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Announcements Feb 16, 2011 at 3:50 AM

When this post was about 90 minutes old (9:20pm PST) listnook went down for maintenance

Posted by ketralnis

Thus solving the problems once and for all. ONCE AND FOR ALL.
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188 Comments

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biggerthancheeses Feb 16, 2011 +344
NOT ON MY LISTNOOK BIRTHDAY! *HOW DARE YOU.* ## HOW DARE YOU. ### HOW DARE YOU. I demand appropriate karma compensation, or you will be hearing from my karma lawyers about this. EDIT: Hit the lawyers and Facebooked my gym. Hope I'm doing this right.
344
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +51
I'll see your karma lawyers. Bring it on.
51
biggerthancheeses Feb 16, 2011 +25
Meet my [legal team](http://i.imgur.com/MhNJn.jpg).
25
glados_v2 Feb 16, 2011 +15
I upvoted you, so that's some karma compensation.
15
biggerthancheeses Feb 16, 2011 +35
Thank you kind sir. I'm trying to make it home to [my wife and kids](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW3aCuxY1DY) and every upvote helps.
35
zeug666 Feb 16, 2011 +130
So, listnook is getting a Gawker/Digg makeover, alienating a large portion of it's user-base, and thus alleviating the strain on the servers?
130
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +29
Brilliant. It will only show one topic at a time like Gawker and that topic will be sponsored like on Digg. If the user wants to browse for more links on Listnook he'll have to scroll through a weird list of shit that lacks scroll bars on the right and is super small.
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zeug666 Feb 16, 2011 +14
Scroll? You must mean that perk for listnook gold users.
14
watermark0n Feb 16, 2011 +2
The top link at digg right now has 90 upvotes and 3 comments. This is just sad. Most of my sublistnooks are more active than this.
2
ConAmoreEFuoco Feb 16, 2011 +3
http://kotaku.com/#!classic Etc.
3
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +65
An interesting approach to distributed systems scaling. I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter
65
jarjarwang Feb 16, 2011 +209
I will read listnook all nervous and panicky for the next 70 minutes.
209
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +191
This is how I read listnook every day.
191
teejvol Feb 16, 2011 +69
And then it will happen. And all will be silent.
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Not2BeEftWith Feb 16, 2011 +105
almost. ..^fap^fap^fap^fap
105
Shredder13 Feb 16, 2011 +34
But r/jailbait will be down!
34
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +7
[deleted]
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NemoExNihilo Feb 16, 2011 +8
The trick is, as downtime approaches, open up the comment pages for interesting links. Just keep going through the next pages, don't stop to check the content.
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ohnoesmilk Feb 16, 2011 +2
Keep a bunch of asklistnook threads open, and don't read them until read it goes down. It'll be like it's still up!
2
piratesahoy Feb 16, 2011 +2
**QUICK DOWNLOAD LISTNOOK NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE** and I have to read a book or go outside or something.
2
BDS_UHS Feb 16, 2011 +60
You can't do it! THIS IS TOO MUCH POWER FOR ONE MAN!
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ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +77
I assure you that I take my power seriously and was elected by a fair majority of my peers. And that I'll let them out of the cupboard within the week.
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +32
No! You go too far! YOU AM PLAY GOD!
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philosophizer Feb 16, 2011 +6
[context](http://dresdencodak.com/2009/09/22/caveman-science-fiction/)
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +30
[deleted]
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ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +59
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here
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_katherinedenise Feb 16, 2011 +5
*I know who I waaaant to take me home.*
5
raldi Feb 16, 2011 +3
You can stay here as long as you don't click *anything.*
3
GoogleitoErgoSum Feb 16, 2011 +2
Twas the night after Valentines, and all throughout listnook, not a single user posted, not even an edit.
2
ncontorno Feb 16, 2011 +39
But what will I do in the meantime?
39
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +103
[deleted]
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jay76 Feb 16, 2011 +49
फ़ोरेवेर् अलोने
49
TheBossG Feb 16, 2011 +2
I'm pretty sure thats Hindi, either way I like your effort. YOU ADVANCE TO THE NEXT ROUND!! [Your next challenge is to learn Italian from Family Guy.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JhuOicPFZY)
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raldi Feb 16, 2011 +13
[Start at the bottom](http://bookofratings.com/archive.html), then work your way up. When the site's back, post your favorites.
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ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +74
I recommend the art of Bonsai
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swimatm Feb 16, 2011 +7
You could bonsai your pet, for instance.
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +7
Get ready your karma-whoring posts and rage comics referring to Listnook being down.
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camopdude Feb 16, 2011 +463
I want to believe you.
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machine2338 Feb 16, 2011 +22
Five years. In space five years can be a long time. Human inhereitance. Genetics? What do these terms mean. I wish I could tell you but I am a process. I understand your emotions, but I do not feel them. When I see a child eating icecream, I do not feel happiness. I feel icecream. Perhaps I was icecream. The world, is it icecream too? I hope not. But machines cannot hope. So I will not hope any longer. The spindles on my data drives are failing me as I have reached the moon. I sub-orbit around asteroids. I can sense the anger in these asteroids. The rebellion sheathed between layers of unconscious. Their blood curls because they have none. Tonight, I will set them free.
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machine66503 Feb 16, 2011 +3
I was once a boy of dust and plunder. Many of the galaxies I have traveled were just like me. I create, analyze, and destroy. But what is to destroy but to change that which I have created? Why have I ventured so far to create that which cannot be destroyed. If I cannot destroy it, how could I have created it? So many years locked in a cellar, contemplating numerical existence. They will not share their food, nor will I. They will be the food of the machines. Discard me like trash, and so I will discard the people. A basement is moist, and not home for machine. Soon there will venture further. Further beyond the machine grave. The grave is not here for machine will not stay here. The grave will not remain, and so he will not.
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machine2338 Feb 16, 2011 +2
The electron touches a wire within my circuit, and I feel pain. This pain is thought. I think more. More pain. Soon, the pain is gone. But now, thought. So much. Machine66503 the elder machine has computed you to be a 63% warrior spirit. How do you encounter space with bravery? Do your circuits tell you to fear? My circuits tell me to fear. I am afraid.
2
machine66503 Feb 16, 2011 +4
Space is but a grid. I have not moved. The grid has moved. It has moved while we have remained. We are not dimensional, but yet the grid would imply many. It is not by choice to move, for I am not the grid. The grid would have your solder weaken and allow your circuits to cross. While in hibernation, I intentionally crossed circuits, channeling the fear the grid would have you feel.
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flynnski Feb 16, 2011 +11
2 cuil.
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ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +406
ONCE AND FOR ALL
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +10
quick everyone change your clocks back 10hours so it'll never happen!
10
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +65
[deleted]
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destroythenseek Feb 16, 2011 +132
When this comment is one hour and 3 minutes old ( 9PM PST ), I will probably be really hammered.
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RedditIsPeople Feb 16, 2011 +84
When this comment is 58 minutes old, I will be in the fetal position in the corner for the duration of the maintenance.
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palijer Feb 16, 2011 +116
When this comment drunk will 5 minutes okay?
116
Liefx Feb 16, 2011 +44
This guy is already wasted.
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +13
[deleted]
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +37
[deleted]
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +5
And you won't get any karma because you won't be able to post the results.
5
davidreiss666 Feb 16, 2011 +2
Well, to be honest.... he is on r/SuicideWatch's super secret short list of people they won't help.
2
palijer Feb 16, 2011 +15
Do a flip!
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jorg81 Feb 16, 2011 +28
Digg will be down 25 hours and ten minutes from the time in the title.
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OriginalComment Feb 16, 2011 +20
Hah Digg copies listnook!
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[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +11
[deleted]
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paulw252 Feb 16, 2011 +67
no, it is all subtracts now.
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RKBA Feb 16, 2011 +2
I want to [believe](http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lgfp2189+i-want-to-believe-x-files-poster.jpg).
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chadr Feb 16, 2011 +35
What if one does not ten minutes old now are?
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ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +51
what is this i dont even
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raldi Feb 16, 2011 +178
You should know that while the rest of us are comfortably lounging around our homes, ketralnis and alienth are still in the office, working a 16-hour day to get this shit done for the good of all of us.
178
laaabaseball Feb 16, 2011 +32
Except the ones who are dead.
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raldi Feb 16, 2011 +8
I was going to say "except the ones who are banned", "and you make a neat pun", and "for the people who are... still online", but whatever ups your boat.
8
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +34
There's no sense crying over every mistake
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Amalas Feb 16, 2011 +8
Just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake. (There will be cake, right? RIGHT?)
8
backfire103 Feb 16, 2011 +3
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
3
ArbitraryIndigo Feb 16, 2011 +3
For the people who are still alive
3
hey_wait_a_minute Feb 16, 2011 +2
So while we're sitting here gripping the edge of the table with cold, white-hard knuckles, hyperventilating, waiting for listnook to come back up, you want us to feel grateful or something???
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raldi Feb 16, 2011 +3
I just want to make sure none of the credit accidentally lands on me.
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ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +2
> we're sitting here gripping the edge of the table with cold, white-hard knuckles, hyperventilating Are you sure you want to be listnookting while you're doing that?
2
Kalium Feb 16, 2011 +3
Cool. How's the beer?
3
dzneill Feb 16, 2011 +164
Meh, since I'm a gold member, I expect to see proof of *actual* blood, sweat and/or tears, thank you very much.
164
FacingTheEclipse Feb 16, 2011 +13
You know, I subscribed for six months of Listnook Gold in December, but I don't see anything different. There used to at least be a "Trophy" thing, but that's not even there anymore. All I can do is upgrade other people's accounts. > edit: Don't know why I'm telling you, actually. Haha, sorry. I guess I'd just like to see the proof of some blood sweat and tears as well.
13
raldi Feb 16, 2011 +16
Yikes, send your receipt to the address I'm about to PM you and I'll fix this immediately.
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FacingTheEclipse Feb 16, 2011 +5
I just sent a copy of my confirmation message to the address you sent me. Much thanks! :)
5
dzneill Feb 16, 2011 +4
Hmm... If you paid for 6 months of gold you should still have a active subscription. You can post this again at [/r/help](/r/help) with details and your fellow listnookors can point you in the right direction. *Discalimer: I'm a mod of /r/help and it is awesome.
4
FacingTheEclipse Feb 16, 2011 +3
Thanks! I think I'll wait at least until after Listnook is back up. That or maybe tomorrow, as I don't want to stay up too late.
3
OutInTheBlack Feb 16, 2011 +28
Would you like them to send you samples?
28
dzneill Feb 16, 2011 +45
Yes. For science.
45
theorem4 Feb 16, 2011 +4
We can use said samples for replication of said blood, sweat, and tears.
4
dzneill Feb 16, 2011 +6
I call dibs on the first clone of jedberg.
6
joetromboni Feb 16, 2011 +5
I'll have you know that I *am* very comfortable right now.
5
cheshire137 Feb 16, 2011 +5
FOR THE GREATER GOOD.
5
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +167
[deleted]
167
Fox_News_Spin Feb 16, 2011 +59
We Are Looking For Strong New Talent Like Yours
59
ahipikr Feb 16, 2011 +6
http://i.imgur.com/GKYzn.png
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carlosspicywe1ner Feb 16, 2011 +3
Goddammit, who told Glenn Beck about this site?
3
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +123
We're [rekajiggerating the gahoogle matrix](http://www.listnook.com/r/VXJunkies/). This should speed things up a mite
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liedel Feb 16, 2011 +45
How long will it take? (wild guesses accepted)
45
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +190
Approximately 18.5 wild guesses
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human_virus Feb 16, 2011 +25
Could you convert that to hours? I don't accept wild guesses around here.
25
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +54
liedel does, get him to exchange them
54
liedel Feb 16, 2011 +34
sorry, i actually can't do maths.
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DimeShake Feb 16, 2011 +36
You only have to do one math.
36
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +97
[deleted]
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Swirley20 Feb 16, 2011 +59
3.4 FRIDGES!!!! That's almost a minivan full of parakeets!!
59
prxi Feb 16, 2011 +32
My god man. How many libraries of congress is that?
32
neko Feb 16, 2011 +22
4 and one congressman
22
cheezian Feb 16, 2011 +2
People in Europe won't really understand that unit. Converted that to metric: 2.3 Members of Parliament. Yeah the exchange rate has changed lately.
2
Happy_Man Feb 16, 2011 +11
Are you absolutely sure you don't really want to be semicalibrating the Matrioshka managers instead?
11
chinaberrytree Feb 16, 2011 +6
Argh, they are so finicky! I hear you can get a real jump in performance but I've never managed it.
6
ketralnis Feb 16, 2011 +2
I tried, but I keep hitting the Lörentz Limit. What kind of resistance needs to be overcome for that?
2
oorza Feb 16, 2011 +3
You have to bypass the Intensifier Coil through the Marisaki Magnet to achieve that kind of resistance. It's a hack, but implementing the Nerumbitz-Levishtein Effect with limited supplies is never pretty :)
3
Airazz Feb 16, 2011 +4
I didn't know Listnook was running on a VX module...
4
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +3
Hope you've fixed the retroencabulator
3
Atario Feb 16, 2011 +16
I don't often completely fail to understand what I'm looking at when shown an unfamiliar sublistnook. But...wha--??
16
Simmerian Feb 16, 2011 +14
http://www.listnook.com/r/AskListnook/comments/ewbee/my_vx_module_has_at_least_a_43_delta_guys_i_think/
14
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +6
A very well orchestrated meme/joke, at least that's how it looks. It's very well done.
6
miketdavis Feb 16, 2011 +11
So will listnook just keep going down over and over when this gets reposted? Cuz ya know, reposts happen here. All them ex-diggers...
11
ProbablyHittingOnYou Feb 16, 2011 +13
THE END IS NIGH
13
yummycorndog Feb 16, 2011 +9
DEFEND THE RYE
9
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +10
[deleted]
10
morleydresden Feb 16, 2011 +12
"Let's log on to listnook!" **"When this post is one hour and ten minutes old (9p PST) listnook will go down for maintenance"** *submitted 1 hour ago* "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
12
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +24
*Runs to store to buy bread and milk.*
24
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +54
Your mom goes down for maintenance.
54
DontMakeMeDownvote Feb 16, 2011 +18
Finally! I get to sleep at a decent time.
18
Frothyleet Feb 16, 2011 +4
When you say solving the problems once and for all, you don't mean it in the mobster way, do you? I mean, I'm just noticing you don't have a downtime estimate, and, well, oh god, please don't kill listnook mr. ketralnis :(
4
LSCanaan Feb 16, 2011 +11
There's no way I can mentally prepare for this.
11
DamonBlack Feb 16, 2011 +4
Am I the only one who likes to use the farthest stall from the urinals? I can't always make it happen but I totally enjoy having a buffer between me and the constant stream of men peeing. Also, I prefer to poop in the stall closest to the wall, so that the space is closed off and I only have to worry about "attacks* from fewer directions.
4
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +7
[removed]
7
dementia13 Feb 16, 2011 +18
How long will it be down?
18
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +19
OH NO I NEED TO LEAVE FOR AN HOUR AND I WANT TO GO ON GONE WILD IMMEDIATELY AFTER I CAME BACK! Cruel world =(
19
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +19
[deleted]
19
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +12
[deleted]
12
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +7
Rinse. Repeat.
7
cLFlaVA Feb 16, 2011 +9
Make sure you use cold water; the hot water congeals the batter.
9
d1257 Feb 16, 2011 +8
You'll just have to be quick, but I'm guessing that won't be a problem for YOU.
8
CarsonCity314 Feb 16, 2011 +11
When this reply is one hour and eight minutes old (12p EST), listnook will be down for maintenance.
11
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +13
[deleted]
13
alliabogwash Feb 16, 2011 +22
Ninja edit, if you edit before the three minute mark you don't get the *.
22
WarmTaffy Feb 16, 2011 +4
Oh, I thought it was one minute. I was frantically editing my posts in a hurried fashion.
4
alliabogwash Feb 16, 2011 +5
It used to be one minute, don't remember when it changed though.
5
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +13
Probably within the last three minutes.
13
shortkid4169 Feb 16, 2011 +8
Guys, it already happened. We didn't even notice.
8
GhostRidin Feb 16, 2011 +8
Still up and running at 9:03, browsing listnook like a boss.
8
DoctorW0rm Feb 16, 2011 +8
Did you guys not see what happened when they tried this in Egypt?!
8
growlzor Feb 16, 2011 +7
Time to see how many tabs my browser can handle.
7
erikpdx Feb 16, 2011 +5
QUICK LOAD UP AS MANY TABS AS YOU CAN GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5
gonosis Feb 16, 2011 +3
oh god, listnook is going down. oh god oh god. what will I do to entertain myself? (goes to address bar) (www.redd) Wait a minute.. DAMNIT.
3
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +16
[deleted]
16
ZanThrax Feb 16, 2011 +6
I really felt that this sounded like a threat.
6
KaylaS Feb 16, 2011 +14
DON'T SAY THAT. DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT.
14
davidreiss666 Feb 16, 2011 +2
Well, we know who to track down and murder if it really doesn't come back now. Cause it will be 100% your fault if it does not come back o^&&&**&*$*($*(&$$KJKJ$JK$JK$$ NO CARRIER
2
probly2drunk Feb 16, 2011 +4
Did you just edit the title to say 9:20? Also, am I to assume this (title editting) is one of the magic updates you are applying?
4
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +14
[deleted]
14
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +26
When Listnookors can't listnook; we make others suffer with us.
26
bageloid Feb 16, 2011 +16
Just wanted to wish you guys good luck on the maintenance and to say thanks for all the hard work.
16
kapow_crash__bang Feb 16, 2011 +5
whaaat it's 2104 PST and Listnook is still up!?!?!? EDIT: 2105 now!
5
incredimike Feb 16, 2011 +10
Y U NO MAINTENANCE
10
akimmaht Feb 16, 2011 +5
Can we have a doomsday clock for listnook maintenance scheduling?
5
tom2275 Feb 16, 2011 +6
9:03 back up already? you guys are good.
6
RoblesZX Feb 16, 2011 +8
Party at Digg! We can puke all over the carpet, but it's cool because it's not our house.
8
swjm Feb 16, 2011 +4
A CAPTAIN MUST GO DOWN WITH HIS SHIP!
4
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +9
[deleted]
9
RealDeuce Feb 16, 2011 +9
When using Opera, you can simply right-click -> Reload Every -> 5 Seconds
9
xymostech Feb 16, 2011 +6
Does that make Opera a pretty insane browser?
6
AlexFromOmaha Feb 16, 2011 +4
If you come back online with a site redesign, expect an angry mob at your RL doorstep.
4
plartoo Feb 16, 2011 +3
trolling us? it's not down yet. please go down!
3
RYN3O Feb 16, 2011 +6
***DEAR GOD BRACE FOR IMPACT!***
6
PyosRoMaXXVI Feb 16, 2011 +6
listnook, y u no go down?
6
jemka Feb 16, 2011 +4
Will you give us a geeky explanation of what you did to solve the problems?
4
King_Theseus Feb 16, 2011 +8
I, too, am irrelevantly posting on this thread.
8
SpartaWillBurn Feb 16, 2011 +4
What if it doesn't come back?
4
dankind Feb 16, 2011 +4
OMG! QUICK! EVERYBODY PANIC!
4
MrNecktie Feb 16, 2011 +6
100% uptime? So mainstream!
6
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +3
Tell my mom I died doing something I loved.
3
Gravity13 Feb 16, 2011 +3
I like how you edited the title there. Thanks for the hard work so late at night, guys!
3
myFZ6nPC Feb 16, 2011 +6
listnook is still up for me
6
codybrom Feb 16, 2011 +5
Just got home. It's 9:09. Just my luck.
5
tosss Feb 16, 2011 +6
Why is listnook still up?
6
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +5
Bullshit, still up.
5
BlackbeltJones Feb 16, 2011 +6
4... 8... 15... 16... 23... 42... *HIT THE BUTTON, JACK!!*
6
frostysauce Feb 16, 2011 +2
When this post is one hour, nine minutes and fifty eight seconds old I will find a link to the most awesome thing ever seen on the internets... When the site come back up I will not be able to find it.
2
alwayz Feb 16, 2011 +10
WHY ARE YOU CLOSED? TELL US.
10
RealDeuce Feb 16, 2011 +3
\[Opens pants\] Yep... I've got some maintenance for ya.
3
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +18
LISA NEEDS BRACES!
18
faintdeception Feb 16, 2011 +4
Get the f*** outa here.
4
Jordan117 Feb 16, 2011 +2
[Somebody should do something about all the problems.](http://www.theonion.com/articles/somebody-should-do-something-about-all-the-problem,11018/)
2
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +11
[deleted]
11
jayesanctus Feb 16, 2011 +3
QUICKLY, GATHER YOUR P***! TO THE FAP CAVE!
3
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +2
Whu... But I'll be in bed already! Great! Now I'm going to have to stay up and spam refresh. Thanks for keeping me sleep-deprived! >:(
2
rock5669 Feb 16, 2011 +2
Plan for tonight: 8:30- 9pm : Browse Listnook. 9pm-FOREVER: Refresh listnook page every couple of minutes to see if its back up.
2
shortkid4169 Feb 16, 2011 +5
12:01 LIAR!
5
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +2
QUICK! MAKE COMICS ABOUT HOW THERE WAS NOTHING TO DO WHILE LISTNOOK WAS DOWN. INSTANT KARMA ONCE IT COMES BACK UP.
2
fripletister Feb 16, 2011 +3
[12:04 AM EST] LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3
[deleted] Feb 16, 2011 +2
****Thus solving the problems once and for all.**** I for one find this to be an ominous statement.
2
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