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Announcements Apr 1, 2026 at 8:51 PM

Why do we as humans care so much about what other humans think of us?

Posted by Final-Lie78

Follow up question? Do some animal species operate in the same manner. Are they scared of being judged? Is this an evolutionary trait? It’s crazy because this can be training out through exposure, but why do we as humans care so much naturally?
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Jemp01Gamer Apr 1, 2026 +11
We are born to be with others and form groups, that's why it's natural to find to be accepted by others. That's the idea I got after reading psychology.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Groups have leaders right, in most structures. Is not conforming to the rest of the group a personality trait of that leader?
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laserox Apr 1, 2026 +7
Leader? Or outcast?
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
I think it could be both but most all good leaders know the group of people they are leading and know how to play off of that. Ex: Jonny cares what Alisha thinks so I only have to persuade Alisha and Jonny will trail behind
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laserox Apr 1, 2026 +3
So how is that "not conforming to the rest of the group"? To me that sounds like fitting in to me. We care what others think of us because it could be a matter of survival. If everyone doesn't want you around, you have to fend for yourself instead of sharing food and shelter with a community. Just like animal species that live in groups. They want the others to accept them, or they have a lower change for survival and reproduction.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Nah that real, that explains it from an evolutionary standpoint. But in today’s day and age, do you think that’s a winning strategy. Not knowing what a group wants playing that role to get the desired resource(tailoring you resume for a job) but genuinely basing your emotions off of what others think.
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laserox Apr 1, 2026 +2
>But in today’s day and age, do you think that’s a winning strategy. It depends what your goals are and how you define your success. People have absolutely gained lots of money and meaningful relationships by networking and knowing how to talk to different people and fit in with them. >but genuinely basing your emotions off of what others think. You can care what people think about yourself without getting lost in it an making what they think your whole personality and purpose. As with most things, I think the 'key" is balance and knowing what will work for you and what you want out of life.
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Beneficial_Job_4339 Apr 1, 2026 +2
No.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Expand
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TransformNRollD20 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Evolution. There was a time where, if you couldn’t keep up with the tribe, you died. We had to compare ourselves to what the tribe as doing, where it was going, what it needed. That part of our brain lives on in our drive for social interaction. So, in order to survive, your brain still utilizes that comparison with the tribe to determine whether you’re about to be booted, keep up, or wind up worm food.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Sucks because in todays day in age standing out from the tribe will probably give you a better result
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Patootie89 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Sometimes you just want to fit in, there is nothing worse than being singled out as the odd one out. Human beings can be very cruel to people who don't share their world view.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Yea I understand but I have always been the guy who fits in to every group, the chameleon. I honestly think I’ve been living wrong. Standing out is way more appealing to me now.
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Savethemeerkats Apr 1, 2026 +3
Not to be too clinical about it but I think socialising is simply just such an important evolutionary trait for us as people, perhaps having been hijacked and turned to the extreme in the modern social media environment
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
I agree. I also believe socialization is different from the problem I described. Socialization is dead if both parties are just trying to impress the other. That create a dead/null relationship
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Savethemeerkats Apr 1, 2026 +1
Yea I would agree that it creates poor relationships if the focus is solely on impressing the other party, but ultimately acceptance needs to be present for a bond to form. So much is based on first impressions, which often comes initially from breaking into acceptance. That’s where we ruminate, I personally have a much lower bar for “impressing” friends than strangers.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
I do think first impression are very important as well, and I also think that an edge case.
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MaetcoGames Apr 1, 2026 +2
It is part of us genetically. It has helped us to create larger groups, which is inherently natural for us as a species, and a source of our success. It's one of the many things that, in right amount, used to help us prosper long time ago, but causes mainly problems in the modern world.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Key words though right amount. I agree with the you on it’s causing a lot of problems in the modern world. The obvious one… social media
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NeoChrisOmega Apr 1, 2026 +1
I would say we also care about what other no -humans could potentially think of us
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ChallengeCuriousity Apr 1, 2026 +1
I think it’s mostly evolutionary. For most of human history, being accepted by your group literally meant survival, if you were rejected, you were on your own. So caring what others think is kind of wired into us. Animals don’t really “worry about judgment” the same way, but a lot of social species absolutely care about status and acceptance in their group. I don’t think it’s about blindly conforming to a leader either, it’s more about staying aligned enough with the group to not get pushed out.
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sadmimikyu Apr 1, 2026 +1
Ostracism hurts so much because in the past being send away from your tribe meant you went hungry and died. Therefore, our brain makes us feel that pain a lot. Edit: fun fact Herd animals need the group to survive too. But in horses for example they ostracise ill members so the whole group is not vulnerable.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Human still ostracise, it may not be getting kicked out the tribe. But definitely still happens
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sadmimikyu Apr 1, 2026 +1
Yes, this is what cancel culture is, too. Not saying people should not be held accountable and in some cases I do defend it but there are ridiculous instances where people feel the violence of being cancelled for something rather minor. And not everyone survives that.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Cancel culture got taken way out of hand. People getting canceled for having opinions
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Flimsy_Listen_5851 Apr 1, 2026 +1
So what i think is that humans are social creatures, our survival and success historically depended on being part of a group. Caring about others’ opinions helped maintain alliances, access resources, and avoid conflict. Animals do show social behaviors too, like grooming, hierarchy, or mating displays, but humans take it to another level with self-consciousness and culture. Our awareness of reputation, status, and judgment is uniquely amplified by language, society, and shared norms.
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ledfox Apr 1, 2026 +1
> "Why do we as humans care so much about what other humans think of us?" Because, instead of teeth and claws, *community* is our keen survival tool.
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jarchack Apr 1, 2026 +1
In the early stages of human evolution, being a part of a group meant survival. The instinct is still there. Couple that with human ego and there you have it. Everybody needs to be needed.
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radishboy Apr 1, 2026 +1
Because we are intelligent enough to create and understand the concept of shame 🤷🏻‍♀️
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tryin_to_chill Apr 1, 2026
I never understood it either. Its not like we were born for the world's entertainment. Its the same as being a yes man. No one is going to go out of their way to make you happy but you find a way to do it yourself.
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Exactly, it’s honestly sucks that it’s really bad for some people. Flip side of the coin though, some people naturally just could care less
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tryin_to_chill Apr 1, 2026 +1
I try to care but I always end up regretting it
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crepesarentpancakes Apr 1, 2026
I'm 42F and I finally can say I don't give a sh*t what anyone thinks. Be yourself and the ones that enjoy that will stick around. Life is much too short to please people. Who cares!!! Yolo
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Final-Lie78 Apr 1, 2026 +1
That’s honestly the blueprint, what brought you to this idea of living? or better yet how did you achieve this?
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