What’s the craziest time your intuition warned you about someone and turned out correct?

I’m so sorry you lived this reality and the toll it must have taken on your ability to trust your mother.

Keeping the peace in a family often comes at the cost of safety.

How’d your mom take that? Is she one of those moms that refuses to believe the damning evidence in front of her because she just can’t believe her baby boy would ever do something like that?

Jesus.

What does the acronym LC stand for? Also, glad you stocked with your gut feeling!

I wonder if something happened to him when you guys started feeling uncomfortable around him at 14. Not excusing him at all but usually evil begets evil, especially with kids so young and it sounds like he wasn’t showing those tendencies before 14. Just asking because it might help you guys and your mother understand, maybe? Edit: I’d like to clarify that I am not saying in any way that all children that are traumatized become abusers nor that children who have not been traumatized can’t be become abusers. All I was asking is if in this particular post if there was something OP could remember about his brother at 14 and what sounded to me like a sharp change of behavior. OP clarified in another post. Sociopathic behavior is a different issue

The eyes, Chico, they never lie!

Men will do anything to avoid going to therapy

In 2015, my then-line manager and I were allowed by our department director to interview contractors to assist us with project backlog and overflow. For reference, my line-manager was a graphic designer and I was/am in video/photo production. After a few interviews with folks that weren't a right fit, our staffing agency rep gave us the resume of a guy that checked all the boxes on paper. He interviewed well and he was hired as a contractor. The cracks showed themselves immediately in the first few weeks. The contractor had his own side media production business, which in theory was no biggie. HOWEVER, it turns out he was using company equipment and resources to focus primarily on his side projects than on the work he was actually hired to do. He was brazen enough to ask me questions about where to hire local props/cars/actors and even showed me what he was working on. As in, he opened his project in After Effects and it was very much NOT something he was supposed to be working on. There was a laundry list of other issues we had with him, including frequent tardiness/no-shows, regularly coming in hungover, a staggering level of arrogance, and just being a d*** in general. One night, out of sheer curiosity, I searched his profile in Facebook. While browsing, I noticed the staffing agency rep liked several of his posts; turns out they were friends outside of work. The staffing rep even worked on some of the contractor's projects. I told my boss the following day and we came to the conclusion that the staffing agency rep purposely fed us horrible candidates before offering up his buddy for the role. If hired, his buddy would then have access to a plethora of hardware and software that he'd have to otherwise rent or outright buy. We voiced our concerns over this and everything else to our director and his contract was thankfully terminated. If you're ever reading this: f*** you, Matt!

Intuition is just pattern recognition your brain has not converted into words yet. YES!

My boss hired someone to do tech support. They were supposed to take over aspects of my job that I didn't have time to do and receive some of the minor tasks. My boss is a Latino man, the new hire was a Latino man. I'm a British woman. I'm mentioning that not because I think my boss made some like for like hire or is like...racist or sexist or whatever. Far from it. I just think the match in their cultures and gender dynamics meant major red flags to me just didn't register for him. And he put them down to culture clashes and wanted to give a young immigrant - like he had been- the benefit of the doubt that it was honest mistakes. So. I go to train him. He gives me ....off vibes. I can't explain it. Just....if I met him in a pub or bar I'd leave, you know. Quickly becomes apparent he has no tech skills - I caught the man googling how to extend his monitors instead of replicate them. I bring this up. My boss is like well *I* don't know how to do that but I'm not stupid and I can do other tech stuff. True. So I let it go and carry on training him. I kept mostly quiet about the vibes. I couldnt put into tangible professional words why I thought this man was a grade A t***. I just knew he was. I did mention it off hand over lunch, like informally, but my boss was like oh it's a different culture, he doesn't speak English as a first language, communication can be tricky, I'm sure he doesn't mean it that way. You know how I can misspeak sometimes etc etc. And I'm like well...yeah... But I work with people from EVERYWHERE. Most of my co workers and those under me are ESL some of them no English at all. We have Indian, middle eastern, eastern european, south American and yes absolutely there has been some friction when different social norms meet. But like we're ALL real good at sussing out people's true intentions and whether they're being deliberately assholes or accidentally running foul of some unspoken etiquette or whatever they didn't know about. Still. All I got are vibes. This guy's hasn't actually done or said anything tangible at this point. Buuuut. Slowly but surely little comments start coming out as we're training. 'in my country women don't do this sort of work' 'oh your dad is in tech. Yeah that makes sense.' 'how did a woman end up doing this sort of thing?' My co worker, also a woman, told me he'd made comments about her as well. Questioning why she was in charge, not really doing what she asked. All the while he is just not doing any of the shit I'm trying to train him in and showing a real lack of ability. Then one of our supervisors (eastern european woman) mentions off hand oh yeah he called me fat and asked why a man wasn't running the place. And also that he wouldn't listen to her and would only take instructions from the other supervisor - a man. Later found out he'd been walking around telling the other men working there he'd be in charge of the place soon. It was madness that a women was running it and he'd obviously get promoted soon enough because. Man. So I took all that back to my boss and he was fired not long after. My boss felt awful. He was like he seemed so normal and okay when I interviewed him. I was like....well...yeah...you're a man. He expected you to be in a position of power and respected that. He honestly thought the first few things I brought up were just ESL problems. Miscommunication and a need to adjust to a different way of doing things. I told my boss I had this feeling there was something wrong with him almost immediately and he's like well why didn't you say something. But like.... How do you tell HR hey we need to fire this dude he's giving me bad ju-ju?? Anyway he just had me second interview everyone from then on 🤣

Pluralistic ignorance is a common phenomenon where people have an opinion that they think is in the minority, but in fact is in the majority if not plurality. But everyone thinks they’re in the minority, so no one says anything

Retired now but I was taught that the first person in an interview that decides the candidate isn’t a good fit can immediately end the interview (politely of course). No questions on why allowed. I used this for decades of interviews and taught my folks to do the same. There were a couple of times I was forced to override that rule to hire someone, and every single time it ended up being a horrible decision.

I had a similar situation. Perfect in paper and in the interview but the vibes were totally off. Turned out he could talk a good game but the job was way over his head. It took a year and a half and struggling through simple tasks for him to move on.

Not to say intuition should be ignored, but I really hope you didn’t start vibe rejecting candidates after that. Sometimes an initial bad vibe is just a false alarm. We also tend to forget more easily when our intuition is wrong (“Huh, I guess he is cool” doesn’t stick the same way as “I knew he wasn’t a good fit”)

Wow what a story

You need to read the Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. It’s a whole book on this.

Corporate espionage. The guy is the worst type of hire. Hope you got rid of him and if you did, good riddance. You should also sew him because he must learn a lesson.

Similar thing happened in my family - I just did *not* like my aunt’s husband. Dude just gave off the creepiest vibe, but I was six when they got married, so me not wanting to be anywhere near this guy was just written off as “being rude”. Anyway, he turned out to be an absolute psychotic abuser and ended up going to jail for burning down my aunt’s house after she filed for divorce.

When I was a kid I got super weird vibes from an uncle who married into the family and I vividly remember my mom and aunties and grandma at the kitchen island telling me that if I didn’t want to be alone around him I never ever had to be and I could just leave. And it stuck with me, so I never left my sister or cousins with him alone. Years after they divorced it turns out he was abusing the daughter of his new wife while she was about the age I was when i got that feeling. It was a great precedent for trusting my gut.

This right here is why my mom (who is a survivor herself) taught me to always trust my gut, and importantly, you don't have to be polite to someone who is making you uncomfortable. Say stop that in as blunt a way as you need, it's on them to be embarrassed, not you.

A child saw it before every adult in the room. That says everything about what we unlearn as we grow up.

That’s terrifying. Intuition can be powerful but it’s awful when adults dismiss it and real harm follows. I’m glad your friend got out safely in the end

He didn't think you (as a child) were important enough to get the charm. You saw parts of the real him.,

Was she twitchy? I’ve never done coke and I’m curious what the tells are for people that do a lot.

she was mad at the minor?

Over a decade ago, my client (senior federal employee at a federal agency in DC, with very deep IT knowledge) was from Montana. When he learned I was a backpacker (i.e. I hike 20-40 miles over a weekend and live out of the backpack) he said he missed the wilderness (which I understood). Dude always gave me the creeps, though. One random Thursday he asked what I had planned for the weekend, I said "not much" so he said "great I dont have plans so we're backpacking" and I literally couldnt refuse (my company actually held a meeting to brief me on selling points to hit on our trip and i got a small bonus of probably $1000 for any inconvenience). I begrudgingly picked him up early Saturday morning: he's wearing jeans and a cowboy hat (to hike in a temperate rainforest) and his wife and like 5 adopted / foster children(they were both white, the kids were not, and he always talked about fostering and adoptions they were doing) waited outside to see us off. He struggled to keep up at hiking so I went ahead and told him to hike his own hike. Other than that, camp was lame but I hit my talking points and he seemed surprised I brought a flask of scotch and cheekily drank half of it. Sunday I tell him I couldn't miss the entire Redskins game (gotta keep the streak going, and its still going) so we stopped at buffalo wild wings off I81; he told me after that he had never been to a sports bar for a game. Just weird experience on every level. Dude was just a bit "off" on everything, other than IT / his job. Years later I've moved to a different firm and a former coworker sends me an article about his arrest for producing and hosting child p***, lots of it. Somehow it made more sense than anything else.

Way to look out for the ladies, u/PMME_ur_lovely_boobs

Well done Dr PME_ur_lovely_boobs

Nice job

Thank you for watching out for her and your other patients

One time I was taking a medical bus (a special bus that runs from my rural area to the big cities nearby to take people without means of transportation to their medical appointments) and there was a father and his daughter on the bus, and the whole time me heebies were jeebying. There was this moment where he was sleeping, resting his giant adult head on her little shoulder, and instead of it seeming sweet I could just tell she couldn’t stand his head touching her. I didn’t even know who to talk to or explain my feelings to or what they could even do.

not all heroes wear capes, but they all deserve to be rewarded… with b****. check your pm’s 🤭

r/rimjob_steve Edit: tagged the wrong sublistnook

My sister was hit by a ladder that fell off a truck in front of her (they did not stop) (yes she was fine with minor damage to the car) and I’ve seen Final Destination so you better believe I get around trucks hauling *anything* on a highway as soon as I can. I’d rather get pulled for speeding trying to overtake them than risk something like this, ugh.

I had some similar experience. First you need to know that in highway traffic with trucks I often wait the cars behind trucks and in front of me to overtake before me and intentionally waiting behind them to start the maneuver. Now last summer I am in the same situation. I am driving behind car that is behind a truck in the right lane. Kids asleep on the back seat. Wife - awake. There is opening in the left lane and this time I just go. The car infront apparently was trying to accelerate too but was a bit too late so he goes right after me. After taking over the truck but not even enough for going back to the right lane we hear a laud sound. Me and wife look around puzzled and there it is - one of the trucks tires exploded and half the highway is in dust. The other car - just on the side of the truck barley visible in the dust..

Honestly you should always assume they don't have things strapped down properly and stay back a bit or pass

My little sisters did this to my older ones. They don't talk anymore because they were right. 😂

Wow. That was a wild read. Just WTF? Feel bad for George...

That was a wild read!

Man this guy was unhinged

So...your older friend was a friend with the creep? You said they stopped and talked. What were they talking about?

Scary! Good job, little you!

Nobody confirmed their story? I may be paranoid but I always go with 'trust but verify'

Holy shit, you hung out with Timothy Treadwell? The documentary must have been a trip to watch for you, to say the least.

I remember that news story - horrific!

I knew who you were taking about as soon as you said "white blonde bowl cut."

Similar story. Mfucker was sleeping next to me and something was telling me to check his phone. Same feeling… sinking, gut feeling. Turns out he was planning a trip with someone else, just weeks after we came back from another trip. He gave me shit for “breaking his trust and looking at his phone” but I don’t regret it for a second since he showed me what a scumbag he was.

Dated a girl for over a year. Was invited to be in her cousins wedding as an usher. Long story short, I saw her and one of the groomsmen talking a bit at the wedding. Didn't seem like anything literally at all as everyone was mingling with each other. Something in my gut said not to trust it. About a month after the wedding, all of a sudden, she wants to break up. A few weeks after, I was out with some friends and who shows up to the same bar? My ex and the groomsmen.

How do people find the audacity to do stuff like that? Do they think they wont get caught? What did she say when you confronted her?

Read the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

I once had a weird gut feeling about a coworker even though they seemed perfectly nice, so I kept my distance without really knowing why. A few months later it came out they’d been causing problems behind the scenes, and that feeling suddenly made a lot more sense.

I also avoid charming people.

I am missing stuff here, can you explain?

This sounds so familiar. I wonder who you're talking about..!