What's the funniest thing your kid has done that you couldn't laugh at?

I was transferred across the country and registered my daughter for the new school, showed her where the classroom was. My daughter, then 8, decided she wanted to go in alone to the first day of school. After attendance, the teacher asked if there was anybody whose name had not been called. My daughter raised her hand, and the teacher asked "and who might you be?" My daughter replied "you're the teacher, you have the list, you figure it out." LOL. She has ALWAYS been the smartest one in the room. And the most sarcastic. She is still that way. And now she's a teacher. But wait. There's more. She brought up the reading and math scores of her students by a larger percentage than anyone else in the state. The state school officials came to interview her about it, and when they asked which methods of the state program she used, she told them frankly that those methods don't work, and that her goal was to get the kids to read and do math, and why didn't they have those same goals?

My now 20 year-old, at about the age of 2, was really into using what we would call “potty” words, including “butt” and “p****”. And that’s fine, those are normal words and parts of the anatomy. But she was relentless with their use because she knew it would get a rise out of us. One night I was getting her into the bath and she kept saying butt butt butt, p**** p****, p****… And finally, I said, “OK, no more potty words“ She hesitated for about two seconds, and then said, “booger“

My 5 yo daughter was watching TV with my step dad in the other room on a visit. Didn’t figure it out until later but he had fallen asleep and the show had changed to Forensic Files. She comes in the other room and asks me “what is seaman?” Me: “a guy that sails ships” her: “I don’t think that’s right.” Me: “your grandpa was in the merchant marines and he was a seaman” her: “can’t be right. They found the seman in a dumpster and it helped them catch the guy that hurt the girl” me: “that’s the only thing I know. Maybe ask your grandma?” Her: “I already did and nobody will tell me” she stomped off obviously mad.

I’m the kid but my mom still tells it. She laid out my clothes. But I was a nudist lil kid and hated clothes! She said “You better get dressed or I’ll feed your breakfast to the dog!!” (I could smell it-an awesome breakfast: waffles, bacon etc) As she turned to leave I grabbed the clothes and threw them at her and said “YOU BETTER PUT THESE ON HER FIRST.” 🤣 (Meaning the dog) She was infuriated then but laughs about it now.

The following conversation when my husband was getting then-3yo ready for bed: - Dad, you should put on a shirt when you go to sleep. - Why’s that, baby? - So I don’t have to see your body. I actually did fall off the couch laughing. My poor husband.

When my son (21) was about 7, I asked what he wanted for dinner. He looked at me and loudly stated "Some goddamned peace and quiet, but that's not happening!" It took everything in me to not laugh as he stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him. I called my mom to tell her, and when we were done laughing a few minutes later, I went to check on him, and he was sound asleep on the floor.

There’s a old Halloween taunt that goes “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat! If you don’t, I don’t care, I’ll pull down your underwear!” I guess at some point my four year old heard it. We were at the library for story time, and after the librarian read a book about Halloween she asked the carpet full of kids “and what do you say after ‘trick or treat’ and getting your candy?”, encouraging them to say “Thank you”. My little bundle of poor recall and innocence popped up, threw her hands in the air, and yelled “DROP YOUR PANTIES!!!” You can’t respond or it’ll happen again and again, but good god, the look on the librarian’s face was priceless.

i do not have kids myselff but my nephew once had a full meltdown because his sandwich was cut into squares instead of triangles. he looked at his mom and said she was ruining his whole life completely serious like this was the biggest betrayal imaginable. she was trying so hard to keep a straight face while still being a responsible parent and it just made it funnier for everyone else in the roommm it always sticks with me how kids can be so dramaticc about the smallest things and still mean every word of it in that momentt

These are about my two younger brothers but this happened when I was 17. My dad owned rabbits and chickens and he mentioned to my younger brother that when the rabbits grew up he would kill them to cook them and my brother (8/9) said "What?! How?! Do you have the choke the chicken?" Because he mixed up the rabbits and the chickens, which my dad wouldnt kill because he used for eggs. My dad of course wouldnt allow that kind of talk as hes very clean around the kids but I just glanced at my dad to see if he caught it and I could tell he wanted to laugh so hard. Another time my dad was buckling up my 6 year old brother in the truck and the belt accidentally hits my brother in the face and brother yells out "dirty hoe!!!" And I immediately new what he referenced by unlocking my own childhood memory. My dad got so mad and said "where did you learn that?!" And I interrupted and said "its a line from Cat In The Hat" and he said my brother isnt allowed to watch it anymore. It was so funny to me though. In context of the film, the Mike Myers one, it has its share of adult jokes but ones kids dont get are bad. Cat steps on a garden hoe and it hits him in the face and he yells that.

My daughter, when she was about 2…. RuPaul’s Drag Race had just started and I was there for every episode. Of course my daughter would watch with me sometimes, and little kids being little sponges, she picked up on some of the lingo. One day, her brother (who was about 8 at the time) must have annoyed her somehow (even though they usually got along very well) and she told him, with the most “fierce” attitude and gesture to “Sashay AWAY!!” It took all I had in me to hold back the laughter that was threatening to burst forth

I was at the grocery store and there were 2 old bats blocking the isle gossiping. I stopped and stood there. My son, about 4 years old, says " MOVE IT, GRANDMA, I GOT SHIT TO DO!". I barely held the laughter back. I had to tell him that wasn't polite. He got a doughnut for trip home.

My sister was about 8 she went down the cellar and there was alot of junk all over and she starts screaming runs up the stairs yelling horse head horse head she said she saw a horse head. She did not go down the cellar until she was around 19 or so. My other sisters and me aways went up behind her yelling horse head the time . She would yell for my mother and tattle on us. To this day we still say that too her she's 68 it was fun teasing her..

My son was three, I put him on the horse at the grocery store. Popped a quarter in. There was something wrong with the horse and it was moving like slow motion. My son complained, loudly, “This is a s*** horse.” I couldn’t let him or anybody else there see me laughing, but I was dying inside.

I don't have kids but my brother does. When his eldest was having her terrible 2's one day she had got down on the floor again banging her hands and feet in a tantrum. My brother was so fed up with the tantrums that day and had gotten to the point where he didn't know what to do so he got down on the floor and copied what she was doing including the wha wha noise. She immediately shut up and looked at him not knowing what to do. He stayed where he was and she got up. It cured her of her tantrum problem!

Was shopping at an ethnic food store. 4 year old daughter very loudly asks " if white people are allowed to shop here ?"

A friend’s kid once walked up to me in public and casually patted my t*** like bongos.

I was in church with my daughters ages about 10 and 8. I made the mistake of letting them sit together, with me next to the younger one. The older could be a prick. She started poking the younger, hoping to get some kind of rise out of her. For some unknown reason, I just watched to see what would happen. Finally, the younger turned to me and said. "Daddy, she's feeding me up!"

No horse head but it was funny

My sister was three…my dad took her to shortys cigars store…he said “the owner is a little person and he’s short,…don’t say anything”…my sister walked in and said…” he really is a shorty daddy”😩

We live on a small estate of about 40 houses. It was great as when we first moved in it was brand new and there were lots of other young kids, so all the kids would play together outside. One family had a boy who was a bit older, 8 as opposed to 4-5, he was ok sometimes but he could be a bully at times. My son age 5 was out playing and my daughter was inside with me. Frantic knocking on the door and I answered it, bully says to me in a whiny voice "son called me an a******" I just stood there not knowing what to say and didn't hear my 4 year old come up behind me, she says "well Patrick you are an a******". His face was absolutely priceless! I kept my composure for a few seconds and then lost it laughing. I had to shut the door in his face because he saw me laughing. I didn't tell either child off because he was an a****** and he deserved it really. Besides I don't think children should be punished for telling the truth, even if it involves swearing. Little a****** got what he deserved. Although im aware I will never win mother of the year but that's ok too.