What’s the most disrespectful thing a partner can do in a relationship?

Well, cheating is up there.

Talking shit about you to their family and friends. When that happens, they always think it's OK to treat you poorly or disrespect you later on because now they know negative things about you. It happens a lot during struggles and fights, then of course, the family is on their side and thinks poorly of you for the rest of your relationship.

Coercion/manipulation. Emotional and sexual. Also, using something personal you trusted them with against you. By all means, cheat, I don't care. That's something that's obvious and out there in the open. But mess with my head? Make me think I'm crazy? Change my brain chemistry? The audacity.

dismissing your feelings like theyre optional. nothing hits worse than being vulnerable and they act like youre being dramatic

Making fun of you in front of other people, especially when it concerns things they know you are sensitive about.

embarass you in public outings

Publicly embarrassing you. Whether it’s a “joke” in front of friends or passive aggressive digs online, that’s a dealbreaker.

Ignore your needs and hurt feelings repeatedly no matter how much you express them

This is a hard question, but for me it would be speaking negatively or disparaging about the partner to friends, family, and in front of the kids. And then telling the partner “that’s just what good wives do”.

Eat your Hagen Das

Emotionally confiding in another woman, one that isn’t his family and allows her to talk badly about you to him. Cheating. Being abusive. Letting his family abuse you.

Not listening. As in, not giving you the respect of paying attention and really seeing and hearing you when it matters.

My deceased ex told me he hoped I died.

Never happened to me, but sharing your partner's n*** is really fucked up... =w= I had so many friends mid convo go "hey you wanna see his d***?"

Cheating... f****** someone other than your spouse in your marital bed kind of cheating. F*** you joe. Lol

Make fun of you in public, major lies, cheat, hurt you physically, kill you. In this order. Case closed.

talking about your business and talking ill of family and friends

I would say attempting to off you

Mock you

Humiliating his wife In front of his family yet fail to take accountability for his behaviour.

launch into a full on character assassination of you…each time you try to mention that they’ve done something that hurt your feelings…basically telling you that due to your character flaws the way they treat you is your own fault…it’s your own fault that your partner did something that hurt your feelings…you’re hypersensitive, you’re the reason nobody likes you etc. etc. etc.

Dismissiveness. Like, you don't have to agree with or understand everything your partner says or thinks or feels, but acting like those things aren't important or are stupid or don't matter is a form of contempt.

not be curious about you

Besides the obvious things like cheating and physical abuse, I think one of the worst behaviors is when someone mocks, minimizes, or deliberately tries to make their significant other feel insecure or less than, whether in private or in front of others. That kind of behavior shows lack of respect, and without respect, there really can’t be love. It suggests they don’t see their partner as an equal human being with feelings, but rather as something they take for granted, diminish, or use to make themselves look superior. Or at least thats how they think it comes across.

Stay in the relationship when you know you can’t/wont give them what they want.

Lie. Lie about yourself, your history, your intentions toward the current partner, etc.

Pretend they love you and waste years of your life

Intimate partner r***. Super common. I’ve experienced it a few times.

Judging by what I’ve read today, I can’t decide between “peeing in the kitchen sink when there’s dishes in it“ or “using AI to reply to my sad texts”.

It’s definitely physical violence. People claiming anything else are lucky enough not to have experienced that and/or just aren’t thinking about it hard enough.

Cheat, and then try to convince you it is your fault that happened.

In a healthy relationship, but my husband doubts my intelligence. We both do things differently, he is logical, I am not. When I do a thing, he doesnt see how it would work, so he doubts it. It ALWAYS works, just different. Married for 35 years and yet he still doubts me. Disrespectful.

My BF in college gave me a dress for my birthday that was a size smaller then i was (for the record i was a size 4). He said that I should look at it as motivation. Unfortunately, I put up with another year of that and then dumped him.

Not taking an illness (mental and/or physical) seriously.

Belittling your ambitions or dreams. A partner should lift you up, not make you feel small for wanting more

Lie. Cheat. Put you below anyone else besides their child(ren) (such as friend, mom, dad, whatever).

I think that really depends on your personal values. For some people it would be their partner sleeping with someone else. For someone to might be calling them a name. For some people it might be lying. For some people, it might be publicly making them look bad. For some it might be their trust being used against them. For some it might be making a financial decision without talking about it first. Many people have different things they feel to be important within their own relationship, so it's a matter of perspective. For me, it would be hiding something or omitting the truth because it takes away a partner's ability to make an informed decision.

Lie and cheat.

Lying, that’s the big one for me. That betrayal is crushing.

Emotionally blackmailing you to come over and sleep with you claiming it's because they're going through a hard time, and when you reject, they accuse you of r*** and threaten to "expose you" to the police and social media.

Use a guillotine 🐦‍⬛

Betrayal of any kind. Affairs, overspending/gambling, sharing confidential relationship issues frivolously and without respect, lying. We are betrayed by secrets and actions that are not in our best interests.

Break your trust

Cheat

Putting their bare ass an inch from your face and farting loudly to wake you up.

Narcissism, Gaslighting & Not Valueing the Marriage as a unity more than the self as an individual (putting own needs above the spouse AND the marriage). Third Parties (Opposite sex "besties" and In-Laws included) Lethal for any Marriage

Talk poorly about you to others. Sometimes the way coworkers or acquaintances talk about their SOs is so mean and unkind. You should be their biggest fan, and them yours. 

cheating, gaslighting, controlling your actions

Take you for granted.

Murder is up there. 63% of female US homicide victims are killed by current or former intimate partners (husbands, boyfriends, or ex-partners)

[ Removed by Listnook ]

Farting right in your face when you're just trying to relax.

Dutch Oven

I’d probably say lying/cheating. That would end it for me

Disrespect in front of their friends/family

Make big decisions on their own. House, cars bank, safes, expensive riding lawn mower. I got to pay for half of everything but couldn't get into the safes.

Poop right on the living room floor. Like right there on the floor!

Hit you. Cheat on you. Lie to you.

Cheat. Lie. Declare that we lived where I wanted to so he was exempt from outside work. But he was male, so he didn't have to do the inside either. Then moved his 13 yo daughter in. And told her she didn't have to listen to me making rules. Damn, looking back, even I wonder what was wrong with me.

fart in your face while you're eating pie.

Ignoring your boundaries. If you say something makes you uncomfortable and they roll their eyes or push anyway… nope.

Lie about not wanting kids in the hopes you'll change your mind or they can sabotage to get you pregnant and you'll have no choice but to keep it because might as well.

F***, kill and eat their partner's parents and then shit in their mouth and steal their catalytic converter

Being okay with being treated like a child

Control

Apart from the obvious (cheating), I think: shouting during arguments and calling you names and never having your back during any disagreement e.g., with someone else in the family. If they are not a safe place to vent, and constantly play the devils advocate or immediately get defensive to defend the MIL or whoever, you are never going to feel respected and valued in that relationship.

Ignoring your boundaries. If you say something makes you uncomfortable and they roll their eyes or push anyway… nope.

Belittling you, whether alone or in front of others. If it’s not the worst, it’s up there.

Being a f****** liar.

Apart from cheating, having wandering eyes and calling it "being alert"

Probably blame all their shortcomings on you

CHEATING

Betrayal and lies.

Haven't seen, repeatedly exposing you to STI's by sleeping with people and not using protection or telling you so you can make a decision about safe sex.

Abandonment, when you're most vulnerable and need support. Specifically during the worst life moments that are out of your control. Loss of parents, siblings, pets, job, health.

Cheating is probably number one, esp if it results in pregnancy bc how are you gonna cheat and not even be careful? Hitting you. Doing something to you that you asked them not to do. Cussing at you or insulting you out of anger.

Idk, that guy that was using chatGPT/AI to read and respond to his wife was pretty bad. She was venting/chatting and he was FULL ON feeding it to AI and having AI respond. That seems pretty f****** disrespectful

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Not introduce you to someone or do so without any context as to who you are

Lie

Cheat with their partner’s best friend

Try to discourage or make fun of their partner infront of others

Shout at you in public

Going on a bachelorette trip to Vegas and have a one night stand while your there and then a few months later find out your pregnant! True story! (Not me! It happened to a co-worker)

People are gonna say cheating, but I don't think it's as big a deal as most people do. For me it's stealing your car and ghosting you for a year on a meth binge under the pretense of borrowing it to go see their estranged daughter one day, while you had a ton of precious photos and your favorite jacket in the back seat.

I was at a kids birthday party at a park where one partner up and left the other partner and kid without their knowledge. He had to scramble to find a ride in a car not equipped to transport an extra 4 year old. So the Irish goodbye partner left their family behind and put another family at risk with an unsafe driving situation.

Cheat and then leave you to bring up the kids

Someone else.

Starting off the partnership with equal sharing of responsibilities, then tapering off to the point where one does nothing anymore. No more contributions, no more sharing of responsibilities. They just assume that you have it all covered. When a partnership gets this unbalanced, it's all over. The sad part is when you get a divorce (if you're married), the useless couch potato gets half of everything. It can feel so terrible, like someone took half of you away.

Not accepting that you have boundaries, say no, and so they "push" the matter.

Cheating & blaming you via saying "you're always cheating" " you're such a cheating w**** that you have to take our son wherever you go because that's all you do. Yes my ex husband said those things because HE was the cheating w**** that didn't want to feel guilty so he wanted to gaslight me every chance he got

Lie

Constant nagging

No honesty.

Cheet on you

Lot of people answering here haven been through a toxic divorce. Reproductive coercion. Falsely accused of crimes in a way that effects your work. Denied access to your kids. Swipe every bit of cash or asset they can access. Bad mouth you to every person you know. Cancel your insurances and essential orders. Drag out court proceeding's for years. Concede the lie in the end but get no punishment AT ALL. Rewarded if anything. Just warming up. Because they can't get at.you anymore start f****** with your kids. Send messages your kids are hurt or in hospital when it is all false. Start force feding your kids every favourite they ever liked from you untill the sight of it alone makes them cry. Cruel chores including unnecessary created ones for having spoken to you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Would take being cheated on easy by comparison. Honestly, I would take being raped. At least it ends and you have a home to go home to.

In a Listnook relationship, it would be to ask a vague or stupid question.