What's the most unethical thing you've done that you DON'T regret?

Identical twin here- we once rented a car for a long drive we had to make together. It was going to cost extra to put two drivers on the rental, so we went with her name. The plan was, if I got pulled over, I’d use her license and information so we wouldn’t get in trouble 😄 We also share a movie pass, and have borrowed each other’s IDs for things now and then! It seriously comes in handy sometimes

I was the Officer in Charge (E8) of a US Coast Guard small boat station and had an E3 transferring in from another unit. It was unusual as most go off to their A school training at this point. Turns out he was married with 2 young kids and his wife had terminal cancer. I had him check in to the unit and come in once a week just to be around the crew and play some volleyball. Other than that he spent every minute with his family for the next 4 months. I never charged him a day of leave. The Sector Commander (06) asked for updates on the young Coastie  I told him we were taking good care of him and as long as there were no admin personnel follow ups, he will have all the time he needed. He said that's why I made sure he went to your unit. I knew you'd do the right thing.

I saw a fantastic antique mirror perfect for my house at an estate sale, but it was cash only and I didn't have any cash on me. I took the price sticker off while I ran to the ATM, then reapplied it when I got back. Signs were posted all over that items without price tags were not for sale. These estate sales are cutthroat and I didn't want someone else buying this mirror!

Idk how unethical this is. But I used to sell merch inside a stadium for a major NFL team and sometimes we worked meet and greets for the players. These meet and greets were usually done by one of the teams sponsors, so that companies branding was on everything along with the teams name/logo. The company that sponsored this specific event was, and still is, a major credit card company in the US that is very well known. We wore specific uniforms for these events that were given to us right before our shift by the sponsor companies employees. After we were done we were told that we were allowed to take those uniforms, and anything else extra, home with us. I was really surprised because it was pretty much all Nike and really good quality. There was a lot left so I asked the lady running the event if they were going to donate the rest. She said very nonchalantly, "Oh no, we don't want people seeing the homeless wearing clothes with our name on it." I was speechless, but she didn't even notice and just went on to whatever next task she had. So when I left, I took all of the extra clothes I could fit in 2 bags and told them I was giving them to family/friends as gifts. Then after my shift I brought both bags full of clothes to a homeless encampment near my apartment and gave all of it away. Never once regretted doing that and I hope that lady's day is ruined every time she sees a homeless person wearing her companies brand.

Stole a medical device from a chain p*******. Wife got discharged from the hospital after breaking her leg and getting surgery and we were told to go straight to the p******* to pick her pain meds. Was in the p******* line for an hour, it wrapped around the store and they only had 1 person working, got to the front, her meds are in a safe with a timer so told to come back in 30 mins, waited in the store and 30 mins later I get them (all while my drugged up wife is still sat in the car in the parking lot). I also needed to grab a medical thing (maybe $40) to make her comfortable at home. I pick it up and take it up to the register and there’s no staff there, no self checkout, and no staff in sight so I just left with it. I’ve never stolen before or since but Jesus Christ I was absolutely at my wits end after a very stressful couple of days.

I worked in an inpatient mental health and drug rehab facility and would embellish about the patients’ symptoms so that the insurance would pay for their needs to be met. Insurance companies are so evil and don’t want to help people when they truly need it! 

I got fired from a job because the owners were convinced that I deleted everything off the email and drive. We were using a software that organized our inbox so thus had all our communications/files in different folders as opposed to just keeping the primary inbox full of random things. It’s literally what I was hired to do They fired me without even allowing me to speak or explain how the system worked. After firing me, they doxxed me and made *absolutely insane* social media posts about how I was “a racist leech.” People showed up at my apartment. Their posts went viral and I eventually had to wipe myself off the internet. Was hard to find work. I lost several friends. I even considered a legal name change for a bit Anyway, the unethical thing- after their posts went viral, when this whole thing began to affect my safety and mental health and reputation- I went ahead and deleted all the emails and files. Client contacts, building leases, business manuals, schedules- all of it. The files were always there. They were always available to them. But seeing how they blew this *very manageable* misunderstanding up, along with my life, I figured why the hell not

Met up with a fling that I was no longer interested in just so I could get back my Firefly box set that I lent him.

In high school my journalism teacher who I was very close with was also the teacher in charge of the yearbook. Our yearbooks were $80 each and my family didn't have extra money like that. On the last day of my senior year I stole the last copy of the junior year and one of the last of my senior year yearbooks from her stockroom. Part of me regrets it because it was wrong and my only ever theft, and the victim was a teacher who was kind and had given me a scholarship. But as an adult I look back and feel sad for the kid who just wanted a yearbook like all the other kids. I think forever part of me will regret it and part of me will understand.

 While I was in the military, i had this kid that had a reputation.  He was down.  He didn’t think was being given a fair chance.  So, I told him I’d review his personnel file.  There was some documentation that I didn’t think applied anymore.  Stuff like a failed dorm inspection when he had been living off base for years.   I stumbled on the way to return the file.  It’s a real shame that some of those documents landed in the shredder.  I hope the first sergeant had a good cry.

I clean up apartment communities. I watched a lady come out of her unit let her dog poop and not pick it up before she left. I picked it up and put some of it on her door handle so she'd put her hands in it when she got home.

I let another student copy my answers in all tests throughout middle school. Her father would beat her blue for every failed test, and math was not her strongest. We were not even friends, but her dad was a flaming piece of c***.

Filled in some gaps on my resume with places like TRU, Blockbuster, and others that are closed down.

The hotel I worked at decided a raise of 10 cents an hour was plenty a few years ago when inflation was super high and we were already wildly understaffed and overworked. I started pillaging anything that wouldn't be noticed. Projectors, towels, tissues, tp, mouse, keyboard, mini fridge, bathrobes... I've taken a lot to make up for the lack of pay and overwork. 

When my boss kept underpaying me and ignoring my overtime, I started “accidentally” giving my friends free meals at the restaurant I worked at. He owed me thousands, so I considered it payment. Never felt bad about it once.

I stole a cat once. My neighbors had an outdoor cat that they really didnt care about, and I would feed him and love on him because he always headbutted me on my walk home. He was really sweet and I saw one day that his eye was badly infected. I asked them if they were gonna take him to the vet and said no. I waited a day so it wouldn't be that suspicious and picked the boy up and took him the vet and took him home. He ended up fat and happy and living with my mom. I had zero regrets then and still have zero now.

20 years ago in college the staff printed out internship job descriptions and taped them to the wall in this hallway. I ripped one off the wall so no one else would apply and I ended up getting that internship.

Neighbour had some friends over and they hit my car. Just a scratch they came over and gave me her number. I told her no worries just get me a paint pen. It’s twenty bucks. She was young and I was proud of her for fessing up. Well she never texted me back after a few days and I never got the paint pen. The neighbour told me her mom said to ignore me. Her mom’s a well known realtor in town and I’ve had a few friends who were originally listed or were in deals with her. They all pulled out or switched realtors and she’s lost around 20k worth of commission.

I worked for the university I was going to school at and one of jobs was taking money for students to print. I was essentially an assistant to the secretary of a Dean and she had me basically do her entire job for her and I made absolute shit and was so poor I normally didn’t have enough to eat more than one meal a day - so I’d occasionally take a buck or two from the printer money to get a snack from the vending machine 🤷🏻‍♀️ to this day I really don’t feel bad for it.

When I worked for CPS, I had a 16 year old boy on my caseload that had repeatedly gotten violent with his mother. He was a very strong boy, would bust down doors, threaten her, and at one point held a knife to her throat. He had been hospitalized four times due to these types of behaviors. Every time, the people working with him would say he was not recommended for any residential treatment facilities (these were places where children would live while they got intensive inpatient treatment). Now, CPS tries to do everything in its power to NOT have the state take custody of a child, as they don't want to separate kids from their parents, and finding placements for the children is VERY expensive (literally several hundreds of dollars a day). That being said, this mother was BEGGING me to do something for her and her kid. After the fourth hospitalization where he was not recommended for residential treatment, I called the facility and basically asked them WTF was going on. Does the mother have to be murdered before they recommend intensive inpatient? Apparently, they kept denying intensive treatment recommendations because the mother's insurance wouldn't cover it. I saw red. I then informed the worker that when residential treatment is recommended, the state takes custody and pays for it. I told her if the conversation was relayed to my supervisor, I would deny saying any of this (phone calls were not recorded). Fortunately, that did the trick. The boy was immediately recommended for residential treatment. The mother cried tears of joy when I told her the news. Had my supervisor found out that I called the hospital to complain, or that I informed them of the payment process, I would have been seriously punished, if not fired. Lucky for that family, I cared more about the people who needed my help than I cared about my job. I'd do it again, if I had to.

Idk if it’s unethical, but I work at a Hotel as a manager, and it was during the winter I saw this homeless guy walking, I went outside and called him in. I gave him a room for free for a whole week. My boss would have fired me if he found out, they are $180 rooms!

Couldn't get a job during the Great Recession. To cover the increasingly long employment gap, I looked up a business address and phone from another state and said I worked there until I moved back recently. I got hired within a month of the new strategy. Don't feel bad since I showed up on time and got my work done more than any other employee.

I was in charge of time keeping for a construction company. Vacation time was use it or lose it at the end of the year and some senior employees had a lot of time that they would lose every year because they simply did not take the time off. The wife of one of the employees got cancer and although he qualified for FMLA, he ran out of PTO after 3 weeks. He would have to choose between caring for her and their 2 sons without a paycheck or come into work. The company had a PTO donation policy. I just kept reporting that he was being donated time by other employees. No one ever questioned where the time off came from and I just kept putting it in. His wife passed 4 months later and he returned to work. He wanted to know who had donated time so he could thank them and I told him I couldn’t disclose it due to internal policy.

Money was really tight with my parents when I was in middle school. They had been fighting constantly about it. That sucked hard:( Tried their best to shield me from it but I was old enough to know. Things got really bad when my dad lost his job. I wanted to help but I obviously couldn't get a job at that age. So I started thinking... several months prior my martial arts did a kickathon fundraiser. I got a little from other family members but didn't really put much effort into it otherwise. Then it dawned on me...I could fake that another one was happening and go around this 55+ community close by to my school for "donations". I had copy of the old form, changed the dates, printed and stapled it on a big manila envelope I got from school. Next day I brought my uniform in my backpack and planned to walk to the neighborhood after school. It was only about a mile away maybe less. Told my parents I was going to stay late and play basketball with some friends lol. So I set out, dressed in my green belt uniform, and went door to door with my fundraiser pitch that we needed new equipment, money for tournaments, studio reno etc. I was a little baby face preteen, hard to say no to lol. Especially for these folks who were mostly retired. And with every donation, they would sign the printout I had, so the more people i got, the more legit it looked. Ended up gathering close to $500. I was buzzing. I went home that night and ripped the printout off the envelope, and wrote "emergency $$$" on it and hid it in the cabinet where my parents had their important docs and checkbook. They must have found it after a couple days but never said anything to me. But there was a huge mood shift in the house. My parents got better groceries aside from the usual hot dogs and mac n cheese. And we even got Chinese takeout a couple times!! A few months later my dad landed a new job that while wasn't the greatest, kept us above water. Then a few years later that got him into a great gig that he rode all the way to retirement about a year ago. Unethical AF but I have ZERO regrets Edit: I never told them and probably never will. Plus I hate having that kind of attention. I got the outcome I wanted so that's all that matters to me.

Worked 2 remote fulltime jobs at the same time, giving it 4 hours each. Yet somehow in both jobs there's still someone getting less done than me.

Boss promised OT pay “upon approval”. Never approved OT pay for long hours days, so I started just not working for hours per week to make up for it.

I used to be a checkout operator and I would only scan the second or third items for my friends parents etc because I knew what it was like to be poor. Every time they gave me a knowing look and I was like la la la that’s $80 (instead of $150). No one ever snitched but also, billion dollar grocery store can suck my d***. I also did it for my friends at McDonald’s (throwing in extra food) but that stopped after they made everything “fresh”

I gave a fake name and social at an ER and then pretended I was the caretaker of someone in a wheelchair (I had Homie Henry’s permission and he was in full cahoots at that point) in order to exit. They lock you in until you give payment so I pushed this homie through the check-out doors then took off running. No regrets on not paying those bills whatsoever. I was homeless at the time and would have died without getting seen.

So when my husband filed for divorce after being married 5 months and me following him to another city, he moved out for a while and back in with his parents, I was drowning in work and also despised him. At that point, I could have done anything with his stuff—burned it, tossed it—but I didn’t want to hand him the easy narrative of me being his “crazy ex-wife.” So picture this: a few late nights, me with a glass of wine(or 3), looking around our apartment thinking, “What can I do to screw him over without leaving fingerprints?” The solution hit me. I gathered every single thing from his closet—suits, tailored jackets, expensive imported clothes his parents bought him, everything—and hauled it in four trips to a random tailor. I calmly explained that I wanted every sleeve and pant leg shortened by two inches, and that any extra fabric should be discarded. No reversals, no fixes. Paid in cash. Rush order. Two days later, I picked up the altered wardrobe, hung it all neatly back in his closet, and waited. I never heard a word. And of course I didn’t. Because how do you confront someone about something like that? Can you imagine going to court and like crossing your leg and the pant leg is halfway up your leg?! And then ALL of your suits are that way? So he obviously noticed but he couldnt seriously accuse me of doing that. He would’ve sounded completely unhinged. And that was obviously the best part.

I got paid $7.25 an hour working at a fast casual restaurant chain in high school and I'd bet I got more value in food than I did in money. I was definitely putting away a couple bucks worth of cookies and pepperonchinis in the walk in every hour. And the stuff we'd take home. Thems the goodies.

I make it seem like my work takes 10x longer than it does at my job, so that I only have 1/10th of a job to do.

Was a cashier at Walmart and perpetually broke, with a baby and dead beat husband who refused to work (ex now). Did not have any food in the house. The items people decided not to buy at check-out? I hide them underneath the counter until my shift was over. By the end of the day I had a full dinner I could make at home.

Snuck into a movie without paying. The movie was Splyce. I still think I should have gotten a refund.

When my sister was in undergrad, she had a neighbor her senior year who badly mistreated their dogs. They raised them for fighting, hit them, and they were chained up all day and night. They got a new puppy —sweetest thing. The week before her graduation, we might have taken our new little puppy friend on a not-so-short drive in the middle of the night halfway to 3 states away to meet his new family. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I fly for work a decent amount. I also love playing the credit card game. So I pay for flights, expense them, then cancel within 24 hours to get a full refund. Then I book the same flight with my points/miles. Get the tax free cash from employer. I call it point laundering. Don’t regret it but I do question how unethical it is. It’s what the company would be paying anyway

I bought a food processor from Walmart. Used it for a few weeks and decided to make pizza dough with it, one of the things it was supposed to be able to do. The motor burned out and i didnt have the reciept or the box. So I went to Walmart, bought a new food processor and made sure it was the exact same one. Put the old one in the new ones packaging and took it back and said it didn't work upon opening. Had the receipt. Got my money back. Still have the other food processor, I've never attempted pizza dough again

I used to train people in a financial call centre. I had my trainees from their second day in the job, for 6 weeks of training then they became part of my team. First week of taking calls this crusty old fud called in and got one of my new guys. 'I've been doing this 40 years, tell me what I want to know.' He demanded. He was asking new agent to breach rules significantly. I coached the agent, caller wasn't having it. I took the call over. 2 manager referrals later, dude essentially gets what he wants. I was incensed. I wrote a letter of complaint to the old dudes company in a fit of rage. He had been so condescending, so rude to someone who was so nervous about taking these calls. I got into a bit of trouble but I think my new guy appreciated someone standing up for him. No regrets.

I worked for a startup for hopes and promises in one of those company closed ABRUPTLY kind of situations. My paycheck bounced, the 401k turned up empty, and the sheriff put chains on the doors. I walked into the CFO's office and got the full truth on what happened with the sale of the business a few months prior. He gave me the "It's how it is" speech while standing against the back wall and I lost it. Said some expletives walked to his desk, grabbed that fancy mother f****** Herman Miller Aeron that he always talked about and just f****** left with it. Threw it in my Blazer and left that parking lot for the last time. It has been my daily use office chair for 5 years now and I'll be damned if he wasn't right about how magical it is to spend a day sitting in.

Stole a guitar from a preacher after he screwed me out of a summer of wages.

I was failing statistics, and somehow during class cigarette break, I struck a deal with the professor that I’d give him a picture of my b**** if he passed me. I went to the Photo Booth at Woolworth’s, lifted my shirt to hide my face, and took 4 pictures of my b****. I was nervous, I wondered if the cops were going to be in the other side of the curtain! The teacher gave me an A, and I still have the other 3 photos from 36 years ago.

Forged a transfer credit form to graduate college on time. I studied abroad my senior year and I had to get a form about the transfer credits signed but a c*** in the English dept refused bc I didn't bring all my writing assignments back with me. My advisor had already signed off on the rest of my credits so I added one more class to that form to give me the credits I needed.

I used to work at Vitamin Shoppe 20 years ago. People would return supplements and protein powder daily. It was a company policy to throw it away after returning. Employees, including myself, would always raid the dumpsters after work to scavenge for like-new supplements and sweet sweet protein powder. During low times we'd have friends purchase products and return them in exchange for portions of the loot. A few customers were sly themselves and often returned protein containers filled with flour. I believe this was called stealing. Also, back in the day Walmart (and a few other stores) used to accept returns without receipts, without ID, and paid you back in cash. We had a system for "buying" new video games by buying low somewhere and returning high somewhere else. We would do this ~4 times around town until the game was "free." I believe we called this process video game arbitrage.

When I was in my early 20s, my brother and I stole money from his girlfriend’s mom and boyfriend. They were basically country criminals and my brother knew they carried cash around in their trunk. One night when they went out of town (about two hours away), we drove there, popped their trunk open and grabbed a bag of cash. We hightailed out of there and didn’t even look in the bag til we were half way home. There was over $20,000 in cash. He had no idea it would be that much. 40 years ago that was a fortune. They were kind of suspicious of my brother but we manufactured an alibi they couldn’t really disprove. It was pretty f****** exhilarating. No regrets.

Jumped the fence at Seaworld after it closed and got into the Dolphin enclosure, 20 years ago on my birthday, leaned in, hugged and patted a dolphin, cried then went home. (couldn't afford a swim with the dolphins experience)

Worked in produce, ate what ever fruit and vege I wanted.. and if I wanted to have something else Id take it in the chiller and eat it there

In college my upstairs neighbor had an inappropriate relationship with a 14 year old girl. I may have tipped off the girl’s mother to come home early, good news is he was into the hospital overnight.

I used to volunteer in my daughter’s 1st grade class. I was supposed to quiz the kids on their math facts. The kids would walk up to be terrified so I always tried my best to talk to them and relax them and make it as low stress as possible. I taught them tricks to help them memorize their facts. This one little girl really struggled. It was the last week of school and the little girl came to me so scared. As usual I tried to relax her. She then told me with tears in her eyes that her mom said if she didn’t pass the math facts her mom would send her to the principals office. “I said “oh no honey. That won’t happen…and this isn’t the end of the world. We all learn at different paces.” She started crying and said “my mom will be so angry if I don’t pass. I have to pass” I passed her. F*** it. It was summer and her mom could help her practice for the next year, but I needed that little girl to feel proud of herself and not be sad. F*** these parents that stress out 5-6 year olds. I don’t regret it. I love kids. I would be a teacher except I don’t want to discipline them or deal with their parents. I just want to pump them up and let them know that they are awesome.

stole a traffic cone for my collection of random stuff

Fireman here, had a cardiac arrest we brought back/resuscitated, in a tight spot and had to move guy from tight corner around a bed in a hoarder house. 2 of us, only way I could grab him was one hand on pants belt loop and the other by his hair. Basically used his hair as a grab handle to move him out of the room. Seemed brutal at the time, but there was no other way in the heat of the moment.

At my work we would get soda pop we had an intern event and i went and took an entire fridge of sodas. Security gave a video of me to my boss and they used that clip for orientation to say that is not how you use that benefit.

Went to a big school and couldn’t get into the mechanical engineering department that I wanted to but managed to get into a related department. For our senior project, my friend and I joined the FSAE team (race car) that was run by the ME department. There was an old piece of equipment in the corner of the basement (TIG welder) that I managed to resurrect as no one else knew either what it was or how it worked. Although it was completely obsolete by modern standards, it still worked fine and was built like a tank. Around spring, they started rounding up equipment to be sent to the auction and the welder was one of the items. Knowing what was going to happen next, I went to the computer lab (the was like, 2003) and printed ‘doesn’t work’ on a piece of paper and taped it haphazardly onto the machine. At the auction, I managed to buy it for just over scrap price. I use it regularly and have for over 20 years. Unethical? Sure but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

So much free overnight shipping on order fuckups. Management trusted me, so I never got it approved. Just put in the replacement order and overnighted. Also, I’m not a haggler, so if you barked, I’d do all I could to get you to proverbially shut up.

Stole the “Easy St” sign in my home town so many times it now has a sign under it that’s says the sign has a tracking device in it.

I don't know if this would be considered unethical, but I once had a neighbor whose dog (puppy) kept coming in my house through the cat door. He was always there and the neighbor never came looking for him. She wasn't the friendly neighbor type so I never took it back to her house. Besides the fact that she kept it outside all the time. After this going on for over a month I finally called animal control and told them the situation. Specifically how I would go about adopting him. First they said to bring him to the shelter and if they didn't come to claim him within X amount of days I could then go and adopt him. Then they said "never mind, just get him licensed and vaccinated and he's yours" So that's what I did. At least another month went by and the neighbor never came looking for him. We shared a chain link fence front and back, so she could have seen him. Eventually she noticed the dog was out in the yard with me. She comes over screaming that I stole her dog. I informed her that the dog had been living at my house for months! She screamed some more and then went back home. I don't think she really wanted it. I think it was supposed to be her weirdo sons dog. TLDR: I took the neighbors dog because it was being neglected.

Hit someone with my car for assaulting me.

My neighbor incorrectly laid bricks in a common space between our houses, and now they shift and sag under step. They also left a bunch of bricks outside, out of camera sight... My garden now has an extra layer of brick border.

This isn’t mine but my brothers and I still think it’s hilarious. We were a few years apart but went to the same HS. He and his friends were in the same art class. Their teacher was oblivious and not very attentive. They were bored one day in class so they decided to invent a student. When she was away from her desk, one of them snuck up to it and added “Roger W.” in her attendance/grade book to see if she’d notice. Note this was before everything was online and she was old school anyway and kept a hard copy grade and attendance book. The next day doing attendance she actually called out “Roger” and one kid threw his voice and said “Here” and she marked it and moved on. Everyone thought it was hilarious so they started doing homework assignments and putting his name on them and handing them in. When they had partner projects one kid would do it then add Roger’s name. This went on for weeks and she never caught on that Roger did not exist nor did she realize this kid magically just showed up mid-semester. Eventually they got tired of filling out double homework and it became tricky when they had bigger projects to hand in. So they just stopped. It came time to turn in grade progress reports and Roger obviously had a ton of missing work and class. She then turned his name into the school office as someone who needed a progress report at which point everything unraveled. I was told later she actually got chewed out because the administration realized a bunch of high school students created a kid and she never caught on. I heard she was really embarrassed. The assistant principal came to talk to the class. They got the standard lecture about how it was wrong but he also acknowledged it was a pretty clever prank, but to not do it again lol.

My ex cheated on me and he is blind without his glasses or contacts. Sellotaped them to the back of the wardrobe and cancelled his contacts order

I used to work Saturdays in a lab at a manufacturing plant. Weekends were always a skeleton crew. I could do my day's work in about 4 hours. I was also getting my online masters at the time (via workplace tuition reimbursement). Between doing schoolwork on company time (on a company PC) and just...leaving insanely early but filling my timecard out as if I had stayed the whole 8 hours, I probably "stole" nearly $10k of company time. The most baffling thing is that i wasn't caught.

Defrauded a CBD/THC "wellness" company for thousands of dollars over several months by using a $50 coupon double exploit. Leafly, a weed-centric platform, occasionally sends out coupons to various sites/companies they're partnered with in their email newsletters. One such coupon was $50 at Medterra (or Five, maybe?); plus they had free shipping for orders over $35 and weren't calculating tax for my state yet. And, apparently, the free shipping minimum applied to cart value rather than actual cost. Instead of the normal "one coupon code for everyone" type deal, Leafly sent it as a link to a unique coupon code generator...meaning every time you click the link, you get a fresh new $50 coupon. I discovered this accidentally when I forgot to add something to the cart before checking out, and figured I'd eat the $5 over it would be, with shipping, for the item. I go back in the email, click the link, and copy the code again. I mean, I got a free thing, what's $5 more for another thing. I get the thing I wanted, paste the code, and only then realize it's entirely different. So, *naturally*, I added another of the item to bring the total to just under $50. Free shipping, no tax...and that's two more free items! *So*, ***naturally***, I repeated the process again, but with a $49.99 item and...still no shipping, still no tax, still free! Then I do it again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and keep on doing it multiple times every day on every item they sold under $50... until they finally killed the generator link a few months later, in mid-November. I was motherfuckin' CBD Santa that Christmas, lol.

I neutered someone else’s dogs without telling them. My ex’s mother was a very irresponsible dog owner. When the dog was six months old, she had a surprise litter of four puppies that didn’t make it because she was also a puppy and had no interest in them. The next time the dog was in heat, she had another litter of five puppies. She had no interest in these pups either. All the dogs ended up living with me because in addition to being a bad owner, my ex’s mother was also an idiot who rented in cash from her drug dealer and got evicted because she never got receipts and couldn’t prove she wasn’t a squatter. I knew it would be ages before she showed any actual interest in her dogs, so I had the adults neutered one day and didn’t say anything. I bottle fed the pups around the clock and kept the littlest one. As far as I know, she and my ex never found out.

I worked in the kitchen at a restaurant that allowed one meal a day for every employee. A few years in we got a new manager that decided servers and dishwashers would no longer get a meal. Well my fragile little mind couldn't handle this and I kept making "mistakes," double orders, wrong orders, or forgetting substitutions that couldn't be easily rectified. These mistakes had to be eaten so there was always a plate of nachos or French toast out for everyone on my shift.

Once a patient with dementia thought I was her dead sister. I couldn’t bear to tell her that she was dead so I became the dead sister for a while, letting her reminisce about her life and her childhood memories. I don’t regret it because while she was on our ward, she had her sister back with her, even if it was only for a few months until her passing.

I put all of the snails from my garden into the garden of someone who was regularly rude to the wait staff at the restaurant I worked at. 

When I was 19 I broke into my friend’s apartment and stole his ID so he couldn’t get married to this terrible woman. It was a “oh no I’m pregnaaaaant” bullshit lie which we all knew but he believed. Anyway he was getting ready to move to go live with his dad and be part of his dad’s construction company, a pretty solid career path but marrying her would have fucked it all up. His dad said there was no place for her and her kids at his house. Stealing his license and ID had delayed it and meant he couldn’t get a marriage license until he replaced them. She went wild and screamed “your friends f****** stole it they all hate me!!!” and they got into a huge fight and broke up. A couple years later after it was all settled we were sitting around my place drinking and he joked “whoever stole my ID, I probably owe them a beer” so I grabbed it out of my desk and tossed it to him. He laughed and said “I figured.” This was almost 30 years ago now. The woman has been in and out of jail for meth, her kids are all no contact. My friend runs his dad’s construction company after his dad passed away, and has a wife and kids of his own. He didn’t get married until he was 30 and his oldest kid graduates next year I think? Anyway, things worked out for him. I don’t know if it’d been any different if I hadn’t stolen his wallet, and I still feel kinda guilty about f****** up the screen door on his window that I climbed through. Never did reimburse him for the part of the deposit he lost.

I Work in vet med. Owner brought in their pug who had been dystocic for 24 hours+ Said he couldn't remember her name. Didn't want to touch her as she smelled. She's from a puppy farm. We took her and did emergency caesarian section. All puppies long dead. Owner phoned in and asked how many puppies did he get? I said none and mama is dead too. He left annoyed at having lost income from the pups. We kept her until she recovered, rehomed her to our best client and she lived the kind of life any dog would dream of from that point on. The happiest dead dog in the world! Completely unethical, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I was hired to be a teachers aid to a 3 year old with autism who was a notorious biter. The day before I met the kid multiple teachers showed me huge blue, black, and green bruises from his attacks. So, day one I get him off the bus and take him for a potty try. He doesn't want to wash his hands and starts to bite my arm. I put his arm in my mouth and apply equal pressure. He bites harder, I bite harder. The kids eyes go huge, he understands our dynamic, and we wash our hands and go to class. No marks left on either him or me. He never again tried to bite me, and the entire school thought I was an autistic-kid-whisperer. Nope, I just threatened him with a taste of his own medicine.

I worked as a security guard in my early 20's (I'm 60 now) and I ended up walking the beat at a car dealership that was having problems with people showing up at weird hours during the night. I was strictly for show: No gun, just the uniform, walking through the lit up showroom once in a while all night long. It must have worked, because nobody ever came around. I used that time to take joyrides in the new sports cars on the lot. I wasn't very smart, I confess. Grand theft auto, a permanent record, blah blah blah. But I never got caught, and those rides were sweet.

Was looking for a particular book that had a limited run and the author wasn’t going to print additional editions. There’s some on eBay priced up to €800. Sister in law was moving house and whilst helping I saw she had a copy in a box with other old book. She told me I could help my self and she wasn’t aware of the significance of the book. I took the limited one and she is none the wiser as to to it’s cost. She’s never getting it back.

In high school I worked at a restaurant. One day a customer didn’t like the way I packaged their onion rings and demanded a refund. The owner came in and made me pay him back out of my pocket. As soon as he left, I just stole the money back out of the register. I also didn’t pay for another meal the entire time I worked there. I’d ring it up and just not put any money in.

Reported a bunch of legitimate debt on my credit report as not so and got almost all of it removed

Someone close to me was in a dysfunctional friendship with someone who was ruining their mental health. I mean to the point where they were hurting themselves. I snuck into their phone and blocked the toxic person. They didn't find out for a while and it was long enough to disrupt whatever dynamic they had. (They didn't know it was me, they blamed it on their phone.) Eventually they were able to break away and seek help, and are doing really well right now, but it was scary for a while.

In my early 20s myself and my coworker hid a customer’s car keys because she had attitude and proceeded to open a bunch of sealed cosmetics to try instead of using the testers. She was looking for them and we weren’t being very helpful and then she was like “shit my dog is in the car” and both of us being animal lovers freaked quietly and pretended to “find” them for her. Note: We did see the dog and it was fine!

I have an inflated title on my LinkedIn history at an old workplace. I'd been trying to become a senior (or level 2 in their weird world of titles). The new manager said I was doing great for 6 months straight then at reviews said I was doing a laundry list of stuff wrong. I was blind sided. They said I wasn't senior material, I wasn't even a level 1. Most hurtful thing a boss has said to me. So I left. Put the senior title on my LI for that job and immediately got a job as a senior somewhere else. I see them check out my LinkedIn and I know they're thinking "WTF why does that title say Senior?!". Bc f*** them. I was.

The massive oilfield company I work for decided to start getting c****. Our district managers are notoriously shitty people and will obviously do anything to line their pockets more at the expensive of the guys on the crews doing the hard work. They’ve pretty much cut our pay without cutting our hours, gone out of their way to pay us less every chance they’ve gotten, endorse paying their shitty favorites more while taking pay as a form of punishment from good hands over tiny simple mistakes that weren’t even always their fault. Well, what these office assholes don’t realize is that this industry is made up of criminals and psychopaths. We found out pretty simple ways to make them pay even if it wouldn’t benefit us. In the work we do we will now go out of our way to intentionally damage expensive parts of our own equipment so we have to replace them, costing them twice what they were saving by cheating us on pay. Now, any chance we have to cost our own company money we’ll now gladly accept the challenge. As this company grows, the more the guys in corporate decide to treat us as subhuman scum so we’ve embraced it and have began to act like the shithead hands they always thought we were. I’ll gladly help sink the ship i’m sailing on just to kill the captain.

I catfished my next door neighbor the night before I had a huge final because he played loud music all night every night and wouldn’t stop no matter how much any of us asked. I convinced him a girl wanted to meet at some bar that was a good ways away. That was the best night of sleep I got that entire year.