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Announcements Apr 1, 2026 at 5:36 PM

Your username is what kills you. What is it?

Posted by Working_Total_8604

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fvckinfvck Apr 1, 2026 +82
i think i'm fucked literally
82
TisBeTheFuk Apr 1, 2026 +18
Same
18
digitaldrummer Apr 1, 2026 +25
Your profile picture is evil
25
Thrill_Kill_Cultist Apr 1, 2026 +3
Bugger
3
Mr-Safety Apr 1, 2026 +19
I think I’m safe.
19
SirRealTalk_TTV Apr 1, 2026 +1
You died to a defensive football player.
1
asstyrant Apr 1, 2026 +8
You and me both, buddy
8
cryptkeepers_nutsack Apr 1, 2026 +7
Well fvck!
7
IAmGoingToFuckThat Apr 1, 2026 +5
Yep. Death by snu snu.
5
IWillDetoxify Apr 1, 2026 +4
You're fucked, but in latin
4
Neither-Employee6848 Apr 1, 2026 +3
Mee tooo
3
The_Super_D Apr 1, 2026 +2
You don't say?
2
TheFlappyDick Apr 1, 2026 +55
Honestly could've been worse. At least it's memorable.
55
WallStreetKangaroo Apr 1, 2026 +7
🤣🤣
7
SinamonChallengerRT Apr 1, 2026 +5
Death by Snoo Snoo.
5
miserabeau Apr 1, 2026 +2
But he'd be pushing rope so maybe not. Death by blue balls?
2
Coffinsnake Apr 1, 2026 +36
A coffinsnake is the king maggot that eats all the other maggots in your coffin when there is no more corpse to eat.
36
big_airliner_whoa Apr 1, 2026 +14
That’s just awesomely disgusting
14
Metalqueen2023 Apr 1, 2026 +6
Metal
6
SpazzBro Apr 1, 2026 +4
Oh dear
4
WallStreetKangaroo Apr 1, 2026 +21
This is gonna be painful…
21
Sami-112 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Hahahahaha
2
SRSgoblin Apr 1, 2026 +2
Superstonk is looking for kangaroos to facilitate your demise as we speak
2
TheTrub Apr 1, 2026 +1
I picture him wearing a blue dress shirt and suspenders.
1
CobraMurderChicken Apr 1, 2026 +34
Exactly what it says - otherwise known as a Canada Goose.
34
fistsofham11 Apr 1, 2026 +11
Death by ham sounds pretty good
11
SpazzBro Apr 1, 2026 +2
What about the fist part tho
2
DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA Apr 1, 2026 +2
Could be worse
2
HamletJSD Apr 1, 2026 +2
Sorry, you're in my boat. Ham is just a nickname. You're going to get pummeled by the Prince of Denmark.
2
darkgothvamptress Apr 1, 2026 +11
Can it be death by snu-snu? 
11
neverenoughpurple Apr 1, 2026 +9
Guess I'm gonna drown in purple.
9
Friendly-Win1457 Apr 1, 2026 +4
Purple rain!
4
Sewerpudding Apr 1, 2026 +7
Oh dear
7
StockyOak Apr 1, 2026 +7
If I'm crushed quickly then good, but if I'm gonna be rogered by it, then I'm in for a bad time.
7
Miss_SunshineFlowers Apr 1, 2026 +8
I'll be killed by sunshine?
8
Subderhenge Apr 1, 2026 +5
Skin cancer.
5
Neither-Employee6848 Apr 1, 2026 +13
Wtf
13
paraworldblue Apr 1, 2026 +8
You are killed by someone who doesn't even work here
8
No_Statistician209 Apr 1, 2026 +2
You were killed by an employee but it was neither of the ones accused of the crime.
2
Neither-Employee6848 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Got that
2
HalfBeatingHeart Apr 1, 2026 +6
It’s already killin me!
6
Pitiful-Heart6346 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Same.
1
thecockmonkey Apr 1, 2026 +7
Oh no.
7
stopmyhamster Apr 1, 2026 +5
Please… stop him…
5
WhenAllElseFail Apr 1, 2026 +4
ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ
4
LordGoatamort Apr 1, 2026 +3
A purple war goat whose might is far greater than any mortal Ya, I think I'm screweed
3
daydreamersunion Apr 1, 2026 +4
Well damn...
4
Floridaman9393 Apr 1, 2026 +5
Me kills Me
5
X-Ploded Apr 1, 2026 +4
Well ....
4
ToySoldierArt Apr 1, 2026 +4
It's gonna be WAR!
4
readwave_x Apr 1, 2026 +3
Hmm…
3
sobernautica Apr 1, 2026 +3
drunken skydiving
3
Peanutmms Apr 1, 2026 +3
Peanut M&Ms. Less likely because I'm not allergic, but it is candy, so it will kill me eventually.
3
Old_Sweaty_Hands Apr 1, 2026 +3
I feel clammy
3
TopSecretSpy Apr 1, 2026 +3
I hope they can make it quick, painless, and not leaving too much of a mess.
3
kid__presentable2 Apr 1, 2026 +4
Beat to death in the boxing ring by Moe Szyslak.
4
The_Vengeful_Wolf Apr 1, 2026 +2
Getting mauled
2
PhoenixApok Apr 1, 2026 +2
An angry bird on fire I guess?
2
LeadingPiece9608 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Chess? You sayin' I die in a game of Chess? What am I Ronald Weasley or something!?!
2
writeinfreedom Apr 1, 2026 +2
I guess writing, or freedom 🤯
2
big_airliner_whoa Apr 1, 2026 +2
Whoa…
2
StingingGamer Apr 1, 2026 +2
I dont want to be stung
2
Aggravating_Stick573 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Aggravating stick…yeah I’m gonna have a few splinters
2
CardiologistOld5733 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Well…
2
SkisaurusRex Apr 1, 2026 +2
Sounds like a pretty epic death
2
slipperyslippers- Apr 1, 2026 +2
I shouldn’t wear any slippers
2
PaxEtBestia Apr 1, 2026 +2
Animals. Peace and animals. What's the most peaceful animal? That'll probably kill me.
2
GrasshopperClowns Apr 1, 2026 +2
I mean.. it’d be a f****** nightmare.
2
duckerduckys Apr 1, 2026 +2
I DIE FROM DUCKS???
2
rabies_peppermint Apr 1, 2026 +2
yeah so someone shoot me please
2
DancesWithElectrons Apr 1, 2026 +2
Shocking
2
definitelyNotMyCat Apr 1, 2026 +2
Definitely not my cat
2
patriarchydown Apr 1, 2026 +2
Welp
2
plzthinkb4uspeak Apr 1, 2026 +2
A really dumb person in a position of authority speaking publicly with no truth or knowledge behind their insane ramblings as they destroy the world we live in. Oh No, it's really happening isn't it?
2
Relevant_Shame Apr 1, 2026 +2
I don't know but it's probably sufficiently embarrassing
2
CholeraButtSex Apr 1, 2026 +2
Aw shit 
2
a_potato_ate_me Apr 1, 2026 +2
Baked? Mashed? Fried? Need more info
2
Potential-Brief-8167 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Boil 'en, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!
1
NunquamAccidet Apr 1, 2026 +2
My username is Latin for "it will never happen." I guess I'm immortal.
2
9000000bees Apr 1, 2026 +2
oh no
2
Blue_Fox142 Apr 1, 2026 +2
One hundred and forty two blue foxes 😭
2
tinyoop Apr 1, 2026 +2
Starving because I have almost no money, only a tiny amount of oop.
2
The_Village_Id10t Apr 1, 2026 +2
Stupidity
2
dying-of-boredom1966 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Well, I mean...
2
TuckerDidIt Apr 1, 2026 +2
Dammit Tucker!
2
JoesBurning Apr 1, 2026 +2
I don't like this question
2
Acubi_Fox Apr 1, 2026 +2
A fox dressed in acubi fashion style, lmao.
2
smileplace Apr 1, 2026 +2
Murdered by my dentist?
2
Cosmic_Quasar Apr 1, 2026 +2
If I go, we all go.
2
majestical_kangaroo Apr 1, 2026 +2
A very handsome marsupial
2
Bipolar-Type-1 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Literally myself
2
JCF_101 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Mine is kind of confusing. Would it be John Cena and 101 fans against me or 101 John Cena fans against me?
2
yeahhwhatchuwanthuh Apr 1, 2026 +2
Talking shit to a random person on the street, just to find out they're actually crazy.
2
79mn105ss105a104 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Punished by God, oh no, I'm a heretic!
2
piizza Apr 1, 2026 +2
Nice.
2
MangoSquirrl Apr 1, 2026 +2
A squirrel with a mango
2
Dick_man7 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Welp
2
katanakid13 Apr 1, 2026 +2
Well I guess Teenagers *do* scare the shit out of me.
2
TheJoyofFelching Apr 1, 2026 +1
A healthy snack from perhaps a less-than-healthy source.
1
RoadCheese Apr 1, 2026 +1
Killed by Colby and Jack
1
Fallwalking Apr 1, 2026 +1
Well…
1
LateToTheSingularity Apr 1, 2026 +3
My username checks out.
3
xoxnataiie Apr 1, 2026 +2
myself
2
Hikiko_Mori Apr 1, 2026 +1
I'm proud to be one, I don't care what society says.
1
SandyWalksTheWorld Apr 1, 2026 +1
...you'll find my skeleton in some desert. With a note scribbled in pencil, in an empty bottle beside me: "I loved my life. I hope you love yours too -- and I hope you really, truly, come home one day."
1
Purple_Toad224 Apr 1, 2026 +1
A purple toad
1
barbievelar Apr 1, 2026 +1
im okay with this
1
Clover321x3 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Clover is my name... yeah I guess I probably will kill myself eventually
1
DukeofBraintree918 Apr 1, 2026 +1
John Adams
1
Metalqueen2023 Apr 1, 2026 +2
I know him! That can’t be!
2
EphemeralLichen Apr 1, 2026 +1
Could technically happen I guess. At least it'll be quick
1
nWoScot Apr 1, 2026 +1
A Kevin Nash powerbomb
1
_NonePizzaLeftBeef_ Apr 1, 2026 +1
Old tumblr memes
1
texnchicago Apr 1, 2026 +1
Texnchicago
1
100KUSHUPS Apr 1, 2026 +1
Oh HELL YES!
1
-JustAHomebody- Apr 1, 2026 +1
A Homebody
1
Dear-Sheepherder3500 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Meeehhhh
1
foxfighter92 Apr 1, 2026 +1
A fight to the death is what it is!!!
1
ZevSteinhardt Apr 1, 2026 +1
I’m guess it’s me. Zev
1
xMidnightStarfallx Apr 1, 2026 +1
Giant flaming star ball falls on me at the stroke of midnight.
1
In2PerfumesnProperty Apr 1, 2026 +1
I’ll di3 from a perfume?!
1
No_Violinist6498 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Ummm not a violinist
1
shartnado3 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Well.. Curious how I survive 1 and 2 if 3 takes me out
1
MichiganGeezer Apr 1, 2026 +1
I'll get run over by a wheelchair, apparently.
1
BETHVD Apr 1, 2026 +1
Mother sauces
1
Delicious-Willow-769 Apr 1, 2026 +1
I get ate to death? 🤔🤔🤔
1
NoMarsupial159 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Evironmental collapse caused by the sudden extinction of all marsupials.
1
Mary_Tyler_Less Apr 1, 2026 +1
I knew she’d come for me someday.
1
Sorrelmare9 Apr 1, 2026 +1
My horse apparently
1
sturgill_homme Apr 1, 2026 +1
Bigass stereo speakers, maybe
1
wackyzebra43 Apr 1, 2026 +1
I honestly don’t even know how it would do it.
1
bacon-flavour91 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Bacon
1
therealwalterwhiter Apr 1, 2026 +1
Walter white
1
Equal_Resort4348 Apr 1, 2026 +1
An equal resort I guess. Idk what that means though.
1
DemotivationalSpeak Apr 1, 2026 +1
Depression ig
1
Snoringhounddog Apr 1, 2026 +1
My dog.
1
TelstarMan Apr 1, 2026 +1
I shouldn't have rented a flat to Joe Meek.
1
RogersMrB Apr 1, 2026 +1
A volcano misspelled to include a math joke. My death will be epic!
1
No_Recognition5658 Apr 1, 2026 +1
uhh who knows
1
peido_de_cona Apr 1, 2026 +1
Thank god I don't know how to translate... But it would be fun
1
anthropomorphique Apr 1, 2026 +1
Cartoon animals that can talk and have human characteristics.
1
Cool_Jelly_9402 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Sounds gross
1
trilldon11 Apr 1, 2026 +1
A twitter account
1
ChungusPuncher69 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Someone punches me chungis 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
1
CeilingStanSupremacy Apr 1, 2026 +1
The ceiling fan that I'm so in love with will fall on my head and kill me.
1
onehithammer Apr 1, 2026 +1
One hit by hammer
1
fiesta4eva Apr 1, 2026 +1
Too much partying.
1
TheVoicesSpeakToMe Apr 1, 2026 +1
The voices
1
Beneficial-Creme-446 Apr 1, 2026 +1
And your password is what revives you. What is it 😏
1
AvailableRoute Apr 1, 2026 +1
I’m I going to be like that local58 video?
1
thedrinkist Apr 1, 2026 +1
Should be obvious. Booze.
1
ihaveadarkedge Apr 1, 2026 +1
A blade in the night...?
1
-quoth Apr 1, 2026 +1
Discworld's crow translator for death of rats. I'm okay with that.
1
Ditka85 Apr 1, 2026 +1
The Monsters of the Midway pile on and crush me.
1
Emergency-Leading-82 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Idk some kind of emergency 
1
malachiconstant76 Apr 1, 2026 +1
A Vonnegut character. I always suspected this is how it would go down.
1
kaikoda Apr 1, 2026 +1
error 404. Life not found.
1
IntrestedManatee Apr 1, 2026 +1
manatee
1
Automatic_psycho Apr 1, 2026 +1
🥲
1
Blackstarhypersonic Apr 1, 2026 +1
I guess everything ends now...
1
insertitherenow Apr 1, 2026 +1
I’m getting pegged again then.
1
Zoprah Apr 1, 2026 +1
Uhhh i think I could handle this one with no weapons involved
1
CarryTheBoat Apr 1, 2026 +1
Boat smash
1
one_is_enough Apr 1, 2026 +1
Hopefully a bullet and not a punch
1
HUGH_JORGAZM Apr 1, 2026 +1
Die with a smile
1
Narrow_Jelly_4396 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Probably a man of war jelly
1
funny9uy Apr 1, 2026 +1
Laughter
1
archtopfanatic123 Apr 1, 2026 +1
1924 Gibson L5 it seems
1
SnipeyMcSnipe Apr 1, 2026 +1
I know what will kill me, but *when* is a differe
1
hockey-mom-59 Apr 1, 2026 +1
A mob of crazed hockey moms. Terrifying.
1
maxschneider Apr 1, 2026 +1
My golden doodle?
1
ChilindriPizza Apr 1, 2026 +1
Food poisoning would be the closest.
1
katneedle Apr 1, 2026 +1
Cats with needles ugh
1
Banluil Apr 1, 2026 +1
I guess I'm going to be isekai'd into an MMO and my toon there is going to kill me...... I mean....I'm going to kill myself.... Meh, there are worse ways to go...
1
FartVirtuoso Apr 1, 2026 +1
It’s not silent, but it is deadly.
1
ihavecandyinmypurse Apr 1, 2026 +1
Diabetes, I guess.
1
MorningWood28 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Hopefully while the wife is on me.
1
Whateverman1977 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Apathy
1
jayden_mp Apr 1, 2026 +1
Either suicide or my vtuber comes to life, which is equally terrifying.
1
Kitten534375 Apr 1, 2026 +1
ARE WE DEADASS!?😭😭😭😭😭😭
1
ACuddlyVizzerdrix Apr 1, 2026 +1
If not friend, then why friend shaped?
1
Photon__Sphere Apr 1, 2026 +1
Fall into a black hole…
1
GlassTablesAreStupid Apr 1, 2026 +1
Those sons of bitches….
1
BiancaEstrella Apr 1, 2026 +1
A bright star
1
alexdelicious Apr 1, 2026 +1
Cannibals having the best meal of their lives. I have impeccable marbling from years of laziness.
1
very_sharp_turn Apr 1, 2026 +1
Whiplash
1
markymark0123 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Mark Wahlberg
1
kemikal_rxn67198 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Chemical reactions
1
Saggy_G Apr 1, 2026 +1
Millennial gang violence 
1
motherof3heathens Apr 1, 2026 +1
Ugh my kids.
1
usernameinmail Apr 1, 2026 +1
Anthrax?
1
Cheesytacos123 Apr 1, 2026 +1
Not even mad
1
spelldonvalentine Apr 1, 2026 +1
A witch and vampire.
1
poopshanks Apr 1, 2026 +1
Lmao. That's nasty
1
Annual-Bumblebee-310 Apr 1, 2026 +1
*oh god it’s coming*
1
_shyhulud Apr 1, 2026 +1
An introverted sandworm? Awesome, I'm stoked.
1
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