. Im adopted, proof in the convo! Whats not to believe in?!

I used to lead a fitness group and had a lady tell me she couldn’t work out with me anymore because she was allergic to exercise…it was making her face all red and she was sweaty and breathing hard. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She was not.

When i was in grade school I gave my step grandma a flower... She said I wont thank you bc then it will just die .she turned and walked away Not crazy but heart breaking at a young age

Where do I start... 1. When I was in college, a guy who lived on my floor was convinced that the USSR was going to invade the US and therefore, to help, he learned Russian and joined the NRA to learn how to shoot guns. He was seriously disappointed when USSR fell apart. 2. Same college, I knew a girl named Agatha who was called "Saint Agatha" by everyone because she was not only not intimate with anyone, she felt that anything beyond shaking hands was going to send her to hell. After she graduated from college and moved to Florida, she fell in with a group of swingers and had sex with hundreds of men and women in course of a year. 3. A few years back, a colleague kept telling me how Obama had crashed the US stock market. When I showed him the numbers from Yahoo finance app on my phone, he claimed that Yahoo was run by liberals and they were manipulating the data to show Obama in positive light.

Back in the day, I saw a guy open in a local punk show. His whole shtick was rapping over a boombox tape mix about how much he hated Gene Hackman. "Gene Hackman's a hack, man. I'm gonna Hack that Man to pieces, etc." At the after party, I quickly realized that it wasn't a genius bit of performance art, but just a mentally unstable guy.

My dad asked me to have sex with him. Haven't spoken to him since. Very disturbing.

Was waiting at a plumbing supply store when a man walked in and started talking to me. He began telling me that him and his wife went to a funeral over the weekend of a 28 years old mother who just up and died from super cancer because she took the covid Vaccine. I assumed it was joke only because who starts a conversation like that? I was wrong in my assumptions unfortunately. Maybe introduce yourself or talk about the weather?

I knew a guy in college that once (long.... LONG story) asked me to help him rob his drug dealer I thought it was a joke, laughed it off, and distanced myself from the guy Years later, I found out he had convinced the brother of a mutual friend to go along with his plan, the drug dealer killed the brother, and the guy I knew is in prison for life

I simply could not believe the Facebook medical advice during COVID.

A couple months ago, I was sitting at the bar enjoying my shift drink, and this real cop-lookin dude walks in and sits next to me. Over the course of our very bizarre conversation, he said that all world governments are secretly controlled by a cabal of 7 families, and also that he was in a militia.

My ex wife put fish sticks in one of her exs curtains fold. The smell got so bad he had to move out. Lost his entire deposit. I thought she was making it up, but her sister confirmed. Same woman also asked me if “the moon was the biggest planet in the galaxy, because it’s so big”.

my college roommate told me he was technically a prince in some small country. laughed for like ten minutes. dude pulled out actual diplomatic documents. I'd been splitting rent with royalty and making him do dishes.

I was awoken in the middle of the night by huge, loud banging on my door. My then boyfriend at the time huddled with me to the door as we investigated, only to see my dad and uncle stumbling around in the front yard. I go out there to yell at them for scaring the c*** out of us until I jump back to see a large animal, way bigger than my dad or uncle, right next to them. It’s a donkey, a burro, not more than a few months old, now tied to the palm tree in front of my house. I ask what’s happening and my dad shushes me and tells me I need to watch it. I laughed at first, but when I saw the water bowl they brought along for it, I was confused of why I was babysitting a donkey, but my uncle begs me to take care of Butter, which I learn is the name of the donkey. I ask where they got a donkey drunk at three in the morning but my dad reiterates not to ask questions, and to take care of Butter. I protest but they leave, where it’s several hours until two girls knock on the door asks to remove Butter, and takes it away. I found out later that my uncle worked at some animal sanctuary, where Butter’s mom unfortunately passed away. They were going to send Butter to another state to be with other orphaned donkeys, but my uncle, being so in love with Butter, stole him with the intentions on hiding it at my house until they could get someone else to take it. Butter now lives on a farm where my uncle can visit him weekly, and I get to tell people I was unintentionally involved in donkey theft. Good times.

“How much would it take to kill you?” I laughed, they were actually asking. That was fun. 

I knew a guy who honestly told me (a woman) that women should never kick a guy in the crotch, even if the guy's trying to r*pe her. "it's disrespectful" he said. I verbally tore him a new one and I don't know him anymore.

At a dog park in LA few years ago. It was night time and there was just me and a guy with his puppy. My dog was like 2. The two dogs were playing and the guy walked to the middle of the park and my dog ran into his leg. He said "you should be more careful with your dog. He's dangerous." I laughed because I figured he must be joking about two puppies playing and running into him while he stood in the middle of the park looking at his phone. He started getting more and more irritated. He said I was "lying." I basically just said he was being ridiculous. He started recording me and saying I was denying that my dog hurt him. I think he was trying to scam me somehow but I told him he was a stupid a****** and we left the park. Very bizarre interaction. LA sucks.

The suns only a couple hunert miles away.

I don't believe in space

"Global warming isn't real because if you have ice in a glass of water and it melts, the water doesn't overflow"   

“I’m running for president.”

Got up to go to work on Sept. 11, 2001. Late, didn't turn on radio or TV. Walked to and waited 20-30 min for the bus to show up. Unusual. Board, weird that all the bus is grim, looking angry. Silence. Asked a fellow rider-acquaintnce, How's it goin'? He said, you haven't heard have you? WTC towers are destroyed.

I was working at a small powersports dealership and found out like half of the staff genuinely believed in flat earth shit 

A woman once told me hospitals were full of fake doctors but she wasn’t worried because she has magic crystals that will heal her dad’s cancer.

I had jury duty once and mentioned I was looking for a job and this other female perspective juror went on and on about how I should find a job at a slaughterhouse. This was in a non rural area with a high percentage of vegetarians and vegans. Also she looked like an average older suburban lady and she said she didn’t work in one but she heard they paid well. Also I was looking for something in graphic design, or maybe advertising. So uh thanks for the tip Barbara.

I work with kids so every day they say strange shit. The strangest kid was the girl who at 9~ years old told me she was a plague doctor in her past life. You know the ones with the ”bird-mask”? Anyway that wasn’t so strange but then she proceeded to tell me all about the masks. How it smelled in them from the fresh flowers and herbs. She mentioned picking purple flowers that smelled good to put in the mask (I know they put lavender in them?), she described the smell of the leather clothes and she vividly described the town she worked in in her past life. She ended the conversation with ”but I made a mistake. I took of my gloves and I got the plague. So I died”. She said all this with a very straight face but when she was finished telling me she smiled really big and said ”bye!!”, waved and ran away to play at the swings. For reference, we teach the kids about the plague in 5th grade when they’re 11/12. And we don’t tell them that much detail. Just what it was, how it came to Europe and that many people died.

I was interviewing someone for a VP position in our company... someone that would have reported to me in a field that is generally very well-represented by intelligent, educated women. With me were, in fact, two women (working in this field) and our GM. Normally I despise standard HR questions but, for fun, I asked the candidate the usual "what was one of your challenges... blah blah". The next thing I know, he's telling me about the time he had to "correct his wife" but "not too much" and "she always understands my point of view eventually". I'm sorry to say that after confirming with my team after the interview ... yeah, he was talking about physically correcting her. Candidate did not get the job.

An old coworker told me Obama was the antichrist. I thought she just didn't like him and was being hyperbolic. Nope, she was being completely literal about it.

A while back I was talking to this guy I barely knew and out of nowhere, he said he's saving up to buy a small island, so he can live there with my pet tiger. I literally laughed. I thought he was messing with me, like some kind of weird flex. He even pulled out his phone to show me a spreadsheet of tiger adoption costs and island listings.

I was once standing in line at the supermarket, when a woman very blatantly cut in line and stepped right in front of me. She then turned around, looked at me, and said, “Oh, you don’t have that many items. You can just go ahead of me.” - Oh wow thanks, you absolute psychopath.

I was telling someone that my now ex husband had cheated on me while he was in Iraq(Army) some random girl told me if I would’ve gave him more sex maybe he would’ve been more faithful. I told her that he was in Iraq. She turned bright red and walked away. Sharp as a marble, that one.

My friend once said to me he was so annoyed with the popular kids in class that he would kill them Then he went on, explaining the entire plan if he were to "theoretically" kill them. 6th grade was a fun time.

A coworker flat did not believe in the existence of atoms or molecules.