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Announcements Mar 31, 2026 at 6:47 PM

What’s the worst possible response to “Police , open the door!”?

Posted by SeaGullible953

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d-signet Mar 31, 2026 +3066
Prove it! Play Roxanne!
3066
ABobby077 Mar 31, 2026 +463
I'm sending out an SOS
463
eldercreedjunkie Apr 1, 2026 +16
Dammit, now you got that stuck in my head
16
dazedan_confused Apr 1, 2026 +84
"It's a Sting operation,!"
84
meeyeam Mar 31, 2026 +139
I only open the door for Sting!
139
psykoX88 Mar 31, 2026 +40
*cop does insanely good solo rendition of Roxanne*
40
gl3nnjamin Mar 31, 2026 +12
Merry Cakemas
12
Low-Veterinarian2131 Mar 31, 2026 +2631
What happened down the street from where I lived, dude opened the door with a gun and the cops unloaded on him. He died, and they were at the wrong house.
2631
YoureSpecial Mar 31, 2026 +2241
It amazes me how a stoner delivering pizza can get the address correct essentially 100% of the time, but a bunch of cops can’t even get on the correct street, let alone the right address.
2241
ForgettingFish Mar 31, 2026 +1570
Pizza guy gets punished harder for getting it wrong. Cops just get a paid vacation
1570
Still-Speed-3632 Mar 31, 2026 +357
It’s not a paid vacation it’s a SUSPENSION with pay. They are different somehow apparently
357
thegamingbacklog Mar 31, 2026 +309
It means when they get back they still keep any holiday hours
309
trapperstom Mar 31, 2026 +82
And accrue more, because unions
82
Yellowchair_ Apr 1, 2026 +56
Unions are generally good. Police unions, not so much.
56
Bizarro_Zod Mar 31, 2026 +41
Their bosses don’t call them to work while on suspension like they do for normals taking PTO.
41
HistoricalChicken691 Apr 1, 2026 +32
They're always really upset about it in movies. Based on what copaganda has taught me, sometimes they have to endure it for months and they spiral into a depression. It's identical to a vacation except it's somehow torture. I think it's because they take their emotional support guns away.
32
Still-Speed-3632 Apr 1, 2026 +16
And their badge!
16
HistoricalChicken691 Apr 1, 2026 +10
How can anyone enjoy being off for months with a full paycheck when someone took away their badge? Truly a tragedy.
10
weirdeggman1123 Mar 31, 2026 +12
Pizza guy gets it wrong. Most people are nice enough to tell you you got it wrong. Source, ive delivered a decent amount of pizza.
12
WolframBeta2112 Mar 31, 2026 +46
Can confirm. Used to be a heavy stoner and a pizza delivery guy. I got the address wrong a total of one time. After 3ish minutes of ringing the doorbell and getting annoyed the guy I was looking for came outside to see why a random Honda civic was parked at the abandoned house next door.
46
JJohnston015 Mar 31, 2026 +142
They don't try to. They don't need to. There are no consequences.
142
BrowningLoPower Mar 31, 2026 +20
I get the feeling that there are consequences for being too good at it, as well.
20
chrisb993 Mar 31, 2026 +40
You get transferred to Sandford, Gloucestershire
40
tazztsim Mar 31, 2026 +15
Village of the year.
15
ProfessorPliny Mar 31, 2026 +16
It’s for the greater good
16
tazztsim Mar 31, 2026 +17
The greater good
17
CalabreseAlsatian Apr 1, 2026 +7
Yarp
7
tazztsim Apr 1, 2026 +6
Narp?
6
__bakkhos Mar 31, 2026 +58
I mean you probably just dont hear about it when a pizza delivery man gets the wrong address.
58
terry47147 Mar 31, 2026 +17
I still have the one that came to my house. He keeps the basement very tidy! /s
17
FirstSurvivor Mar 31, 2026 +16
I was the recipient once, at 11 at night. Me in my bathrobe and slightly grumpy to have to come out of bed : yes? Delivery driver : pizza delivery! Me : you got the wrong address Delivery driver : This is the address, see it's written right... Sorry to have bothered you.
16
KP_Wrath Mar 31, 2026 +12
Yeah, pizza guy is the one more likely to get ventilated in that scenario.
12
ortolon Apr 1, 2026 +97
They do get it wrong sometimes, but they believe the residents and move on. They don't bust in the door and shove the pizza down the occupants' throat and taze them for resisting ingestion and obstruction of dinner.
97
Zucc Mar 31, 2026 +73
This happened to SrA Roger Fortson. Cop went to the wrong apartment in broad daylight. The cop hid from the peephole, so Fortson probably thought someone was messing with him. He answered the door with a pistol in one hand and aimed at the floor, and the cop unloaded on him. He was 23, and iirc had just returned from his first deployment. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Roger_Fortson
73
BananaJelloXlii Mar 31, 2026 +113
You don't even have to have a gun and they will gun you down in your doorway. Look up Andrew Finch.
113
CaptainPrower Mar 31, 2026 +16
Think I remember seeing something like that a while back. Dude opens the door with his son behind him and the pigs mag dump both of them.
16
2Drogdar2Furious Mar 31, 2026 +47
They murder people every year with near zero repercussions 😔
47
FauxReal Mar 31, 2026 +31
He's not the first and won't be the last.
31
390TrainsOfficial Mar 31, 2026 +18
There was a video on YouTube where the police were at the wrong house, the husband came out armed with a gun, got shot dead and then they restrained his wife and put her in handcuffs for getting angry. I’d like to think she got a fairly hefty settlement and those officers got sacked.
18
3MetricTonsOfSass Apr 1, 2026 +10
I wouldn't first trust an arsonist with my paper and gasoline business than believe cops will get held accountable
10
Starrion Apr 1, 2026 +5
The taxpayers paid her a lot of money, and the cops are either still working there or got jobs the next town over.
5
ilovemarlii Mar 31, 2026 +12
America, right?
12
casual_creator Mar 31, 2026 +1076
I once had a roommate’s friend show up at my apartment in the middle of the night totally hammered. He made enough of a ruckus that a neighbor called the police. I made the mistake of letting them inside (I didn’t really know what to do about the drunk friend and assumed they’d just deal with him and leave), and the next thing I knew, the police were going room to room, rummaging through my shit. Thankfully I didn’t have anything that could have gotten me in trouble. Moral of the story: do NOT let the police into your home unless they PROVIDE YOU A WARRANT.
1076
ThadisJones Mar 31, 2026 +347
When I was in college and living in a c**** building in a not so good neighborhood, my neighbor had his door kicked in one Friday night while he was out. He came home on Saturday morning and called the cops. They cuffed him when they arrived on the scene and ran a dog through his trashed apartment without his consent (obviously). The dog "hit" on a small bag of weed allegedly in a closed cupboard in his kitchen, and the cops instantly arrested him for possession. His place never smelled like weed and I don't believe he used. They held him in jail Saturday, Sunday, and then released him on Monday before the courts opened without charging him with anything. To the best of my knowledge, the cops never did anything about the break-in or investigated at all. The whole thing was obviously an exercise in "f*** you for calling us over this shit".
347
Royd Apr 1, 2026 +98
It's a little late, but it's time for that neighbour to make a song "why did you plant weed in my cupboard" and rake it in
98
RideTheLighting Mar 31, 2026 +248
I had a roommate that had a seizure out of no where and we called 911 for paramedics/an ambulance. A couple of cops showed up with them and while the paramedics were looking after my friend, the cops started going through our shit too. I was like, wtf dude, we called you. I also called my college’s non-emergency line once to tell them our car slid off the university road in a snowstorm. They told me they couldn’t help me out but they’d send a squad car over. Dude pops out and accuses us of drinking or speeding (we weren’t, it was a freaking white out and we slid off the road at the bottom of a hill). He then proceeded to sit there and watch us struggle to get the car out. Really made me never want to call the cops again for anything, fricking useless.
248
DaedalusRaistlin Mar 31, 2026 +147
Man that's way different from Aussie cops. About 10 years ago, my housemate, going through a bit of an episode due to being in the wrong medication (misdiagnosis), called the cops and ambulance on herself fearing she'd harm herself. I came downstairs to find a bunch of police and paramedics in my loungeroom, and my ounce of weed out in the open on my desk near the front door. The cops saw my look and said, "don't worry, we're not here for that." Took my friend to the psych ward. Never touched my weed, I never got in trouble for having it, long before medical weed was so easy to get here.
147
rockerscott Apr 1, 2026 +51
American cops police using fear.
51
3MetricTonsOfSass Apr 1, 2026 +36
American cops hate Americans
36
grendus Apr 1, 2026 +4
American cops are literally *trained* to hate civilians. They genuinely believe and act like they're at "war" with the "criminal element" and that every interaction could turn violent at any second.
4
devAcc123 Apr 1, 2026 +9
Lots of places in the US have laws and policies and such that if you call medical on someone theyll look the other way on some stuff. Depends on the state. And most of the country, population wise at least, you can just have pretty much as much weed as you want anywhere as long as you arent a d*** about it.
9
CallSignIceMan Mar 31, 2026 +27
When I was in college, I was living in a rental house with 4 other guys. They all graduated and moved out, but I was staying until the end of the lease before I moved to another place. Apparently, a property manager came and did an inspection while I was out, and saw some clothes and a houseplant in one of the other guys’ room, and assumed I was letting someone stay there illegally. A couple days later, I was woken up from a nap by a cop and the property manager. When I explained, they left. Even though I know they saw the weed on my desk.
27
YoureSpecial Mar 31, 2026 +94
You can withdraw consent at any point. They’ll likely still not leave, but anything they find after you’ve clearly stated you’re withdrawing consent should be inadmissible.
94
SvedishFish Mar 31, 2026 +57
That won't protect you. All the cop has to say is that your demeanor while revoking consent was suspicious behavior. That you were skittish or evasive and that justified reasonable suspicion to continue the search. Don't get me wrong, if youre actively being searched under implied consent you should still actively communicate that do not consent. But you should never consent to the search in the first place.
57
Witty_Commentator Apr 1, 2026 +10
A friend of mine made the mistake of letting them in, the same thing happened; they rummaged through her stuff. They stole her grandmother's jewelry out of the jewelry box in her bedroom.
10
VirtKitty Mar 31, 2026 +477
I don't have any lemon pound cake.
477
Snarcastic Mar 31, 2026 +80
Fix my door!
80
Banana_powered_bike Apr 1, 2026 +18
Stop stealing my dough!
18
Queer-and-scared Mar 31, 2026 +29
Theres no kidnapping victims in here!
29
Ashamed_Green_8643 Apr 1, 2026 +21
Any kidnapping victims inside my CDs?
21
Halo_Chief117 Apr 1, 2026 +14
Randy Walters you’re a son of a b****.
14
Decantus Apr 1, 2026 +8
We said worst, not best.
8
Eat-It-Harvey- Apr 1, 2026 +7
I think The Daily Show wins the award for their coverage of the Afroman court case. [https://youtu.be/rIEGz9LtF3I?si=I\_PA9KHWuT59u4Da&t=88](https://youtu.be/rIEGz9LtF3I?si=I_PA9KHWuT59u4Da&t=88)
7
Wang_Fire2099 Mar 31, 2026 +178
"Police, open the door who?"
178
Embarrassed-Weird173 Mar 31, 2026 +43
"ok, boys, you heard him. He said 'Police: open the door. Woo.' He must be under duress."
43
22Taco Mar 31, 2026 +818
“Go away! Bate’n!”
818
eat_a_bag_of Mar 31, 2026 +108
Owwww my balls!
108
DookieShoez Mar 31, 2026 +54
I like money.
54
bguzewicz Mar 31, 2026 +25
Why come you don’t have a tattoo?
25
SanDiablo Mar 31, 2026 +12
The number one movie in America was *Ass*
12
ancalime9 Mar 31, 2026 +16
You got a thing for uniforms?
16
pedanticPandaPoo Mar 31, 2026 +12
Hey, they said worst!
12
Common-Marzipan4262 Mar 31, 2026 +5108
Opening the door
5108
username_1774 Mar 31, 2026 +1550
I am a lawyer - this is the answer.
1550
bearatrooper Mar 31, 2026 +534
Seriously. If the police show up uninvited, they need a warrant. If they have a warrant, they'll get in whether you open the door or not.
534
DookieShoez Mar 31, 2026 +513
Precisely why my home is equipped with real fake doors. None of ‘em open, not one. Not this one, not that one.
513
JobaBrown Mar 31, 2026 +187
Come on down to real fake doors!!!!!!
187
CerberusBots Mar 31, 2026 +37
I'm watching that today now. I have to
37
FauxReal Mar 31, 2026 +76
You live in the Winchester House? Edit: The other Winchester of the rifle fortune. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winchester\_Mystery\_House](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winchester_Mystery_House) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyzSWnTHZ-0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyzSWnTHZ-0) Looks like they've rehabilitated it: [https://winchestermysteryhouse.com](https://winchestermysteryhouse.com)
76
V4pete Mar 31, 2026 +27
The front door of that house has not been opened since the earthquake in 1906.
27
Mad_Martigan2023 Mar 31, 2026 +8
The old brick wall behind the front door joke is priceless...
8
LateralThinkerer Mar 31, 2026 +9
"Let's see what's behind Door Number Three!!"
9
2Drogdar2Furious Mar 31, 2026 +3
Do you have ants in your eyes?
3
Linked713 Mar 31, 2026 +40
This is what I don't get. Why is so many comments saying opening the door is inviting them in? Is this something I'm not American enough to understand? I open the door, ask what's up. My property is still not theirs to come into, door open or not, unless they have a warrant. If they want to use brutality, then it's their badge to lose.
40
Madzookeeper Mar 31, 2026 +65
They can say they have probably cause to enter based on literally anything they see and force the issue of they choose to. They have also been known to put their foot in the doorway, blocking it so that you can't close them out again. Basically if you want to talk to them do not in any way let them see inside or come inside at all.
65
Linked713 Mar 31, 2026 +53
Damn. That's living in a state of fear for people that are meant to protect you. It's freaking wild. I'm sorry about that.
53
queen-adreena Mar 31, 2026 +78
The US Police went to court to assert they had no legal obligation to protect the public.
78
zhaoz Mar 31, 2026 +32
And the highest court agreed.
32
da_easychiller Apr 1, 2026 +5
You know what the best part is?! These lunatics concider it the "land of the free" 🤣🤣🤣
5
def-jam Mar 31, 2026 +13
And if you close on their foot they’ll arrest you for assault
13
4melooking49 Mar 31, 2026 +20
If the door is open the can: “See a weapon” “Smell gas” “Find just cause to come in” In other words lie! Not all cops are bad but the bad ones ruin it for all
20
Alternative-Amoeba20 Mar 31, 2026 +16
Best to just leave em all outside. Good ones or bad. I'll be in here, not playing cop-l******.
16
Scottiths Apr 1, 2026 +5
It's almost like the bad apples have spoiled the bunch!
5
John316-LIFE Mar 31, 2026 +19
Actually this depends on a few factors. For example, I’m in the UK and my husband used to be a detective. There are in fact circumstances where he could enter a premises WITHOUT a warrant and it doesn’t matter if you answer the door or not.
19
Dan185818 Mar 31, 2026 +26
Same here. The important part, at least in the US is that if the police have a reason and authority to come in your house without you opening the door, they pretty much will be coming in whatever you do. If they're not allowed, and you don't open the door they won't be (generally, there are exceptions and you rarely hear about the times they follow the rules. There are too many times they don't, so I'm not on here giving police a blanket defense).
26
ConnectionIssues Mar 31, 2026 +12
Often times in the U.S., it's not about what the cops can and can't do on scene. They *will* do whatever they *want* to do. It's what happens after that you're worried about. If they enter without a warrant or probable cause, any half- decent lawyer will get anything the cops do after entry thrown out of court. Cops do what cops do. Then lawyers and judges clean up after.
12
Bar_Foo Mar 31, 2026 +22
Surely it depends on the country you're in...
22
username_1774 Mar 31, 2026 +12
It might be in some countries where the police have the ability to illegally search your home.
12
Bar_Foo Mar 31, 2026 +19
You mean *legally*? In some countries resisting a police search could be a crime.
19
slice_of_pi Mar 31, 2026 +114
Opening *fire* through the door. 
114
Inside_Pomegranate97 Mar 31, 2026 +31
I vote this one in regards to worst
31
bearatrooper Mar 31, 2026 +16
Idk, if it's ICE you might be justified.
16
Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot Mar 31, 2026 +4
Not much solace when you're dead
4
Winterwynd Mar 31, 2026 +19
*This* is why we all need good, sturdy security screen doors with a deadbolt. You can open the door to talk to them without giving them the ability to push their way in or grab you. If they're gonna break the door down anyway it won't matter, but it gives a safer option to talk politely if they're willing to be civil.
19
MangoPeyote Mar 31, 2026 +238
Ocupado!
238
PolyJuicedRedHead Mar 31, 2026 +86
Housekeepiiiiiing
86
chirop1 Mar 31, 2026 +17
Fluff your pillow?
17
Alternative-Amoeba20 Mar 31, 2026 +15
Will you just go away and LET ME SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
15
astreetratnamedesire Mar 31, 2026 +757
Yell's back. "No, we're the police, YOU open the door."
757
blueconlan Mar 31, 2026 +331
They could argue that constitutes permission to enter. That’s right up there with lawyer dog level cop bullshit.
331
Koolaidsman43 Mar 31, 2026 +121
As well as impersonating an officer
121
BaltimoreAlchemist Mar 31, 2026 +55
So it successfully answers the OOP
55
thx1138- Mar 31, 2026 +18
Opens door, sees Sting, Andy, and Stewart jamming
18
astreetratnamedesire Mar 31, 2026 +13
Hey...don't stand so close to me.
13
blenderdead Mar 31, 2026 +14
The police aren’t here man.
14
DeuteriumIsotope Mar 31, 2026 +93
"Those level 4 plates?!"
93
HeinousAnus_22 Mar 31, 2026 +188
“I am a meat popsicle”
188
alexander_wolf88 Mar 31, 2026 +51
SMOKE YOU
51
mrbadxampl Mar 31, 2026 +22
wrong answer...
22
EasternSnow6711 Mar 31, 2026 +4
Dang it came here to say that
4
psykoX88 Mar 31, 2026 +12
Damn it Immso happy to stumble upon a random fifth element reference
12
Confident-Pepper-562 Mar 31, 2026 +590
Or what? you gonna kill me like I did all these people?
590
Wonderful_Site5333 Mar 31, 2026 +34
W*****.
34
IronyElSupremo Mar 31, 2026 +62
Donut shop is down the block, man.
62
OriginalHell Mar 31, 2026 +220
"Yay, the Stripper's here! Everyone gather in the living room!" ~Actually said at my friend's bachelorette party 🤣 The Rookie looked horrified and the Veteran partner he was with was trying not to laugh when her 87 year old Granny opened the door. Apparently, we had gotten too loud too late at night and the neighbors called them.
220
archtopfanatic123 Apr 1, 2026 +11
Jesus christ 🤣
11
cruisingtheisland Mar 31, 2026 +162
Dave's not here
162
justins_dad Mar 31, 2026 +60
I guess in this context it would be like “sorry man, police isn’t here” Long version: “Police, open the door” “Who??” “The police! Open up” Long pause - another knock “Who is it?” “The police! Open the door!” “The police?” “Yes! The police! Now open up!” “The police aren’t here.”
60
String_709 Mar 31, 2026 +30
Man…
30
JackSixxx Mar 31, 2026 +10
No, man, I am Dave man, come on...
10
chalk_in_boots Mar 31, 2026 +51
YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I'M WEARING A TOWEL! I have literally done this and the cop was..... not amused. In fairness, it was 2AM so he can go f***.
51
vpniceguys Mar 31, 2026 +46
"I will in a minute, I just have to flush the drugs down the toilet first."
46
someguyfromsk Mar 31, 2026 +44
"You'll never take me alive!"
44
MojoFilter8 Mar 31, 2026 +5
They'll readily take you up on that
5
bigmetalguy6 Mar 31, 2026 +46
Only gay officers tell me to open the door
46
Chairboy Mar 31, 2026 +292
“Come in” M*********** you just gave them permission to come in and search your premises without needing to show a warrant. I promise this is probably worse than other stuff people post.
292
Jonny1992 Mar 31, 2026 +22
“This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed….b****.”
22
Wrong-Fig-5696 Mar 31, 2026 +39
It’s like a vampire… Hmm; I wonder if they have reflections, crumble to ash in the sun, and fear garlic too…
39
Disastrous-Ad2800 Mar 31, 2026 +17
my old mother made the mistake of opening the door... the police got the wrong address and of course she was of the 'we don't have anything to hide' attitude... they knew who they were dealing with and used the 'ma'am we just want a quiet word about a matter away from the neighbors' line.. anyway they made a mess looking for hidden narcotics ie emptying bins onto the floor and of course went fishing trying to pin something on us... ie where'd you get the money for this expensive looking tv?? AND once they're in, they'll decide which rooms to enter, what to touch, what they can look at and when to leave... anyway if you have family, this is something you might not be able to control... best to move them away from the door and allow you to speak with the police by yourself....
17
987YouBloodyTulip789 Mar 31, 2026 +13
And when they come in, they won't leave. Don't open the door, even for a second, even a crack. They'll put their foot in, and if you even try to close it gently, they'll charge you as battering a peace officer and essentially get permission to violently attack you. I've seen a video of a cop doing this then getting out their gun and threatening the homeowner (it was over something small like seeming some kids doing something minor than running back to their house). No good cops are going to come save you if you do.
13
MarkNutt25 Mar 31, 2026 +4
The post right above you is admitting to multiple homicides...
4
TheGreatGamer1389 Mar 31, 2026 +9
Cops use to go to the back door and say come in. But stopped doing that after getting blasted through the door one time.
9
lotsagabe Mar 31, 2026 +94
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?
94
BackgroundGrass429 Mar 31, 2026 +21
"Dave's not here, man".
21
nightrain13 Mar 31, 2026 +19
"I didn't know police did Doordash"
19
HuskyBeaver Mar 31, 2026 +34
"Smmmmmmmoke you, A******!" from The Fifth Element was definitely a wrong answer.
34
Big_Duke_Six Mar 31, 2026 +10
No, I am a meat popsicle...
10
Ferreteria Mar 31, 2026 +5
Hands on the yellow circles!
5
twilightmoons Mar 31, 2026 +5
"I am a meat popsicle."
5
Cosmic_Quasar Mar 31, 2026 +5
Poor Major Iceborg...
5
dancewithme__ Mar 31, 2026 +37
Yes papi
37
Timulen Mar 31, 2026 +11
Cops don't like being called papi... [I AIN’T YOUR PAPI!! Cops Tv show Passaic New Jersey officer Papi. (2003).](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvuJtJ62CbI&list=PLX8lJkE-NxaspUA7Yb_dXDFEaZtzM6O3a)
11
ACertainThickness Mar 31, 2026 +4
Then in that case Yesssssssss PAPIIIIIIIII!!!
4
Lower_Ad_1317 Mar 31, 2026 +32
“I will not open my door and stop calling me police”
32
danhoyuen Mar 31, 2026 +12
can i just pretend to not be at home? they cant exactly knock down the door without a warrant right? and if they have a warrant they dont need your permission anyway.
12
spidersilva09 Mar 31, 2026 +8
Yeah. Everyone acting like they know if you're in there or not lol. They will probably just leave a card and then try and find your cell # and call you. Or just come back later.
8
YoureSpecial Mar 31, 2026 +5
Basically.
5
UWillPoopYerBed2Nite Mar 31, 2026 +13
Police isn’t here! I’ll let them know you stopped by.
13
Nikatineaddicted Mar 31, 2026 +23
Finally, i ordered bacon an hour ago
23
Just-Pudding4554 Mar 31, 2026 +22
Front or back? *Unzip pants*
22
txkwatch Mar 31, 2026 +8
"go around back"
8
penkster Mar 31, 2026 +9
"Sir, are you classified as human?" "Uhh, negative! I am a meat popsicle!" Some day I'll be able to use this line.
9
readwave_x Mar 31, 2026 +8
I’ll be back.
8
Left-leaning Mar 31, 2026 +8
Depends, what country is this scenario set in?
8
nanomeister Mar 31, 2026 +9
Come back with a warrant
9
MegaDuckCougarBoy Mar 31, 2026 +6
"Hey, I stole this cocaine fair and square!"
6
FanBladeFleshlight Mar 31, 2026 +6
Anything if you're not white.
6
Sandman1812 Mar 31, 2026 +6
I am about to unload my shotgun through this door. Come ahead, pigs!
6
Fire_Beard7 Mar 31, 2026 +5
Wait I haven't cleaned the blood up yet
5
papayametallica Mar 31, 2026 +5
“You’ll never take me alive copper!”
5
TomVelJohnson Mar 31, 2026 +6
Kevin McCallister playing his gangster movie at full volume.
6
morelove9603 Mar 31, 2026 +10
I know you are, but what am I?
10
JoeMaxam Mar 31, 2026 +4
“Nobody’s home!”
4
TCsnowdream Mar 31, 2026 +3
“We’re by appointment only.”
3
deltap4 Mar 31, 2026 +3
Dave's not here man!
3
Odd-Sherbert7386 Mar 31, 2026 +3
SMOKE YOUUUUU!!!
3
thebeardedguy- Mar 31, 2026 +20
I can’t, I’m blowing your mom, she wants a kid she can be proud of!
20
Prestigious_Run_633 Mar 31, 2026 +10
“Blowing your mom”???Is mom going to impregnate you after you’re done blowing her??
10
dachjaw Mar 31, 2026 +10
Cut him some slack. He’s still learning how this works.
10
Sam88FPS Mar 31, 2026 +13
Shouting ''Say hello to my little friend!'' then blowing the door open with a grenade launcher underbarrel.
13
verbatim14004 Mar 31, 2026 +5
Sting, you m'fer! How many time I gotta tell you I can't stand those records? If I hear Roxane one more time, I'm gonna have to get nasty.
5
WreckNTexan48 Mar 31, 2026 +3
*Police, open the door* 💅
3
Competitive-Let-3317 Mar 31, 2026 +3
Let me put the lube on first
3
TomorrowOtherwise422 Mar 31, 2026 +3
From experience, "Just a second I'll get it for you." I walked towards the door to unlock it and they hammered it down on top of me with one of those battering rams. For context my Mum was a drug addict and I was sixteen or so at the time. I was genuinely trying to open the door. I suppose if you bring a battering ram guy to a door, he's gonna destroy a door no matter how polite you are.
3
No_Philo13 Mar 31, 2026 +3
Police who?
3
lizardreaming Mar 31, 2026 +3
Dave isn’t here
3
muffinthumper Mar 31, 2026 +3
Cops love when you yell "Don't be a hero"
3
Walter_Piston Mar 31, 2026 +3
“Where’s the rest of the Village People, then?”
3
Belteshazzar98 Mar 31, 2026 +3
"Door, open the police!"
3
LLMM7289 Mar 31, 2026 +3
This isn’t Dunkin’ Donuts go away!!!
3
FDVP Mar 31, 2026 +3
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
3
squirtloaf Mar 31, 2026 +3
"F*** you, Sting! Send somebody from the Clash, or I ain't opening shit!""
3
phantom_gain Mar 31, 2026 +3
"Im black"
3
TheRealLostSoul Mar 31, 2026 +3
Dave's not here.
3
Frequent-Client1508 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Dave's not here, man.
3
bigyack Apr 1, 2026 +3
Dave's not here
3
Snoo_23014 Apr 1, 2026 +3
"Hang on a sec, this ones still breathing...."
3
Far-Plastic-4171 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Best Line is " I am a meat popsicle" [https://youtu.be/aZFH4wCLVXY?si=icZ6m59OeOU0lxgV](https://youtu.be/aZFH4wCLVXY?si=icZ6m59OeOU0lxgV)
3
Five2one521 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Dave’s not here, man
3
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