You come face-to-face with an alien — what’s your first move?

Assert dominance by helicoptering my peepee in his face.

I'll challange him for a burger who can finish it first

"Let's go to the pub mate. I'll get the drinks in"

Trade bitcoins for alien technology

french kiss it and tell it thats how we greet others

i’d probably just stare for a sec, then slowly wave and say ‘yo… you guys got good wifi up there?

Quick attack followed by a potion cause im really tired

uppercut with right hook

Uh, try to talk to him.

Do the Vulcan Salute just in case he met another Vulcan before.

Is it loved-shaped or murder-shaped?

Say “finally!” And invite him in my house.

I’m having sex with it

My husband was right they do exist and then not tell him because it’s a dangerous precedent to let him believe he can be right

Smash. Next question.

Nothing, you are dead anyway. If it came from outer space, it means, it has such an advance technology it is like magic to our eyes, probably even beyond magic to us, so it is here only for one thing - to annihilate us, and we would be dead before we would even have a chance to speak or do anything. To think, it wants to communicate with some human, is false and would happen only in sci-fi. Realistically it doesn't need anything from us and is so far away from us, it is not even funny. We are not even on a level of ants to it, but more likely closer to single cell organisms and even that is stretching it. They are probably hundreds of thousands years of progress ahead of us and even that on space scale is extremely close, so it is probably even more, like millions of years ahead of us.

Is it male or female?

I think technically legally I'm officially supposed to call ICE or something but imma be real if they hot I'd prolly pull a Captain Kirk and try to rizz them

Invite them for tea and biscuits

J’essaye de communiquer

King's Pawn to e4 on the bottom board.

Ask for the pronoun Incase I find myself not existing anymore without even knowing and the cause turning out I used the wrong pronoun😂😂

Ask if they want a cuppa.

Grab a towel

If you're hostile, make it quick this place sucks, if you're not then let's get baked and watch Men in Black.

F*** it. I want to be the first man to f*** an alien.

Tell him to leave now and forget he was ever here. 

I'm not putting the moves on an alien

"soooo....you like stuff?"

Give them a drink spiked with V***** to see if it's a male or female.